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A reminder to clients: Be careful when in the company of companions


Jarrod_Uncut
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This isn’t the predictable, “be safe when around escorts because they may rob, steal, give you bad service “ tip. But rather a recognition about how to keep in check any vices like drinking or “partying”, even the use of “video head cleaners”. 

Had a good client/friend last weekend have too much to drink, too early in the day, along with some other type of THC “goodies” (which I don’t do and have turned down every time he’s offered). We went out for happy hour at our favorite semi-fancy restaurant, and I didn’t realize how inebriated he was until we were already there. After about 30-45 minutes and a couple drinks between us both, he was really going over the edge. Very touchy feely, other patrons looking like what the heck is up with that guy, and at one point he seemed to almost dozed off at the bar.
 

I immediately recognize, especially since he’s an older guy…this is a recipe for disaster and possible injury. So I flag down the waitress and get what’s left of the food to go. I felt very embarrassed and humiliated, not to mention: suppose a potential client sees me out, it almost gives an impression I’m “drugging“ my clients, which is a damaging look. To prove my suspicion, the waitress asks to make sure he isn’t driving 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

To make it worse, at some point between my client getting out of (the passenger side) of his car and going into the flat he lives, he cut his finger. Apparently there was so much blood that a neighbor called the janitor, and the janitor called the office and the office called the police. And guess who was the last person who was with him? Me. And I didn’t realize the stains I seen on the main entry door was his blood, the night before. 
 

Fortunately they contacted him, instead of me. But you can imagine how easily I’d of ended up being a suspect if he bled to death after I left. Even though he’s fully apologized and admitted that he needs to manage his drinking and “partying”, I’m still reeling because that could have really put me in a bad predicament. I had it already happen to a friend earlier this year: he overdosed on drugs, and his friends all pointed to the guy he used to “party” and go out with to blame, just because he was conveniently with him that night, and/or didn’t notice he was dead soon enough or call 9/11 sooner.

So I guess the point I’m making is: if you’re going to engage in “extra” curricular activities: be sure to keep it manageable or abstain, because you don’t want an innocent provider being charged or suspected of contributing to any accidental wrong-doing. Unless said person doesn’t care about the implications that could be left behind.

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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1 hour ago, sjmuktop said:

Jarrod, do you ever have an encounter with a client that goes smoothly? 😂

C'mon, don't be a shit.  He wasn't complaining: He was just sharing an experience.

I've dealt with having to quietly leave a restaurant or put clients 'to bed' when they've overindulged.  It happens, but escorts should never forget that we need to do things in the right way to avoid liability issues and possible legal repercussions.  

These are the little things you learn when spending extended time with someone.  It's really all about making sure the client's experience is a smooth, good one and that he doesn't feel horrible about what happened.

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A question for Providers - in the off chance you think things are so bad a client may require medical attention, what do you do?

In my own paranoia, I get worried that something could happen to me and the guy just.... leaves me.

I know the question will come....'What are you doing that could put yourself and that provider in such a position?'  I don't think anything, but I did have a couple incidents with marijuana usage as a data point.   

I like to smoke weed with sex and if the vibe is right, like to hang with a provider who is a 'smart' weed user as well.  I smoked a vape cart once and it must have been REALLY strong and I ended up a paranoid mess.  To his credit, the non-pot smoker provider was a total angel.  He used pot in the past, had friends who use pot and knew just what to do.  He basically held me, distracted me, gave me water, took a shower with me, put on some relaxing music, gave me massage...within a couple of hours, I was fine and embarrassed.  I gave the provider a huge tip and he checked on me the next week.  He was amazing!  His attitude was - You told me up front you wanted to use weed, so I agree to take on some responsibility if things go poorly - Probably not the norm, but I was lucky.  He could have just left me there.

Conversely, I was with a provider, we both used weed, and same thing happen, but the provider got super paranoid.  I ended up holding him, talking to him, ensuring him that I wouldn't let anything happen, I would take him to the emergency room if he was that worried, etc.   And again... within a couple of hours, we were both almost 100% sober and fine.

