Some days, I just don’t know...

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I was going to suggest this a while ago to you...

Have you ever considered getting a mentor?

 

Seriously, a mentor.

 

In every other field of business, a mentor can guide you in achieving your goals, succeeding, and avoiding possible pitfalls.

 

I’m certain there are successful pros, who have done well, and could advise you on strategizing a new blueprint for ongoing success.

 

At the least, there are other guys on this forum, who are in the business, and seem to be avoiding some of the issues your having. They could possibly be a good resource of advising to you.

 

I wouldn’t see any harm in addressing these issues in the “ask an escort”, section of this site.

 

Well who do you suggest this mentor to be? Someone affiliated or not within the business? Because I’ll tell you: I’ve come across some escorts who will gladly mentor, but they’ll also rip you to shreds. I don’t need that type of mentor. I actually have a mentor, but it’s an online platform run by sex workers in another country. I find it helps reading it everyday.

 

But relying on someone who’s only going to tell me how to manage my life without any sort of tools to make it happen...I could do without that. And most every gay man I’ve come across who’ve played the mentor roll, finds a way to abuse the situation by saying something out of character and uncalled for. Just like @xyz48B who’s statement I didn’t read when I seen your response to it first lol.

 

Just had it happen last week: trusted friend of mine who’s not an escort but we’re same age. He always uplift me, gives great advice, doing well financially by appearance (partnered, refinanced home and new cars every year), but doesn’t quite have much of a better credit score than me. But yet, said something completely unnecessary at the dinner table the other night, and I just walked away. Told him next day that was completely uncalled for, even though he claims it was just a joke. Obviously not a licensed mentor, but goes to show how some people can’t be trusted to not go too far with things.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I was going to suggest this a while ago to you...

Have you ever considered getting a mentor?

 

Seriously, a mentor.

 

In every other field of business, a mentor can guide you in achieving your goals, succeeding, and avoiding possible pitfalls.

 

I’m certain there are successful pros, who have done well, and could advise you on strategizing a new blueprint for ongoing success.

 

At the least, there are other guys on this forum, who are in the business, and seem to be avoiding some of the issues your having. They could possibly be a good resource of advising to you.

 

I wouldn’t see any harm in addressing these issues in the “ask an escort”, section of this site.

 

Well who do you suggest this mentor to be? Someone affiliated or not within the business? Because I’ll tell you: I’ve come across some escorts who will gladly mentor, but they’ll also rip you to shreds. I don’t need that type of mentor. I actually have a mentor, but it’s an online platform run by sex workers in another country. I find it helps reading it everyday.

 

But relying on someone who’s only going to tell me how to manage my life without any sort of tools to make it happen...I could do without that. And most every gay man I’ve come across who’ve played the mentor roll, finds a way to abuse the situation by saying something out of character and uncalled for. Just like @xyz48B who’s statement I didn’t read when I seen your response to it first lol.

 

Just had it happen last week: trusted friend of mine who’s not an escort but we’re same age. He always uplift me, gives great advice, doing well financially by appearance (partnered, refinanced home and new cars every year), but doesn’t quite have much of a better credit score than me. But yet, said something completely unnecessary at the dinner table the other night, and I just walked away. Told him next day that was completely uncalled for, even though he claims it was just a joke. Obviously not a licensed mentor, but goes to show how some people can’t be trusted to not go too far with things.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

“I don’t even see how people who do have a regular real time job can even do this “on the side”.”

 

I have three regulars. One does well as a stylist, one is in grad school, and the other works in hospitality. I get along with all three so well that I see them regularly on the side. None have ads anymore. It is possible to have a full-time gig and do this on the side if you have a small group of regulars. In fact, it’s a great way to supplement income and have some nice trips as well.

 

Well you just said it right there though. Granted I don’t know their reasons for not having ads, but if they don’t have ads anymore...technically they aren’t still in the business as far as taking inquiries anymore. That’s a different playing field. By having a regular job and not advertising while seeing clients on the side, they eliminate the financial part of paying for ads, and eliminate the time wasting part of people contacting their ads.

 

I have clients as well who I can contact and schedule appointments with. That’s easy. Quit advertising, get a job, and just entertain clients who I already have met. But that’s not the same thing as a full time escort with multiple ads, receiving calls throughout the week, traveling to other cities, etc.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

“I don’t even see how people who do have a regular real time job can even do this “on the side”.”

 

I have three regulars. One does well as a stylist, one is in grad school, and the other works in hospitality. I get along with all three so well that I see them regularly on the side. None have ads anymore. It is possible to have a full-time gig and do this on the side if you have a small group of regulars. In fact, it’s a great way to supplement income and have some nice trips as well.

