Jamie21

Strict rule, never contact the client to initiate a meeting. I’ve never done it and never would. It’s intrusive. He’s really trying it on especially by proposing to charge and even more so by then offering a discount! I’d go back and say to him, ‘ok but this time you pay me’ and quote him the amount he charged you. That’s tongue in cheek of course, but it would be fun just to see his reaction. I bet if you did go back, on whatever arrangement, the session wouldn’t be as good because his proposal will have soured things. What a shame he reacted like he did because I guess you’d probably have booked another session sometime.

Yes it’s quite common. Mostly though I think it comes from their inhibitions about gay sex. Those who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to know what they want and ask for it, it’s a straight forward request and booking. However there’s men of all ages who for a variety of reasons are inhibited about their sexuality. These guys tend to ask naive questions. They are strongly conflicted between their desire for man to man action and their self image and identity which is outwardly heterosexual. It tends to result in them seeking out opportunities to explore their gay side in ways that protects their straight identity, hence the ‘playing the client’ role. Eventually their desire overcomes the inhibitions holding them back and they start to actually act on their desires. So I see it as helping these guys to accept that same sex attraction is totally normal, healthy and something to be enjoyed. Massage offers them a safe way to do that….much better than a Grindr hookup.

I’ve been. It’s extremely hedonistic. Anything goes, people we’re having sex openly on the beach and in the sea. You walk around naked or wearing very little, in shops, along the street, in the bars and clubs. You need not take any clothes, unless they’re things like fetish wear. It’s a mixed crowd but I’d say it’s mainly swingers. Interesting place.

Agree, it’s a way guys can take part in hiring but vicariously so as to protect their sense of self.

I’m sad reading all these comments. Massage should always be something that one looks forward to as a special treat. What is it that makes guys hire masseurs who are just seeing you as an ‘easy way of making money’. These masseurs can’t care about their reputation or about getting repeat clients. I’d say there’s clues in their adverts that might indicate there the ‘rub and tug’ type: they’ve not been around long, their pictures are of them topless with 8 pack and muscles, they have bullshit about mystical benefits of massage and sprinkle the word Tantra in their adverts. They’re open to doing the massage on a bed. They want a pic or description of you before they’ll confirm your booking. Those kind of things, especially all of them together, are probably a clue that he’s doing this for a bit of easy cash….because he can.

The next one.

Oh dear this is becoming like Twitter. I avoid expressing any kind of opinion on there because it just degenerates into ad hominem insults. I just post thirst trap pics and videos! Even those attract some strange comments sometimes. I suppose in a forum called ‘ask a provider’ it’s reasonable to assume most of the replies should be from providers. I try to give my provider perspective but I am conscious of trying not to offend potential clients with things I might say. I think on balance though it’s positive to contribute here because a genuinely held opinion put respectfully is likely to be positive for business. I mean if you don’t like my views or position you’re probably not going to be a good client are you? So no loss there. Best you feel an affinity with me because then it’s likely to be a good session. It’s kind of like putting heavily airbrushed (or even worse, faked) pics on your profile to attract clients. When they see the real you they’ll only be disappointed. I like to hear what clients think about the ‘ask a provider’ questions though so I think it’s good for clients to post things on the thread. However the client comments do show that there are some big misunderstandings about what life is like as a provider. I don’t work 2 hours a day and make $100k net a year. It’s at least 3 hours a day…… Before I started doing this work I too had those misunderstandings (and I used to hire) so I can see where they come from. But now having been doing this kind of work for about 5 years I also see the other side. So clients, if a provider says ‘this is how it is from my perspective’ then he’s doing so from a position of greater knowledge than you (even if you’ve been hiring for years) and you shouldn’t say he’s wrong because you haven’t walked in his shoes have you? You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but I know who’s opinion on the job from the provider perspective I will take more note of.

