Escorts asking for financial help between meetings

[xavier32]

Has this happened to anyone and how do you handle it? I guess it depends on may factors but I have had this happed a few times recently. I wonder if it is an merging trend? Any thoughts?

[jmichaeliii]

8 minutes ago, xavier32 said:

Has this happened to anyone and how do you handle it? I guess it depends on may factors but I have had this happed a few times recently. I wonder if it is an merging trend? Any thoughts?

Tread carefully and trust your gut.

I did it twice because I trusted their character.  In both cases I "paid for sessions in advance".

In both cases it was the equivalent of two meetings.  In both cases it all worked out fine.

[KeepItReal]

7 minutes ago, xavier32 said:

Has this happened to anyone and how do you handle it? I guess it depends on may factors but I have had this happed a few times recently. I wonder if it is an merging trend? Any thoughts?

Did you mean "emerging trend"? No, it happens all the time. Some people say yes, some people say no and still more just ignore it. Response depends on a number of factors. Is the request from a regular that I know well? How much is the ask? Can I turn it into a visit instead? When life hands you lemons...make that lemonade. 

[Topform]

These young guys need to make a living. If they ask me for help, and we have an established connection, I am always happy to help.

[+ PhileasFogg]

 

As I’ve said many times - I chose to allow this to happen and that’s on me  when they didn’t pay me back, .thats on them.

I’ve helped four   One had troubles, I worked with him and he’s paying    Another defaulted and I should have a default judgment against him soon   The other two (skanks in NOLA) are simply hustlers and they probably don’t know how much I’ve cost them through honest reviews when contacted about them  

I recommend learning from my experience.   Can I afford it? Yes   But I should have chosen to not be a part of enabling bad behaviors  

 

 

Edited Monday at 11:41 PM by PhileasFogg

[DMonDude]

I help out an escort between meetings sometimes, he's a regular I'd been seeing for a couple months before he started asking for extra help. I'll get a text from him every now and then when he needs some extra cash to pay off a late or upcoming bill or a ticket or whatever else it may be. If I'm able to, i usually will send him what he asks for or a portion of it that i can afford to.

If you have an escort asking you about this. I wouldn't say jump into it immediately, but i wouldn't say never ever do it either. I'd say just be careful and use your best judgement like others have said. And consider all the factors. Unless he's the kind of guy who shows you proof of what he needs help with, you don't actually know what you're funding and you have to be ok with that and the possible outcomes.

The escort i mention goes out of his way to show me proof of what he's asking me for help with (always at his own behest). Usually a photo of a bill or ticket or once it was a photo of his vehicle after a fender bender/light collision. All with his personal identifying information uncensored. Which, is a nice gesture on his part to show that i can trust him because he trusts me to not use all that info to steal his identity 😆.

I initially started doing it for this guy under the agreement he'd pay me back, which i knew wouldn't happen. In life in general i always give money under the assumption i will never see it again, and if i truly don't have the money to give i just say no. It's just easier that way, especially when dealing with friends/family or anyone really. Then it shifted to like what jmichaeliii said of paying for sessions in advanced, and those i have been getting. So that's worked out for us. This guy is the only one that's ever asked me for outside of session help before, and he'll probably be the only one i do it for. I don't want to make a pattern of this for financial reasons.

[big-n-tall]

It depends.

If it were a guy I had no relationship with or hadn’t built a strong level of trust with, I would say no immediately.

In the past, a small number of guys have asked me for financial help. Most of the time, I told them I wouldn’t give them money unless I received something in return—usually a credit toward our next meetup. If they did porn, I might ask them to send me videos or something similar. For everyone else, I simply said no.

Three of my regulars have asked me for advances on upcoming meetups. I agreed only because they had proven themselves to be trustworthy many times over, and because they were more than just escorts to me.

Two of them borrowed money for personal reasons. One needed help covering rent, and the other—who has since retired from escorting—needed money for a conference and other school-related expenses while studying to become a doctor. Both promised to repay me promptly, and they followed through every time.

[Straightbutdumb]

I recently had to change all of my screen names because of scammers and needy providers. It's difficult to go from many reviews to zero.

I've also changed to a burner, and I watch what I say online, especially on this site. Never forget that you're on a public forum, and people with ill intentions are watching.

[BuffaloKyle]

I've been asked and simply say that I don't have any extra funds at this time but will reach out when I am ready to hire you again.

[jackcali]

I have helped escorts who I've seen at least a couple of times but who I wouldn't yet call regulars.  I haven't given them in advance more than I would for our next session, and I tell them I'll give them half for our next two sessions to make up for it.  That way, they just don't ghost me rather than do a "free" (meaning prepaid) session.  

I don't hesitate to help out guys I've been regular with for a while.  One was a photographer who needed some equipment for a big job he'd landed.  (Boy, was that shit expensive.)  Another had the chance to study abroad for the summer as part of his masters program and, while his tuition was paid for, I gave him funds for travel, room and board.  Both worked off the prepayment over time, and I think my willingness to help deepened both relationships.  

It hasn't always worked, though.  One regular went through a rough patch and was (I think) starting to do a lot of drugs, and he was hitting me up between sessions to pay his phone bill.  I hated to do it (I really liked him) but I just cut it off with him.  I happy to support a regular, but I'm not willing for him to be dependent on me.  

 

[BigK]

3 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

Tread carefully and trust your gut.

I did it twice because I trusted their character.  In both cases I "paid for sessions in advance".

In both cases it was the equivalent of two meetings.  In both cases it all worked out fine.

