Njguy2

Well I finished it this week after putting it down for several months.  The ending was a twist but somewhat predictable, and glad I skim read the remaining pages.  I enjoyed the character's travels but the writing put me to sleep at certain points.  Glad others enjoyed it.

@BeefyDude personally I have no problem talking on the phone, but I have my reasons for not picking up the phone for every Tom, Dick, and Harry that dials my number. Some of those reasons I’m sure I share with many other masseurs and escorts.
Only after the client requests a call via text or through a messaging system, I will accept a call. Even then, I have to add the client as a contact before the call will ring through because I silence calls from all non-contacts. I see the missed call but my phone does not ring or buzz when they dial, until I add them as a contact. I do this for many reasons:
1) Avoids disturbing my current client. Who wants their masseur’s phone in the room to be buzzing or ringing non-stop?
2) I’m not always alone, available, and in a private place ready to talk.
3) Often clients try getting a free phone sex experience from me under the guise of “just asking questions”.
4) Many questions clients ask are already answered on my ads. Unless the client is asking questions that a phone call addresses better than the ad, I don’t see the point. In fact, it’s a red flag that this client isn’t one I want to see anyway. Some questions are good, it just depends if they want me to basically recite the ad for them or if they actually have substantive questions.
5) Telemarketers and scams are abundant. I have no time or patience for them. People still call my number trying to contact whoever was using the same number many years ago. I ignore those.
6) Mr Number and other sources are a clue. If the number has a lot of negative reports, I’m less inclined to be generous with my time for the client.
As I already acknowledged, a lot of immature providers post unfair comments. There’s nothing wrong with asking questions and if you decide not to book, that’s no reason for the provider to leave a negative comment. Therefore, I take it all with a grain of salt.
When the comments are consistent, specific, and warranted, I pay more attention. For example, consistent pattern of no-shows. Not general, vague things like “time waster”, or “stupid guy” or things like that. For some, a time waster is simply a client asking a few questions and then doesn’t book. I don’t consider that a time waster. I would if they tried to have phone sex with me or sext with me after I tell them my boundaries for unpaid calls.

Best option is to ask for what you want: fun, dinner, movie, more fun etc from x time to y time and ask his rate. He’ll give you an all in rate, he won’t break it down by segment. If the cost is too high for you then shorten the session. 

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Demand and supply. Nothing to do with what you think you’re worth or need. The market decides the rate. You and your clients decide whether or not you’re participating in that market. Nothing else is relevant. 

My suggestion: tip generously.
Enjoy his service.
Leave the rest for him to figure out on his own.

Or simply turn off "My Visibility" on the dashboard

I’ve done foursomes for clients. All three of us providers are very professional and understand that it’s not paid playtime for us, although the client gets off on watching us perform live for him. It helps that none of us are in a relationship with one another. It keeps business strictly business.
We make the client the focus. We all grope him from three sides like a big group hug, and kiss, stroke, lick, and stimulate his whole body, frequently switching positions, roles, and activities. We involve all of us in any given moment, and of course the client is in the middle of all the action and calling all the shots when he feels like calling them. The rest is intuition and knowing what the client likes doing and being done to him and what he likes to see others doing, and we all lean into those things.
Another plus is taking advantage of all our individual strengths and talents and combining them. Yes, we may look a bit different from one another, one older, one younger, and me in the middle, but the beauty of it is diversity. The client gets off on the whole buffet, not just favoring and being distracted by the “hottest”, or youngest, or most hung, etc. The result feels more like 1+1+1 = 6. You could hire us all individually and enjoy all of the separate meetings (and this particular client has), but together it’s a massive, explosive experience. Worth trying at least once in your life.
Meetings like this I consider successful. If you’ve ever wanted multiple providers before but have concerns like those already mentioned in this thread, the key is to hire the right providers.  Professional men who ‘get it’, and ideally know one another, get along well, and have worked together before in a similar capacity. If they don’t know one another prior, they should at least have experience with similar arrangements.
When the client is spent (after a very long time of buildup), he likes to watch us continue and will still touch us and find pleasure in what we’re doing. It’s 100% about the client’s pleasure. The second he shows any wavering of interest we either stop or change to a different activity.
We providers can hook up with one another on our own time, if we wanted to, although we don’t. It’s not about us feeling good or getting off. It’s about client satisfaction. For us, it’s business. We’re really good at our jobs and we want to get paid fairly for doing it. And we do. Win-win-win-win!
I play well with others. As it goes, I tend to be the ‘madam’, organizing these types of meets. To be clear, this isn’t trafficking. It’s independent guys choosing freely to work together for an agreed-upon fee. Basically informally arranged contract work.
If booking multiple providers interests you, I highly recommend booking these things with at least a few days notice, or more if possible. Getting schedules to align and coordinating things takes time. Sometimes it all works out with little notice. More often, it’s not possible to arrange something on short notice.
If you’re in my area or if I am traveling to yours, hire me! If I haven’t worked with someone before, I am willing to arrange a consultation with the other guy(s) you want, to see if it would be a good match and go from there.

