Ever double sided edge of 3some

[blck37]

Lets start with i am not hot, just a average looking joe. I have grown to like 3some (with 2 providers) and watching them play with each other (in between playing with me). But as them providers i hired are hot guys (in comparison to me) i have started to notice (more) majority of them put more efforts (or rather more intimate) with each other than with me. Whilst they did not ignore me/ still play with me, its the micro gesture that i noticed....eg a more intimate/ soft kiss or the grunt (when they touch each other) etc. 

Whilst i do enjoy the live porn, its starting to annoy and offend me as to the different in treatment provided to me. 

Just a rant. Thanks for listening (reading lol)

[TorontoDrew]

1 hour ago, blck37 said:

Lets start with i am not hot, just a average looking joe. I have grown to like 3some (with 2 providers) and watching them play with each other (in between playing with me). But as them providers i hired are hot guys (in comparison to me) i have started to notice (more) majority of them put more efforts (or rather more intimate) with each other than with me. Whilst they did not ignore me/ still play with me, its the micro gesture that i noticed....eg a more intimate/ soft kiss or the grunt (when they touch each other) etc. 

Whilst i do enjoy the live porn, its starting to annoy and offend me as to the different in treatment provided to me. 

Just a rant. Thanks for listening (reading lol)

I've been there.  They are attracted to each other so it's a conscious effort to include you.  I think the perfect threesome for those of us who hire is more fantasy than reality.

[+ nycman]

Yeah, it’s why I avoid 3-somes in my real life as well as my hiring life. 

I’m ALWAYS more attracted to one more than the other (even when they’re both smoking hot). I end up getting into my own head about forcing myself to pay attention to the "less attractive" one. It feels awkward and strained. It tends to be even worse if they’re a couple and haven’t already worked through all of the inevitable issues that arise from such a situation. 

Remember, you’re doing this to have fun. If it isn’t fun, you’re doing something wrong.

[blck37]

38 minutes ago, TorontoDrew said:

I've been there.  They are attracted to each other so it's a conscious effort to include you.  I think the perfect threesome for those of us who hire is more fantasy than reality.

Sad reality....but golden statement. I think to date the only 3s experience where i didnt notice those subtle attractiveness (between the providers) was with porn stars. Perhaps they are just better with hiding their feeling and putting on a mask in front of the client.

[blck37]

27 minutes ago, nycman said:

you’re doing this to have fun. If it isn’t fun, you’re doing something wrong.

Words to remember. Sad that this happen with my favorite regular, might need to take a break from him for a bit.

[big-n-tall]

It's totally understandable that you feel you are being left out a bit. First, if I were you, I'd lay some ground rules down about any threesomes you have in the future. Like they must make you the focus. You are the client. If they won't agree to involving you more, maybe it's time to move on and find guys who will.

I haven't done many 3-somes in the grand scheme of things. My biggest issue is I kind of lose focus with multiple people and starting worrying/overthinking about making sure everyone has equal time. LOL!

[Simon Suraci]

I’ve done foursomes for clients. All three of us providers are very professional and understand that it’s not paid playtime for us, although the client gets off on watching us perform live for him. It helps that none of us are in a relationship with one another. It keeps business strictly business.

We make the client the focus. We all grope him from three sides like a big group hug, and kiss, stroke, lick, and stimulate his whole body, frequently switching positions, roles, and activities. We involve all of us in any given moment, and of course the client is in the middle of all the action and calling all the shots when he feels like calling them. The rest is intuition and knowing what the client likes doing and being done to him and what he likes to see others doing, and we all lean into those things.

Another plus is taking advantage of all our individual strengths and talents and combining them. Yes, we may look a bit different from one another, one older, one younger, and me in the middle, but the beauty of it is diversity. The client gets off on the whole buffet, not just favoring and being distracted by the “hottest”, or youngest, or most hung, etc. The result feels more like 1+1+1 = 6. You could hire us all individually and enjoy all of the separate meetings (and this particular client has), but together it’s a massive, explosive experience. Worth trying at least once in your life.

Meetings like this I consider successful. If you’ve ever wanted multiple providers before but have concerns like those already mentioned in this thread, the key is to hire the right providers.  Professional men who ‘get it’, and ideally know one another, get along well, and have worked together before in a similar capacity. If they don’t know one another prior, they should at least have experience with similar arrangements.

When the client is spent (after a very long time of buildup), he likes to watch us continue and will still touch us and find pleasure in what we’re doing. It’s 100% about the client’s pleasure. The second he shows any wavering of interest we either stop or change to a different activity.