Fresh breath is extremely important! I always use mouthwash before seeing clients, even if it’s not going to involve kissing (I love kissing but some clients don’t want it) there’s times your face is close so it’s important to smell fresh. Some people are naturally clumsy and that goes for kissing too. I agree with @Shawn Monroe that some guys kiss badly, maybe because they’re inexperienced at it. I’ve had clients lunge at me mouth open which is quite disconcerting. Those guys tend to be over excited even from the start so it’s challenging to control the situation. Say we have 90 minutes and 10 minutes into the massage they’re wanting to kiss and are ready to cum. Cool down!! I have a client who was like that every time, he would turn up so aroused and liked to start with a kiss and that got him even more excited. I suggested a way for him to better enjoy the massage. Now he unloads in my mouth at the start, we kiss and share his load, then he’s ready to relax for the massage. It’s a happy starting (he gets a happy end too).

To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous clients, Or to take Arms against a Sea of demands, And by opposing end them: to stop, to kiss No more………. With apologies to Will.

Sensual masseurs (or erotic masseurs) are sex workers - I prefer to use that description than prostitute because I think it carries less baggage - so anyone hiring a sensual masseur is doing the same thing as hiring an escort. You’re hiring to satisfy sexual needs. Ok so it will include massage, which if done correctly (sensual massage) will, and is intended to arouse. It’s a seduction. A masseur will have restrictions on what he or she may do sexually but then escorts will too. So it just comes down to a) what will he do sexually and b) what is his price. Clients should nail both those things down. But let’s be clear we’re not talking about sensual masseurs and escorts being different things, they’re the same thing (sex worker) which only differs by degree. I speak as someone who has done both jobs.

Yes that’s a familiar scenario. Lots of my clients prefer the massage scenario over seeing an escort. They say it’s because of the frisson of uncertainty with a massage, or that they don’t feel ready to see an escort (and because it’s cheaper lol). I think there’s a big overlap between escort and erotic or sensual masseur. Like a line with spa style masseur at one end and full service escort at the other end a sensual masseur is somewhere along that line. But because everyone does things differently you do need to ask him what he is happy to include in the session.

Some masseurs will not want to provide their full service for a first time client. Could be for reasons of confidentiality if providing a sexual service is illegal or just to see what the client is like, and for the client to be comfortable with the masseur. This is a two way thing. So at the first visit it’s a ‘standard’ service and then extra things can be introduced at later appointments. I say to clients after their first session ‘if you enjoyed it and want to come back you’re welcome to tell me what you liked and what wasn’t so good and what you’d like differently next time’. Then they feel comfortable to ask when booking a subsequent session. I think having a sensual massage is very intimate and personal so you have to feel comfortable and trust your masseur before you can relax and allow him to go further.

That’s an unfortunate exchange. I suggest be specific on date and time and location. As in ‘I’d like to book 90mins at 3pm tomorrow, at yours’. The best clients have already made up their mind to hire and know what they want, so long exchanges are avoided. Questions like ‘what’s your availability?’ are irritating because the best answer is ‘it depends’ and that reply, although tempting, isn’t likely to be endearing. You tell me what you’re wanting and I’ll do my best to comply or provide an alternative. And please see the website or profile for any answers before asking questions. We can go from there….

That’s something I do. There’s a reason for why I sometimes do it. Allow me to explain. If you’re jerking him off and it’s not working, maybe he’s not fully hard or something, then it could be down to your technique. I’ve jerked off hundreds of guys (probably into 4 figures lol) and it’s surprising how many different techniques there are. Not just technique on his cock but also whether he likes his balls held, his hole stroked etc to get him going. So if I’ve tried a few things and none of them are working (which is unusual but it does happen), and maybe time is pressing, then I say to him “show me how you wank, I love watching”. Most guys will take you up and quickly go to their favourite technique. I let him do it a bit, observe the technique…is he a fast or slow guy? is it more head or shaft? does his spare hand go to a nipple? Then I intervene again and take over for him, copying his style. Now I know exactly what to do to get him to that ‘almost there’ point and I can mix things up and go to his preferred technique when needed. It’s kind of sneaky but it’s one of the things you learn through experience. And of course it’s better than saying “oh fuck this you do it while I make myself a cup of tea” isn’t it?

