What / When is considered loss of virginity for a gay man?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, purplekow said:

I would say that a gay man has lost his virginity the first time he either feels elation or shame at the time of  a physical encounter with another man.  

According to this definition, then I lost my virginity at the age of 9 when I felt elated that an older man briefly rubbed my shoulder to comfort me.  I craved to be touched on the shoulder again each week when I saw him, but he never did it again 😢 

Edited Wednesday at 11:54 PM by Vegas_Millennial

[Nightowl]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Well said. 

I still passionately remember my first time for each of those events described, and a few more!   Each first feels like popping a cherry 🍒.

My virginity was lost in a different order:  lots of groping 1, getting blown 2, fucking ass 3, blowing others 4, kissing 5, getting fucked 6, three-way 7, double penetration 8, orgy 9, being filmed 10, sex in the ocean 11, sex on the public deck of a cruise ship 12, watersports 13, bukkake 14, taking a penis with a Prince Albert 15, taking foot-long 16, saying "I love you" during sex 17, sitting on a rim chair 18,  poppers 19, getting fucked by my first HUGE cock (length and girth) 20,  my second hole reached by someone's tongue 21, taking four fingers at once 22, sex on the roof of a NYC apartment building during the day 23, successfully deepthroating my first HUGE cock 24, getting fisted (still working up to that one 🥳)

Because my list is a work in progress, I'm still a virgin in many areas. 😇 

Your journey is an inspiration for us all 

[Wings246]

3 hours ago, purplekow said:

I would say that a gay man has lost his virginity the first time he either feels elation or shame at the time of  a physical encounter with another man.

Elation: YES YES YES      Shame: NO      Ejaculation: YES YES YES YES YES YES

[Wings246]

3 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I still passionately remember my first time for each of those events described, and a few more!   Each first feels like popping a cherry 🍒.

My virginity was lost in a different order:  lots of groping 1, getting blown 2, fucking ass 3, blowing others 4, kissing 5, getting fucked 6, three-way 7, double penetration 8, orgy 9, being filmed 10, sex in the ocean 11, sex on the public deck of a cruise ship 12, watersports 13, bukkake 14, taking a penis with a Prince Albert 15, taking foot-long 16, saying "I love you" during sex 17, sitting on a rim chair 18,  poppers 19, getting fucked by my first HUGE cock (length and girth) 20,  my second hole reached by someone's tongue 21, taking four fingers at once 22, sex on the roof of a NYC apartment building during the day 23, successfully deepthroating my first HUGE cock 24, getting fisted (still working up to that one 🥳)

Because my list is a work in progress, I'm still a virgin in many areas.

Wow, this Odyssey needs to be made into a motion picture.  I can tell it's Oscar worthy material just by reading it.

[jeezifonly]

The first time he can recite word-for word a full scene from The Golden Girls. 

[keefer]

8 hours ago, Wings246 said:

Wow, this Odyssey needs to be made into a motion picture.  I can tell it's Oscar worthy material just by reading it.

[Warning :: NY Sardonic Humour 😁 ]

Unfortunately I've put some thought into this, and though I have some thoughts on the screenplay I'm struggling due to lack of crucial details...

Did those events happen over a lifetime or does that reflect a normal weekend in LA?  Would we need Bridgerton-like blushing virgins, or someone capable of handling the rigours of filming, and, virgins - it's not like there are many left...  And if this was just a weekend in LA,  are we able to find a director capable of filming the three hour sequence in a single take?  

 

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 8/4/2026 at 8:25 PM, marylander1940 said:

Penetration as a top or a bottom. 

By that standard, sides remain virgins.

my view, building on @Vegas_Millennial’s joke is that it means different things for different people depending on culture and upbringing. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

14 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

...building on @Vegas_Millennial’s joke is that it means different things for different people... 

I can't take sole credit.  He was the entire country's joke at the time. 😊 

[BaronArtz]

On 8/4/2026 at 9:24 PM, TonyDown said:

 

From old French, virgine meant

 pure, fresh, and untouched maiden.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In modern French, 'vierge' is the term for a virgin.

[+ PhileasFogg]

3 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I can't take sole credit.  He was the entire country's joke at the time. 😊 

And don’t we ALL long for the good old days when all we wanted to do was debate the meaning of the word “is” 🤣😉

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 8/4/2026 at 4:31 PM, Wings246 said:

But for gay men, when or after what action(s) would you define that virginity is lost? 

If one has to ask, then one isn't doing it right 😉 

[NJF]

22 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Well said. 

I still passionately remember my first time for each of those events described, and a few more!   Each first feels like popping a cherry 🍒.

