Njguy2

Nothing, i repeat, nothing is 100% effective against STDs. The safest sex is no sex.  
Mitigate your risk as much as you want, but fuck...  Just get out there and have some great sex.

When you cross-borders on a frequent basis, you learn every trick to avoid detection, including how to immediately lock your iPhone in a way that it demands a password (not FaceID).
You also travel with electronics that don't have sensitive info on them or if they do, it's encrypted. 
I travel internationally a lot and have never had an issue.  
A lot of guys who get nailed by a CBP don't exactly work to 'blend in' when transiting into another country.  

Can't help but reply with the provider perspective here.  I feel like the provider/client relationship is meant to be the great equalizer.  It's the job of any provider- once you're in a room alone together - to make you feel like a king.  For the entirety of your time together.  Regardless of what the outside world my say about who is in whose league.  If you ask me, that's the entire point of an escort situation: for two men to be able to set aside their outside world expectations and walk a different path together. 
I find it to be one of the most freeing aspects of this kind of work.  Our culture - especially gay culture - imposes a lot of false assumptions on us.  Who has value to offer sexually.  Who should be fucking who.  An escort/client relationship - at its best - has been the most freeing way I've found to step outside of that and enjoy a connection with all types of men. 
If you walk away from an experience with a provider still feeling like he's out of your league, I'd say that provider has failed you. 

What's stopping you? 
Where do you live? How competitive is the market there? Will you openly display face pics? 
Do you realize that MOST clients won't be attractive or in shape? Can you make love to someone who is a Midwest 4 and an LA 1? 

First, I want to thank @Charlie for bringing up a difficult topic that most of us would just rather avoid. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the results of ignoring this topic. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end pretty. Planning and open honest discussions are everything. 
For context, I have an older brother…useless. Two nephews….both very kind, both very useless. 
The best advice I can give is to work closely with an estate planner to ensure you have the resources available to provide care for yourself. As always talking with your accountant and lawyer about these things is a good idea. They’ve seen hundreds of scenarios (the good, the bad, and the ugly) play out over their careers. Listen to them, even if what they’re telling you sounds harsh and/or unpleasant. They know what works, and what doesn’t work.
Also, make sure everyone around you knows your exit plan. It’s different for all of us. So far, knowing I have an escape hatch, has brought me great calm and helped me survive life’s inevitable rough spots. As they say in disaster planning: during a disaster, nothing will go the way you planned, but at least you had a plan
Finally, go out of your way to engage with people younger than you. Yes, this can be incredibly difficult. You will have to endure listening to them talk about things that you find banal and/or that to which you can’t even remotely relate. You will worry about your relationship being a "burden" on them. They will have to endure listening to you bitch about how much you hate getting older (hint: don’t do it. No one cares and they will start avoiding you if you do.). Be exceedingly kind, generous, and patient with them. In other words, be the friend you want to have. Nothing more, nothing less. At first it may feel strained or artificial. Do it anyways. Bonds develop over time. Most of us sell ourselves short on what we bring to the table for a younger generation. The friends I have watched "grow old gracefully" were the ones who mastered this step most of all. 
On a funny note, the other day I was musing out loud about this topic with my trainer. He unexpectedly piped in with “don’t worry about it bro, that’s what you have me for". I shot back with "I’m talking about the hard part, like having someone to wipe my ass, not someone to count to ten at my bedside". His response?…"the only hard part is going to be keeping you from grabbing my ass while I’m wiping yours." We both had a good laugh and got back to the work out. He’s not my Plan A, but it’s nice to know he wants to be there. 

Sounds like you do!  I’m avoiding 5 or 6 per day because well, I don’t get that many clients asking in the first place! …but even if I did I wouldn’t book that many. The physical stamina aspect is part of the reason although I swim and run distances so I probably have that kind of stamina for it but it’s the mental and emotional energy that I need to be aware of. 
I try to get into a state of flow when massaging, so that I’m doing it without consciously thinking. It’s difficult to do that and I don’t always succeed. However when fully in that state I’m acutely aware of the person I’m massaging: I can hear their breathing, feel their heartbeat, feel their temperature changes, see the slightest change in how they react to touch on different parts of their body. I think it makes for a much more intense experience for the client.
On the surface of it I’m just working their muscles in a normal massage way but that’s only a small part of it. At the deeper level I’m working their whole body including their mind. If I’m in a proper state of flow then it’s as if we are not two bodies any more, we are one body and I feel what they feel, and I can sense what their state of mind is. The energy that takes is massive.
I think this kind of massage is more of an eastern philosophy of massage than the western one. If I tried to do more than 3 a day I’d not be able to do my style of massage. 

I’d never do 6 massages in a day. That’s too tough for me! Regardless of ejaculating…
The most I do is 3 a day and I’d spread out the third one. It’s mentally and physically draining to me to do more than 3 in a day. Despite what sounds like an escort type session (yes I am happy to cum, I include oral and rim for example) I do make sure I give a proper massage, not an ‘escort style’ rub using baby oil!
 
