Falling in love with a scort

[socurious]

Anyone has experienced this?

 

The last scort I hired took my breath away. I sent him a message the day after and he never responded. That broke my little silly heart.

[Astorplace]

Well, what did you write to them?

[kingsley88]

In the message you sent, did you try to schedule another meeting?

[+ JEC]

You might be letting your little head think for your big head ?

[BtmBearDad]

I haven’t fallen in love with any of the gents I’ve engaged, but I have become very fond, and very comfortable with a few thru the years. We socialise, speak over phone and text, been to each other’s homes - all off the clock. Two of the gents are a couple, and are retired from this vocation, the others are still active.

 

I will say, I think it can be easy to fall for or think you have fallen for a gent. Especially if they are skilled in their vocation. Have I ever found myself laying there after they’ve left, letting my mind wander to all sorts of scenarios where it’s he and I as a proper couple? Sure. But then I catch myself, shake my head, laugh, and roll over.

 

I believe there are a few fellow hobbyists on this board that have stated they are in intimate, romantic relationships with gents they originally engaged, so it does happen. Hopefully they’ll contribute their two cents here.

 

As far as your gent not replying - that may be down to a variety of factors -> he may be in a relationship already, what you wrote may have given him pause, especially if it was your first booking with him, he may have no interest in anything beyond the transactional with any hobbyist, etc..

[big-n-tall]

Sheepishly raises hand... ?

 

Yes, I have. I really liked the guy from the get go but always kept it friendly and business like. Over the years my affection for him grew and grew. Then when he started telling me he felt the same way... well that was it. I recounted details of the story many times on the forum. Others have also expressed how they fell in love and became partnered with escorts they hired.

 

Also like @BtmBearDad I have grown very platonically fond of a number of guys I've hired. We speak regularly and sometimes even see each other just on a friend to friend basis.

 

With that said, all these relationships were cultivated over years. I don't know what you may have said to the provider but it was maybe something that scared him off. I don't believe in love at first sight. Don't confuse lust at first sight with love.

[Leyte2019]

Don't do it. It can be an expensive habit that never pays off.

[+ Lucky]

The subject has come up repeatedly over the years. The bottom line on falling in love with an escort is DON"T!

[Jamie21]

I had a client fall in love with me, well I say love but I think he was just infatuated. I was the first guy he ever had sex with and I think after about 5 visits I could tell he was becoming obsessed and it wasn’t a healthy provider / client relationship.

 

I’d get lots of messages from him saying how much I meant to him etc. It became really difficult to manage and I think I should have been a bit more blunt at the beginning to say I didn’t feel the same way but he was really nice and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I couldn’t say “look this is a transaction, I like you but I only have sex with you because you’re paying me” which is of course true but very difficult to say when someone is infatuated and reads the passionate sex for more than it is.

 

I started to distance myself by being unavailable when he wanted to book, and not engaging much with his messages. Eventually the contact reduced and fortunately he moved abroad but I still get the occasional message.

 

Since I started doing sex work it’s the single most difficult thing I had to deal with and I really don’t think I know how to deal with a similar situation if it happens again. We all want clients to feel attractive and desired but it’s so easy for a client who may be looking for a relationship to confuse that professional response for genuine attraction and a willingness to start a relationship.

[harlow]

Anyone has experienced this?

 

The last scort I hired took my breath away. I sent him a message the day after and he never responded. That broke my little silly heart.

Yup I've experienced this just last year....thanks for reminding me lol ?

[+ WilliamM]

In the 1970s, I crushed on a business client who was six years younger (not an escort). Six months later, the owner of the building where he lived asked me to move in and manage the building. True Story.

 

We never fucked, but became very good friends. Years later we still keep in touch even though he lives in Florida now.

[marylander1940]

I had a client fall in love with me, well I say love but I think he was just infatuated. I was the first guy he ever had sex with and I think after about 5 visits I could tell he was becoming obsessed and it wasn’t a healthy provider / client relationship.

 

I’d get lots of messages from him saying how much I meant to him etc. It became really difficult to manage and I think I should have been a bit more blunt at the beginning to say I didn’t feel the same way but he was really nice and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I couldn’t say “look this is a transaction, I like you but I only have sex with you because you’re paying me” which is of course true but very difficult to say when someone is infatuated and reads the passionate sex for more than it is.

 

I started to distance myself by being unavailable when he wanted to book, and not engaging much with his messages. Eventually the contact reduced and fortunately he moved abroad but I still get the occasional message.

 

Since I started doing sex work it’s the single most difficult thing I had to deal with and I really don’t think I know how to deal with a similar situation if it happens again. We all want clients to feel attractive and desired but it’s so easy for a client who may be looking for a relationship to confuse that professional response for genuine attraction and a willingness to start a relationship.

 

I understand why you acted like that and I'm sure you instinct has kept you out of trouble. Some escorts might consider someone with that interest as a potential retirement.

 

I'm sure many young and handsome men hire for different reasons but according to some of the stories I've been told guys who want a special kind of deal with escorts usually punch waaaaaay above their weight.

[marylander1940]

Anyone has experienced this?