My Brownie Instamatic is loaded, and, I am available at your convenience. 

Escorts and masseurs can and so find love. Their journey can be more difficult because they face negative perception etc from large parts of our society that frown on those that provide bodywork and sex work. If you feel a spark and want to persue this, you should be ready for that. But love is love. Like all relationships you should set firm boundaries, communicate well and build trust. Life is short - dont let an opportunity to find happiness pass you by. 

Hi guys! I wanted to share a very unique experience I had with a masseur who was visiting my city a few days ago (it ended up being more of an escort session thus I posted in Deli). Here I would like to mention that I have hired more than 40 escorts/masseurs over the last 3 years so I am not new to this.
I live in a relatively small city with very few options available. In general I prefer to hire escorts but occasionally I hire masseurs too (based on my experience some advertise as masseurs but they are open to more if you pay extra or if they are attracted to you). Anyways, a few days ago a very hot muscular masseur was visiting my city and texted him to book an appointment. I told him I am interested in erotic massage and asked him what it entails and his limitations. He made it clear that he is not an escort and only provides massage, both nude with mutual touch but nothing more. I respected his limitations and met with him. When he opened the door he seemed quite surprised and he was very enthusiastic. Here to mention that i am in my early 30s, quite attractive guy. We started chatting and we had a great conversation etc. We ended up spending 40 min talking before starting our actual session. He told me that I was his last appointment for the day and could stay longer without extra charge which was nice. I don't want to go into details but the massage ended up being a full escort-type encounter. We were both extremely passionate and to be honest it was one of the most beautiful encounters I have ever had in my life. We ended up spending 4hrs together (we ate, took a shower together, chatted more). Before I left he told me that he would like to see me again the following day before he leaves to his next destination. I paid for 1hr (I asked him if he wants more since I stayed way longer but he refused and told me I don't have to pay him but I insisted to pay for the 1hr at least). Moving forward we met again the next day. He made it clear in our communication that he doesn't want to see me as a client anymore which I agreed. He was super attentive, took me out for dinner, paid for it, and then we had another wonderful time together. Ended up spending almost 5 hrs together before I went back home. He left the following day but we are still communicating daily, He gave me his personal phone and real name. During our time he told me he has never done that before, and he said I was the most passionate lover he has ever had and the type of a guy he is attracted to (not sure if he is lying or not but he said that). He invited me to visit his home or  go for vacation together to get to know each other more. 
I have never experienced anything like that before and I am wondering if anyone has had or heard of a similar experience. I really like him and would love to spend more time with him but in the meantime I am wondering if this is a good idea or not. In part due to his profession and also due to our distance (i am in the south he lives northeast). Any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated!

I hope that you receive this in the spirit in which it is intended. I retired from being an escort in 2014. I retired from it young. I'm also Black, so you might appreciate my perspective in a different way, but maybe not. Here are 9 actionable things that you can do to help make your life better in my opinion:
 
1) Think about if you want to stay in the business, and for how long.  Think about whether the pros of the business outweigh the cons for you.
 
2) Move! If you want to stay in the business, you'll need to move to a different city and quickly! You mentioned that you wanted to take care of some things before moving, but you might find it easier to take care of those things if you move first.  If you have the means to move, make it a firm goal to do it within the next 30-60 days. 
 
3) Be very selective about where you move to. I did not experience nearly the level of grief that you are experiencing and there are many reasons why I think that is, but I think a lot of it has to do with where I lived and operated the business. 
 
4) Screen out flakes as best as you can. There are things you can do to limit the amount of time wasted with flakes. Be sure to control the conversation and guide them to the details of the appointment as soon as possible.  If they are dragging it out, that is a red flag. Move on! 
 
