DWnyc

@DWnyc, he didn’t say we’re done. That’s partly why I asked about ghosting. No such message ever was received. He always complained about people not being decent enough to communicate even if it was unpleasant, but then he seemingly does the same thing. I need to take my own wisdom and remember that escorts aren’t friends and you can’t expect them to act that way. 

You did the right thing my bailing.  I’ve never had a problem like that but I would bail

I was at a stripper event recently and approached a good-looking dancer. After some small talk, I took him up on a couple of lapdances to test the waters, and it turns out that the waters were pretty fantastic. It was made clear that the menu would expand considerably for a private dance. 
We returned to the floor for a drink. I had decided that I was going to take him up on on the offer for the champagne room. But, apparently two lapdances is all he needed to get comfortable philosophically as well as physically.
Without a lot of preamble or prompting, he made it clear that he generally doesn’t give dances to people of color but asians are okay. Honestly, I was too shocked to ask why and his views on race sounded pretty toxic. 
I have such a strong aversion to racism that this shut down any chance of me giving him any more money or attention. I decided not to "have it out" with him, I figured it wouldn't do much good anyway so I told him that I forgot about something and bailed.
Not necessarily looking for advice but the experience has stayed with me and I can’t seem to forget it. How would you handle a similar situation?

What a dick! I think you did the right thing. Personally I would have called him out for it and told him I regretted my interactions with him. Many people get to go through life being actively racist without confrontation. Many people wouldn't change if it did result in a confrontation. But it's always a possibility that something can get through to people. We aren't born racist we are taught it - and we can unlearn it.

And even if it does … why single out one provider under discussion here while many many others also list it. Use / tolerance is far more widespread than the comments here might suggest (including among providers)
I’m not expressing opinion on the morals or danger of usage here but am surprised whenever the subject comes up how out of sync with prevalence the discussion sometimes becomes. 

My favorites are the ones who don’t reply within a reasonable time or suddenly ghost you in the middle of back and forth … and then out of the blue suddenly start bombarding you with replies and immediately Move to “are you actually serious about meeting? Let me know asap!”
Opportunity cost is what the economists call it, I believe.
 

My favorites are the ones who don’t reply within a reasonable time or suddenly ghost you in the middle of back and forth … and then out of the blue suddenly start bombarding you with replies and immediately Move to “are you actually serious about meeting? Let me know asap!”
Opportunity cost is what the economists call it, I believe.
 

What round are you winning here exactly?
I don’t think those on here who have a policy of not paying deposits have been swayed by your arguments (together with your frequent references to - as you put it “what could happen when one doesn’t” with naughty smiley, which reinforces some fears for many of u)s. 
And that’s fine.
Some here seem to be ok with deposits - and you can stick with clients like those. 

The world has not changed in the last 48 hours 😊

I’ll bet he’s known as “the virgin guy” on 3 different sex worker group chats. 

A friend of mine was an escort for several years and told me a few stories he's heard:
"Yeah, this is my house/car" when it was clearly an AirBnB/rental, etc. "I work in this big important job!" or "I'm a very important _______ in government!" "I've never done this before" In the end...  he said it never really mattered.  As long he paid, if they wanted that story... so be it.  That was just them living a fetish or fantasy.  

My favorites are the ones who don’t reply within a reasonable time or suddenly ghost you in the middle of back and forth … and then out of the blue suddenly start bombarding you with replies and immediately Move to “are you actually serious about meeting? Let me know asap!”
Opportunity cost is what the economists call it, I believe.
 

This seems very true from anecdotal experience. I constantly hear bi / straight guys say that they stay away from Prep and other services primarily because they don’t want prescriptions or services in their record. They don’t want the risk of their partners, employers, the government etc finding out. Or be put in a category by their insurance companies.
Regardless of if that is a rational position it needs to be addressed for true disease prevention / protection of others. 
In some countries you can walk into a pharmacy and buy prep and other antiretrovirals without a prescription but that doesn’t address regular testing and monitoring for side effects. 
 
 

Well I’m sure there are some “cheaters” but what are we really saying - we’re worried leaving a paper trail exposes clients to providers chasing them for some reason afterward (that may expose “cheaters”). But also anyone who wants discretion for whatever reason - and there are plenty. For some that discretion is why they seek out providers in the first place. 
Besides when did this business become the moral police re individuals personal relationship status?
Yes it’s 2023 - a lot can be done with someone’s identity, financial app details etc.
And of course one of the biggest reasons for not paying a deposit is not knowing if the provider will actually show up or deliver. 

Come now, aren’t 90% of the discussions on here repetitions of prior ones?
Clients are also taking risks including either letting a stranger into their place or visiting someone else’s territory.
Many clients  - for a range of reasons - require anonymity and no paper trail for payments. That part of the hobby is not going to change any time soon. And that is why deposits for any other service are not comparable. 

