I wonder why more good-looking guys don't get into the business

[Decatur Guy]

I commute through a college campus to work and I generally see no fewer than a dozen each day who would make a killing as providers. It makes me wonder why there aren't actually more guys doing this line of work. I realize that the vast majority of guys are straight and probably just couldn't go our way. Then there are the few straight guys, bi guys and gay guys who can, but just don't want to for various reasons: Their personal morality code, fear of the law or of diseases or both -- and most likely of all, they just can't get into the client base (generally older and not as good looking) enough to get aroused and give it a go. Straight or gay or in between, really good looking people tend to go for each other. 

But even accounting for all those hurdles, you'd think more of these guys would want to give it whirl, at least in the "you-can-service-me" sector. For every hot guy who would even try it, I bet there are 999 who wouldn't. I guess it really takes a  special person to be a successful, long-term provider. No wonder they command premium money when you think about it. They do something few people can do or are willing to do.

But based on just physical attributes, there are a ton of hot guys who could fill the bill if they wanted to.

Edited September 17, 2023 by Decatur Guy

[Guest]

It's an excellent question but simply put, it's not for everyone. I have photographed LOADS of (no pun intended) muscular, extremely beautiful men for the website I co-owned and co-operated and quite a few tried it ( knocking on doors lol ) and it was just not for them. As many will agree, good looks and physical attributes are just the tip of the iceberg and to be truly successful, guys will need to rely on much more than good looks and physical excellence. Also, not everyone is capable of producing an aroused state .!. on command either 😉

Edited September 17, 2023 by Guest

[Decatur Guy]

2 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

It's an excellent question but simply put, it's not for everyone. I have photographed LOADS (no pun intended) muscular extremely beautiful men for the website I co-owned and co-operated and quite a few tried it ( knocking on doors lol ) and it was just not for them. As many will agree, good looks and physical attributes are just the tip of the iceberg and to be truly successful, guys will need to rely on much more than good looks and physical excellence. 

I agree. Because if typical good looks (and I realize tastes vary widely) were the main entry point, more people would be doing it. I wish some of these men would give a whirl though!

[Guest]

Here's another way to look at.... many more could try and stay with it for a while but if their hearts or other organs aren't in it, they're going to be miserable and will give subpar service.  I use this same advice for myself in other aspects of my life, just because I can, doesn't mean I should. 
I do get your point though, me and a dear close friend who's now a retired superstar in Las Vegas used to joke about guys that weren't in the biz by saying "if he knew what was good for him, he would be" 🤣

I have a lot of respect for the guys who can but don't.. they'd do harm to themselves mentally and would disappoint a lot of people ( potential clients ) 

Edited September 17, 2023 by Guest

[ICTJOCK]

It is a challenging process to learn and go through the hoopes necessary for success.    There is so much more than good looks,  the social aspect,  communication,  marketing and the confidence necessary to make it a success.    In an environment filled with flakes,  consistency is key.    Those who are diligent yield successes.

[MikeBiDude]

31 minutes ago, Decatur Guy said:

I commute through a college campus to work and I generally see no fewer than a dozen each day who would make a killing as providers. It makes me wonder why there aren't actually more guys doing this line of work

This is why I like seeking arrangements. Much more time invested than an RM hire, often well rewarded.

[jeezifonly]

Sex work is service work. 
Having an excellent physical product is enough for some clients. But most of us clients need interaction that includes presence and a willingness to please. If an extra hot guy finds that too taxing for an hour or so, it’s not a viable match of personality and career. 

[Guest]

18 minutes ago, jeezifonly said:

But most of us clients need interaction that includes presence and a willingness to please.

Doesn't hurt to know what fork to use either 😜

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

1 hour ago, Decatur Guy said:

I commute through a college campus to work and I generally see no fewer than a dozen each day who would make a killing as providers. It makes me wonder why there aren't actually more guys doing this line of work. I realize that the vast majority of guys are straight and probably just couldn't go our way. Then there are the few straight guys, bi guys and gay guys who can, but just don't want to for various reasons: Their personal morality code, fear of the law or of diseases or both -- and most likely of all, they just can't get into the client base (generally older and not as good looking) enough to get aroused and give it a go. Straight or gay or in between, really good looking people tend to go for each other. 

But even accounting for all those hurdles, you'd think more of these guys would want to give it whirl, at least in the "you-can-service-me" sector. For every hot guy who would even try it, I bet there are 999 who wouldn't. I guess it really takes a  special person to be a successful, long-term provider. No wonder they command premium money when you think about it. They do something few people can do or are willing to do.

But based on just physical attributes, there are a ton of hot guys who could fill the bill if they wanted to.

Because in this business, to be truly successful, it isn't just about looks.  That perhaps 40% of the equation.

A lot of beautiful, young guys aren't well-rounded enough to be hired by the right men who can help make them very wealthy.  That either takes being an old soul from a young age or simply living enough life to understand the game.

