Luv2play

I grew up in a non-smoking house and had parents who actively discouraged smoking. This was back in the 50's and 60's when smoking was pervasive. Over my 75 years I have seen a revolution in sttitudes about smoking and today very frw of my friends, famlly or acquaintances smoke. 
I used to hate the smell of cigarette smoke in confined places like planes and bars. In the 70's if you went to a gay bar it was smoke filled, like straight bars too. I certainly exposed myself to a lot of second hand smoke.
I agree its a cultural thing and now a class thing too. The better educated and higher income earners are not so likely to smoke now. I tend to move in those circles.lol.

I grew up in a non-smoking house and had parents who actively discouraged smoking. This was back in the 50's and 60's when smoking was pervasive. Over my 75 years I have seen a revolution in sttitudes about smoking and today very frw of my friends, famlly or acquaintances smoke. 
I used to hate the smell of cigarette smoke in confined places like planes and bars. In the 70's if you went to a gay bar it was smoke filled, like straight bars too. I certainly exposed myself to a lot of second hand smoke.
I agree its a cultural thing and now a class thing too. The better educated and higher income earners are not so likely to smoke now. I tend to move in those circles.lol.

I tend to discount those types of photos in ads for escorts. In reality the body belonging to those images is never what appears at the door.

Opposites attract is true except when it's not. (Not to be trite.) Maybe it's coincidence, maybe shared sexual preference reflects other shared interests. Since this isn't a public advice column (well, Dan Savage may agree), perhaps meeting the urge to top could be fulfilled by a third participant. Or by agreeing that play outside the relationship, hookup or hire, is a possible solution. Hoping, or worse, expecting your top partner to flip sounds like a recipe for disappointment. 
But I'm not a top so what would I know?

Did similarly with my niece and nephew for HS & her college.  Fortunately, their grandfather died and left them both a decent chunk of change a few years ago, so (since I just lost my part-time job & have to get by on disability) I had no problem giving my nephew a hug in lieu of cash last week when he graduated college (with a degree in cannabis management... just what my sister had dreamed of when he was a baby).
It was his own fault he missed out on the gift she got...  he's 3 1/2 years older, but took 10 years to graduate... partly due to cannabis, ironically...

I know this is switching it around (as in this is the client’s requirement of the provider) but I have a client who doesn’t want me hygienic; he specifically wants me to not shower beforehand, not wear deodorant and be a bit sweaty (maybe after a gym session) when I meet him. He likes that musty sweaty smell. 

Same here. In the 90s the gay pride parades were still fun. They seem to have since been overtaken by angry Lesbians who couldn't get married. Once they passed marriage equality they found another dozen things to complain about.
Too much freak-show now. Not enough cute guys.

I can't remember the last time I went to a gay bar. I think my last pride festival was maybe 25 years ago. I was already realizing these weren't the events or "community" for me anymore. To each his own. Let the younger kids have their fun! 

Well said!
Avoid crowded public transit.  Take your personal vehicle.  Don't leave home without your personal firearm and conceal carry permit.  Avoid ZIP codes with high density, low income, and transient populations.  Don't visit crowded sidewalks or block parties unless you've reserved a place in the VIP section with private security.
Common sense, really.

Well…at the end of the day we can’t allow possibilities to ruin the fun. We have to try to still enjoy things even in the face of concern. Hell, the latest “gathering” incident occurred at a Kansas City football parade. I wasn’t there for it, but I’ve seen how the Kansas City people can be in large crowds so, I wasn’t interested from the get go. 
 
Also smaller city prides may be safer than big ones like New York and Los Angeles. Some cities are underrated for their pride events: Denver, Des Moines in Iowa, St. Pete in Florida. Maybe Buffalo probably has a good one themselves. 
I think like someone suggested, staying aware and alert (which means avoiding getting overly intoxicated/using drugs), and avoiding tightly packed crowded sections can likely make a difference. I’ve always found it safer to spectate from the edge of a large crowd, and that’s regardless terrorist or not. Just helps keep distance and avoids drama. That’s at any event whether 4th of July parade or gay pride.
I’ve also noticed police presence at most pride parades are really on point. In some ways, I don’t want to see them because it feels like a protest, but in other ways it means it’s hard to get away with anything mischievous.

I love the depiction of imperial as ‘normal’ 🙂. 
Height should be in feet and inches.
Distance in miles unless I’m running then it’s in kilometres.
Weight is in imperial (stone) if it’s a body or kilos if it’s on a barbell.
And …Cock size is always in inches…. I know what 8 inches feels like but 20.3 cm is just unknowable.
 
 
 
 

lots of people have dietary restrictions for one reason or another.  it’s how you handle it and communicate the restrictions only when necessary.  
it does seem like some people use it as an attention-seeking ploy & it gets blown wildly out of proportion.  
If someone really has a bunch of rigid requirements then they should  1)pick the restaurant  2)stay in a hotel  3)do their own grocery shopping 4)decline most dinner invitations at someones home
having a guest for dinner or a brief stay is supposed to be enjoyable & not a ton of work for the host. when it turns into something else - that’s a no 
learning how to just say no - without any further explanation is a true life-hack.  You don’t need a reason 

It sounds like her medical issues are sublimated narcissism, like she expects the whole world to kneel like vassals at her feet.
Even though you made one heck of an effort to accommodate her, instead of so much as a speck of gratitude for all you did, she hammers away at all the ways you fell short and failed.  Charming.
I'm guessing she wasn't like this before, otherwise you wouldn't have become such close friends.  But she's a different person now, one who storms through life brandishing a shield of MY NEEDS.
Treasure the memories of the friendship you used to have, but cut the person she has become out of your life.

I don’t tolerate that nonsense.

