Have you ever wanted children?

[Rudynate]

Now and again, I think for a few minutes that it would be nice. Little Latin boys about two or three years old melt my heart, but it freezes up again as soon as they're out of sight.

[+ FreshFluff]

So my position now is - if I meet Mr. Right, AND he's significantly younger, AND he really wants kids, I'll do it.

 

That's precisely my position, minus the younger part. But if I want to leave that option open, I have to freeze my fluffy genetic material, which requires two weeks of hormone injections. Scares me.

 

I have very rarely wanted to be a mother. I figured I would parent the way I was parented. No thanks. I am grateful I never spawned.

T

 

"Never spawned" in the past tense? A few days ago, I learned that with the right medications/surgery, women can carry a pregnancy (using someone else's eggs) indefinitely. The eggs age, but the reproductive system itself does not.

[tyro]

"Never spawned" in the past tense? A few days ago, I learned that with the right medications/surgery, women can carry a pregnancy (using someone else's eggs) indefinitely. The eggs age, but the reproductive system itself does not.

Interesting!

However, I'm 43. The baby boat has long since sailed away. I'm actually considering getting my tubes tied to better enjoy any last hurrahs before menopause.

T

[Gvtire]

I am a twin also. More important, I am glad you provided additional information. Multiple births are common in my father's family. There are three other sets of twins now.

We adopted all them as teenagers, both times. It also helped that both of us were very young. We wanted an older sibling set. It was easier back then because there were no computers or cell phones for kids (this was the late 80's early 90's). We also had the mindset that we are your parents not your friend. Besides the normal teenager stuff. They tried a little scam in school to assume each other's identity when it came to taking tests, they failed miserably at this.

Edited October 17, 2017 by Gvtire

[Pepper Young]

Cats, yes. Children, no.

[Ghadd]

No. I'll admit it must be great to have adult kids who have become great people. But it takes YEARS for that to happen, and I'm not up for that. In the mean time, you have tiny creatures who depend 100% on you, 100% of the time. Not for me.

 

And, to quote the internet:

I have puppies instead of children. I would rather ruin my carpet than my life.

[Moondance]

I think I could have had a happy life without children. But I'm glad I've gotten to have a happy one with them.

I'll admit it must be great to have adult kids who have become great people.

You're right.

But it takes YEARS for that to happen ...

Sometimes, I suppose. Not always. Mine were great from the get-go.

[+ sniper]

My experience with parents and siblings who were somewhat less than fully functional adults, and ingrained Catholic guilt requiring me to pick up some of their slack to the detriment of my goals kind of soured me on the idea of voluntarily taking on the responsibility of a child. Honestly I'm still kind of pissed at my family about that.

[gallahadesquire]

My aunt (she's 92) met the man of her dreams. She also realized he would make a horrible father, so she never had kids.

 

Me? Never wanted them. Cats are much better.

 

A friend of mine is now cohabitating with his girlfriend and her kids, who are like 10 and 7.

"Just consider them intelligent dogs who don't need to be walked," I told him.

[+ OliverSaks]

I've thought about it here and there in the past, but I ruled it out for me about a decade ago. I'm happy to be an uncle, though. My brother has 2 kids and they love me almost as much as I love them!

For what it's worth, I think you would make a really awesome, loving father.

 

I'm leaning towards the uncle route too.

[Despardo]

I am more than content with the uncle (and great uncle) role. One gets to spoil the kids and doesn't have to deal with the consequences. And, at the end of the day, the parents take the kids with them and leave you in peace. I spent a lifetime learning to take care of myself and was in no position to deal with the responsibility of children. I enjoy children in small doses. I have had great success raising Labrador retrievers. I do not miss not having kids.

[Rudynate]

That's precisely my position, minus the younger part. But if I want to leave that option open, I have to freeze my fluffy genetic material, which requires two weeks of hormone injections. Scares me.

 

 

 

"Never spawned" in the past tense? A few days ago, I learned that with the right medications/surgery, women can carry a pregnancy (using someone else's eggs) indefinitely. The eggs age, but the reproductive system itself does not.

 

It seems to me that I have read of surrogates as old as early 60s. I think I remember reading of a mother who was her daughter's surrogate.

[+ Charlie]

I think I would have made a good father, but my partner of almost 50 years did not like kids and would have made a terrible parent, so I am glad it wasn't a serious possibility when we were young. Instead, we have had several dogs and a cat over the years, and I have managed to exercise my parenting impulses on them. I think about children more now that I am old, because the advantage of having children and grandchildren, if they are the right kind, is that one can finally depend on them for care rather than vice versa. I am lucky that I am somewhat close to a niece and nephew of my partner, because without them we would have no one of a younger generation to look to for support.