I'm sure providers and clients both need to deal with occasional issues, not just substance excess issues, like emotionally unstable people.

Is there an overarching message here?  When in doubt, if absolutely necessary, you're better off calling the ambulance, going to the emergency room, calling the police, etc.?

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@Jarrod_Uncut did describe the man as a “good client/friend”. If that’s a sincere description, then he certainly knows that this client friend tends to lose control when substances are involved, and yet his main concern in the narrative is his own professional/ personal embarrassment of the behavior, and liability if this guy has an accident, rather than any genuine concern for the safety of his friend and others. 

Every adult out socializing, who may accept any offers of alcohol or drugs, is responsible for their own behavior, and should not burden unwilling “provider/friends” with being their caretaker. 

If a client has money to hire, he has money to get himself home. It’s not that hard. Especially that late when… It’s Not That Hard.

I bet most experienced providers have a plan that factors in such variables, and can resourcefully balance their own safety with that of their companions. It does make for good drama, though. 


 

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Thanks for sharing Jarrod. That's definitely a scary experience and I am glad that both you and the client ended up safe and sound.

It reminds me of a provider regular who told me of a client that used to hire him for these parties. He didn't really like it since my friend doesn't do drugs but a lot of the guys at this party were and he could make like $3K for one night. But he stopped going to them all together when one of the party guests actually ODed on I guess GHB. As basically the only one who was somewhat sober, my friend had to rush this guy to the hospital. My friend lives in Montana and this party was pretty rural so apparently the hospital was like 40 miles away. And he goes to the hospital realizing he doesn't know who this guy is, even his name. Fortunately he ended up being okay, but scary situation and that experience put him off going to any "parties" after that. 

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1 hour ago, jeezifonly said:

@Jarrod_Uncut did describe the man as a “good client/friend”. If that’s a sincere description, then he certainly knows that this client friend tends to lose control when substances are involved, and yet his main concern in the narrative is his own professional/ personal embarrassment of the behavior, and liability if this guy has an accident, rather than any genuine concern for the safety of his friend and others. 

Every adult out socializing, who may accept any offers of alcohol or drugs, is responsible for their own behavior, and should not burden unwilling “provider/friends” with being their caretaker. 

If a client has money to hire, he has money to get himself home. It’s not that hard. Especially that late when… It’s Not That Hard.

I bet most experienced providers have a plan that factors in such variables, and can resourcefully balance their own safety with that of their companions. It does make for good drama, though. 


 

Okay, for the most part of your post you seem to have my back...but at the beginning it sounds like you're kinda slagging me off a bit. So I'll clarify: My good client/friend does NOT "tend" to lose control. This is actually the first time I've seen him get to this level. Which is good, because it's not a regular thing. Many guys (myself included over the years lol) have accidentally gone over the edge.

I also wasn't "just thinking" about my professional image or embarrassment, but that was a by product of the situation. You missed the part when I said I left the restaraunt because I noticed he was dozing off at the bar, and that in itself is dangerous because I've had a friend (same one who is now deceased) who fell ass 1st off a barstool after dozing off at a bar. So immediately at that point, that's when I knew WE had to leave. Notice I said WE, because I was going to make sure he got home at-least. And I even stuck around afterwards as he dozed off almost immediately when we returned. 

I guess what got me so much about the whole thing, is it was like 5 pm, and he's an older guy. That IS embarrassing to be at an upscale restaraunt and everyone is White and they're looking at the one Black guy with some older White guy who is clearly inebriated. So you're goddamn right I'm going to be feeling more shame than concern for safety...regardless if I feel BOTH concerns at the same time.

And we're still not sure how he cut his thumb. I'm hoping it wasn't at the bar while cracking lobster claws. Else that trail of blood would be even longer than from the car to the front door of the apartment. 

 

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15 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

C'mon, don't be a shit.  He wasn't complaining: He was just sharing an experience.

I've dealt with having to quietly leave a restaurant or put clients 'to bed' when they've overindulged.  It happens, but escorts should never forget that we need to do things in the right way to avoid liability issues and possible legal repercussions.  

