DWnyc

I would say here, since it is a business, if there is sufficient evidence (a pattern seen with multiple folks with similar features, or the provider says so literally or almost literally) the provider should be exposed for whatever criteria they have if they don’t have it in their ad.
If they really do reject clients who are older or fatter or not of the ethnicity they want as a donor, and if that is not clear in their profile (likely as they don’t want to sound like an ass) let the world know and the world can decide how to react. 
But of course one has to be very very certain before launching such a campaign against someone’s livelihood. 

My vehement opposition to deposits (paper trail aside) is that I’ve never had one returned where I’ve felt it should have been; providers suddenly switch from being “so professional” business folk to blubbering “almost destitute” types - “I can’t give it back … I spent it for rent / groceries / my family etc. you don’t know how tough things are for me right now ..,” (even though it wasn’t theirs to spend until the appointment was over). 
Not saying everyone taking a deposit would be like this, but this business seems to exhibit Jeckyl and Hyde behavior more than most.

I have a friend who - let’s just say for the point of this anecdote - is older and fatter than gay civilization tolerates.
he has a regular engagement with a prominent provider in our geography. Their interaction is respectful, the provider encourages him to extend sessions, meet more regularly, tells him he enjoys it as well etc etc 
he also sees the provider popping up every so often on one of the online hookup apps. He initiated contact once not realizing who it was, and maybe the provider didn’t recognize him either, but he got an instant rejection being told directly he was too old and fat.
my friend sort of enjoys playing - so reaches out on the hookup app anonymously to tease the provider every so often. (I’ve told him not to as he may get caught out and it would kill his regular sessions that he enjoys). And gets abusive responses totally out of whack with the comms in their sessions.
anyway the point being when there’s a transaction involved most providers will relax whatever criteria they may have for hooking up with someone in their real lives. And that’s part of the point of the business model. 

I’ve never sent any happy birthday / Christmas etc texts to clients unless they sent one first to me and in that case then I reply in kind. I don’t like to send unsolicited messages. 
It’s a nice idea though if clients are open to receiving such marketing. Maybe I’ll add a box to my booking confirmations…something like:
”If you would like to receive texts or emails with offers and information please tick the box. Your data will not be sold or used by any third party or for any other purpose than to inform you of products or services that may be of interest to you”. 
Then I can draft a template text or email for my mailing tool to generate the messages to my clients. Something like:
Dear [Big boy / Pumpkin / HungDaddy] have a great [21st, 50th, 103rd] birthday! I hope your [massive / fun sized / PA adorned] cock is getting plenty of action on your special day 🍆💦.
***(Select 1, 2 or both as appropriate depending on client’s preference)***
1 My [mouth / bum ] is available for your attention with a special offer of 20% off this weekend. Buy the ‘both holes’ package and get an extra 5% off!
2 My [cock / tongue / right arm😱] is available to service you this weekend with 20% off pre sale prices. Buy the ‘ass to mouth’ special and get an extra 5% off! 
Terms and conditions apply. Availability subject to demand. 
If you wish to opt out of mailing list please complete the form hidden at the bottom of my website and send two forms of ID not including your password or drivers license.
Best wishes 
[Jamie / J 😘 / Your Masseur]
 



 

 

I filled out an online application 3 weeks ago and they’re still reviewing it. I’ve opened a bunch of other accounts and CDs in the meantime. Ding. 

I would say that asking such a question up front before even meeting with the masseur is a clear sign that you are seeking more than a massage.

sounds like good marketing 

A masseur sent me a GIF of roses 🌹 on feb 14 once which was sweet 
another provider I saw on my birthday; he bought dinner and gave me flowers and bought me a gift. I wasn’t expecting any of that
we’ve shared a few holiday texts
its not real in the way I’d like it to be but it is what it is
someone famous told me once that every relationship is transactional 
thats true, I suppose

yes, and they mean as much as the ones from my plumber and dentist. 
it's the thought that counts ! $$

I have mixed feelings. I think it was helpful to know who is who. Also, based on the time they spent there, the frequency of their posting, and the blatant bitterness, it looks like some poor lonely guys do not have another place to vent their grievances. 
Besides, I wonder how we will keep politics out of the conversations. The same homophobia and racism that a few posters bragged about, will show up when we discuss non-political issues. After all, (nonpartisan) politics is everywhere. 

It’s a business, not a dating service. I never reject a client based on age, weight, or looks. If they’re paying, they’re welcome. If I only hired under 40 clients, I would never be able to support myself. Providers with lots of client qualification hangups do not last long in the biz. They are not worth your $. Hire respectful providers. When they aren’t respectful toward you, move on.
Tip for anyone, really. Never explain the reason for rejecting someone online whether for work or personal. There is no positive outcome for them or for you to do so.
Don’t play games on hookup apps. It’s one thing to have communication on Rent Men, Rent Masseur, etc. Outside of those purpose built platforms, it just wastes your time and theirs to go fish. Don’t spoil it. Get what you want. Just hire.