We providers can hook up with one another on our own time, if we wanted to, although we don’t. It’s not about us feeling good or getting off. It’s about client satisfaction. For us, it’s business. We’re really good at our jobs and we want to get paid fairly for doing it. And we do. Win-win-win-win!

I play well with others. As it goes, I tend to be the ‘madam’, organizing these types of meets. To be clear, this isn’t trafficking. It’s independent guys choosing freely to work together for an agreed-upon fee. Basically informally arranged contract work.

If booking multiple providers interests you, I highly recommend booking these things with at least a few days notice, or more if possible. Getting schedules to align and coordinating things takes time. Sometimes it all works out with little notice. More often, it’s not possible to arrange something on short notice.

If you’re in my area or if I am traveling to yours, hire me! If I haven’t worked with someone before, I am willing to arrange a consultation with the other guy(s) you want, to see if it would be a good match and go from there.

[blck37]

15 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I’ve done foursomes for clients. All three of us providers are very professional and understand that it’s not paid playtime for us, although the client gets off on watching us perform live for him. It helps that none of us are in a relationship with one another. It keeps business strictly business.

We make the client the focus. We all grope him from three sides like a big group hug, and kiss, stroke, lick, and stimulate his whole body, frequently switching positions, roles, and activities. We involve all of us in any given moment, and of course the client is in the middle of all the action and calling all the shots when he feels like calling them. The rest is intuition and knowing what the client likes doing and being done to him and what he likes to see others doing, and we all lean into those things.

Another plus is taking advantage of all our individual strengths and talents and combining them. Yes, we may look a bit different from one another, one older, one younger, and me in the middle, but the beauty of it is diversity. The client gets off on the whole buffet, not just favoring and being distracted by the “hottest”, or youngest, or most hung, etc. The result feels more like 1+1+1 = 6. You could hire us all individually and enjoy all of the separate meetings (and this particular client has), but together it’s a massive, explosive experience. Worth trying at least once in your life.

Meetings like this I consider successful. If you’ve ever wanted multiple providers before but have concerns like those already mentioned in this thread, the key is to hire the right providers.  Professional men who ‘get it’, and ideally know one another, get along well, and have worked together before in a similar capacity. If they don’t know one another prior, they should at least have experience with similar arrangements.

When the client is spent (after a very long time of buildup), he likes to watch us continue and will still touch us and find pleasure in what we’re doing. It’s 100% about the client’s pleasure. The second he shows any wavering of interest we either stop or change to a different activity.

We providers can hook up with one another on our own time, if we wanted to, although we don’t. It’s not about us feeling good or getting off. It’s about client satisfaction. For us, it’s business. We’re really good at our jobs and we want to get paid fairly for doing it. And we do. Win-win-win-win!

I play well with others. As it goes, I tend to be the ‘madam’, organizing these types of meets. To be clear, this isn’t trafficking. It’s independent guys choosing freely to work together for an agreed-upon fee. Basically informally arranged contract work.

If booking multiple providers interests you, I highly recommend booking these things with at least a few days notice, or more if possible. Getting schedules to align and coordinating things takes time. Sometimes it all works out with little notice. More often, it’s not possible to arrange something on short notice.

If you’re in my area or if I am traveling to yours, hire me! If I haven’t worked with someone before, I am willing to arrange a consultation with the other guy(s) you want, to see if it would be a good match and go from there.

Thanks for such useful insight!

[blck37]

16 hours ago, big-n-tall said:

It's totally understandable that you feel you are being left out a bit. First, if I were you, I'd lay some ground rules down about any threesomes you have in the future. Like they must make you the focus. You are the client. If they won't agree to involving you more, maybe it's time to move on and find guys who will.

I haven't done many 3-somes in the grand scheme of things. My biggest issue is I kind of lose focus with multiple people and starting worrying/overthinking about making sure everyone has equal time. LOL!

Yeah its time for me to take a look deep inside my own head (or heart), is it annoyance or jealousy, or a bit of both......

[soloyo215]

20 hours ago, blck37 said:

Lets start with i am not hot, just a average looking joe. I have grown to like 3some (with 2 providers) and watching them play with each other (in between playing with me). But as them providers i hired are hot guys (in comparison to me) i have started to notice (more) majority of them put more efforts (or rather more intimate) with each other than with me. Whilst they did not ignore me/ still play with me, its the micro gesture that i noticed....eg a more intimate/ soft kiss or the grunt (when they touch each other) etc. 