Seems expensive as a basic service. It’s not erotic but includes an ending? That sounds like a massage with a 2 minute jerk off at the end. Ok it’s a release but I think would leave you feeling unfulfilled at $200 for an hour. The massage better be more than ‘nice’! That’s my perspective as a masseur anyway. I find it difficult to give a happy ending without making it erotic. It’s kind of impossible to jerk a guy off without engaging erotically as a masseur…whether that’s stroking his balls, nibbling a nipple or offering verbal encouragement. I think the masseurs who do perfunctory happy endings are probably straight and are just not into it, so they get it over and done with as quickly as possible.

Ha ha infamy …😈

I appear in a lot of those movies 🙂

It’s totally legal here (UK) except that you can’t work in a brothel, nor solicit on the street. I agree, I don’t anticipate any change in that anytime soon.

Yes, there are some clients who when they book I think ‘oh 😐’. The reasons are always to do with how they behave not what they look like. Things like being late, asking for discounts, that kind of thing. Of course if they’re a complete asshole then I just don’t take another booking from them (it’s rare fortunately). I have a client who likes an outcall to his apartment, but it’s very messy and cluttered. That annoys me. I don’t mind the client, he’s nice and friendly, but I really am not comfortable in his apartment. It’s not a good environment for a relaxing massage. There’s hardly space to move around my table, and when we move to his bed I usually have to remove a pile of washing and the cat…(It isn’t even his cat, it just seems to drop by). I have resorted to taking extra towels that I can use to lay on the bed before we do anything on there. Oh and his shower has low water pressure, it’s like showering under a dripping tap.

Attitudes here (London) are generally quite liberal. It’s not unlawful to do sex work (with some caveats). Yes there are bad clients out there: I get regular emails from an organisation called National Ugly Mugs (I don’t understand the name…so don’t ask!) warning me of potential dangerous clients. Sadly it seems they mostly target females. It must be so difficult for female sex workers. I feel for them. Off topic (sorry!) but I love @Jarrod_Uncut description “relaxation consultant” 🙂

I use dayuse. It’s a good app. You can get some fantastic hotels. I’ve mainly used it for filming, to provide nice backgrounds for porn shoots. You can also dress the room somewhat to make it look different, and use lighting imaginatively. However, one problem exists. On a couple of occasions I’ve been in the middle of a shoot; I’m naked, so is the guy I’m filming with, there’s a massage table up, lighting set up and cameras around the room. I’m covered in oil, there’s probably lube and other…ahem ‘fluids’ on me or my model….and then we get a knock at the door. I put the safety latch on and open the door a crack, whilst standing behind so I can’t be seen naked. “You need to check out, I’m here to clean” says the maid. “No, I have the room booked, it’s day use” I reply. “Oh ok” says the maid, and they leave us alone. Unfortunately the interruption has messed up the shoot, distracted us and so we have to get back into the scene. It’s very annoying that the hotels seem to forget to tell the housekeeping staff.

Yes, those clients get immediate attention. They’ve done their research, made plans (in advance) and made a decision. I do my best to accommodate them. It’s quite rare to get enquiries like that unfortunately!

This is not unusual I find. Older guys (I’m talking 45 +) find an attraction to other guys of similar age. It’s less to do with physical attraction (although that’s still important and relevant) but what comes into play for guys at age 45+ is a kind of companionship. They appreciate holding hands, cuddling, intimate touch etc. all things that can feature in a sensual massage. There isn’t a compulsion or pressure to have sex although there’s usually a happy ending for the client. I think it’s because more mature guys are no longer feeling a need to compete with other guys and they realise that cooperation is mutually beneficial which drives the feelings for intimacy with guys of a similar age.

There is a site where masseurs/escorts post info but the intelligence on clients is only about time wasters such as those who no show or try it on with payment. The other information is things like advice on advertising, room hire, health etc. It’s a UK site so is mostly relevant to Uk sex workers. It’s not as busy as this site is although there is a similarity in that it uses the same forums layout and style, must be same software.

Yeah I don’t travel. There’s enough clients in my city. Plus the logistics of travel is too challenging. I think the pandemic has shaken up the market, lots of people left, others have joined, many clients stopped hiring and got out of the habit. Things will settle down again to a new equilibrium.