 

Well you just said it right there though. Granted I don’t know their reasons for not having ads, but if they don’t have ads anymore...technically they aren’t still in the business as far as taking inquiries anymore. That’s a different playing field. By having a regular job and not advertising while seeing clients on the side, they eliminate the financial part of paying for ads, and eliminate the time wasting part of people contacting their ads.

 

I have clients as well who I can contact and schedule appointments with. That’s easy. Quit advertising, get a job, and just entertain clients who I already have met. But that’s not the same thing as a full time escort with multiple ads, receiving calls throughout the week, traveling to other cities, etc.

[xyz48B]

@marylander1940 – I have no desire to be as escort. ??

 

@Monarchy79 – I call it as I see it. You call it as you see it. That’s the fun thing about opinions; they’re neither right nor wrong.

[xyz48B]

@marylander1940 – I have no desire to be as escort. ??

 

@Monarchy79 – I call it as I see it. You call it as you see it. That’s the fun thing about opinions; they’re neither right nor wrong.

[Monarchy79]

@marylander1940 – I have no desire to be as escort. ??

 

@Monarchy79 – I call it as I see it. You call it as you see it. That’s the fun thing about opinions; they’re neither right nor wrong.

 

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. However, that doesn’t indicate that you have to BE an asshole.....

[Monarchy79]

@marylander1940 – I have no desire to be as escort. ??

 

@Monarchy79 – I call it as I see it. You call it as you see it. That’s the fun thing about opinions; they’re neither right nor wrong.

 

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. However, that doesn’t indicate that you have to BE an asshole.....

[xyz48B]

Hey, some here are pretty into assholes.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I just want to add: I wonder if some of the things, which I have said before were happening long before Covid, have a greater effect.

 

I was just looking at an apartment in San Antonio that I used to live in: $495 a month 10 years ago. Now, it’s $750. Nearly an extra $300 a month. For one, I’ve seen rents go up the f-ing ASS in 4 different cities. Nashville did it, Denver did it, and I’m seeing San Antonio and Dallas did it. Even though 1 or 2 clients can hypothetically cover the extra $300-$500 a month in rent, that’s not real life values.

 

So how the hell, am I supposed to be able to “host” when properties going up, up, up on prices, just to rent. I got tired of wasting all my client’s blessings on rent, in one case over 30,000....and still couldn’t end up keeping the place. I’m like screw that. But now, I’m in a race to get back into my own place, because my living situation with others has been a nightmare from hell. Can’t host short notice, housemate always up my ass 24/7, people holding shit over my head, like I NEED them for a place to stay. I’ve never been the type to not have my own shit, and I always own my shit or buy it new. Yet I can’t even afford to get approved for apartments built in the 70s and 80s ??‍♂️

 

I want to see THAT on the Congress bill: Create incentives to build new places, by making it illegal to ask a renter for credit and income checks if the property is over 30 years old ? Why do I need to prove I can afford something that’s been paid for 500 times over the last 30-40 years ??‍♂️

 

That’s what I talk about, being forced to have a 2nd job, in order to be an escort. We may need to have an extra job, just to afford our incall location. Because everyone wants us to “host”. Which wasn’t the case for a good majority of my starting years, up until 2015-ish when things went cuckoo. And things have never gotten back to how it was. It’s been lagging ever since. It hasn’t gotten better, and RentMen/Mass is just a glorified bandaid.

 

Idk if having a regular gig is how it always was, or how it’s just become. But It seems like unless you’re in a conducive market (which may not even exist in America considering the legal issues and fact it’s so many fake ads and competition), and/or the prototype that’s every gay man’s type, it seems harder to keep all the ? in a row.

[jeezifonly]

...That’s what I talk about, being forced to have a 2nd job, in order to be an escort. We may have to have an extra job, just to afford our incall location. Because everyone wants us to “host”. Which wasn’t the case for a good majority of my starting years, up until 2015-ish when things went cuckoo. And things have never gotten back to how it was. It’s been lagging ever since. It hasn’t gotten better, just a bandaid.

 

Idk if having a regular gig is how it always was, or how it’s just become. But It seems like unless you’re in a conducive market (which may not even exist in America considering the legal issues and fact it’s so many fake ads and competition), and/or the prototype that’s every gay man’s type, it seems harder to keep all the ? in a row.

 

OMG You’re living a working actor’s life, Jarrod. Consider:

 

Sometimes you are wanted desperately, sometimes you are invisible. Costs of living go up, work is unsteady, and often requires an additional source of income to make it possible

(I hear some even do sexwork... )

 

Most working actors are not stars - timing and the market you are in determines whether or not the career can sustain you now, let alone to middle age or beyond, and often relocation is not an option.

 

It takes money to keep appearance and stamina up to form. Working in live theatre, you never see friends and family, as you work evenings and weekends.

