DWnyc

We don’t know you … your reasons might not be others’. Whether or not he’s your preference (worthy of PM) is less important than your observations (could be useful for the forum).

I’m less concerned about negativity if it’s warranted. I don’t like pineapple on my pizza but many of my friends do. None of us like rotting pineapple though … 

Good for the providers who can make multiple profiles work without losing credibility. They may have figured out on their own what companies spend millions of dollars trying to get right i.e. marketing the same product to different customer segments. 

On 4/1/2023 at 12:41 AM, Vulgarii said:

It's fun encountering protective clients looking for budget prostitution, and it's more fun making fun of them when they try to haggle.

Clients are not obligated to make appointments and pay unilaterally determined rates just because a provider wants them to. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, mutually agreed.

Providers can have all the fun in the world making fun of prospective clients if they feel they have the means. But that time and energy might be better spent thinking up strategies to be more responsive to market forces. 

On 3/31/2023 at 4:56 AM, MscleLovr said:

I agree with this. I have a small number of good friends. My “acid test” for friendship is whether I could call them at 2am asking for help and know they would respond. 

Not if they have turned on the  “do not disturb” feature on their iPhones 😊

I agree not all providers listing that are necessarily doing that and that some list it as it signals they are open to clients doing it so as not to lose the business.

But whether providers list it or not, don’t assume they steer clear of it in their private lives where (as with barebacking) behavior has seen a huge shift in what is “normal” in recent years. 

There’s a difference between “I don’t want any of it around during my session” and “I don’t want to go near a provider into that stuff”.

4 hours ago, Thelatin said:

From my experience it sounds like many providers deal with penny pinchers, and get tired of it.  For whatever reason I tend to get away with not discussing rates when I hire.

They show up, there is a generous amount of money on the table.  They tend to stick around for 4-5 hours.  So they end up at a rate of 225-250 an hour.

Never had a complaint.

 

The penny pinchers as you refer to them finance the providers lives. They get tired of it? Let them Flfind people who can fund their expectations, unrealistic and grossly offensive as they may be.

Funnily it’s an option offered by many providers in NY if they can’t or won’t host in a hotel or in their own place 

I have been asked pretty much every time with a new provider if I was interested in that. Not all would have listed it. 

To reiterate, it’s a little redundant to express horror or announce how it’s a criteria to rule out a provider (who may be a user himself even if he doesn’t list it). 

Those keeping quiet are smartly not broadcasting their own use but also not being counted for empirical purposes  

22 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

In my experience, that's one of the many advantages of hiring repeats - - - he gives the extra 10 mins to keep your business!

Or short changes you because he can get away with it … 😊

English is kind of not my first language.

On a typical day I exchange emails, texts and conversations with many people for whom it is.

No comment on rating relative communication abilities just based on first language definition  

Was once in a hotel bar in my 20s and a guy in his 60s came up to me and said “please take this as a compliment but I would like to pay you if you come up to my room and spend an hour with me”. I laughed uncomfortably and looked the other way. 

About an hour later as I was leaving I saw him giving instructions to uniformed cops who were putting handcuffs on a young guy. 

And yes, beware the bait and switch approach. Horny doesn’t always mean generous, and bruised egos from someone who thought you might have been genuinely into them, especially when drunk and high, can do funny things to one’s adrenaline.

They may not be done … they may not just be available to you in the way you Want them to be at that time.

Don’t know what was being asked of the client and if any boundaries may have been crossed by general standards (as opposed to yours).

Trends vary regionally but I’ve found in my geography (east coast from DC up to Boston) prices are definitely coming down.  I haven’t been active recently for a bunch of reasons and several former regulars have reached out offering me lower rates to reengage, on average down to $200/hr from $300 last xmas. One even said $175 since we are “old friends” apparently, and another said $150 if I booked at least 2 hours (previously $300/hr).

And no mention of deposit (sorry had to throw that in 😊)

I assume with increasing layoffs there are also more men entering the business or increasing their hours (vs other jobs they had) so there’s more competition. I definitely see a bunch of new faces in mY immediate geography.

@Jarrod_Uncut it’s fine and sensible to have target pricing based on your costs and breakeven / profit goals, but that can’t dictate what your local geography will tolerate, the market just doesn’t work that way. You certainly shouldn’t invest upfront in anything unless you have good probability of recouping. 

Re female rates. I think it’s easier to find men for free online - and that’s part of what male providers are competing with. The price for male providers can only go up so much before the benefits of a the experience cease to justify the $$$. And as reading through these boards will tell you, clients don’t always have a perfect experience just as in real life, so once you discount for everything (more competition, tighter economy etc) trends in the months to come can only really go in one direction. 

One of the first providers I ever saw spent a lot of time telling me about a domestic abuse situation with his partner, and about financial troubles since he lost his day job.

Being inexperienced in the hobby, I went into “close friend” mode, which seemed natural given we were lying together naked, and gave him some uncalled for advice on both issues.

He leapt up and said I had crossed a line, I was so “offensive” to make assumptions about what was right for hmm,  and asked me to leave.

I was a little shocked, and a little sad (again in “friend” mode) but when I look back and based on what I now know and have experienced in the provider/client dynamic I understand boundaries better, though I also wonder how much of what he told me was even real. 

I did send him an apology shortly after which he graciously acknowledged. I also offered to book another session with no mention of these subjects but he didn’t reply to that. 