Doing a full massage with attention to the energy of the client, not just working their muscles but working their whole self, mind and body, is draining. By the third massage I’m done. I don’t want to risk giving clients a bad experience or getting injured so I stop at 3. 

Sorry for the cold shower on your hot fantasy, guys. I’m just trying to inject some realism into this discussion so you can develop appropriate expectations and also delight in the unexpected when it happens. Value your providers and pay them accordingly.
Please keep in mind we are not cum machines. I completely understand the client fantasy of a massage scenario morphing into a porn set. That scenario assumes your appointment is the only thing on your masseur’s agenda for the day. However, it’s just that: a fantasy.
I can’t deliver cum for a massage fee for every client that darkens my door. Some days that means I would have to get hard and ejaculate six times back to back. Never mind the fact that I may have a legit escort client I have to perform for on that same day. I just can’t do it consistently and still maintain quality or sufficiently pace myself.
If you want your masseur to cum as part of your massage session, please ask for it and pay his escort rate, or at the very least, tip very generously when you fail to discuss an appropriate fee prior to starting the session and he does it for you anyway. If your guy is already way overcharging for massage (like, $200+/hr), it’s safe to assume these services are already baked into the cost and I wouldn’t worry about it.
$160/hr or less I would assume nothing more than massage, and enjoy the possibility of some extras if he does them. Happy endings are very common and normal, but not guaranteed. Do not expect full service, oral, or your masseur to cum for you. Some guys might do these things for their regular massage fee, but please respect masseurs with boundaries around what they will do for their standard massage fee. Boundaries vary. Clients are not entitled to anything they didn’t already discuss with their masseur.
I want my clients to understand the value of each of the services they hire and pay accordingly. Massage (even erotic massage) is NOT discount sex work. Blowing loads all over clients with no discussion of rates beforehand is, in my mind, asking the client to expect discount escort services.
We can debate at length about what is and isn’t sex work and many other threads already hash it out. IMHO, having to deliver cum - in one way or another - is well within the sex work category. Others can charge whatever they want for it. If your guy can consistently cum for you for a massage fee, enjoy the discount service, but please do not place the same expectations on other masseurs.
I can do six massages a day. I can’t possibly take six escort clients a day. So I charge higher for escort service and lower for massage. Scarcity over a given time period is among the many reasons I charge the way I do.

I was talking in a different post about the holidays and as a provider to take a little time to communicate and act as a “sounding board” to those clients that feel inclined to talk about the season and some of their own challenges.                                                    
 
I was absolutely inspired several years ago by a friend of mine who works for a local law firm.  He takes time to work in a homeless soup kitchen on Thanksgiving.  He preps food and serves on Thanksgiving morning and helps 2 or 3 other times per year in the similar way.  He has talked about the importance of giving, not just now, but throughout the year.    I don’t do that, but I do always lend a hand and an imitation for a friend or two for both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  They are alone and would probably sit at home on these holidays.  One of them doesn’t drive and either my boyfriend or I pick him up and take him home.   Our day is richer by spending time with them.   Last weekend (in the photo), We took a mutual friend out for her 69th birthday.  She’s like a mother to my bf and really had a great time with dinner and cake after.                    
 
 Even the small things can make a big difference during the holidays.  Hope you have a great season!

I don’t know if it’s an option for you, but I’ve had more luck developing clos(er) contact with providers I’ve met outside of RM, through this forum, and by word of mouth. Many of the guys on RM are in the biz short-term, out to make a quick buck; or if that wasn’t their intention at first, they tend to burn out and fall by the wayside soon enough. But there is a small-ish community of providers who actively seek clients for clos(er) longterm hiring arrangements, and who value and cultivate friendships among their regulars. Most of them are not on RM, and either do not advertise at all any longer, or don’t depend on it for new clients. Vin Marco is one such provider, Apollo Phoenix is another, Tristan Baldwin is yet another — none of them based in your part of the country, unfortunately, and Apollo does not travel. But I’m sure there are others. One word of advice, though: a friendship with one of these guys is like any other friendship, based on common interests, and mutual trust and respect. But you should never lose sight of the fact that there is a transactional aspect to this relationship, no matter how close it grows, and you ignore it at your peril. The mutual liking may be genuine, but don’t assume that you are the guy’s best friend, or his only friend; and for your own sake, try not to invest your emotions too heavily. My friendships with providers are like my friendship with my trainer — I love the guy, we socialize, we share lots of stuff having nothing to do with the gym; but if I stopped seeing him professionally I wouldn’t expect necessarily that the friendship would carry on at quite the same level.

I bet it comes with a different charger to my iPhone, and my iPad, and my iMac 🙄

Every escort when starting out needs to watch the 1992 film Glengarry Glen Ross.  Learn it.  Be able to quote it.
This business is, in essence, a sales job of building relationships.  It can be a very successful career for those who are closers.  
It's also a job for guys who can both quickly read and then deliver what clients want.
This can mean many things, many of which have ZERO to do with sex.

