A fair price Vs a guilty secret

[secgoo]

I have a provider that I really like. He's not in the country at the moment but hopefully will be back soon. The thing is, he's really under charges. And I mean REALLY under charges.

We started meeting for 2 hours for £200 but, after a few meetings he ended up staying for more than 2 hours, chilling on the sofa playing or snuggling in bed etc.

I've never mentioned his profile identity on this site because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, he's so sweet, fit, attentive, attractive, passionate, spunky and horny all at the same time there's no way he should only be charging clients this rate.

When he comes back I feel the need to have a sit down with him and clue him up to what he should be charging.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What would you do if you had a horny 24 year old who was under charging you?

Edited October 6, 2023 by secgoo
Unintentional clickbait

[pubic_assistance]

6 minutes ago, secgoo said:

What would you do if you had a horny 24 year old who was under charging you?

I think your perspective and his are different. Who are you to "educate" him on his business model ?

I would never tell someone else HOW to run their business. Especially if I've never been in that line of work.

[secgoo]

9 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I think your perspective and his are different. Who are you to "educate" him on his business model ?

I would never tell someone else HOW to run their business. Especially if I've never been in that line of work.

Oh that's a really interesting perspective. Although the quote marks around the word educate aren't really reflective of what's going on in my head. I think that's why I said "clue him up", as in let him know he could get way more if he wants.

If you got really friendly with a local restauranteur who was significantly undercharging his customers, having never been in the restaurant business (presumably) would you suggest he could put his prices up?

[rvwnsd]

16 minutes ago, secgoo said:

I have a provider that I really like. He's not in the country at the moment but hopefully will be back soon. The thing is, he's really under charges. And I mean REALLY under charges.

We started meeting for 2 hours for £200 but, after a few meetings he ended up staying for more than 2 hours, chilling on the sofa playing or snuggling in bed etc.

I've never mentioned his profile identity on this site because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, he's so sweet, fit, attentive, attractive, passionate, spunky and horny all at the same time there's no way he should only be charging clients this rate.

When he comes back I feel the need to have a sit down with him and clue him up to what he should be charging.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What would you do if you had a horny 24 year old who was under charging you?

If his rate is £200 and he charges you £200, then you aren't taking advantage of him. You are paying his stated rate. If you feel strongly that he deserves more, then pay him more by leaving him a generous tip. 

"Sitting him down..." is a bad idea. Frankly, by doing so you would be insulting his judgement. He knows what other escorts are charging and he chooses to charge what he charges. Be grateful that he doesn't charge £2,000.

[rvwnsd]

Just now, secgoo said:

Oh that's a really interesting perspective. Although the quote marks around the word educate aren't really reflective of what's going on in my head. I think that's why I said "clue him up", as in let him know he could get way more if he wants.

If you got really friendly with a local restauranteur who was significantly undercharging his customers, having never been in the restaurant business (presumably) would you suggest he could put his prices up?

No, I wouldn't. Again, that would be an insult to his ability to run a business.

[secgoo]

1 minute ago, rvwnsd said:

 then pay him more by leaving him a generous tip. 

"Sitting him down..." is a bad idea.

Good call in the tip.

"Sitting him down" does sound wrong. Perhaps I miss-characterised that intent but from the sounds of you and @pubic_assistance it seems like broaching the subject at all is insulting which is the total opposite of what I wanted to do.

[secgoo]

5 minutes ago, rvwnsd said:

No, I wouldn't. Again, that would be an insult to his ability to run a business.

I'm glad I asked in that way because I'm the type of guy who would gladly welcome that kind of feedback and advice from friends.

[+ sync]

31 minutes ago, secgoo said:

I have a provider that I really like. He's not in the country at the moment but hopefully will be back soon. The thing is, he's really under charges. And I mean REALLY under charges.

We started meeting for 2 hours for £200 but, after a few meetings he ended up staying for more than 2 hours, chilling on the sofa playing or snuggling in bed etc.