1 hour ago, Jaroslav said:

Eh. There I disagree. A friendship is different. Friendships don’t depend on “business doing well.” In fact, friendships will overcome difficulties quicker than transitional relationships. A friend doesn’t just disappear when the going gets tough.

Again, not a problem as long as it’s kept in perspective. As you say, you can be friendly with your doctor, but you’re not friends.

It’s partly a matter of definition. The difference between acquaintances and friends for some, or close friends vs other friends for others. It’s like your work friends who you might not have anything in common with once you switch jobs, or your college friends outside your innermost circle once you leave. 

If the test of a relationship being defined as friendship is sticking around when the going gets tough I doubt there’s much scope for provider - client “friendship”. But that definition would result in a small number of friendships under any scenario. It’s not necessailry a matter of being a bad friend / not a friend - there’s the issue of bandwidth / emotional energy / “I didn’t sign up for this …” etc as well. 

On 3/26/2023 at 5:57 PM, DruJac said:

I appreciate that. I’m worried now that this dose of realism in what is supposed to be a fantasy space has killed the magic.

Even I forget sometimes that it is a workplace for them after all. 

Don’t let it.

Just appreciate the times that are fun all the more and appreciate the providers working to give you that. 

37 minutes ago, Jaroslav said:

@DWnyc, he didn’t say we’re done. That’s partly why I asked about ghosting. No such message ever was received. He always complained about people not being decent enough to communicate even if it was unpleasant, but then he seemingly does the same thing. I need to take my own wisdom and remember that escorts aren’t friends and you can’t expect them to act that way. 

Sorry I misunderstood. 

They don’t have to be friends … but can be … depending on how that’s defined and it can mean different things for people … but even if they don’t consider themselves as your friend they can be friendly. 

One can be friends with ones doctor, lawyer, business clients and partners … and sometimes those are dependent on the business side going well … but doesn’t mean a warm relationship can’t be a form of friendship, 

As with many such provocateur questions here I think there really isn’t a right or wrong answer.

I would assume some providers would jump at the chance to make extra $ by offering this option.

Some would say it’s not worth the effort of preparing, risk of flaking etc.

Some would be insulted.

Some would interpret as naivety on how the business seems to work.

So in the absence of clearly defined guidelines, throw it all out there and see what sticks! 

On 3/26/2023 at 4:08 PM, Unicorn said:

his job entails ignoring any such preferences. Some people aren't meant for certain jobs, and this appeared to be the case here. 

Had this been say a restaurant, a government agency, an accounting firm etc one could make a complaint. 

And if the provider or business was dismissive, defensive, justifying preference as a constitutional right etc they would quickly change their tune once bad publicity derailed their nonsense. 

This unregulated business with cloudy legal status makes that hard. Keep your preference to your hookups and private life, none of my business. But if you want the right to earn money from those able to pay, you deserve all the disruption you get if you bring your preference to the workplace and enough people find it offensive. 

I think if someone lists that in their services, preferences or hashtags it’s pretty clear what it means.

No disrespect to anyone who really doesn’t think it’s obvious or doesn’t understand what it is but given prevalence,  I think we’re way past the point of having to feign naivety to maintain “good social standing” on this subject. 

Ghosting behavior is sometimes not ghosting.

Providers could have many reasons for not replying to a single message (vs cutting you off generally) including being overwhelmed with volume of messages from inquiries, they could have been with a client at the time etc and without an assistant managing their comms things can get missed. Or, to be blunt, drunk or high - I’ve been told more than once that’s a reason for not having replied.

Though I’m a little confused …  if he has already said “we’re done communicating …” why are you still reaching out? If he’s silent after telling you that, it might not be ghosting, rather telling you more explicitly not to communicate with him. 

Not a surprise, and issues that many have to deal with on a daily basis in all walks of life.

No disrespect meant to anyone, but I think some demographics (eg the dancer here) frequently fall back on their perceptions of superiority (not just on race, could be about age, assessment of their body/looks etc) to demean those interacting with them to try and narrow the gap they feel with them on power and status. The dancer must hate that something he despises has the economic power to be a customer he has to accommodate to pay his bills. 
 

Good for the OP for not facilitating that - with enough people standing up to him he may think about censoring his obnoxious behavior.

And I’ll add that this topic has come up a few times either directly or indirectly (eg why might a provider ask for a photo and is that ok) and it seems awkward for many to discuss, however well meaning they may be. Part of that is, it is hard for some to believe / understand something they don’t experience themselves. Please keep raising examples to educate all of us.

17 hours ago, FrankR said:

There is a lot of judgment in this thread. Some men on rentmen interpret PnP as “willing to smoke weed with you” - why assume it means hard drugs?  

And even if it does … why single out one provider under discussion here while many many others also list it. Use / tolerance is far more widespread than the comments here might suggest (including among providers)

I’m not expressing opinion on the morals or danger of usage here but am surprised whenever the subject comes up how out of sync with prevalence the discussion sometimes becomes. 

“The check’s in the mail …”

My favorites are the ones who don’t reply within a reasonable time or suddenly ghost you in the middle of back and forth … and then out of the blue suddenly start bombarding you with replies and immediately Move to “are you actually serious about meeting? Let me know asap!”

Opportunity cost is what the economists call it, I believe.