Whilst i do enjoy the live porn, its starting to annoy and offend me as to the different in treatment provided to me. 

Just a rant. Thanks for listening (reading lol)

I know that you;re just ranting, but here are my thoughts, not necessarily advice, but more like "food for thought".

If you are the one paying, you are the one who can demand how things go. It should be part of the conversation about the deal. I've had my fair share of threesomes, most of them OK, one or two amazing, and a handful that I just walked away from, precisely because of that. Some might get off feeling like the third wheel in the threesome, but I prefer them to be fully democratic. If that's your case, maybe that's something that should/can be discussed beforehand. Providers, of course can/should enjoy themselves doing their jobs, but at the end they should cater to the paying customer, ensuring the client's satisfaction, not just them.

Only what we see in porn (that is, the final edited video content) is when we see that everything in the 3some happens perfectly, and it's because it's recorded, choreographed, and created precisely to give the viewer the fantasy of the perfect experience. In reality, one of the guys might like one guy more than another, one might be using the 3some as an excuse to hook up with the other (dissing the 3rd), one might not be as good as another, one might have better chemistry with another, one might be more attracted to one than the other. A good, satisfying 3some, in my experience, doesn't happen in perfect harmony, or spontaneously. There has to be communication, agreement, and maybe even compromise beforehand. In a provider setting, IMO, it should be part of the arrangement discussion.

[pubic_assistance]

4 hours ago, blck37 said:

it annoyance or jealousy, or a bit of both......

I can't blame you for being jealous and annoyed since you're paying for this get-together.

I agree with the above advice: to lay down some more direct ground rules for while the clock is ticking.

Edited October 3, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[marylander1940]

22 hours ago, blck37 said:

Lets start with i am not hot, just a average looking joe. I have grown to like 3some (with 2 providers) and watching them play with each other (in between playing with me). But as them providers i hired are hot guys (in comparison to me) i have started to notice (more) majority of them put more efforts (or rather more intimate) with each other than with me. Whilst they did not ignore me/ still play with me, its the micro gesture that i noticed....eg a more intimate/ soft kiss or the grunt (when they touch each other) etc. 

Whilst i do enjoy the live porn, its starting to annoy and offend me as to the different in treatment provided to me. 

Just a rant. Thanks for listening (reading lol)

Obviously most gay men in those circumstances are most likely attracted to folks like that. 

Have you thought about suggesting YOU should be the center of attention in the 3some and see if true professionals follow the rule? 

21 hours ago, blck37 said:

Sad reality....but golden statement. I think to date the only 3s experience where i didnt notice those subtle attractiveness (between the providers) was with porn stars. Perhaps they are just better with hiding their feeling and putting on a mask in front of the client.

It's understandable, most of the time they're attracted to their film costars but escorting it's different. 

19 hours ago, big-n-tall said:

It's totally understandable that you feel you are being left out a bit. First, if I were you, I'd lay some ground rules down about any threesomes you have in the future. Like they must make you the focus. You are the client. If they won't agree to involving you more, maybe it's time to move on and find guys who will.

I haven't done many 3-somes in the grand scheme of things. My biggest issue is I kind of lose focus with multiple people and starting worrying/overthinking about making sure everyone has equal time. LOL!

Brilliant! 

[Jamie21]

I guess it could be that since you enjoy watching them then they are playing up to that even more?  I definitely get more turned on by the fact that my client enjoys watching me with the other guy and it spurs me on. It’s got nothing to do with whether the guy watching is hot or not. 

I don’t think you can mandate that the provider kisses you with the same level of intimacy / intensity as he kisses the other provider. That’s just unrealistic and will make for an awkward situation. You should focus on your responses rather than trying to see whether you are getting the same degree of intimacy. If you’re into it then as long as you hire good professionals then they’ll be as into you as they are each other. 
 

 

 

 

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Unless you hire exactly the right tag-team of escorts, your attention to minutiae will always be your achilles heel.

For you, the ideal two other guys might be a long-term couple who also escort. 

Taking a walk down memory lane, it reminds me of how successful and well-reviewed Adrian & Blake of Orlando were.  They were partnered in life and knew exactly how to work in a third.  This would have been right in their wheelhouse.

That kind of emotional/sexual choreography takes some time to perfect, but from what clients of mine have said, they were fantastic.

