KensingtonHomo

I assume it's unintentional, but you have portrayed yourself as insecure about your appearance. "Fat", in particular, is a troubling description because it can mean anything from being "gay fat", e.g., not ripped and starving to chubby to morbidly obese. Similarly, there are a ton of hot bald guys running around our community. And being over 60 also doesn't suggest you're unattractive. Yet, your refusal to share a photo (which may reveal you have a handsome face, are just chubby, etc) suggests you believe that most escorts will find you unappealing. That's why you're getting these responses.

I have him blocked on Rent.men. I don't do that without reason so I'm guessing he was a jerk.

It's a microcosm of the larger gay male social milieu, where youth and beauty are seen as more important then wisdom, sexual skill, kindness, etc.

Unless you're someone with no social media presence, there are likely photos of you that can be easily found. If someone is requesting a photo, you have every right to refuse, and they have every right not to meet you. While I maintain that sex work is work and should be decriminalized or legalized, it's not the same as going to the barber or even getting a massage. While some providers may well be trying to monetize their sex lives, I suspect most who ask for a pic are trying to get a sense of the person they'll be meeting. I have a pretty diverse sexual palette but I know some guys would be a nonstarter for me. I also feel like if I send a photo and the person ghosts me (which has yet to happen), I probably dodged a bullet.

This is seriously tacky.

I completely agree that granularity is a turn-off. I completely respect a provider's right to set their price and even have tiers. But But anything beyond sensual (nude includes HE), sensual with oral, and "full service" makes me feel like I'm negotiating. And that makes me move on.

As I read this, you’ve been giving him a big tip. And then after you confirmed the price for this session, you didn’t give him a big tip. So he wrote you the next day saying he wanted a higher fee? Is that right? if that’s the case, I don’t think you should have paid the higher fee, especially since his doing so led to you not wanting to see him again. Was it “go away” money?

If a regular poster reaches out to me for more information, I'm happy to share what I recall. Sometimes I can provide a bit more context about a provider, but i'm always clear that this is my experience. People need to communicate what they're looking for, ensure the provider is open to it, and account for chemistry. Similar to @MikeBiDude, I've had masseurs who we end up fucking, escorts where I didn't feel the chemistry, and so on. When I ask for more details, it's rarely about the sex. I'm more curious about the personality, incall/outcall, price (if they're not putting it out there) and logistics.

When it comes to heat, if you're traveling to a provider, ask if you can shower upon arrival. I did this last week and it was no problem. If you've previously showered, you just need to rinse off the sweat. If they're coming to you, offer them a shower.

Yes, we saw him in Provincetown last summer. He was a lot of fun. Great personality. Sexy AF in person. It was for an escort session, so we didn't experience his massage skills, but he was very eager to please. He's spending the summer in P Town so we plan to see him again.

Maybe it's being a Gen Xer but I've never found OF to be interesting or engaging. I subscribed a couple of times to guys I've hired and every time I was disappointed. The production is often low quality. I have no desire to watch someone jerk off. I'd rather subscribe to an actual porn channel.

This can also be a reward for being a client. We've met guys from Australia (which we'd like to visit) and many other countries. We've also enjoyed meeting local men while traveling. We don't hang out in clubs and bars very much, so if we have a chance to chat with a local provider, it's great.

Where are you seeing this? I've had one or two people providers spring an additional charge or oral but a handy during sensual seems pretty standard.

If there's chemistry or a connection or common interests, I love to chat a bit with a provider. But it has to be a conversation. I don't want to be talked at. I saw ChrisManWest earlier this week and since he's from Barcelona and I love Spain. So the conversation was very natural and I enjoyed hearing more about his life and vice versa.

I had a great experience with Chris. His massage skills are excellent. Chris has strong hands that complement his tall, muscular body. He is kind and very focused on providing a great experience. The sensual aspects were also wonderful. Chris is also an intelligent and engaging man to speak with. I enjoyed our conversation.

This is funny because I'm 5'11" and generally wouldn't date men under 6". My husband is 6'1" but if asked will say he's "6 feet tall." I care less about height when it comes to providers because I'm interested in diversity but as @BenjaminNicholas being the height I am, I can tell immediately if someone is 6" tall or less.

