Dating a masseur/escort?

[jadonis]

Hi guys! I wanted to share a very unique experience I had with a masseur who was visiting my city a few days ago (it ended up being more of an escort session thus I posted in Deli). Here I would like to mention that I have hired more than 40 escorts/masseurs over the last 3 years so I am not new to this.

I live in a relatively small city with very few options available. In general I prefer to hire escorts but occasionally I hire masseurs too (based on my experience some advertise as masseurs but they are open to more if you pay extra or if they are attracted to you). Anyways, a few days ago a very hot muscular masseur was visiting my city and texted him to book an appointment. I told him I am interested in erotic massage and asked him what it entails and his limitations. He made it clear that he is not an escort and only provides massage, both nude with mutual touch but nothing more. I respected his limitations and met with him. When he opened the door he seemed quite surprised and he was very enthusiastic. Here to mention that i am in my early 30s, quite attractive guy. We started chatting and we had a great conversation etc. We ended up spending 40 min talking before starting our actual session. He told me that I was his last appointment for the day and could stay longer without extra charge which was nice. I don't want to go into details but the massage ended up being a full escort-type encounter. We were both extremely passionate and to be honest it was one of the most beautiful encounters I have ever had in my life. We ended up spending 4hrs together (we ate, took a shower together, chatted more). Before I left he told me that he would like to see me again the following day before he leaves to his next destination. I paid for 1hr (I asked him if he wants more since I stayed way longer but he refused and told me I don't have to pay him but I insisted to pay for the 1hr at least). Moving forward we met again the next day. He made it clear in our communication that he doesn't want to see me as a client anymore which I agreed. He was super attentive, took me out for dinner, paid for it, and then we had another wonderful time together. Ended up spending almost 5 hrs together before I went back home. He left the following day but we are still communicating daily, He gave me his personal phone and real name. During our time he told me he has never done that before, and he said I was the most passionate lover he has ever had and the type of a guy he is attracted to (not sure if he is lying or not but he said that). He invited me to visit his home or  go for vacation together to get to know each other more. 

I have never experienced anything like that before and I am wondering if anyone has had or heard of a similar experience. I really like him and would love to spend more time with him but in the meantime I am wondering if this is a good idea or not. In part due to his profession and also due to our distance (i am in the south he lives northeast). Any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated!

Edited September 29, 2023 by jadonis

[acks0104]

I'm not sure if there's anything here we can tell you that isn't really up to you. It sounds like you guys had a good time. Plenty of people date escorts. The only thing you should realize is that he very well may continue to sleep with other men for work and I wouldn't expect that to change. If you're fine with it then go for it, otherwise move on.

[+ FrankR]

3 hours ago, acks0104 said:

I'm not sure if there's anything here we can tell you that isn't really up to you. It sounds like you guys had a good time. Plenty of people date escorts. The only thing you should realize is that he very well may continue to sleep with other men for work and I wouldn't expect that to change. If you're fine with it then go for it, otherwise move on.

Escorts and masseurs can and so find love. Their journey can be more difficult because they face negative perception etc from large parts of our society that frown on those that provide bodywork and sex work. If you feel a spark and want to persue this, you should be ready for that. But love is love. Like all relationships you should set firm boundaries, communicate well and build trust. Life is short - dont let an opportunity to find happiness pass you by. 

[+ Pensant]

It’s happened to many of us, including me a few times, one recently. In my case the age gulf was much wider, though. I’ve always looked good for my age and I’m also empathetic and nice, so I must be in the minority of the clients they meet. My advice is to ride the wave as long as it lasts, without setting too many conditions, while being aware that it could be a fleeting affair. In my case it’s usually my concern about the age difference, although it doesn’t seem to matter to them. 

[GLEE]

I wish that were the case for me, but it is not. All I can say is enjoy the moment and protect you and your heart.

[ICTJOCK]

Well first,  congrats on a very positive and exciting experience.    Really like those that are "life growers" and are above all... positive!     My thoughts are to be realistic.  Hard to do, but being a logic prone person,   I'd be logical in that he (and you)  live apart and each have busy life with a lot of things (and people)  going.

That said,  I'd see what happens.   He may be very different and values meeting and getting to know you.    I have to say,  those extraordinary "personal touches"  in life  make it exciting.   I would see what develops.   Even a friendship is something special,   it doesn't have to be some kind of ongoing sexual relationship.    Congrats.

[jadonis]

Thank you everyone! I will keep the communication and will see what happens. In any case, regardless of what will happen in the future, it was a beautiful experience! 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I dated an escort back when I was, say, 22 or 23. However, this was years before I began to hire; we just hit it off after meeting in public. I had a sugar daddy in college, so I didn't see anything wrong with it.

Unfortunately, my censorious "friends" did care (including 2 guys who had a sugar daddy at the time!), and ostracized me from the local (and small) gay community until we broke up (EDIT: this was a small town, decades ago; first job out of college). I later dumped all those "friends." I regret not dumping them earlier, and I was very glad when one of them ended up in prison for stealing money meant for AIDS education.

Edited September 29, 2023 by DrownedBoy

[BuffaloKyle]

Sounds like you had a great time indeed and love connections are made often at very unexpected times and places. The only red flag I say to watch out for is if he hits you up for money.

[soloyo215]

I'm glad that things turned out better than expected. I agree with what others posted. First, it's up to you if you want to continue, keeping in mind that he will continue seeing clients and I guess you are ok with that. Second, still being on the lookout for him not getting you involved and later extort you, want to recruit you (actually, are you open to that yourself?) or ask for money. I'd keep enjoying things as they are and let things evolve and unravel as time passes.

One of my masseurs hinted me on wanting to see me outside the provider/client setting, so it's possible for that to happen. However, I ended that relationship altogether for unrelated reasons, so I didn't spend extra time, didn't go out with him outside his studio, but had some communication that was more social in nature. He also told me that he has been on dates and have been mistreated as soon as they found what he does for a living. Escorts and masseurs are human and have social lives like all of us, but some people seem to have an issue with dating or getting romantically involved with a person in that line of work. If you are ok with it, I don't see why not letting things evolve (with caution, like with any other people we date).

[jadonis]

Thank you guys! You are making some great points. I am aware of the fact that he sees other people and since I am not into a relationship I don’t mind it for now (might change later on). I would never allow anyone to exploit me, use me or try to take advantage of me so if I get any hint that he tries to do that then I will pass and move on. I will be very cautious and see how it goes.
Thanks again for your input guys! Much appreciated  

[snowglobe11]

@jadonisany updates on what happened with you and the masseur? I was in a similar predicament but it ended horribly for me, hopefully your experience was much better. 

[dbar123]

It’s nice to have your expectations exceeded. Hopefully it won’t devolve to the point that he just sees you as a free place to stay and eat 

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/28/2023 at 11:44 PM, jadonis said:

I am wondering if this is a good idea or not. In part due to his profession and also due to our distance (i am in the south he lives northeast). Any advice on how to proceed would be much appreciated!

I would say pursuit of a long term relationship might be disappointing unless one of you is open to changing geography.

As far as the profession. That's on YOU. There is no reason that you can't have a relationship with a masseur as long as your jealousies don't take over your brain.

What you can certainly maintain is a nice romance and ride it out as long as it sustains a mutually enjoyable experience for both.

I think we all do better finding the love of our life by trying out as many mini-meets as possible.