Edited October 3, 2023 by BenjaminNicholas

[Luv2play]

I've had three types of 3some experiences, great, good and so-so. I made a lot of preparations in advance of each and I hired mostly escorts who I thought would be compatible. I also tried to hire a top, a vers-top to complement my being a bottom 

So far I haven't hired a couple but the great ones have been involved in porn to some extent. Recently I hired two who were pornstars and it was great how we all interacted. 

Communication is key and there is that little thing called chemistry. It can make or break the experience. 

[+ nycman]

4 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Unless you hire exactly the right tag-team of escorts, your attention to minutiae will always be your achilles heel.

So beautifully said.

Thank you.

[blck37]

5 hours ago, Luv2play said:

 the great ones have been involved in porn to some extent. Recently I hired two who were pornstars and it was great how we all interacted. 

Agree in my experiences porns starts are the best in 3s.

[blck37]

6 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Unless you hire exactly the right tag-team of escorts, your attention to minutiae will always be your achilles heel.

For you, the ideal two other guys might be a long-term couple who also escort. 

Taking a walk down memory lane, it reminds me of how successful and well-reviewed Adrian & Blake of Orlando were.  They were partnered in life and knew exactly how to work in a third.  This would have been right in their wheelhouse.

That kind of emotional/sexual choreography takes some time to perfect, but from what clients of mine have said, they were fantastic.

Very well said and sadly on point. Had 3s with porn stars who also happen to be a couple, work out fantastic.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 10/2/2023 at 2:51 PM, blck37 said:

Lets start with i am not hot, just a average looking joe. I have grown to like 3some (with 2 providers) and watching them play with each other (in between playing with me). But 

Whilst i do enjoy the live porn, its starting to annoy and offend me as to the different in treatment provided to me.

Whoa: let’s backup some. 🎥 rewind ⏪ the 💿 DVD.

Based on what you’re saying: you enjoy live porn. And what do the performers do to you while you watch video porn? Nothing. Your pleasure is via the viewing of it, and the pleasuring of yourself. There’s no reason you should feel annoyed or offended by something that: you generally would be happy to engage in, and have no control over: on screen. Just basic understanding here.

Now, if you’re talking about an actual 3som situation that you conveyed would be all participating: (not just watch: and if not, leave “Watch” out the expectations entirely) then there should be a conversation about expectations involved. Either it’s going to be 2 on 1, or 1 on 3, or flip flop between the 3. It should be discussed. 
 

I’ve learned not to look at the “who’s hotter” or getting the most fun out of a 3 way, and just enjoy it. This is the one situation where you can get away with being a little selfish: do what you want to do, or walk away if you feel you got your fill. You won’t be leaving anyone hanging, per say.

Also if hiring two escorts that you don’t know, there’s higher chance that it could go down that way. You’re probably better going with a guy or escort you know, and then including a 3 party. I’ve even been in situations where I was the only escort in a 3 way situation, but the client had his fun buddy or whatever. Long as you have at least one trustful guy, it could help lessen that chance of hiring two hot guys who are just going to go at it, and push you aside. 

 

[blck37]

6 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Whoa: let’s backup some. 🎥 rewind ⏪ the 💿 DVD.

Based on what you’re saying: you enjoy live porn. And what do the performers do to you while you watch video porn? Nothing. Your pleasure is via the viewing of it, and the pleasuring of yourself. There’s no reason you should feel annoyed or offended by something that: you generally would be happy to engage in, and have no control over: on screen. Just basic understanding here.

Now, if you’re talking about an actual 3som situation that you conveyed would be all participating: (not just watch: and if not, leave “Watch” out the expectations entirely) then there should be a conversation about expectations involved. Either it’s going to be 2 on 1, or 1 on 3, or flip flop between the 3. It should be discussed. 
 

I’ve learned not to look at the “who’s hotter” or getting the most fun out of a 3 way, and just enjoy it. This is the one situation where you can get away with being a little selfish: do what you want to do, or walk away if you feel you got your fill. You won’t be leaving anyone hanging, per say.

Also if hiring two escorts that you don’t know, there’s higher chance that it could go down that way. You’re probably better going with a guy or escort you know, and then including a 3 party. I’ve even been in situations where I was the only escort in a 3 way situation, but the client had his fun buddy or whatever. Long as you have at least one trustful guy, it could help lessen that chance of hiring two hot guys who are just going to go at it, and push you aside. 

