Escorts asking for financial help between meetings

[viewing ownly]

I feel it takes some nerve to ask you for money instead of going a loan center route if they are short on cash. However, if they reach out for you to see them for the purpose seeing them is for (escorting) in the first place more often, that's reasonable. 

Asking to begin with means they aren't responsible enough with the money they are already getting, and they shouldn't have it become your responsibility to know it's likely never going to be returned if you offer "help". This is really no different than convicted criminals - most people in jail aren't there only once, and never again. Once you give, there's almost no chance you won't be asked to give again. I'm sorry these guys think of you as an ATM. 

[Mark_fl]

I think asking for a loan is largely taking advantage of the illusion of intimacy created by the nature of the work.

If you are truly friends, and see him outside of work, fine. Treat your relationship as such and loan what you would any other friend you are close to.

But the truth is, what would you say if your barber asked for the loan? Of course you wouldn't give him money. Any other service provider? Mechanic? Dentist?

Sounds silly to even think of it, doesn't it? It is what it is. A guy taking advantage because he thinks you have money, and because you have a physical relationship,  you are closer than you really are.

Edited yesterday at 01:05 AM by Mark_fl

[DMonDude]

1 hour ago, Mark_fl said:

I think asking for a loan is largely taking advantage of the illusion of intimacy created by the nature of the work.

If you are truly friends, and see him outside of work, fine. Treat your relationship as such and loan what you would any other friend you are close to.

But the truth is, what would you say if your barber asked for the loan? If course you wouldn't give him money. Any other service provider? Mechanic? Dentist?

Sounds silly to even think of it, doesn't it? It is what it is. A guy taking advantage because he thinks you have money, and because you have a physical relationship,  you are closer than you really are.

I think this can be the case for some if they already had lost sight of what the deal is before being asked for extra money, but i don't think it's true of everyone all the time. I personally don't see it this way. I see it more like a small business making a plea for donations if they're struggling due to whatever the circumstances may be.

If i like the business i may be inclined to donate/invest/loan (whatever we want to call it) because i don't want to see them go out of business or see them fall on hard times when i enjoy their product/service, it's not because of feeling delusionally closer to the owner than i actually am.

Edited yesterday at 12:59 AM by DMonDude

[ACluelessGent]

Some posters are way too solemn. Relax guys, you are not their fathers teaching them financial responsibility. They are young (at least I hope they are...) they have every right to be irresponsible. 😅

[+ Pensant]

I noticed that some contributors to this thread also tip the escorts. Interesting.

[Topform]

19 minutes ago, Pensant said:

I noticed that some contributors to this thread also tip the escorts. Interesting.

What is interesting about that?

[+ nycman]

If anyone close to me (escort, nephew, trainer, assistant) asks for a loan and I’m willing to assist, I just give them the money and never expect to see it again. I will never bring it up nor expect repayment. Some repay voluntarily and I’m happy to come to their aide should the need arise again in the future, 

Others make no attempt to repay their “loan” and their second (inevitable) request is met with open laughter.

[Rod Hagen]

7 hours ago, ACluelessGent said:

Some posters are way too solemn. Relax guys, you are not their fathers teaching them financial responsibility. They are young (at least I hope they are...) they have every right to be irresponsible. 😅

You have a generous heart.  I was young and irresponsible, then before I knew it I was OLD (for an escort) and irresponsible.  :-)

[ACluelessGent]

13 minutes ago, Rod Hagen said:

You have a generous heart.  I was young and irresponsible, then before I knew it I was OLD (for an escort) and irresponsible.  🙂

Join the club. I was young and irresponsible. I am old and irresponsible 🤣

[MscleLovr]

16 hours ago, Mark_fl said:

what would you say if your barber asked for the loan? Of course you wouldn't give him money. Any other service provider?….It is what it is. A guy taking advantage because he thinks you have money, and because you have a physical relationship

Very well said and I largely agree.

4 hours ago, nycman said:

anyone close to me (escort, nephew, trainer, assistant) asks for a loan and I’m willing to assist, I just give them the money

I’ve had a similar approach to this question of funding.

 

10 hours ago, ACluelessGent said:

They are young…..they have every right to be irresponsible

I’m sure you are being kind. And I’m equally sure the young men appreciate your heart and wallet being open to them.

What I’ve always found difficult to fathom is young adults getting into such difficulty, despite working and earning money, and needing to borrow a few hundred dollars.

It’s not just them. Many older adults seem to feel it’s OK to live way beyond their means. I simply don’t understand how they can pay for their home, car, food etc and then socialise regularly without having any savings as a financial buffer.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned or too much of a Calvinist, but I feel living within your means is not only virtuous but makes life easier overall. 

[Mark_fl]

2 minutes ago, MscleLovr said:

It’s not just them. Many older adults seem to feel it’s OK to live way beyond their means. I simply don’t understand how they can pay for their home, car, food etc and then socialise regularly without having any savings as a financial buffer.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned or too much of a Calvinist, but I feel living within your means is not only virtuous but makes life easier overall. 