My virginity was lost in a different order:  lots of groping 1, getting blown 2, fucking ass 3, blowing others 4, kissing 5, getting fucked 6, three-way 7, double penetration 8, orgy 9, being filmed 10, sex in the ocean 11, sex on the public deck of a cruise ship 12, watersports 13, bukkake 14, taking a penis with a Prince Albert 15, taking foot-long 16, saying "I love you" during sex 17, sitting on a rim chair 18,  poppers 19, getting fucked by my first HUGE cock (length and girth) 20,  my second hole reached by someone's tongue 21, taking four fingers at once 22, sex on the roof of a NYC apartment building during the day 23, successfully deepthroating my first HUGE cock 24, getting fisted (still working up to that one 🥳)

Because my list is a work in progress, I'm still a virgin in many areas. 😇 

How is No.21 possible? Please elaborate 😂 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

14 minutes ago, NJF said:

How is No.21 possible? Please elaborate 😂 

Edited Thursday at 09:49 PM by Vegas_Millennial

[Nue2thegame]

I was a relative newby and didn’t realize how unique it was at the time or that I was losing virginity #21, but mine was reached by an infinitely patient provider with 10 inches to spare. I was on my back and shot clear across the room. One of the most intense orgasms ever for me and yet to be replicated. 

Edited Thursday at 10:07 PM by Nue2thegame

[Wings246]

11 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

If one has to ask, then one isn't doing it right 😉

The fact that I'm now a self-proclaimed 50% virgin (aka Half-Assed Virgin), you know I have to admit that I'm at least 50% ignorant.   😁

[Wings246]

On 8/5/2026 at 4:33 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

my second hole reached by someone's tongue 21

I'm amused, amazed, intrigued, and puzzled all at once when I read this, but am I reading this right?  The word here is "tongue," correct?  Is a normal, average human tongue long enough to achieve this goal?  Is this even anatomically possible?  Did you lose your virginity #21 to a chameleon or an alien?   😆

Edited yesterday at 05:16 AM by Wings246

[jeezifonly]

I'm loving the answers here - I joked earlier, but the question is an interesting one. For each of us, there are a number of memorable firsts along the course of our sex/love life. 

For us SilverStar gays, firsts may even include female partners.

Looking at whatever points we use for marking MM contact - first kiss, first touch of another dick, first bj, first fuck, first outdoor, first 3way, etc, there are some that stand out for their quality, or their thrill, rather than just chronological order in our memories. 

 

 

[ShortCutie7]

My technical first experience was gagging on a dick for a few minutes…. it was not pleasant and neither of us came. What I consider to be my virginity loss was a few weeks or months later, when I had a full hookup that involved making out (my first kiss), sucking, and getting fucked. I wrote about this in detail for a porn blog… if I can find the link, I’ll post here.

[ShortCutie7]

Found my draft of what I wrote but not the link! Funny how now I don’t bottom at all and cum almost immediately (although in hindsight, I probably DID cum and just didn’t know).

 

Losing My Virginity on Manhunt

 

Before I started using manhunt I was a super-virgin: I never even kissed another guy.  Being very deep in the closet, but also extremely horny, I felt like it was time to start actively pursuing sex with men and thus create a manhunt profile.  After a couple months of chatting with various men, I finally agreed to suck off a guy in his car.  He picked me up right outside my college campus and we drove to a nearby parking lot.  He was cute, but nowhere near as attractive as he looked in his pictures (which were clearly of him, but probably a few years/pounds old).  Once he parked his car, he pulled down his pants to reveal a beautiful, raging hardon.  I leaned over to kiss him, and he shooed me away, saying "I don't do kisses... suck my cock."  Since this was my first time even touching another guy's cock, he coached me through it and made me deep-throat him.  I loved the sensation, but it was kind of uncomfortable.  Neither of us was really attracted to the other or having a good time, so he left without getting off and a cock dripping with my saliva.

 

A few weeks later, I went to my home-town during a vacation.  I had been in contact with a man in my city and I met him in his apartment.  When he opened the door, I was stunned- he was gorgeous and looked even better than his pictures.  He led me to his room and we sat on his bed.  He could tell I was nervous and leaned in to kiss me.  The feeling of his lips against mine was incredible- I finally had my real first kiss!  We just stared at each other for about a minute.  I couldn't get over how handsome he was.  He told me I had beautiful eyes and leaned in to kiss me again.  This time, I was less nervous and we had a little open-mouth action.  I worked my way down to his neck and jawline which I couldn't keep my lips and tongue off of.  He lifted up his shirt to reveal a perfect, hairy chest that I rubbed my face against.  He then asked me to suck his nipples- this was something that I always found a turn-off in porn, but I would have done anything for him at that point.  It wasn't as bad as I expected, and it turned him on so much that I ended up really enjoying that.  He sweetly asked me if I wanted his cock in my mouth, and I responded enthusiastically.  He took off his pants and I could see a huge tent in his underwear.  I kissed his muscular thighs, pulled down his underwear and started licking his big, thick dick.  He started moaning and giving me directions- I could tell he was really enjoying it.  I went down to his balls and started licking and sucking them.  I worshipped every inch of that stunning cock for what felt like hours before he asked me if I wanted him to fuck me.  I had shown some reluctance about getting fucked in my prior conversations with him, but I was so turned on I couldn't say no.  I took off my pants and underwear, and he noted how hard my cock was- it had been rock-hard since the moment I saw him.    He laid me down on my back, my legs shot up in the air, and he gave me some lube to rub in my ass.  He put on a condom and gently worked his way all the way up my ass.  It didn't hurt one bit (it was just uncomfortable for a few seconds), and before I knew it he was pounding me hard.  It felt unbelievably amazing, and the expressions on his face were so hot that it was worth my virginity just for that.  After a while, I started feeling sore so he pulled out and we kissed each other passionately.  He turned over and asked me if I wanted to see him cum, to which I responded "of course!"  He started stroking his cock and asked me to suck his nipples, except to this time be really aggressive.  He loved it when I ran my teeth over his nipples, so I did that until he shot a few loads of thick, creamy cum onto his stomach.  I was still rock-hard, and he wanted to see me cum but my cock has a mind of its own and decided not to cum- I think I was too turned on.  After a few minutes of mindless stroking, I kissed him again and decided to get dressed.  Before I left, he told me I was "born to be a bottom."  I left his apartment feeling like I had just turned a new chapter in my life- not only was I no longer a virgin, but I discovered just how much I love cock.  I can't wait till my next encounter with him... hopefully I'll be able to cum!