If you land a good Equity contract for 8 shows a week, it may be only for a couple months, perhaps in a city you hate. Or a really long run in a shitty role in a play you dislike, or you share a dressing-room with a pig... or an ex.. or both

 

Critics are everywhere, brutal to the ego. Flakes and users abound. Promises get made and broken, and you must put lots of work and time into your own promotion.

 

Benefits? They’re based on how often you work, if they exist at all. If better-paying on-camera work is offered while you are under contract in a play, hard choices crop up.

 

Don’t forget an agent gets 10-15% of every buck you make!!

A personal life of any sort is often tricky to balance along side the work - so many conflicts of presence and demand of focus.

 

Why do actors go through all that - I mean, why act at all?

 

Because they must. The process feeds their soul. The rush of getting it right (or wrong..) inspires them for the next performance, and all of it forms bonds with fellow cast and crew, to feel an intense kinship of purpose in telling a story for a short time. That’s the payoff.

 

Is being a sex-worker what you must do to feed your soul?

 

Find your payoff, Jarrod.

You deserve it, and it may involve doing something else for income.

Edited October 28, 2020 by jeezifonly

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

OMG You’re living a working actor’s life, Jarrod. Consider:

 

Sometimes you are wanted desperately, sometimes you are invisible. Costs of living go up, work is unsteady, and often requires an additional source of income to make it possible

(I hear some even do sexwork... )

 

Most working actors are not stars - timing and the market you are in determines whether or not the career can sustain you now, let alone to middle age or beyond, and often relocation is not an option.

 

It takes money to keep appearance and stamina up to form. Working in live theatre, you never see friends and family, as you work evenings and weekends.

If you land a good Equity contract for 8 shows a week, it may be only for a couple months, perhaps in a city you hate. Or a really long run in a shitty role in a play you dislike, or you share a dressing-room with a pig... or an ex.. or both

 

Critics are everywhere, brutal to the ego. Flakes and users abound. Promises get made and broken, and you must put lots of work and time into your own promotion.

 

Benefits? They’re based on how often you work, if they exist at all. If better-paying on-camera work is offered while you are under contract in a play, hard choices crop up.

 

Don’t forget an agent gets 10-15% of every buck you make!!

A personal life of any sort is often tricky to balance along side the work - so many conflicts of presence and demand of focus.

 

Why do actors go through all that - I mean, why act at all?

 

Because they must. The process feeds their soul. The rush of getting it right (or wrong..) inspires them for the next performance, and all of it forms bonds with fellow cast and crew, to feel an intense kinship of purpose in telling a story for a short time. That’s the payoff.

 

Is being a sex-worker what you must do to feed your soul?

 

Find your payoff, Jarrod.

You deserve it, and it may involve doing something else for income.

 

This is a brilliant- and correct- comparison

[marylander1940]

I just want to add: I wonder if some of the things, which I have said before were happening long before Covid, have a greater effect.

 

I was just looking at an apartment in San Antonio that I used to live in: $495 a month 10 years ago. Now, it’s $750. Nearly an extra $300 a month. For one, I’ve seen rents go up the f-ing ASS in 4 different cities. Nashville did it, Denver did it, and I’m seeing San Antonio and Dallas did it. Even though 1 or 2 clients can hypothetically cover the extra $300-$500 a month in rent, that’s not real life values.

 

So how the hell, am I supposed to be able to “host” when properties going up, up, up on prices, just to rent. I got tired of wasting all my client’s blessings on rent, in one case over 30,000....and still couldn’t end up keeping the place. I’m like screw that. But now, I’m in a race to get back into my own place, because my living situation with others has been a nightmare from hell. Can’t host short notice, housemate always up my ass 24/7, people holding shit over my head, like I NEED them for a place to stay. I’ve never been the type to not have my own shit, and I always own my shit or buy it new. Yet I can’t even afford to get approved for apartments built in the 70s and 80s ??‍♂️

 

I want to see THAT on the Congress bill: Create incentives to build new places, by making it illegal to ask a renter for credit and income checks if the property is over 30 years old ? Why do I need to prove I can afford something that’s been paid for 500 times over the last 30-40 years ??‍♂️

 

That’s what I talk about, being forced to have a 2nd job, in order to be an escort. We may need to have an extra job, just to afford our incall location. Because everyone wants us to “host”. Which wasn’t the case for a good majority of my starting years, up until 2015-ish when things went cuckoo. And things have never gotten back to how it was. It’s been lagging ever since. It hasn’t gotten better, and RentMen/Mass is just a glorified bandaid.

 

Idk if having a regular gig is how it always was, or how it’s just become. But It seems like unless you’re in a conducive market (which may not even exist in America considering the legal issues and fact it’s so many fake ads and competition), and/or the prototype that’s every gay man’s type, it seems harder to keep all the ? in a row.

 

Even if you didn't escort you still would need a place to live.

 

750 a months is not bad... obviously in a big city you would have more clients and pay more for rent, the market might be more competitive too.