These are the little things you learn when spending extended time with someone.  It's really all about making sure the client's experience is a smooth, good one and that he doesn't feel horrible about what happened.

Yeah, even though I was very annoyed about the incident (and believe me it wasn't even close to some of the worst instances of gay drunkenness I've experienced and seen over the years lol) I still tried not to make him feel too bad. BUT, I did make sure to call him out on it, and even mentioned the same concerns. However he was gracious enough to apologize for everything, even though he couldn't even remember anything that happened...including the trip to the restaraunt. 

I told him that it's not even so much the alcohol, but moreso the mixing of things WITH alcohol that can lead to trouble. I suggested he stick with one thing or the other. Definitely not both, and with diligent moderation. 

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13 hours ago, EastCoastBtm said:

'smart' weed user

The word oxymoron comes to mind. 

15 hours ago, jetlow said:

On the flip side I am sometimes concerned about the provider

I’ve told the story before, but back in my "I don’t do drugs but it’s ok l if you do" phase,
I missed a flight because a hooker was passed out stone cold for hours and hours in
my hotel bed. It’s no longer “ok if you do". 

23 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

be sure to keep it manageable

Baby, every drug addict and alcoholic thinks they’re keeping it "manageable".

23 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

or abstain

Better advice 

 

Edited by nycman
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17 hours ago, sjmuktop said:

Jarrod, do you ever have an encounter with a client that goes smoothly? 😂

I'm not even going to respond to this.

 

Of course I'd hate to brag, but this person I've known since December and he usually doesn't give me less than 400-600 per encounter. And we meet very regularly. 

HOWEVER, and this may just be the self conscious in me...I hated the feeling that the people in the restaraunt could have been thinking that I was "taking advantage" of him by drugging him up. This is in a fairly prestigious part of town, at a fairly affluent restaraunt. Not a good look, and easy to see why I felt how I did. It wasn't the time or the place. 5 pm on a Sunday versus 1:30 a.m. at a gay bar are 2 different scenarios. You can expect a bit of intoxication at the latter, but the first one: that's just not. 

But again, I'm not beating the guy up for what happened...I'm just emphasizing why it's so important for it to NOT happen to begin with. 

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Strict rule of mine: no drugs no alcohol (for both me and the client). I never do drugs and am teetotal anyway so it’s no problem to me. Clients sometimes ask if they can use something and the answer is “yes, but I won’t be there”. 
So I never had the situation Jarrod describes. 

I’ve had worries about some clients physical health though, especially in older guys or with disabled clients. I remember I was with one client who’s in his mid seventies. I’d given him a relaxing massage and things had progressed to sex which he wanted in bed so we’d moved there. He’d taken some viagra (he’d told me about this because he wanted to top). Anyway as he’s fucking me doggie and he’s becoming more out of breath so I suggested he lay down and I ride him which he agreed would be better. So I climb on him and start but after a while I can feel his cock soften although I’m sure he hasn’t cum and he seems to be losing consciousness. He’s gone very quiet. So I get off and check he’s ok and he says  he’s feeling unwell and can I get him a drink and his wash bag from the bathroom. I felt his pulse and it’s lowish and his breathing shallow. I’m thinking “oh fuck he’s going to die I’m going to call an ambulance “. Anyway I scramble around in his bathroom for the washbag and imagine that when I go back into his room I’ll find him dead. You start to think weird things and I was thinking how do I get a dead body dressed and what should he wear so that he’s decent when the ambulance arrives…

Fortunately he’s still breathing and conscious when I go back in. So I give him the bag and ask him what to get from it. He says there’s pills in a white container so I open it up and get one out. “This one?”  I say showing it to him. He nods, takes it and has a sip of water. I say to him I’m calling an ambulance but he says no, call his doctor who is apparently a friend of his. He dials the doctor’s number and hands me the phone…

So here I am talking to this client’s doctor telling him the client had taken viagra and had become ill during sex. The doctor tells me not to worry, put his feet up (I’d already done it) and that he’s on his way (apparently he lives in same building!). 2 minutes later, before I’m even dressed (tbh I’d forgotten I was naked) the doctor turns up and checks him over. After about half hour the client is well enough to sit up and chat with us. He apologises to me saying the doctor had told him never to use viagra because of his heart condition.