I'm not sure if it's "jumping ship." If you want an environment where dating is easier as a gay man, moving to a city where the culture is less toxic and superficial makes sense. I met my husband before apps and I feel for anyone trying to date now. The culture looks pretty hostile. My single friends of a similar age have similar complaints.

I went to check and realized that, probably because I'm a paid member of Rentmassuer, they do have my phone number. I'm not that worried about it. It's actually an old number that I no longer use.

This is such a manosphere "bro" take, it's hard to respond. Anyway, Evans had several multi-year relationships with women like Jenny Slate. In his case, I suspect that his career prevented him from settling down. I don't think it's a coincidence that it happened once he was done with Marvel.

Only a heterosexual man could believe that a complete lack of a long-term relationship entitles him to a better one. I can guarantee that every straight woman I know would see his history as a HUGE red flag.

I've been with my husband for over 23 years; married for over 10. We met in person; in a bar shortly after 9/11. He was in the towers on 9/11 and narrowly escaped. I lost a cousin who was a firefighter. As this was November 2001, his experience quickly came to the surface. How have we lasted for 23 years and going strong? Mostly, we accept each other - foibles and all. And we have been through a lot together (lost both of our mothers, I had a lot of losses in my family). We've gained and lost friends. Changed jobs. I'll be real with you and say that he is much easier to live with and more easygoing than I am. (I sometimes refer to him as my "long-suffering husband.) The most important thing I can tell you is that chemistry is vitally important. You will either have it with someone or you won't. We have great chemistry. We are yin and yang. He's the quiet to my loud; the soft to my hard; etc. While he's quieter and introverted, he's also very funny in one-on-one conversations. Our chemistry was obvious very early on. And chemistry isn't just sexual. You see friends with great chemistry. Michelle Visage has a career because of her chemistry with Rupaul. We were also monogamous for the first 17 years of our relationship. We ended up figuring out we loved "playing together" by accident on vacation in Spain. We hire primarily for convenience. We're busy. We have specific times in the week when having a lengthy session works well, especially now that we're middle-aged. I have a friend who is 32. He's good-looking, smart, well-read, has great hobbies, and is very active and outgoing. And he's in the same boat as you. My take is that you are not alone. Dating in NYC as a gay man in your 30s who wants an intimate romantic relationship is very hard now. The apps dehumanize people. I find millennials to be far less capable of vulnerability than Gen Xers. Back to chemistry. In a culture obsessed with appearance, it's hard to find chemistry. Chemistry is not based on looks; neither sexual chemistry nor friendship chemistry nor romantic chemistry. If you're screening out people who do not fit your desired physical appearance, you may be screening out many of the people you could have chemistry with. I would encourage you to accept dates or pursue them with guys who are not tall, handsome with huge dicks. Look for similar interests, look at guys who you think look like fun even if they're a 6. I'm nice looking but my husband - a former muscal theater actor - looks like a Disney prince. He's an 8.5-9. I'm probably a 6.5, but I'm funny, passionate, a friend told me I love people in a way that is almost violent. So give some 6s a try! That's my two cents.

I feel you @Wildwood. I'm grossed out by feet, so I ignore them in a profile. But as others have said a foot fetish is common, so providers show them.

I've hired and spoken with guys who are bi or pan, and I'm a chronic overthinker. Ultimately, this is about your experience—that's why you're hiring. So, I want you to focus on what makes you feel sexy. Over the years, I've noticed that good providers match the client's energy. If you're going out, you may want to ask the provider to match what you want to wear. You don't want to be in a cocktail dress and the provider is in sweatpants. However, if you're staying in, you may want to wear lingerie. If makeup, heels and a little perfume make you feel sexy, put them on. I have an ass that most providers love. It's big, round, and has some jiggle over the muscle. So even if we're staying in, my underclothes will be a jock, or lace or something that makes me feel sexy. I might have sweatpants on over it.

Agreed. One of my concerns with those kind of spas is that the guys might be trafficked.

I haven't actually experienced this. I've had regulars who have had an off day, but usually they have a reason.