[+ Pensant]

“I want to see THAT on the Congress bill: Create incentives to build new places, by making it illegal to ask a renter for credit and income checks if the property is over 30 years old ? Why do I need to prove I can afford something that’s been paid for 500 times over the last 30-40 years ??‍♂️“.

 

You’re kidding, right? I would never lease a rental property, regardless of its age, without credit and income checks. The owner is on the hook for property taxes, often a mortgage, and insurance and sometimes HOA fees. As @marylander1940 stated, $750 is reasonable for a big city like San Antonio.

[marylander1940]

“I want to see THAT on the Congress bill: Create incentives to build new places, by making it illegal to ask a renter for credit and income checks if the property is over 30 years old ? Why do I need to prove I can afford something that’s been paid for 500 times over the last 30-40 years ??‍♂️“.

 

You’re kidding, right? I would never lease a rental property, regardless of its age, without credit and income checks. The owner is on the hook for property taxes, often a mortgage, and insurance and sometimes HOA fees. As @marylander1940 stated, $750 is reasonable for a big city like San Antonio.

 

Here in DC the poor have been gentrified and sent to the suburbs for cheaper rent. We do have a clean, safe and reliable system of metro and buses but the metro goes according to mileage and the further out you live in the city the more you pay in public transportation.

[+ sync]

“I want to see THAT on the Congress bill: Create incentives to build new places, by making it illegal to ask a renter for credit and income checks if the property is over 30 years old ? Why do I need to prove I can afford something that’s been paid for 500 times over the last 30-40 years ??‍♂️“.

 

You’re kidding, right? I would never lease a rental property, regardless of its age, without credit and income checks. The owner is on the hook for property taxes, often a mortgage, and insurance and sometimes HOA fees. As @marylander1940 stated, $750 is reasonable for a big city like San Antonio.

Amen to the above, which is why I have never wanted to own my own home, which is a myth. I say a myth because you can have a home fully paid-for, then hit a rough patch whereby you are unable to afford the taxes, and away goes your home.

[+ Lucky]

Amen to the above, which is why I have never wanted to own my own home, which is a myth. I say a myth because you can have a home fully paid-for, then hit a rough patch whereby you are unable to afford the taxes, and away goes your home.

...or, your home can go up in value so much that you live for free for many years, then sell and still take away a hunk of cash. When the market was booming, that often happened.

[+ sync]

...or, your home can go up in value so much that you live for free for many years, then sell and still take away a hunk of cash. When the market was booming, that often happened.

That can work if the planets align, but for a home to go up appreciably in value generally requires additional capital investment:

• sprucing up the landscaping
  
• adding more space
  
• repairing/replacing HEVAC/water heater
  
• repairing/replacing roof
  
• adding technology
  
• replacing appliances/facilities (kitchen/bathroom(s))
  
• probably some obvious others I've overlooked
  

After all that, if the owner hits a rough patch and cannot afford the taxes...

 

It is also important that neighbors are maintaining the surrounding properties.

 

...or, conversely, maybe the property falls in the bullseye of a developer who makes a generous offer for the property as is.

[+ Topseed]

$495 10 years ago. $750 now. Implies a 4.3% annual growth rate.

 

I'll let others opine. I'm only providing the math.

[marylander1940]

@Jarrod_Uncut Have you thought about buying in Detroit, Cleveland, etc. and travel around? In some places you can still get a mortgage for the price of a rent.

[+ WilliamM]

Buying

@Jarrod_Uncut Have you thought about buying in Detroit, Cleveland, etc. and travel around? In some places you can still get a mortgage for the price of a rent.

Only if one is somewhat familiar with the real estate market in those cities, and realizes there is more to homeownership than just paying the monthly mortgage and ulilies

[marylander1940]

Buying

Only if one is somewhat familiar with the real estate market in those cities, and realizes there is more to homeownership than just paying the monthly mortgage and ulilies

 

Must you say the obviously implied?

[+ WilliamM]

Must you say the obviously implied?

It is hardly obvious to a some first time homeowners

 

I worked in pre purchasing and mortgage default and delinquency counseling for the city of Philadelphia for twenty five years

 

And I organized a hotline to battle predator lending

[marylander1940]

It is hardly obvious to a some first time homeowners

 

I worked in pre purchasing and mortgage default and delinquency counseling for the city of Philadelphia for twenty five years

 

And I organized a hotline to battle predator lending

 

@Jarrod_Uncut is smart enough to figure it our, hire a professional, etc.

 

Back to subject 450/750 rent is "livable", most cities have hire rents.

[+ WilliamM]

@Jarrod_Uncut is smart enough to figure it our, hire a professional, etc.

 

Back to subject 450/750 rent is "livable", most cities have hire rents.

Many people who believe they are smart, or other people believe they are smart make fundamental mistakes