5) Don't engage with people who flake or cancel at the last moment. They are not paying you at that point, so cut off the contact; otherwise, you are donating your time, and engaging will only aggravate you more. If someone flakes, put them on your "do not book" list, and move on quickly! When they contact you again, (and they likely will), do not give them the time of day.
 
6) Have at least one other source of income. This isn't something specific to just you, but I think everyone should have multiple sources of income. You are less likely to tolerate nonsense from clients when you know you aren't relying on them for your bread and butter.  Having more than one source of income is empowering and good for your overall well-being.
 
7) Therapy. You mentioned having gone to a counselor. Make sure you are working with someone who is giving you actionable steps to help you deal with your responses to frustrations, feedback, and helping with develop a plan for a fulfilling life. Sometimes when people give you very sound feedback on this forum, I sense a sharp defensiveness from you. Defensiveness can be a natural response to protect oneself, but if it is unwarranted defensiveness it can indicate underlying emotional issues. I'm not saying you have emotional issues, but a good therapist can help figure that out. 
 
8 Have an exit plan. I have a handsome face, smooth skin, a nice smile, a 9 inch dick, and a round bottom. I made a lot of money, put it in the stock market, and got out.
 
9) Make sure you are doing activities and pursuing interests that you are passionate about and find joy in.
Okay, that's all I have to offer. I hope it helps.

Very good advice.  I understand his frustrations, but he keeps doing the same thing with these loser prospects and expecting a different result.  Time wasters are time wasters.  Cheap bastards are cheap bastards. You need to use screening questions to identify them and get rid of them.   My favorites, in my business, are the ones who ask,"Why does it cost so much?"  I used to reason with them like Jarrod does, but a long time ago I realized I don't owe them an explanation and learned to anwer them "Because it does.  Anything else?" And then get off the phone.

It seems from the shots of texts and conversations you have had with disappointing clients and potential clients, that you spend a lot of energy trying to explain your point of view/rationale to them.  That is an added investment of your time and concentration to those people who are not bringing any benefit to you.  I appreciate that you attempt to reason with prospective clients, but in all honesty, some people are simply unreasonable and will drain you emotionally.  When contacted by people who try to bargain, for example, maybe it is best to simply say "it looks like we would not be a good match, and I wish you well" in order to draw things to a quick close? 
I think it's beneficial to be the driver of your own bus, so to speak, and not let a potential passenger take the wheel from you.  By spending all that time trying to reason with the unreasonable, it might give a bad potential client the idea that you are willing to compromise, and in effect, you are letting them have unnecessary control over what should be your own domain.

True Words….
However, minorities (specifically blacks) get shit treatment in just about every industry. I know from experience, and managed to come out on top every time. 
 
The key to succeeding in any business when you are black is to understand that you’re going to have people who will attempt at many forms of ill will towards you, but strategizing to navigate through it.  And note, this dynamic of disrespect and disregard includes other black people and other minorities as well (we get crap from just about all groups).  In Jerrod’s case, all of his clients can be problematic. The problem with Jerrod is that he has failed to understand human nature, the bias that comes with human nature, and he has not properly adjusted his expectations of people with the realities of people. Then the poor guy always winds up disappointment, and frustrated. 
I want to personally gift him the full collection of Robert Greene books (with a focus on “The Laws of Human Nature”) and just reprogram his thinking. 
The world (and the people in it) with never change. Black people who understand this, are the ones who succeed, in any business. 
 
 
 

Some members write you off as a chronic complainer but I do genuinely want to see you to grow and succeed. We sympathize with you, especially other providers. I would love to see a positive post from you one day celebrating how much work you’ve got over the past 12 months explaining how making some key changes, and maybe even a move, has helped you succeed. 
A lot of clients are inconsiderate jerks and wishy washy, but that’s how the industry works. It can be better in some places compared to others, but we will always have flakes and time wasting behavior to deal with. People will lowball us, question our rates and policies. It’s human nature, and there’s no changing it. Add to that the racism component and it’s even worse. You have more years of experience than I, so you know these things even better than I do. That’s what puzzles me about the repeated posts about clients…being clients.
What we can do to cope and improve is focus on the things we can control. We don’t have to explain or justify our policies. We don’t have to get mad at the client for disagreeing with our boundaries. We don’t have to convince the client we are right or fair. We don’t have to change the client’s mind about anything. They either conform to our policies and rates for the services they want, or they don’t. When they don’t, move on.
I agree with the other comments; it’s best not to engage clients demonstrating a lack of respect for you and your work and how you choose to do business. Establish your boundaries and policies and stick to them, even if it means losing some work. That’s time saved not dealing with bad clients. When there are not enough good clients in your market, move to another one. If you can’t do that, maybe pick up some other work temporarily to help you save up for a move.
We have different views on deposits, but you have your reasons. Whatever your policies, the key is to not make exceptions to them. When you do (infrequently, for some compelling reason), make it clear to the client what it is and why you are making the exception so they don’t have the impression they can expect the same thing every time.
You might consider keeping your rates the same regardless of frequency so people don’t have any illusions about being entitled to a “regular client” rate when they only book you months or years apart. Or establish a hard line policy like they have to book you at least once per week/month/quarter or whatever so they know why they aren’t entitled.
A hot tip about that client 50 mins away: People need firm time commitments otherwise they sit and stew in impatience and uncertainty. Every minute that goes by, the more they think that you aren’t coming, or will come way later than they want or expect you to. The uncertainty is what kills them. When you commit to a time you know you can make “I will arrive by 5pm and text you when I park”. That gives the client the freedom to relax and anticipate your arrival and do other things in the meantime other than worry and second guess.