[+ purplekow]

My wife and I tried to have children and we ere devastated when we could not have them. When we first started to try she was diagnosed with cervical cancer whivh put the whoe idea on hold. Later, she wanted to try and chemotherapy had put her into premature menopause so she had multiple treatement and finally succeeded in producing eggs. She never produced enough to harvest though her totals eggs were increasing with each cycle. Her cancer returned and put the whole idea on the back burner. After she passed, I was glad that we did not have a child, as it would have been just too much to have a toddler and be a single dad with a career. I would have done it, but I believe it worked out for the best.

[marylander1940]

Side-By-Side ‘Before And After’ Photos Show What Having Kids Does To You

https://www.yahoo.com/news/side-side-photos-show-having-192824334.html

 

[+ sniper]

eh, some of those pictures are ten years apart and clearly posed to look bad.

[+ friendofsheila]

Have you ever wanted kids?

 

"Boiled or fried?" said the late, great W.C. Fields.

[+ Oliver]

Have you ever wanted kids? ...

Yes, and did! One born to us and two adopted. Wife now gone:(, but all three are marvelous adults whom I like (and love). I even like the people they have married!

[+ TylerandAce]

I have three and will happily loan them out for extended periods of time...they are housebroken and use proper grammar (most of the time). !!

[Bearofdistinction]

Have you ever wanted kids? If you were ever married to or dated a woman, did she have an overwhelming desire for kids. "Overwhelming desire" means that she goes crazy whenever she sees a kid, particularly a baby?

 

Edit: If you were straight and could palm the kids off on a wife, would it make a difference? For me, that would be ideal. I wouldn't need an overwhelming desire to have kids, just a basic desire to reproduce and a willingness to support my offspring. Someone else gets pregnant and delivers. I'd buy my wife a nanny to help her. At night, I'd "work late," have drinks with the guys, maybe have a few affairs. When I finally come home, the kids would be overjoyed. "Daddy!"

 

KIDS? In theory very nice --- In reality - I can hand the screamers back to my niece and say your

lil love muffins want their Mommy ---

 

Once they are calm and clean your Big Gay Uncle will make them laugh and put a Check into each one of their lil hats!

[+ FreshFluff]

For a woman, there is some prestige in having married at some point and/or in having borne a child.

 

It may be sexist, but people--not my family, fortunately--have told me, "You won't be young and attractive forever." Interestingly, a male client on this board said something similar, that a 50 y.o. man can't compete with a 20 y.o. boy in a club.

 

Richard Feynman put it more bluntly in his Nobel lecture:

"So what happened to the old theory that I fell in love with as a youth? Well, I would say it's become an old lady, that has very little attractive left in her and the young today will not have their hearts pound anymore when they look at her. But, we can say the best we can for any old woman, that she has been a very good mother and she has given birth to some very good children."

[Rudynate]

For a woman, there is some prestige in having married at some point and/or in having borne a child.

 

It may be sexist, but people--not my family, fortunately--have told me, "You won't be young and attractive forever." Interestingly, a male client on this board said something similar, that a 50 y.o. man can't compete with a 20 y.o. boy in a club.

 

Richard Feynman put it more bluntly in his Nobel lecture:

"So what happened to the old theory that I fell in love with as a youth? Well, I would say it's become an old lady, that has very little attractive left in her and the young today will not have their hearts pound anymore when they look at her. But, we can say the best we can for any old woman, that she has been a very good mother and she has given birth to some very good children."

 

 

And men who have fathered children also have a special attraction.

[gallahadesquire]

And men who have fathered children also have a special attraction.

 

On a good day, Disney World is replete with CYD's ... cute young daddys. You know the type: Tall, slender (but not necessarily lean), tanned and either an expression of shear joy for speending time with his kids or a look of utter frustration. The Mom nowhere to be seen.

 

He's just panting for attention that he doesn't get from Mom (who's pregnant again), nor his golf buddies, not his not-quite-out-but-claims-to-be-bisexual office assistent. Witha name like Lance or Victor [oops ...]

Edited October 19, 2017 by gallahadesquire

[Rudynate]

Oh, those young fathers!!

 

 

On a good day, Disney World is replete with CYD's ... cute young daddys. You know the type: Tall, slender (but not necessarily lean), tanned and either an expression of shear joy for speending time with his kids or a look of utter frustration. The Mom nowhere to be seen.

 

He's just panting for attention that he doesn't get from Mom (who's pregnant again), nor his golf buddies, not his not-quite-out-but-claims-to-be-bisexual office assistent. Witha name like Lance or Victor [oops ...}

[BasketBaller]

I do have to admit I'm envious of Basketballer, not that he's had it easy by any stretch.

 

It hasn't been easy but it's been rewarding. I knew I wanted kids ever since I worked in a basketball camp in high school with little kids, and found I enjoyed the interactions. When my wife and I got serious, we certainly talked about having children, but didn't intend to have them so soon! But a condom broke a couple of months before our scheduled wedding, and so seven months after getting married, we were parents at 21. And then parents of three, after the twins were born when we were 23. Crazy, exhausting, maybe even foolish. But again, we knew we wanted them, which made all the difference.