Yea. I'm a stereotypical "bear" and my partner of 14 years was fucking jacked. Like IFBB stage competition level jacked.
The one thing I learned a long time ago is that natural masculinity + being calm and cool and comfortable + self-confidence = being able to attract anyone you want. 

There's an entire subculture of bears and their admirers, so not all gay men are obsessed with skinny or muscular guys. 

I would say ask away 
the ones that get uppity about you crossing a line are very much in the minority or channeling another reason they don’t want to deal with you (eg age, race etc)
Providers know full well if an inquiry comes in through one of the Rm sites what expectations can be.
but clients should also understand that a provider’s polite setting of boundaries on what they offer is different from them being offended
 

Your standards / situation don’t necessarily apply to others
The OP could likely have still met the unprofessional provider by handling it differently but why should he have to especially after paying a deposit? 

My favorite provider of all time has hired providers in his personal life 10-12+ times. He did it to sort through the "app" bullshit (Grindr, etc..) and get straight to the point when he wanted to fuck and not have many strings.  I have a hard time believing someone that good fucking looking would do that, but he was being genuine and had very valid reasons and lots of stories. It does make sense if you think about it. You're paying for reliability in that scenario and don't want to bother with the flakiness. 

I recently saw a review in RM by a provider I had previously hired of another provider who I only recognized by his own ad on RM. He gave a great review of the other provider.
Ironically I didn't review the one I had been with because he was a dud.

Many years ago in NYC, after a pleasant romp, a provider and I lay in bed and looked through a copy of the Advocate "pink pages" together, commenting to one another on each of the providers whom we had hired or slept with. He had had experiences with many of the same guys I had hired.

Your standards / situation don’t necessarily apply to others
The OP could likely have still met the unprofessional provider by handling it differently but why should he have to especially after paying a deposit? 

Your standards / situation don’t necessarily apply to others
The OP could likely have still met the unprofessional provider by handling it differently but why should he have to especially after paying a deposit? 

I dont follow your logic. If a legit provider does not have good management skils they should not ask for deposits - a deal is a deal; if you take the deposit you show up at the appointed time. If you cant be there on time you return the deposit. If you don’t, you are not legit in my opinion, and are a rip off.
My brother is far more important to me than the king of england. You have interesting priorities.
You were wrong to pay a deposit. He was wrong as a no show and to not return your deposit. I object to his usage of “gentleman” in his profile name - he isnt acting like any gentleman in my book! 

Haha! Then there are a lot of sinners!

My local barber used to charge $10 before covid. Since he reopened last year he charges $25. So I have halved the frequency with which I visit him.
He asked why I don’t come every month like I used to, and I told him I can’t afford to at his new rates.
He got his mirror and showed me my scalp. “Don’t worry sir, you have less hair these days anyway, it’s probably the right frequency for you” 

I have a friend who - let’s just say for the point of this anecdote - is older and fatter than gay civilization tolerates.
he has a regular engagement with a prominent provider in our geography. Their interaction is respectful, the provider encourages him to extend sessions, meet more regularly, tells him he enjoys it as well etc etc 
he also sees the provider popping up every so often on one of the online hookup apps. He initiated contact once not realizing who it was, and maybe the provider didn’t recognize him either, but he got an instant rejection being told directly he was too old and fat.
my friend sort of enjoys playing - so reaches out on the hookup app anonymously to tease the provider every so often. (I’ve told him not to as he may get caught out and it would kill his regular sessions that he enjoys). And gets abusive responses totally out of whack with the comms in their sessions.
anyway the point being when there’s a transaction involved most providers will relax whatever criteria they may have for hooking up with someone in their real lives. And that’s part of the point of the business model. 

I have a friend who - let’s just say for the point of this anecdote - is older and fatter than gay civilization tolerates.
he has a regular engagement with a prominent provider in our geography. Their interaction is respectful, the provider encourages him to extend sessions, meet more regularly, tells him he enjoys it as well etc etc 
he also sees the provider popping up every so often on one of the online hookup apps. He initiated contact once not realizing who it was, and maybe the provider didn’t recognize him either, but he got an instant rejection being told directly he was too old and fat.
my friend sort of enjoys playing - so reaches out on the hookup app anonymously to tease the provider every so often. (I’ve told him not to as he may get caught out and it would kill his regular sessions that he enjoys). And gets abusive responses totally out of whack with the comms in their sessions.
anyway the point being when there’s a transaction involved most providers will relax whatever criteria they may have for hooking up with someone in their real lives. And that’s part of the point of the business model.