I don’t think you’re in the minority. I agree with you, and I think most providers would. I don’t care what my clients look like. Sometimes someone is really fat and that presents logistical problems but it doesn’t mean he isn’t deserving of having fun. Some of my clients are disabled and I know they’ve told me some guys turned them down which I find really sad. It’s their loss because those clients are some of my best. 

I agree.

To clarify, it’s ok to have boundaries. We shouldn’t be doormats. When a client flakes, I don’t book them again. At the same time, I have no need to spend emotional energy going out of my way to make them feel bad for flaking. If it helps you emotionally to vent, by all means, call them out. They don’t care though, and calling them out won’t change their behavior. Some clients are shitty, and will be shitty no matter what.
You mention your website and deposits and such. Great. I have policies and ways of doing business too, and it does cut down on a lot of nonsense. Even when we have policies in place to weed out some of the worst offenders, we can’t possibly prevent them all. I accept that fact and move on. To dwell on clients being shitty is a “me” problem.
I can’t force clients to change their behavior.

You can ask for it, you can set yourself up in expectation of it, you can respond appropriately when you don’t get it, all this I agree with and do myself, but I think you can’t command it. That’s like standing at the sea shore and commanding the tide to turn, and being frustrated when it doesn’t.
I argue that it’s best to accept that some people will be flaky etc and despite all your efforts they’ll still be like that and they’ll still try it on with you. It’s futile to expect everyone to change. This is human nature, alongside the good there’s the bad. The good cannot exist without the bad. So I reconcile myself to it because it’s essential for one’s well being in this business. 

Have you considered sending him a singing telegram? 

They’re probably getting enough business by just being available. No need to do much in the way of customer service. You can assume that if that’s their attitude to the enquiry process their attitude to the massage will be equally diffident. If that’s the case you saved yourself some money and time. Hire guys who answer your questions and who have a professional advert that provides the necessary information. 

At least you know whee you stand. 
Consider if fortuitous and move forward. 

The answer is "it depends on the provider". The vast majority have more explicit pics of the types you describe, but not 100%. I have seen several lately whose locked pics are of their massage table or the space they work in. And others have more pics that are no more explicit than their public pics. So the fact that a provider has private pics doesn't automatically mean HE and MT.

When this happens (not often) it’s usually an honest mistake. I contact the client and tell them how much they shorted, and offer an alternative method to make up the difference. I don’t demand a tip, just what they agreed to pay based on my advertised rates. Sometimes the client comes back shortly after to settle up, or they use a digital payment method. It happens. We’re all human.
Kudos to you @questbear for going way out of your way to make it right. Respect. Most clients would give up and not care.
This is also an example for masseurs and other providers to not make assumptions and to not give up on their clients without first trying to make some sort of effort. That block button is so easy to push, but sometimes a small amount of communication can recover some lost income, and more importantly, foster a good ongoing client relationship.

I agree. It’s shitty, but the world won’t change for us. You either adapt and learn to not let it bother you, or you resolve to be eternally frustrated.

It’s a common misunderstanding. If you see a guy calling himself a masseuse then he’s probably not very good. Don’t hire. 
 

Maybe some do, probably most don’t. I still think they’re just enquiries until the moment they’re in front of you. What goes on in their mind and in their world is nothing you can control. All you can do is control how you think about it. 

I think maybe you’re investing too much hope in what are mostly just enquiries? I get lots of people asking about availability etc, even guys who book but then change their minds on the day. It’s annoying but normal for people to simply go quiet when I reply with rates or availability.
Therefore I simply don’t build up any expectations of a booking or even of a client actually turning up until I open the door to them in person. Anything before them standing in front of me is just a ‘maybe’. and my expectations are zero. Of all the enquiries I get only around 50% turn into a real session. The other 50% are window shoppers, the perennial undecided, the hopelessly disorganised and the ones who get off on the thought of a session but who can’t cope with the reality. I think this is the milk that one has to accept if one wants the cream. So I accept the milk and enjoy the cream. 

All well and good, and I agree calls are great for seeing if there’s going to be a good connection, but if your man isn’t expecting your call and doesn’t pick up from an unknown contact on the first ring, would you pass him by?
Let’s say he’s at, say, the gym where he can’t openly talk about explicit sexual details and rates for his services. Would you blame him for not picking up at that moment?
More likely he’s with another client when you dial and he can’t pause a session to take a random call. Can you imagine if he did that with you during your session? I would be pissed.
Same goes for when he is having a face to face conversation with someone. Maybe it’s late and he’s already asleep, or at his doctor’s office, or driving, or anywhere else that it would be inappropriate, unsafe, or rude to answer a call.
What expectations do you have of a provider to answer your call? Anytime, anywhere, without notice? Or would you be ok asking ahead to schedule a time to call? Would an initial contact by email/messenger/texting be a total dealbreaker for you?