I've never mentioned his profile identity on this site because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, he's so sweet, fit, attentive, attractive, passionate, spunky and horny all at the same time there's no way he should only be charging clients this rate.

When he comes back I feel the need to have a sit down with him and clue him up to what he should be charging.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What would you do if you had a horny 24 year old who was under charging you?

I agree with not advising him about price points.  Have you considered his extended activities with you could be an indication that he has feelings for you beyond his provider profession?

Edited October 6, 2023 by sync

[pubic_assistance]

6 minutes ago, secgoo said:

If you got really friendly with a local restauranteur who was significantly undercharging his customers, having never been in the restaurant business (presumably) would you suggest he could put his prices up?

I think telling someone they are wrong about how they are running their business is ripe with insult. Although i understand you're wanting to share a different perspective and your intentions are good..I think you miss the effect of hurting a man's ego.

[Bokomaru]

Of course it could be an insult to him. It just depends on how it’s presented. 
I think the advice so far hasn’t taken into account just how young, naive, and inexperienced guys in that age range can be. 

Do what you already know is the right thing to do. Gingerly mention it to him in case he’s not aware of market conditions and what he’s worth. 
 

You do not want to “educate” him but rather to (actually) educate him. One way is condescending. The other is an offer of information that might be useful. Then he can decide what to do. 

[secgoo]

Just now, sync said:

I agree with not advising him about price points.  Have you considered his extended activities with you could be an indication that he has feelings for you beyond his provider profession.

Well I am a nice guy really but don't tell anyone because I'm trying to let my reputation as a big docked, rough dominant top spread 😝🤪🤣

[+ nycman]

Even a 24 year old is old enough to understand the market and basic business concepts. 

My take is the kid "likes" you and maybe is giving more of himself in response to that. 

My advice is that you graciously accept his generosity. Calling him out on the fact that he’s undercharging you telegraphs that in your head it’s a purely business relationship (which it may well be and there nothing wrong with that), and hurting his feelings or worse making him feel stupid for thinking otherwise. Which, as you stated is exactly the opposite of what you hoped this conversation would accomplish.

In other words, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

[secgoo]

5 minutes ago, nycman said:

My take is the kid "likes" you and maybe is giving more of himself in response to that. 

<snip>

In other words, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

Maybe he does, the reaction I get from providers is generally very positive. I don't know.

I think you guys are right though, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I'll just have to tip.

Edited October 6, 2023 by secgoo
Change of plan, not living with guilt!

[+ tassojunior]

as tight as this damn market is now you'll be lucky if his rate doesn't shoot to 350 in a week. (assuming he's active in the trade). 

the way it works is you're allowed to give him what you want and, if he's good, gay men tend to be very generous with, (example:), giving 300 instead of 200 so much 300 becomes the norm he expects. 

many "masseurs" who really "escort", including a good friend of mine, do great by "advertising" 150 but taking tips for favors beyond the basic massage so they often make the same as those who advertise double as escorts. both extras and appreciation for good service matter. 

unfortunately for us right now, it's a seller's market but the market will eventually influence his rate though appreciative pay more than advice from you will.  

Edited October 6, 2023 by tassojunior

[Bokomaru]

For the philosophers among us, a hypothetical. 

 

Scenario 1, you are at a market and see a painting you love. It’s $50. You are familiar with the artist and are certain that its value is in excess of $2,000. You pay $50 and walk away with no ethical concerns. 
 

Scenario 2, you go to a friend’s place for dinner. You see a painting and mention that you love it. Your friend says that he inherited it and never liked it much. He’s thinking of selling it and you could have it for $50 if you want it. You think that he’s possibly not familiar with the artist and you don’t want to take advantage of your friend. You tell him that it’s probably worth $2,000. 

 

Which scenario describes your situation? I think the answer is that it lies somewhere in between. Closer to #2… maybe? Hard to say. There are no right or wrong answers. Just bear in mind that if you choose door #1 you do so to your own advantage, and an ethical person would at least take that into consideration. 

[Lazarus]

How is this a “dirty secret “? 