I did it once for a discounted future session. I met him a number of times and felt he had good character. I had no problem with him fulfilling his obligation so in a very rare circumstance, I would do it.

[Becket]

It is kinda tricky. Somebody said, "trust your gut," which is about as good a suggestion as there is. But kindness like that on your part is fraught with possible disappointments. Kinda like I feel when the provider asks for a deposit, which in this case is about the same thing. When I really want to see a particular provider and he asks for a deposit, I always feel wary about it. Depends how badly I want to see the dude, I suppose. Sometimes the little head is so much more powerful than the big head. Good luck!

[+ JamesB]

Any time I’ve lent money, I’ve done so with the mindset that I may never see it again. That applies to providers, friends, business partners, etc. The only exception is family. If a family member asks me for a loan, I simply give them the money with no expectation of repayment, but with one condition: they can never ask me for money again, under any circumstances.

That said, I’ve only lent money to two providers. One I never saw again. The other loan was essentially for future sessions and he not only followed through, but consistently made the sessions longer than originally agreed.

So, if you can afford to lose the amount being requested and never get it back, you can consider the loan. Just make sure you’re genuinely comfortable with that possibility.

[nomad]

If I help, I do so under the assumption that I will not see the money again.  Otherwise, it sets you up for unneeded angst and regret.  I only do it if I can and only with regulars I've known for awhile.  Luckily, most of the guys I've gotten to know have never asked.  

[ACluelessGent]

I did it a couple of times for a little money and for people I knew and liked a lot, knowing they will pay me back in what they are good at. I also refused to produce the music album of a young singer 🤣.

[+ Just Chuck]

I had a couple of good experiences when I helped out a couple of escorts who were in ground zero for Texas’s 2021 winter storm and power grid failure (what happens when you try to run utilities cheaper and cheaper).  Both times they took the money as pre-payment for later sessions and both times paid off in good will and cooperation in sessions beyond that.

I got scammed when I helped out one who believably said he was a college student and during the start week of fall semester of a nearby university he said he needed another $100 to buy a laptop.  He took it as pre-payment and then stopped answering my messages. 

[jawjateck]

For many years, I have traveled the road of the newbies and less known companions on my quest for hidden gems and new talent. I have also had my fair share of this. I have helped when I was moved to do so. The results were mixed, but since I give and never "loan" money, the failure to make it "good" does not bother me. I have said no because that guy needed to be told no. If you say no, there is an above average probability that you will never see that person again, if that matters to you. I have ignored some requests, especially the guys I've texted but never met who quickly go down the route of asking for help or trying to sell me something.

[+ Pensant]

In over 20 years, I’ve had only one who asked for money and I obliged, not because I thought he’d pay me back. I also bought him a r/t ticket after which he ghosted me. Lesson learned.

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, Pensant said:

In over 20 years, I’ve had only one who asked for money and I obliged, not because I thought he’d pay me back. I also bought him a r/t ticket after which he ghosted me. Lesson learned.

One mitigating solution on the plane tickets is to purchase them with miles.  At least with Delta, they come back to me if cancelled (a response I still control if sensing red flags before travel) and not as an ecredit to them. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Maybe because we hire as a couple of steer toward more established providers, but this has never happened to us. I'm not sure how I would handle it, except if we were to help, it would be with funds we could afford to lose. 

[BenjaminNYC]

Yes.......you have to be prepared to lose the money.....and be able to afford to lose the money.  I found you have to be able to live and be satisfied  with having helped a guy out, even if they don't return the money and have been found to lie and offer false promises.  What's the expression....no good deed goes unpunished?  Verbal_DomTop in Los Angeles, I'm talking about you!!

[TorontoDrew]

I've had it happen once and it was from someone I hadn't met yet. ObviouslyI said no.

Are they willing to meet for free?  I doubt it.

Money in exchange for services rendered only.

[Bobozn]

This has only happened to me with 1 masseur so far. I helped him out the first time and got a discounted session the next but had to bring it up. The second time he asked, I just ignored/ghosted just because it felt weird on my end and was getting weird vibes. Had 3 sessions in total. If he was more of a regular and I had more sessions with him, I'd probably be more willing on the 2nd request.

[+ JEC]

My regular has done this a few times, it's always a downpayment on the next session.  I've been willing to do it so far, and he always makes good on it.  When we do have that next session I still tip him $100 so net net he's benefiting, but we're good, and he's good, so I'm good.

My only concern is it leaves a digital trail (the transfer) and I try to limit my digital footprint in this arena.

If it wasn't an established regular, I would not likely do this.

[+ 7829V]

I've done it before. He asked for a "loan" of around $200, so I sent it via Zelle. He told me I could use the money toward my next appointment.

I'd already seen this guy around 4–5 times. I like him, and we have a good connection, so I figured I'd take the chance. But I had one rule in my head before sending it: I had to be completely okay with never seeing that $200 again. I wasn't going to chase him down, ask repeatedly for repayment, or get upset if he disappeared. The moment I sent it, I mentally considered the money a gift.

A few days later, he actually contacted me to book an appointment so I could use the "voucher" I had with him. We met, had a good session, and I still tipped him well for being a gentleman and honoring his promise.

I've had others ask me for similar "loans," and I've declined. If we're not that close, or I'm not comfortable simply losing that amount of money, I don't send it.

That's really my boundary: I would never lend a provider money that I actually need or expect to get back. I only do it if the amount is small enough that I can write it off completely the second I send it. If he pays me back or honors the arrangement, great. If not, I already accepted that risk before sending the money.