The doctor says to me as he’s leaving the apartment that this is the third time he’s visited my client in similar circumstances and he never learns. I thanked him and went back to the client in bed who now seems much better. So much so that he asks if we can continue the session with a cuddle etc and he’ll wank me off. I say to him that the whole episode has made me lose my appetite so we just cuddle for a while (which doesn’t stop him trying to get me hard but it’s just not going to happen!!). I tell him that I have to go (which is true, I’ve booked a facial) and that he should rest. The doctor was going to come back in a couple of hours. As I left I called the doctor and told him I was leaving and could he text me later to confirm my client was ok. He said sure, it would be fine and he suggested I top next time (I’m still not sure if he was joking or not).

Honestly I wish I’m still that horny when I’m 75. I’ve never been back to the client though! Im not going through that again. 

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I doubt it was the weed.  More than likely simply excess alcohol consumption.  This is coming from someone who used to abuse both alcohol and marijuana.

Marijuana isn't going to make you lose your memory of what happened.  You won't lose your balance.  The most likely adverse effect for some people is paranoia. 

Alcohol, on the other hand, is quite debilitating when someone consumes too much.  One can definitely pass out and/or fall over.  After excessive consumption, one will continue to appear functional (by that I mean they are still conscious) but seriously drunk but the next day they won't remember anything.  Someone abuses alcohol to that extent is lucky if they have someone who looks out for them, making sure they get home without getting into some sort of accident.

I still drink on occasion, but very little.  I can count on one hand the number of times I have smoked pot over the past 20 years. 

Not excusing excessive "partying" by those who are young, but at least I can understand the desire to explore different substances when one is a young adult and exploring a lot of other things as well.  Someone who is middle aged who gets so drunk that he cannot remember the next day what happened is just pathetic.

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Damn... there's some preachy/judgey people on this forum!  Everything in moderation, but occasionally human beings do slip.  I can count on two fingers the times I have been 'sloppy drunk' and probably an embarrassment to the people I was with and obnoxious to those around me.  Over indulgence happens to some people some of the time; it doesn't mean everyone is an addict.

In any relationship, friendship or commercial, if a person shows a pattern of negative substance behavior over time, they may be an 'addict'.  Whether you choose to tolerate it, try to help the person, or just walk away, is entirely up to you.

I have found a great deal of irony in some of the contributor comments on the forum.  We're here, on a site, talking (mostly anonymously) about an illicit activity that society has deemed 'inappropriate' - the commercial sex trade - and people are getting sanctimonious about substance use?  Really?

Addiction is no joke, but not all behavior is 'addictive behavior'.  Sometimes you just fuck it up, hopefully learn from it, and move on.

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I don't see any equivalency to being okay with hiring escorts.  Paying someone for sex is illegal, but apart from that it does not necessarily have a negative impact on one's health.  Consuming enough alcohol to reach a blood alcohol level of greater than .15 is unhealthy physically and can certainly lead that person to put themselves in danger they wouldn't ordinarily accept if they were sober.  And, again, I am referring to people who have been around the block enough times to have first hand experience with this and thus should be able to gauge how much is too much for themselves.  It takes a lot of alcohol to reach the point where you don't know what you're doing. Young people acting recklessly is not excusable if they end up hurting someone else, but it is understandable given lack of life experience.

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20 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Strict rule of mine: no drugs no alcohol (for both me and the client). I never do drugs and am teetotal anyway so it’s no problem to me. Clients sometimes ask if they can use something and the answer is “yes, but I won’t be there”. 
So I never had the situation Jarrod describes. 