It does indeed take a certain kind of personality and intellect to handle this long-term.  That's why there are many escorts out there who work well for a single hour, but would never make it in longer term hires. 

There's a massive difference between simple sex work and being a true escort.  

Edited September 17, 2023 by BenjaminNicholas

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, Decatur Guy said:

No wonder they command premium money when you think about it. They do something few people can do or are willing to do.

^Amen to this.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On the one hand, I get the question. I was offered an opportunity to do sex work (kind of a bordello situation) in college. But PreP wasn't yet available and as a bottom, and as a twink who looked younger than my age (twink tops weren't a thing yet), I felt it was entirely too risky. Plus I'd been sexually assaulted twice at that point, so I was very cautious. But if I were in my 20s now, I'd probably do it. 

BUT the biggest obstacle for most men is that they are raised to pursue sex, even up to paying for it. Women are socialized to make themselves beautiful, be service-oriented, and exchange affection and sex for material security. Most men are just not. 

And, even in more sex-positive communities, I know many sex workers who insist on discretion because it's a side hustle, and being "outed" could ruin their other careers. Particularly in NYC there are lots of escorts whose real passion is the arts. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

It's been answered several times - it requires skills beyond just being sexy.

I know of no online site or book that tells providers the basics on getting started, what to expect, how to deal with the steady stream of texts, of which only some are valid offers, etc.

In my opinion, in the U.S., law and public opinion are the biggest obstacles. In addition to removing and opportunities for proper training and protection, it makes working in the industry too risky. It's a lot rarer today to see gay prostitution stings, but the whole "sex trafficking" bullshit makes it a PR nightmare for a company to hire people in the industry.

It's easier - again, as someone mentioned - for college students to work out a "Seeking Arrangements" position. From personal experience, I can say it's a much easier path, you're more likely to have friends who can tell you about it and give useful advise, it's a lot less risky, and it is (or was) considered more "socially acceptable" for both parties involved.

 

EDIT: To clarify: SA (or FB) weren't around when I was in college. We used traditional "social networks" to pass word about interested, rich, gay alumni. This only made the whole process safer.

Edited September 17, 2023 by DrownedBoy

[CuriousByNature]

If I had a nickel for every time I was propositioned... I'd be completely broke.

But in all seriousness, I imagine physical appearance is just one part of the equation.  There must be other criteria that would raise a provider from 'physically attractive' to 'sexually appealing', and what that criteria happens to be would presumably vary from client to client.  

While I understand where the OP is coming from, and mean no disrespect, questioning why more people who attractive are not becoming providers is similar to wondering why more people who are tall do not become basketball players, or more people who excel at school do not become doctors.  

The other limiting factor is the social stigma in the USA and Canada around escort work.  We live in a modern society, but many people carry the moral baggage of our Victorian ancestors.  And ironically,  the Victorians were not the moral purists they liked to think they were.  They hid things better, people asked fewer questions, and the Victorians creatively justified the 'immoral' behaviours they partook of themselves while condemning anyone else who was doing the very same thing.  

[Decatur Guy]

Part of my inner motive in bringing this up is I'm not a good looking guy but I am very sexual. I've often wondered if I would have done that kind of work if I had the looks. Let's face it -- you can have all the other needed attributes, but if you don't have the right looks, the rest doesn't matter. It has to be the whole package.

I'm wondering what my "standards" would be if I been better looking. I think I still could crossed that hurdle. Because I do indeed see the attractiveness in a wide variety of people. I'm not sure I could have overcome the fear of arrest, etc. And then my prime time for this would have been the 1980s, and there were a host of problems that decade.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

2 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I know of no online site or book that tells providers the basics on getting started, what to expect, how to deal with the steady stream of texts, of which only some are valid offers, etc.

Aaron Lawrence's book is still the closest thing to a how-to manual.

https://www.amazon.com/Male-Escorts-Handbook-Guide-Getting/dp/0966769112

The book has aged due to the progression of tech, but a lot of it still makes perfect sense.  

It's a must-read for any would be working guy.

[CuriousByNature]

5 hours ago, Decatur Guy said:

Part of my inner motive in bringing this up is I'm not a good looking guy but I am very sexual. I've often wondered if I would have done that kind of work if I had the looks. Let's face it -- you can have all the other needed attributes, but if you don't have the right looks, the rest doesn't matter. It has to be the whole package.

I'm wondering what my "standards" would be if I been better looking. I think I still could crossed that hurdle. Because I do indeed see the attractiveness in a wide variety of people. I'm not sure I could have overcome the fear of arrest, etc. And then my prime time for this would have been the 1980s, and there were a host of problems that decade.

You may think you are not a good looking guy, but others who have seen you may disagree.  There are many components that work together to create attractiveness and allure.  For whatever reason, the provider life is not the path you embarked on, but hopefully the path you chose has proved to be more fulfilling for you than any of the other options you may have once considered.