 

I dont usually set hard rules for 3s or orgy. Everyone can play with each other so long as i am not ignored - and i have never been ignored (to date at least) save for if i were resting, in that period i let them do whatever they want be it play amongst themselves or taking rest also, i will just watch on the side and jump back to the play when i ready. So thats a non issue (except for one 3s encounter with a provider and his partner, where the provider came fcking the other provider whilst i was resting leaving me dry....lol)

My post/ rant is not bout that really. Its more on providers not affording same level of intimacy they did to each other - in my last 3s encounter (with a regular and a travelling provider), the regular did stuff to the other provider in front of me which he indicates he has reservation to do with me. I am not going to force him to do stuffs he dont want to do, but i would expect him to not do it with other provider in front of me and on my dime.

[blck37]

14 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I guess it could be that since you enjoy watching them then they are playing up to that even more?  I definitely get more turned on by the fact that my client enjoys watching me with the other guy and it spurs me on. It’s got nothing to do with whether the guy watching is hot or not. 

I don’t think you can mandate that the provider kisses you with the same level of intimacy / intensity as he kisses the other provider. That’s just unrealistic and will make for an awkward situation. You should focus on your responses rather than trying to see whether you are getting the same degree of intimacy. If you’re into it then as long as you hire good professionals then they’ll be as into you as they are each other. 
 

 

 

 

 

Your alternative is a sound possibility, and a positive attitude towards the situation.

I agree (and i wont) mandate providers to do stuff they dont want to do - would be a really awkward conversation. 

To provide more context, what happen was during my last 3s (with a regular and a travelling provider), the regular did stuff that he said he has reservations to do (yes i asked whether he would be open to do those stuff before) with/ to the 3rd guy in front of me. And when initiate the same actions with the regular in the moment, he does receptive and reciprocate but after the 3rd guy left, he is back to being reserved and not so into it. It was an overnight session and the 3rd guy only booked for couple hours.

So yeah i guess i am just annoyed (or perhaps jealous) and not to say all that on my dime. 

Guess its all boil down to combination of unprofessionalism and the regular being attracted to the 3rd guy (noting he was suggested by the regular). Its a pity, bcs the regular is otherwise the best i have had hired so far.

Edited October 4, 2023 by blck37

[marylander1940]

21 minutes ago, blck37 said:

I dont usually set hard rules for 3s or orgy. Everyone can play with each other so long as i am not ignored - and i have never been ignored (to date at least) save for if i were resting, in that period i let them do whatever they want be it play amongst themselves or taking rest also, i will just watch on the side and jump back to the play when i ready. So thats a non issue (except for one 3s encounter with a provider and his partner, where the provider came fcking the other provider whilst i was resting leaving me dry....lol)

My post/ rant is not bout that really. Its more on providers not affording same level of intimacy they did to each other - in my last 3s encounter (with a regular and a travelling provider), the regular did stuff to the other provider in front of me which he indicates he has reservation to do with me. I am not going to force him to do stuffs he dont want to do, but i would expect him to not do it with other provider in front of me and on my dime.

Rimming? 

Giving head? 

If it bothers you you should ask him why he's willing to do that to another guy and not to you.

No rant from you, you're just sharing your feedback with us.

[blck37]

3 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Rimming? 

Giving head? 

If it bothers you you should ask him why he's willing to do that to another guy and not to you.

No rant from you, you're just sharing your feedback with us.

Nothing that major, just french kiss, and intimate sex eg fuck and kiss. No rimming would be a deal breaker LOL.

Didnt want to ask him in the moment as to avoid awkwardness - also deep down i know the answer, it is likely that he is attracted to the 3rd guy. Actions he did with me are chores, with the 3rd guy is a subsconscious preference.

Maybe i should have the talk for future sessions (if any that is).

[marylander1940]

35 minutes ago, blck37 said:

Nothing that major, just french kiss, and intimate sex eg fuck and kiss. No rimming would be a deal breaker LOL.

Didnt want to ask him in the moment as to avoid awkwardness - also deep down i know the answer, it is likely that he is attracted to the 3rd guy. Actions he did with me are chores, with the 3rd guy is a subsconscious preference.

Maybe i should have the talk for future sessions (if any that is).

Sometimes this kind of perceptions are in the eyes of the beholder. You should  communicate with him what happened or not have any more threesomes including him because you might have the same experience. 

[blck37]

47 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Sometimes this kind of perceptions are in the eyes of the beholder. You should  communicate with him what happened or not have any more threesomes including him because you might have the same experience. 

I should indeed....at some point lol