I haven't seen these ads, I guess I'm not in their target market.  🤷‍♂️
"Javi", if that's his real name, is reasonably handsome.  I rate him at 5 milliHelens.
(1 milliHelen is the beauty/handsomeness required to launch 1 ship)

On tour, I might consistently do 6 a day. In my home city, more like 2-4 per day. Sometimes zero, sometimes 6. It varies a lot. 4 on average after a year or two of building up a more consistent client base. I don’t even want to try cities in the Midwest heartland areas. If it’s as bad as your experiences tend to be on a regular basis, I wouldn’t want to go try scouting there.
Low ballers: thank you, next. Politely hold to my rates and move on. I don’t attempt to engage.
Flakes: unavoidable, just part of the biz. I focus on filling my schedule with as many regulars and repeats as possible so there is less time for bad actor newbies to potentially waste my time by filling up my schedule then not showing. Some communicate regarding a true emergency and will reschedule. Some are jerks and I maintain a one strike policy for those types.
A4A: I’ve had some success using it. A lot less than the usual places, but plenty of clients find my pro ad and contact me. Very few try to waste my time asking for freebies or hookups because the ad is clearly labeled “pro” and the content is descriptive enough. A good chunck of A4A inquiries are serious. Lots of requests for rates, but only some of those book. Just how it goes.
Uncooperative clients: I set boundaries and say I need to know by x time if you’re committed to y appointment and whatever we discussed. I’m available from a to b. I will be busy from c to d, but I will get back to you asap if you catch me when I am working. When they don’t respond, won’t commit or whatever, I move on. No waiting around for those who won’t respect me or my time.
Late night, last minute requests: I reject them, state my open hours and tell them my new late night policy, which is they must book 24 hrs in advance if they want an early or late appointment outside my normal hours. On tour, I might relax this policy somewhat.
I keep growing a thicker skin every day. Instead of complaining and lamenting, I move on to the next thing, work related or otherwise. I lack the emotional energy to care as much as I used to. Yes, I get frustrated, but I don’t let it get to me as much as I used to. I have my moments.
Water off a duck’s back. 