 

The last scort I hired took my breath away. I sent him a message the day after and he never responded. That broke my little silly heart.

 

You should have texted him: "When can I hire you again?"

[+ purplekow]

I have fallen in love with an escort. In fact, I have fallen in love with just about all of them. That love lasts for the duration of the hire. After that, I have been friendly with many but in love with none.

[Jamie21]

I understand why you acted like that and I'm sure you instinct has kept you out of trouble. Some escorts might consider someone with that interest as a potential retirement.

 

I'm sure many young and handsome men hire for different reasons but according to some of the stories I've been told guys who want a special kind of deal with escorts usually punch waaaaaay above their weight.

Yes I think some might do that. I got the impression my guy wasn’t wealthy and he was younger than me. It wasn’t a retirement opportunity and to be honest I don’t think I could have kept up with him. He’d usually cum three times in a session. That’s no retirement!

[+ FrankR]

I’d get lots of messages from him saying how much I meant to him etc. It became really difficult to manage and I think I should have been a bit more blunt at the beginning to say I didn’t feel the same way but he was really nice and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

Sounds like a tough spot to be in. I’ve been there myself. I always try to set the appropriate boundaries when I feel things are going too far.

For example, my reply message when he sends me a text will read something like: “Hey Jamie! How are you my friend?” Note the use of “friend” instead of “babe”, “my love” or “sweetheart”. Words matter. You can be polite, friendly and clear without being cold, rude or dismissive. Just one of those skills we pick up as time goes by! ?

[liubit]

I have fallen in love with an escort. In fact, I have fallen in love with just about all of them. That love lasts for the duration of the hire. After that, I have been friendly with many but in love with none.

Yes, yes, just like he says. ? I fall in love one escort at a time and, like Cinderella, love turns into a pumpkin the moment they leave.

[kingsley88]

Sounds like a tough spot to be in. I’ve been there myself. I always try to set the appropriate boundaries when I feel things are going too far.

For example, my reply message when he sends me a text will read something like: “Hey Jamie! How are you my friend?” Note the use of “friend” instead of “babe”, “my love” or “sweetheart”. Words matter. You can be polite, friendly and clear without being cold, rude or dismissive. Just one of those skills we pick up as time goes by! ?

I agree words matter... especially when texting! I learned that skill from dating guys who wanted something more from me but I didn’t want more than friendship.

[Jamie21]

I agree words matter... especially when texting! I learned that skill from dating guys who wanted something more from me but I didn’t want more than friendship.

Yes indeed words matter. He’d send messages using words like “love” and “we are brothers”. I couldn’t respond in the same terms. Very difficult indeed to let him down without hurting his feelings.

[lonely_john]

In the message you sent, did you try to schedule another meeting?

You should have texted him: "When can I hire you again?"

That's usually how escorts "feel the love" LOL.

Edited May 1, 2021 by lonely_john

[lonely_john]

Don't confuse lust at first sight with love.

Been there. It boils down to this.

[AlexanderRF]

oh god, this topic is so relevant. Had it more than often that a client fell in love with me. And just one advice: don't fall in love with an escort. What they said before, when they do like they love you, its mostly for the wrong reasons. Money. For me it's always clear, and in Munich I have mostly guys that I meet every (other) week. But it is a clear friends-with-benefits relation kind of thing. Besides that we go also out for dinner, a visit to some place (besides my bedroom) and that is unpaid. And that is normal in my opinion. But falling in love with an escort: nah. Don't go there.

[CalTec]

Years ago I met one really cool client, only problem was he was openly contemplating leaving his bf of many years to be with me. I swiftly ended that , he sorted his shit out and now we still get together and its never spoken of. Sometimes clients who fall in love too quickly need some space from the great sex and realize what they have beyond time with their escort.

[Monarchy79]

Falling in love with an escort is just about as naive as:

1.) Thinking that devoted salespeople in high end retail are your “friends” (they send all of the customers that make them money birthday and holiday cards and make sure they get “special privileges” to new collections and first dibs on shipments”

 

2.) Thinking that your employer cares about you. They care about your work benefitting their bottom line.

 

Sorry to be a “Danny Downer”, but much of our “relationships” in life are transactional. It’s all a give and take.

 

So if an escort makes you feel so good, that you’re falling in love with him, enjoy the feeling, understand that it’s not real, and that he’s excellent at his profession.

 

Personally, I don’t believe in the concept of “falling in love”, at all.... but that’s for another time to discuss...

[Monarchy79]

Falling in love with an escort is just about as naive as:

1.) Thinking that devoted salespeople in high end retail are your “friends” (they send all of the customers that make them money birthday and holiday cards and make sure they get “special privileges” to new collections and first dibs on shipments”

 

2.) Thinking that your employer cares about you. They care about your work benefitting their bottom line.

 

Sorry to be a “Danny Downer”, but much of our “relationships” in life are transactional. It’s all a give and take.

 

So if an escort makes you feel so good, that you’re falling in love with him, enjoy the feeling, understand that it’s not real, and that he’s excellent at his profession.

 

Personally, I don’t believe in the concept of “falling in love”, at all.... but that’s for another time to discuss...