Not to hijack the thread, but this is a societal issue. Showing off and living for today without thoughts of tomorrow is trending. I suspect a large part of this is because there is no security even if you live within your means any more. There are no more pensions unless you work for the government. There is no job security. Layoffs and cuts are everywhere.

It's a tough sell to tell people save, save, save, when doing so gives you cushion to pay the bank a few more months of your mortgage before your savings are gone anyway, once you get laid off.

It's still wise, but I can see the other side of it.

[mike carey]

11 hours ago, Rod Hagen said:

You have a generous heart.  I was young and irresponsible, then before I knew it I was OLD (for an escort) and irresponsible.  🙂

It is good, on occasion, to be consistent in some things. Being consistently consistent is probably too much work. It might even appear you were becoming responsible, and in doing so you might appear to have become inconsistent.

[Pd1_jap]

It's a huge red flag. If you do it once they will keep asking. I don't have the capital to start a charity. 

One of the reasons I hire an escort in the first place is that I want a clear understanding of the nature of our relationship. I feel sorry for these guys but I can't afford to spend an extra 150 a every few weeks to multiple guys asking me for money. I generally break contact when this happens.

If I'm in a relationship with someone then yeah, I'll help them out. Escorting is a business and unless the escort is willing to stop charging for encounters then they shouldn't be asking for money beyond the terms of the business agreement. 

Edited 8 hours ago by Pd1_jap
Grammar and clarity

[Spikeguy]

I wonder if any client has ever asked the provider for a loan.  Some of them surely have higher incomes than the clients.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited 38 minutes ago by Spikeguy

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 9/7/2026 at 6:13 PM, PhileasFogg said:

 

As I’ve said many times - I chose to allow this to happen and that’s on me  when they didn’t pay me back, .thats on them.

I’ve helped four   One had troubles, I worked with him and he’s paying    Another defaulted and I should have a default judgment against him soon   The other two (skanks in NOLA) are simply hustlers and they probably don’t know how much I’ve cost them through honest reviews when contacted about them  

I recommend learning from my experience.   Can I afford it? Yes   But I should have chosen to not be a part of enabling bad behaviors  

 

 

An interesting thing happened Wed evening with the one I’ve sued - in a chance encounter in the French Quarter, he accosted me as he rode by on his skateboard and a verbal encounter ensued where he tried to taunt me into hitting him (that ain’t gonna happen 🤣).   Despite his marketing persona, he went all bad boy thug getting in my face - with witnesses.  Why? Because he signed a note and I expect to be repaid and then took legal action that reveals what his thug like behavior also revealed that evening   

When I was young, I had debt I needed to work out of…and I did…and I was better for the experience   

This encounter underscores the reality implied by many here - bailing someone out of a mess they made does not help them unless they make conscious choice to right size their behavior…and bailing them out short circuits the urgent motivation to right size and they may go the other way 

It’s better that they learn to maneuver the troubled waters of bad decisions themselves without the assistance of benevolent sponsors.

To clarify - I’m not talking about small advances for future meetings with established guys…that’s a judgment call.   But @Pensant, I still don’t pay deposits 😉.  

[ACluelessGent]

15 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

Very well said and I largely agree.

I’ve had a similar approach to this question of funding.

 

I’m sure you are being kind. And I’m equally sure the young men appreciate your heart and wallet being open to them.

What I’ve always found difficult to fathom is young adults getting into such difficulty, despite working and earning money, and needing to borrow a few hundred dollars.

It’s not just them. Many older adults seem to feel it’s OK to live way beyond their means. I simply don’t understand how they can pay for their home, car, food etc and then socialise regularly without having any savings as a financial buffer.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned or too much of a Calvinist, but I feel living within your means is not only virtuous but makes life easier overall. 

I may be (occasionally) kind but I am not a fool. My heart and wallet is open within reason and only when there is a reason. And I fully agree on living within your means.

[+ Pensant]

23 hours ago, Topform said:

What is interesting about that?

Simply my ongoing fascination with our current tipping culture and the fact that I have never tipped for this hobby and have never had a provider react in a negative way at all. Of course, I do provide favorites with gifts and clothing, so I suppose that’s another form of tipping.

[nomad]

The tipping for everything has to stop.  It is so weird that every place is asking for tips by default for take out orders.  I mean I tip when I dine and get service but for the kitchen to put the food in a container?  Even at Burger places.  McDonald's is bound to start asking for tips.  It bugs me their default is set to 18%. Hit the no tip button pronto. 

[nomad]

If a guy goes beyond what I expected, I show my appreciation and give him a little extra as a thank you. 

[Nightowl]

No one has ever asked me for a loan and if one did, it would have to be someone I trusted  and had seen many many times before I’d even consider giving him anything.  Even then, I’m not sure I’d give him anything. To me, asking for money crosses a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

[Mark_fl]

49 minutes ago, nomad said:

If a guy goes beyond what I expected, I show my appreciation and give him a little extra as a thank you. 

If a guy goes beyond what I've already paid for, I agree. Assuming his rates were at or below market to begin with. If a guy is on the high end, that would be the level of service I expect.