I would concur with @SoSoSoHo on recommending Chris aka SportsMassageNYC

I would concur with @SoSoSoHo on recommending Chris aka SportsMassageNYC

If the masseur presents himself as therapeutic and sensual only, it’s odd he’s sending you pics implying more is available. The most suspect part of it is that he is asking the CLIENT for pics before he sends his own. That’s a dead giveaway that he is willing to go further than advertised, but ONLY with the clients he finds attractive. That’s a major red flag of unprofessional behavior.
A good masseur works on everyone and maintains consistent policies regardless of how the client looks. Even if the massage gets pretty erotic, he will do this with every client that wants it, not just cherry picking from clients he finds attractive.
We receive a lot of requests for various pics. If we want the work, we need them ready, or to be prepared to say no and lose a potential client, even if we are very clear in our ad and private message communication that the massage doesn’t go that far. The client now knows this explicitly and yet still persists asking for pics. Seems crazy we have to play these games, but we are the ones who lose out if we don’t have or send pics upon request. Better, and clearer I think to refuse to send x pics if you truly don’t offer anything that would merit those pics and be willing to lose the work. It sends mixed messages, but he can send them anyway, be clear about the boundaries, and hope for the best.
If more IS available, I see nothing wrong with sending x pics upon request. The masseur should not require pics of the client to do this. Also, he should charge accordingly when the client requests extras or services more appropriate to an escort. Take note of his rates and maintain expectations accordingly.
Better yet, ask him directly: is x, y, or z included? Do you offer a, b, or c? Yes/no question format is best. Nothing will annoy a masseur faster than asking in an open ended fashion: “What is included?” Because that invites every possible act anyone could ever think of. The masseur has three choices: 1) not respond to the question 2) try to list every act ever conceived by mankind, which he won’t do 3) send a short list of what clients tend to like and that he’s willing to offer.
You know what you want. Just ask for it.
Each masseur has nuanced reasoning for what he chooses to send. Maybe he offers mutual touch and the client wants to see what he might be touching, even though no sexual contact meriting discussions of PrEP will actually take place. The masseur could send pics to appease the client but then the client has the impression that he can do whatever he wants with the masseur including full service for the price of a massage. That’s on the client for making dumb assumptions. But you never know. Clients tell stories of that stuff happening on these forums all the time. “I flipped over and he sat on my cock”.
Those are exceptions, not the rule, and really those masseurs should be charging escort rates for that level of service. Clients, please maintain reasonable expectations and pay your guys well if they go way above and beyond without discussing higher rates beforehand. Better yet, be clear in your communication about exactly what you want, what he offers, and what he charges for it upfront. And if you do want or expect full service, be prepared to pay appropriately for those services.
My rule of thumb: full service is double the massage rate. For example, here’s mine: $150/60 min massage. $300/60 min escort service. Your masseurs will vary but that gives you a rough idea of what to expect.
The whole PrEP thing is another discussion. Plenty of clients are concerned with our sexual heath even if they know nothing is going to happen. They demand the info even if we are clear about the limitations of the session. Damned if we list our health practices because it sends the message that we are having sex frequently with our clients. Damned if we don’t because clients demand the info even if it’s irrelevant to what is actually happening in their session. There’s the odd paranoid client who demands “proof” like asking us to send photos of our prescriptions. I don’t see those clients because there is no satisfying them, no matter what I do.
Then there’s the masseur who - surprise, surprise - escorts in addition to massage work, or - surprise surprise - advertises himself as a masseur but is actually only providing escort services. That’s fine. He should be clear in that case what is on offer and how much it costs. He may have “optional” additional services, which he should state upfront what those are, the limits, and how much (in addition to, or in lieu of his advertised massage fees).
Basically don’t make assumptions based on pics or info listed or photos sent. Don’t make assumptions at all. Ask directly about things you care about and go by what he says. If he prefers not to put it in writing, ask for a brief phone call. If he asks you (the client) for pics, politely decline and look for a more professional guy. Plenty of masseurs work on all types of clients and are not concerned about the way the client looks. His service is the same regardless.

Having a guy jack me off for the last 2 minutes of a mediocre massage (usually) is definitely not the same as sex and I expect the rate to reflect that.   

Because in this business, to be truly successful, it isn't just about looks.  That perhaps 40% of the equation.
A lot of beautiful, young guys aren't well-rounded enough to be hired by the right men who can help make them very wealthy.  That either takes being an old soul from a young age or simply living enough life to understand the game.
It does indeed take a certain kind of personality and intellect to handle this long-term.  That's why there are many escorts out there who work well for a single hour, but would never make it in longer term hires. 
There's a massive difference between simple sex work and being a true escort.  

Those here who are talking about it the most seem to be the ones who have had multiple issues with the platform. 
Mom's logic: If you're not doing anything wrong, you probably don't have anything to worry about. 
Some clients here keep talking about it because this app is trying to level the playing field a bit... And that might have some of them a little worried. 

Ignore, don’t engage. Stay on topic as much as possible.
I try to ignore those members and scroll on. I lost count of the number of threads the mods had to close because of a few choice members continuously picking fights with others arguing over absolutely nothing. They like provoking and getting a rise. The pattern is: take offense to something in the discussion, veer way off topic and take offense to something else down that whole other rabbit hole topic, defend one’s self to the point of total communication breakdown until only personal attacks ensue. You can see the pattern consistently play out. It sucks we miss out on some productive discussions because they hijack the thread. Note those members in the moderator locked closed threads, and then don’t engage their crazy anymore. Don’t poke the bears and don’t feed them either.
And no, I’m not naming names. The various threads speak loudly and clearly for themselves.