Doesn’t change anything my friend.
I will never pay deposits to a provider. And if that doesn’t work for him, and that’s totally his prerogative, that’s fine because he won’t be getting my business and we can go our separate ways.
As always, good luck to you 😊

Doesn’t change anything my friend.
I will never pay deposits to a provider. And if that doesn’t work for him, and that’s totally his prerogative, that’s fine because he won’t be getting my business and we can go our separate ways.
As always, good luck to you 😊

Most of these guys are nowhere near your geography and will be swapping out profiles and their own burner numbers regularly, and are targeting hundreds of folks, so the odds are that in a few weeks he himself will have no record of you.
I travel a lot for work and every so often I’ll recognize a profile pic I often see in my home city (one from which you’d never suspect anything odd) and while I initially thought it meant that person was traveling too there were just too many of them and I’m sure many of these are scammers posting in multiple locations. They are also “too good to be true” - very attractive folks looking to meet you after just a couple of texts, loving everything about you, being into exactly what you are etc.  And because some are automated (AI getting increasingly sophisticated) or based overseas (with no offense to anyone) - look out for bad English or language that doesn’t seem naturally flowing. 

Most of these guys are nowhere near your geography and will be swapping out profiles and their own burner numbers regularly, and are targeting hundreds of folks, so the odds are that in a few weeks he himself will have no record of you.
I travel a lot for work and every so often I’ll recognize a profile pic I often see in my home city (one from which you’d never suspect anything odd) and while I initially thought it meant that person was traveling too there were just too many of them and I’m sure many of these are scammers posting in multiple locations. They are also “too good to be true” - very attractive folks looking to meet you after just a couple of texts, loving everything about you, being into exactly what you are etc.  And because some are automated (AI getting increasingly sophisticated) or based overseas (with no offense to anyone) - look out for bad English or language that doesn’t seem naturally flowing. 

Well done and very brave of you. 

I am going to repeat this again:
Never, never openly  discuss prostitution with a provider.
Everything you do on the internet is open to be used against you because it's all being tracked and stored by someone.
Pay for a massage. Book a massage. If the person looks promising in-person then negotiate in-person for a happier ending or for a second more sex focused  meet up.
 

Please be on time 🤣😂

Kind of like the sob story you're giving off now?
While I agree 1000% what was done to you was completely wrong and I'm glad you stood up to the guy and kicked him out, clients get scammed often too. Maybe that sentence was in reference to guys outside of this forum, but like a posted said in this thread, clients on this site are ready to-go and book with a provider. So when guys on here say they don't pay deposits it's for a reason. 
I definitely agree that in general people are more shittier and have no empathy. It really intensified IMO when covid lockdowns hit, and now that it's over it's the wild wild west in society.
As for hotels even pre-pandemic I've always had to pay deposits from high-end hotels to regular chains like Holiday Inns etc. 
Pretty much. 
And thats always been my rule until late last year. I had been in talks with a straight aspiring bodybuilder. When a night was locked in and ready-to-go he asked for a $60 deposit. I NEVER do deposits but considering the time, the anticipation of finally getting with this guy, and my hormones going off I didn't think things through properly. I was hesitant but still moved forward and sent him a $40 deposit. He accepted it, blocked me on all platforms and "disappeared" (I had been following some of his gym buddies on socials so I saw he was still around). 
Lesson learned and I'm never doing deposits again. 
I'm sorry to read what you've been through @Jarrod_Uncut but when it comes to deposits and being scammed I feel both providers and clients deal with risks when it comes to that subject. But I'll assume providers definitely deal with the risks more. I am glad you kicked the POS out. I'm not sure what he was expecting to happen when he arrived.   

What round are you winning here exactly?
I don’t think those on here who have a policy of not paying deposits have been swayed by your arguments (together with your frequent references to - as you put it “what could happen when one doesn’t” with naughty smiley, which reinforces some fears for many of u)s. 
And that’s fine.
Some here seem to be ok with deposits - and you can stick with clients like those. 

The world has not changed in the last 48 hours 😊

Doesn’t change anything my friend.
I will never pay deposits to a provider. And if that doesn’t work for him, and that’s totally his prerogative, that’s fine because he won’t be getting my business and we can go our separate ways.
As always, good luck to you 😊

What round are you winning here exactly?
I don’t think those on here who have a policy of not paying deposits have been swayed by your arguments (together with your frequent references to - as you put it “what could happen when one doesn’t” with naughty smiley, which reinforces some fears for many of u)s. 
And that’s fine.
Some here seem to be ok with deposits - and you can stick with clients like those. 

The world has not changed in the last 48 hours 😊