I’ve noticed that in general, people who live alone have a whole lot more ajita about everything and bring that bandwidth with them when visiting others. Partnered people are more used to toning their excesses. The Celiac thing is her way of expressing her specialness. It’s not you…in the future keep the visits short. 

At the outset, let me say I want to be empathetic and supportive of people with whatever issues they have. I don’t think Celiac disease or gluten intolerance is fake. So let’s get that out of the way.
I had a friend visit for four days. We hadn’t seen each other since before the pandemic. She comes and before she comes she sends me an email with various dietary concerns that I need to be aware of as far as her Celiac disease and milk sensitivity (not lactose). Okay. Noted. She also has a dog dandruff allergy. Noted. I had my house cleaners over to do a deep clean, especially of her room, since I have a dog and three cats. I told them about her Celiac disease and the dog issue and that they needed to be extra attentive to the kitchen and the room she would be using.
She arrives. Proceeds to hang over my shoulder the whole I’m making duck, brussel sprouts, and oven roasted potatoes – intentionally GF. As I’m cooking, she gets in the cabinet under my sink and starts spraying down the counter and wiping it down. Lunch the next day she eats the soup and CUCUMBER she brought along and not the squash soup I made special without gluten or milk product…When it’s time to buy things for breakfast, “Make sure the bacon is gluten free.” How could I possibly forget?! I got one that was GF but – aha! – color added! I could eat but she wouldn’t. We could have leftovers Saturday night, she says. Now – I don’t do leftovers except for lunch or when I’m in a hurry in the evening. If I can cook, I cook. I tell her she can have leftovers; I’m having grilled salmon, macaroni and cheese (without a roux because I’m aware that opening a flour bag could make flour particles with gluten airborne) and spinach. She about shit because I was going to use gluten pasta. I told her the gluten wouldn’t jump up and attack her.
I work with a woman who has Celiac disease but you‘d never know it because she doesn’t broadcast it. But my friend makes her whole life about it, or at least our visit revolved around it. There must be two types of people with gluten issues. Those who deal with it themselves and try to go on with their lives and those who expect the rest us who don’t have gluten issues to live just like them if we’re going to be in any kind of relationship with them.
The past four days made me seriously consider if I’m really that difficult a person to live with, set in my ways, if I should give up ever thinking about a partnership relationship. I felt a bit gaslit to be honest. But upon reflection, while I have strong preferences and routines and habits, I don’t think this was all me.
What did people do before Celiac disease became so widely known about? It’s been known for a long time, but it seems only recently has it risen to a forefront concern like providing non-alcoholic options for folks who can’t have alcohol. If you ate gluten before everyone and their brother knew about Celiac disease or gluten issues, what happened? No snark intended (well, maybe a little).
Any thoughts? Am I being crotchety? 

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

Honey…..you let a whore into the room with the expensive antique chairs?
Your mother taught you better than that.
"Antiques are for the husbands. IKEA is for the whores."
This one’s on you. 

Make the whole sugar daddy thing illegal If you want legal constistency. Rents in Hell’s Kitchen and WeHo would collapse,  youngsters would likely read more in the evenings, and gay men above the age of X would have better retirement account balances. 

The best time I ever had was during the pandemic when I paid $2000 for two nights with the day in between. This guy came 3 times each night and once during the day in the kitchen while I was making lunch. I got a protein shake. 

I grew up in a non-smoking house and had parents who actively discouraged smoking. This was back in the 50's and 60's when smoking was pervasive. Over my 75 years I have seen a revolution in sttitudes about smoking and today very frw of my friends, famlly or acquaintances smoke. 
I used to hate the smell of cigarette smoke in confined places like planes and bars. In the 70's if you went to a gay bar it was smoke filled, like straight bars too. I certainly exposed myself to a lot of second hand smoke.
I agree its a cultural thing and now a class thing too. The better educated and higher income earners are not so likely to smoke now. I tend to move in those circles.lol.

I intentionally overprice my overnights at $2k because I really don’t like doing them. It has to be worth my while to put aside the high value I place on quality restful sleep and time to myself at night to regroup emotionally and mentally.
If I were trying to get clients to book me more frequently for overnights, I might price somewhere more in the neighborhood of $1,500 for roughly twelve hours of my time, maybe a little more time including an earlier evening activity like dinner or a date, depending on what the client wants.
The client wanting an overnight often wants to have sex multiple times all night (which is fine), or otherwise wake me up a lot and I basically don’t sleep much if at all, definitely not anything restful. Plus the client snores, and I snore. It’s annoying for everyone involved.
Then morning sex. Again, that’s fine, but it’s a whole production if I need to bottom in the morning. Topping again after having cum multiple times in the past few hours, it’s more difficult to perform at my best. Also, I am not looking or feeling my best until I shower in the morning, so that has to happen as soon as I wake up. I get pretty crabby otherwise. The level of effort to be “on” and perform for overnights is high, so I charge dearly for it.
I would be more open to negotiating a lower rate if the client had a suite with a separate place to sleep. By sleep I mean actual sleep. The playtime can still happen in the client’s bed, and cuddles and all the rest, but the actual sleeping part is way better when I have some acoustical and physical separation. Plus negotiate based on expectations. For example, is this an all night fuck festival, or are we going to sleep by 2am? Things like that.
TBH I don’t see as much value in overnights. I think you get a much better value hiring me for 5 hours before midnight for $1k. But that’s just me.

The most I was quoted was $4000 for an overnight. He has glowing reviews on this site, so I thought I’d reach out. He seemed very nice. Unfortunately, I could not afford his price. He then offered $3,500. I thanked him, and said that was sadly out of my budget; I would honor if I could. I asked about his hourly rate — I was quoted $500 p/h with a min of 2 hours = $1,000.

I don't think anyone likes to be awakened while they are at work.

Not if you're working and they're clients...