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

12 hours ago, Decatur Guy said:

I commute through a college campus to work and I generally see no fewer than a dozen each day who would make a killing as providers. It makes me wonder why there aren't actually more guys doing this line of work. I realize that the vast majority of guys are straight and probably just couldn't go our way.

It sounds good theoretically, but what you mention is simply speculative. Just because someone looks good, doesn’t guarantee a fortune in the pay for gay industry. I know this for a fact: I am on Adam4Adam and I may only get 1 client in a week or month out of a KILLING of replies. Many are interested until I bring up the money. Which is usually why within the first message or 2, I already have an auto reply set up that includes my rates. 

Which is the other point: just because someone thinks they can get paid, doesn’t guarantee they’ll get paid what they want. If you ask the average non-sex worker guy how much they’ll charge to do what we do: you’ll hear a crazy number like $500 just to suck their dick, and anything with sex would be like $1,000, $10,000, $100,000, $1,000,000 etc. 

But WE KNOW: the average “range” for an hour or 2 is generally in the $50 to $500 range. And yes, there’s people out there who think $50 is a good price to pay for sex. Not making fun of anyone but, I’ve heard offers of all sorts over the years  🤷🏾‍♂️

I think the real question is: why aren’t there more people willing to pay? Because at this point: I feel there’s already enough providers in most major cities. I know it doesn’t seem like it, and there “could” theoretically be more, but there doesn’t need to be more because; we haven’t even come into full decriminalization or de-stigmatization. If you have too many providers, the potential for profit will decline if there’s not enough buyers to do it. It’ll be like when I went to a strip club in Dallas once: there was like 25 dancers and 3 customers. 
 

There’s also been stories here and there, of people offering a guy paid sex, getting tattled on: and then being arrested (though I think it’s usually been the under 18 ones). There’s also been situations I’ve heard where someone reacted violently towards a guy, after offering a straight guy payment for sex. Obviously these are extreme examples but: it’s worth keeping in mind to be mindful, and DON’T solicit someone blindly, just as an escort (especially gay escort) shouldn’t solicit clients blindly either.
 

I personally wouldn’t think into much. Even as a fantasy. Simply because: someone could say, “why aren’t more gay men into women? They would make BEAUTIFUL babies” lol. Well I would find that kinda offensive tbh. Even though it’s meant to be a compliment. I am what I am. 
 

And as others have mentioned, it’s not something everyone should or could do. Most people are of the concept: you only have sex with someone you’re attracted to. And then you have others (including other gays) who believe money should only be earned by working 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., and that sex is a God given right to give/get for free 👎🏾 

Edited September 18, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[XIX]

Being attractive is one thing, being able to deliver on the goods is another matter entirely. 

[pubic_assistance]

13 hours ago, Decatur Guy said:

I'm wondering what my "standards" would be if I been better looking.

When you grow up good looking...you know you have your pick of other good looking people. So you start sifting through the best of the best when you're looking to get laid. That means you're rejecting plenty of perfectly attractive men or women and this makes you not even consider the less fortunate as a sexual partner.

That's why most beautful people can't escort.

They can't get it up for an ugly person.

Edited September 18, 2023 by pubic_assistance

[maninsoma]

There is one big problem with your question: You are assuming facts not in evidence.  Just because someone doesn't have an obvious online presence as an escort doesn't mean he hasn't at least occasionally done sex work.  I've posted about my college age escort from two decades ago a number of times here, but to repeat: He only ever occasionally posted on Craigslist.  He took his ads down as soon as he found clients.  He only used one face photo, and it was small and low enough resolution that there is no way anyone could have used it to definitively identify him.  After he got as many regulars as he wanted, he never advertised again.  He was never on any site like Rentboy, Rentmen or Rentmasseur.  He was never reviewed on Hooboy's site or Daddy's site; I asked if he wanted me to write a review for him to help with his business and he said he didn't want any permanent record of his sex work.  So he did sex work for at least a couple of years (the time I hired him) and had at least one regular client, but for all intents and purposes almost no one knew he was doing sex work.  I'm writing all of this to say that I believe such men surely exist today -- the problem for prospective clients is where/how to find them.

Now, broadly speaking, I get the point that there are many, many handsome young men who could be successful in sex work because they are so attractive, but as others have written there are a variety of reasons why someone would choose not to do this line of work and also many reasons why someone who's attractive might try it and then realize that it isn't for them.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

4 hours ago, maninsoma said:

There is one big problem with your question: You are assuming facts not in evidence.  Just because someone doesn't have an obvious online presence as an escort doesn't mean he hasn't at least occasionally done sex work. 

Not to mention: I’m seeing many examples of guys who may not be escorts, but they are marrying or partnering up with older, somewhat less attractive White (and occasionally even other races who happen to be well off) men. 

So you’re definitely right on that. Lot of these guys out here be getting partnered for security…