I’ve had worries about some clients physical health though, especially in older guys or with disabled clients. I remember I was with one client who’s in his mid seventies. I’d given him a relaxing massage and things had progressed to sex which he wanted in bed so we’d moved there. He’d taken some viagra (he’d told me about this because he wanted to top). Anyway as he’s fucking me doggie and he’s becoming more out of breath so I suggested he lay down and I ride him which he agreed would be better. So I climb on him and start but after a while I can feel his cock soften although I’m sure he hasn’t cum and he seems to be losing consciousness. He’s gone very quiet. So I get off and check he’s ok and he says  he’s feeling unwell and can I get him a drink and his wash bag from the bathroom. I felt his pulse and it’s lowish and his breathing shallow. I’m thinking “oh fuck he’s going to die I’m going to call an ambulance “. Anyway I scramble around in his bathroom for the washbag and imagine that when I go back into his room I’ll find him dead. You start to think weird things and I was thinking how do I get a dead body dressed and what should he wear so that he’s decent when the ambulance arrives…

Fortunately he’s still breathing and conscious when I go back in. So I give him the bag and ask him what to get from it. He says there’s pills in a white container so I open it up and get one out. “This one?”  I say showing it to him. He nods, takes it and has a sip of water. I say to him I’m calling an ambulance but he says no, call his doctor who is apparently a friend of his. He dials the doctor’s number and hands me the phone…

So here I am talking to this client’s doctor telling him the client had taken viagra and had become ill during sex. The doctor tells me not to worry, put his feet up (I’d already done it) and that he’s on his way (apparently he lives in same building!). 2 minutes later, before I’m even dressed (tbh I’d forgotten I was naked) the doctor turns up and checks him over. After about half hour the client is well enough to sit up and chat with us. He apologises to me saying the doctor had told him never to use viagra because of his heart condition.

The doctor says to me as he’s leaving the apartment that this is the third time he’s visited my client in similar circumstances and he never learns. I thanked him and went back to the client in bed who now seems much better. So much so that he asks if we can continue the session with a cuddle etc and he’ll wank me off. I say to him that the whole episode has made me lose my appetite so we just cuddle for a while (which doesn’t stop him trying to get me hard but it’s just not going to happen!!). I tell him that I have to go (which is true, I’ve booked a facial) and that he should rest. The doctor was going to come back in a couple of hours. As I left I called the doctor and told him I was leaving and could he text me later to confirm my client was ok. He said sure, it would be fine and he suggested I top next time (I’m still not sure if he was joking or not).

Honestly I wish I’m still that horny when I’m 75. I’ve never been back to the client though! Im not going through that again. 

Just before the pandemic when I was planning to visit London, I was in touch with a provider who was hesitant to take me as a client since I'm in my 70's and he had had the same experience as Jamie with a client who had a heart issue during sex and the provider had to accompany the client to the hospital. So he had in his ad only clients up to their 60s. I tried to explain that heart issues can affect a 40 or 50 yo.

I think there is always the possibility something could go wrong in a sexual setting which is just impossible to anticipate. I always think of Gov. Rockefeller who died in his mistress's bed in this context. And that hit the press he was so high profile and had a high profile wife, who I recall was named Happy.

Edited by Luv2play
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I once backed out of an overnight engagement because the provider suggested dinner at his place and he would buy, at my expense, three bottles of an expensive wine he particularly liked. The planning for our night together had gone really well until he suggested that. I got cold feet at the thought of a drunk provider and me having to leave in the middle of the night.

I enjoy a drink or two at the most with a meal. I always appreciate a provider who is moderate in his consumption of alcohol. Re drugs, don't want to be around them except for a bit of weed if the provider relaxes with that. After all it is legal in Canada and treated like alcohol by the authorities.

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23 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

I once backed out of an overnight engagement because the provider suggested dinner at his place and he would buy, at my expense, three bottles of an expensive wine he particularly liked. The planning for our night together had gone really well until he suggested that. I got cold feet at the thought of a drunk provider and me having to leave in the middle of the night.

I enjoy a drink or two at the most with a meal. I always appreciate a provider who is moderate in his consumption of alcohol. Re drugs, don't want to be around them except for a bit of weed if the provider relaxes with that. After all it is legal in Canada and treated like alcohol by the authorities.

I'm sure he wasn't going to drink all 3 bottles that night with you. I assumed he was just buying 3 to stock up since you were buying. 

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