Where is it customary to pay upfront?

[moonlight]

I've heard Japan is one. Any others? I'm traveling to UK/France soon, so I'm curious about those two places in particular.

[MscleLovr]

I’ve never heard of people paying upfront in Europe…except to a scammer.

I suppose that it’s possible that a newbie might be very nervous and request this.
But as long as you stay polite, it should not be an issue.
One compromise might be to have your payment in an envelope and keep it in sight until you hand it over afterwards.

[ACluelessGent]

In Europe the usual is to pay after. 

However, I often pay upfront to get it out of the way and to make sure I don't forget it. 

Edited Wednesday at 07:17 AM by ACluelessGent

[Wolfer]

I've been hiring for more than a decade in Europe and have only been asked twice to pay upfront, so the standard is definitely to pay at the end.

[jonasfoleson]

In the uk and much of Europe. It’s a better system imo 

[+ PhileasFogg]

4 hours ago, moonlight said:

I've heard Japan is one. Any others? I'm traveling to UK/France soon, so I'm curious about those two places in particular.

Clarify - pay in advance before meeting or pay at the beginning before getting down to business?

[jusmeinbr]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

Clarify - pay in advance before meeting or pay at the beginning before getting down to business?

Clarity definitely needed.  In 22 years of hiring, I have ALWAYS paid moments after we first meet (I just want that aspect out of the way), but I have never remitted even a dime prior to meeting in person.

[moonlight]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

Clarify - pay in advance before meeting or pay at the beginning before getting down to business?

The latter.

Edited Wednesday at 12:34 PM by moonlight

[moonlight]

Thanks for clarifying about Europe!

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I always pay at the end in Europe.

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, moonlight said:

The latter.

I make that my habit with a first meeting - especially if we aren’t at my house.   The payment is laid out and ready to go.  

Edited Wednesday at 01:45 PM by PhileasFogg

[jonasfoleson]

Providers don’t want to be scammed. They would ask for money up front. 

[MikeBiDude]

5 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

I make that my habit with a first meeting - especially if we aren’t at my house.   The payment is laid out and ready to go.  

Same, payment is laid out and obvious. But near a nightstand or someplace it can’t be grabbed/run. That was only a problem once 😂

[SecretProvider]

For a first time meet - It is good manners to leave the money out where they can see it.

They will see it and not take it till the session is over. 

After the first session you pay after. 

[+ nycman]

Been around the world, including Japan….and never paid upfront.

I’ve had a few beautiful men refuse to see me because this conflicted with their “money upfront” policy.

And I’ve turned away a few men when their “money upfront” policy was announced only on arrival.

Zero regrets. If I my refusal makes him upset, I think “welp, I just dodged a bullet.”

And now in the grand tradition, I feel some a song coming on:

 

[Nue2thegame]

For many of our initial encounters, the elephant in the room is mutual trust between strangers. Trust that one or both will show up, that they have the same expectations, that neither harbors an infectious disease and neither will harm the other. There’s also an implicit expectation that the provider will provide the agreed upon service and will, in turn be paid by the client. Payment for most services including meals, lodging, barbers, and other professionals is expected after, not before, the service is provided. An explicit demand by the provider for a deposit or payment up front is perceived by many of us as a lack of trust, which may be warranted or not. It can be a deal breaker for those of us that require a sense of mutual trust to continue. Having said that, I have placed an envelope in plain sight occasionally but if he takes it out and counts it, I won’t be coming back. 

Edited Thursday at 01:11 AM by Nue2thegame

[+ PhileasFogg]

3 hours ago, SecretProvider said:

They will see it and not take it till the session is over. 

I agree that’s the proper etiquette but about half the guys follow etiquette.     Thus is why regulars are awesome 

[+ JamesB]

I never pay upfront. I’ve only been asked to do it once and that was in the U.S. I simply turned around and walked out.

[JayeMichigan]

I've also added this phrase to my final meetup details, date and time: "And $XXX to be paid in cash at the end of the session." If the provider disagrees, he needs to do it right then so I don't spend unnecessary travel time.

[polysome]

Based in Europe here: I´ve had a few good "pay upfront" sessions (some that were REALLY GOOD) but statistically, it is a major red flag that knowing what I know now, I might actually just turn someone away for that.