[secgoo]

11 minutes ago, Lazarus said:

How is this a “dirty secret “? 

Because I feel like I've got a really hot provider at an unfair rate that I haven't told you all about (or him)

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

15 minutes ago, secgoo said:

Because I feel like I've got a really hot provider at an unfair rate that I haven't told you all about (or him)

Or, it's just serves as typical headline clickbait 🙂

As for the subject at hand, if you want to be a decent human being, tell him he's great and could easily charge more.

Let him figure out the rest. 

Edited October 6, 2023 by BenjaminNicholas

[+ Charlie]

He may feel that being hired regularly by you at that asking price is more satisfactory to him than possibly seeing less of you at a higher price.

[maninsoma]

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Or, it's just serves as typical headline clickbait 🙂

As for the subject at hand, if you want to be a decent human being, tell him he's great and could easily charge more.

Let him figure out the rest. 

Thank you.  That's exactly what I did two decades ago with the college student I hired frequently over the period of a couple of years, along with tipping him more generously than I did providers whose rates were more aligned with the market.

[pubic_assistance]

6 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

....That's exactly what I did two decades ago with the college student I hired frequently over the period of a couple of years, along with tipping him more generously than I did providers whose rates were more aligned with the market.

Same here.

I used to see a handsome college student for Thai massage once a week.

Over the course of a few weeks it went from therapeutic to erotic to me fucking his brains out after the massage. We never discussed payment for the sexual favors and I since didn't hire him as a sex-worker, I didn’t see that conversation as necessary. But of course, I did appreciate the extra attention and was well aware that he needed the money (as we all do)...so I always paid double what he originally asked once the "services" were upgraded to "full service".

[secgoo]

2 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Or, it's just serves as typical headline clickbait 🙂

Didn't intend for it to be clickbait. I'm not of the generation that needs likes or views or whatever it is nowadays.

I edited the topic for you.

Always willing to take feedback.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

2 hours ago, secgoo said:

Didn't intend for it to be clickbait. I'm not of the generation that needs likes or views or whatever it is nowadays.

I edited the topic for you.

Always willing to take feedback.

My smiley definitely meant I was just kidding around.  A sincere apology that you felt the need to change the headline.

I think you should change it again...  To something even more over-the-top   

[GTMike]

8 hours ago, secgoo said:

I have a provider that I really like. He's not in the country at the moment but hopefully will be back soon. The thing is, he's really under charges. And I mean REALLY under charges.

We started meeting for 2 hours for £200 but, after a few meetings he ended up staying for more than 2 hours, chilling on the sofa playing or snuggling in bed etc.

I've never mentioned his profile identity on this site because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, he's so sweet, fit, attentive, attractive, passionate, spunky and horny all at the same time there's no way he should only be charging clients this rate.

When he comes back I feel the need to have a sit down with him and clue him up to what he should be charging.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What would you do if you had a horny 24 year old who was under charging you?

I've been in very similar type situations/dynamics and completely understand your feelings.

To me it depended a lot on how the gent viewed the line of work proportionally to what else the person had going on in their life. Meaning was the work intended to be a long-term career goal, a mid-term solution for cash flow while they pursued something else, or a fleeting hobby as they explored their sexuality or psychology?

In more than one case i was asked specifically to compare and contrast our experience with others (not named/identified or anything like that. Just generalities), and also my understanding/opinion of standard market rates.

I believe that every situation is unique at any particular time and evolves and isn't fixed. I'd say to you that if you're spending that amount of time together you should get a sense as to how the other person characterizes and values your time together such that it's alwyas mutually agreeable, beneficial and satisfying.

[ICTJOCK]

Well you are very nice to have some concern for him.  I don't think there is anything wrong with asking him questions about how he charges,  just so you know how he has determined his approach..   There are appropriate positive ways you can put things.    "I think you are worth more than you are charging"   rather than,  " you are undercharging yourself".   Perhaps he has a reason or will fill you in if he feels so inclined.      Again,   awesome of you to be concerned about him.