A Dilemma...Help, please....

[+ Axiom2001]

In 2008 an acquaintance and I were together on a magnificent tour where we traced the route that the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. used: from Montgomery to Memphis. He and I related well during that time. Afterward, he and I returned to our respective cities. From that point on, he and I would communicate periodically. After a while I lost contact, only to find out two months ago that he'd moved from Oregon to Arkansas and now back to my area.

 

During the latter part of December 2019, I received a wonderful New Year's card from him. He informed me that he was back in the area. On the card, he'd written his current address along with his cell phone number. Unfortunately, I'd misplaced his card and had let two months pass before I was able to contact him. Since then he and I have had some communication but have not rekindled our platonic association. During our last conversation, a few weeks back, he relayed that he could not contact me via my phone number. I found his comment baffling and did not know how to respond. Over the weeks I've been toying with the idea of ringing and asking him if he desired that I did not ring him anymore, or what did he really mean in stating that he could not reach me from the number that I'd given to him. The number that I have and use is my landline: a number I've used for over two+ decades. I don't use my Smartphone; thus no one knows its number.

 

My dilemma is: should I ring him and be very candid? What would you do if you were I?

 

Because of COVID-19, he is not desiring to be around anyone too closely, for he has a compromised immune system. If not for that, I'd invite him to join me for lunch for in-person communication.

 

like him as a person, for when we've been together-- we've gotten along well and have enjoyed each other's company.

[+ WilliamM]

Ask him to lunch in a strictly outdoor setting and maintain social distancing..

 

But, it is a concern that you have not duplicated your original relationship, so perhaps try something less complex.

 

I hope it works. Sounds absolutely worth pursuing

[RealAvalon]

In 2008 an acquaintance and I were together on a magnificent tour where we traced the route that the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. used: from Montgomery to Memphis. He and I related well during that time. Afterward, he and I returned to our respective cities. From that point on, he and I would communicate periodically. After a while I lost contact, only to find out two months ago that he'd moved from Oregon to Arkansas and now back to my area.

 

During the latter part of December 2019, I received a wonderful New Year's card from him. He informed me that he was back in the area. On the card, he'd written his current address along with his cell phone number. Unfortunately, I'd misplaced his card and had let two months pass before I was able to contact him. Since then he and I have had some communication but have not rekindled our platonic association. During our last conversation, a few weeks back, he relayed that he could not contact me via my phone number. I found his comment baffling and did not know how to respond. Over the weeks I've been toying with the idea of ringing and asking him if he desired that I did not ring him anymore, or what did he really mean in stating that he could not reach me from the number that I'd given to him. The number that I have and use is my landline: a number I've used for over two+ decades. I don't use my Smartphone; thus no one knows its number.

 

My dilemma is: should I ring him and be very candid? What would you do if you were I?

 

Because of COVID-19, he is not desiring to be around anyone too closely, for he has a compromised immune system. If not for that, I'd invite him to join me for lunch for in-person communication.

 

like him as a person, for when we've been together-- we've gotten along well and have enjoyed each other's company.

Is he single still? Maybe your number isn't unlisted and it shows up on his caller ID, and there's some sort of problem for him with that? Wild guess.

(Btw "ringing" someone sounds to me very British and quaint, the way that loo, cueing, boot, jumper and crisps also do.)

Edited August 20, 2020 by RealAvalon

[MscleLovr]

Give him a call and meet outdoors for lunch or coffee. You’ve nothing to lose and you may (re)gain a friend.

 

(Re his problem with contacting you, it’s not a dealbreaker. Incidentally I don’t contact anyone on their landline as I message very often and call on my smartphone)

[marylander1940]

@Axiom2001 as posted by others already just meet him outdoors in a park seat 6 feet away at least and enjoy each other's company. Only time will tell what happens next once all of this is over. Give it a shot!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I had this very thing happen to my mother this week. One of her friends had tired to call her and wasn't able to reach Mom, so the friend contacted me to request that Mom call her. Turns our her friend had simply transposed two of the digits in Mom's phone number.

 

Perhaps he tried to call you and the call wouldn't go through or one reason or the other.

[jeezifonly]

About 8-9 years ago I realized that no one in my life but me was using a landline, and though I must keep it for connection to security service, I now use mobile for everything else. I had resisted, but missing out on things made me accept the inevitable. For some people “ringing” includes “texting”. Maybe it’s time to embrace the new. Just learn how to use settings to manage your privacy. I hope you can meet up with him.

[Becket]

Yes. Take him to lunch and explain to him just like you did above. What with all the "new fangled" (thanks Grandpa) communication devices and platforms, there are plenty of ways to have a misunderstanding. Plus, it's worth your effort. Friends are hard to find at our age. Good luck.

[+ azdr0710]

call him up, for god's sake!!.......say hey and, casually, ask him if he had trouble getting your phone because of something at your own end or what......ask if he's up or not up to physically meeting for coffee or lunch.....(based on the info you gave us in your post, I don't think this is a "dilemma")

[Rudynate]

If something like that happens, and I'm curious, I ask.

[nate_sf]

Maybe he tried to text you on the number he had for you and hadn’t understood it’s a landline. He might be thinking “why didn’t he respond to my text?”

[rvwnsd]

Give him a call. He might not have been able to get through to your landline.

[+ Charlie]

I have had people try to text me on my landline number without realizing it doesn't get texts, and I have accidentally written phone numbers down incorrectly that I don't use regularly. It sounds more like a genuine miscommunication rather than a deliberate avoidance. What do you have to lose by asking him to get together?

[+ Axiom2001]

It's 9:30 PDT in California. Shortly, I finished watching and listening to Day 4 of the Democratic convention. My remote is acting up, so I decided against watching anymore television and chose to come here to read. Well, I thank all of you who responded to my question. I think I'll give him a call tomorrow and take it from there.

 

I'm glad that I asked for some guidance.

[BluDay]

The way you have phrased it, is sounds like he's trying to text your landline. Call and ask him if he has been.

[RealAvalon]

It's 9:30 PDT in California. Shortly, I finished watching and listening to Day 4 of the Democratic convention. My remote is acting up, so I decided against watching anymore television and chose to come here to read. Well, I thank all of you who responded to my question. I think I'll give him a call tomorrow and take it from there.

 

I'm glad that I asked for some guidance.

Let us know how it turns out. Good luck.