[CuriousByNature]

15 hours ago, Nue2thegame said:

I was a relative newby and didn’t realize how unique it was at the time or that I was losing virginity #21, but mine was reached by an infinitely patient provider with 10 inches to spare. I was on my back and shot clear across the room. One of the most intense orgasms ever for me and yet to be replicated. 

That's a very long tongue.  LOL.  This wasn't with a giraffe, was it?  

[Nue2thegame]

27 minutes ago, CuriousByNature said:

That's a very long tongue.  LOL.  This wasn't with a giraffe, was it?  

Wasn’t a giraffe or an anteater. In fact, it was a different 10 inch appendage. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

8 hours ago, Wings246 said:

I'm amused, amazed, intrigued, and puzzled all at once when I read this, but am I reading this right?  The word here is "tongue," correct?  Is a normal, average human tongue long enough to achieve this goal?  Is this even anatomically possible?  Did you lose your virginity #21 to a chameleon or an alien?   😆

It was an ecclesiastical being:  an Angel 😇 

BulgingAngel

https://rentmen.eu/Bulgingangel

 

 

 

[Nightowl]

1 hour ago, ShortCutie7 said:

Found my draft of what I wrote but not the link! Funny how now I don’t bottom at all and cum almost immediately (although in hindsight, I probably DID cum and just didn’t know).

 

Losing My Virginity on Manhunt

 

Before I started using manhunt I was a super-virgin: I never even kissed another guy.  Being very deep in the closet, but also extremely horny, I felt like it was time to start actively pursuing sex with men and thus create a manhunt profile.  After a couple months of chatting with various men, I finally agreed to suck off a guy in his car.  He picked me up right outside my college campus and we drove to a nearby parking lot.  He was cute, but nowhere near as attractive as he looked in his pictures (which were clearly of him, but probably a few years/pounds old).  Once he parked his car, he pulled down his pants to reveal a beautiful, raging hardon.  I leaned over to kiss him, and he shooed me away, saying "I don't do kisses... suck my cock."  Since this was my first time even touching another guy's cock, he coached me through it and made me deep-throat him.  I loved the sensation, but it was kind of uncomfortable.  Neither of us was really attracted to the other or having a good time, so he left without getting off and a cock dripping with my saliva.

 

A few weeks later, I went to my home-town during a vacation.  I had been in contact with a man in my city and I met him in his apartment.  When he opened the door, I was stunned- he was gorgeous and looked even better than his pictures.  He led me to his room and we sat on his bed.  He could tell I was nervous and leaned in to kiss me.  The feeling of his lips against mine was incredible- I finally had my real first kiss!  We just stared at each other for about a minute.  I couldn't get over how handsome he was.  He told me I had beautiful eyes and leaned in to kiss me again.  This time, I was less nervous and we had a little open-mouth action.  I worked my way down to his neck and jawline which I couldn't keep my lips and tongue off of.  He lifted up his shirt to reveal a perfect, hairy chest that I rubbed my face against.  He then asked me to suck his nipples- this was something that I always found a turn-off in porn, but I would have done anything for him at that point.  It wasn't as bad as I expected, and it turned him on so much that I ended up really enjoying that.  He sweetly asked me if I wanted his cock in my mouth, and I responded enthusiastically.  He took off his pants and I could see a huge tent in his underwear.  I kissed his muscular thighs, pulled down his underwear and started licking his big, thick dick.  He started moaning and giving me directions- I could tell he was really enjoying it.  I went down to his balls and started licking and sucking them.  I worshipped every inch of that stunning cock for what felt like hours before he asked me if I wanted him to fuck me.  I had shown some reluctance about getting fucked in my prior conversations with him, but I was so turned on I couldn't say no.  I took off my pants and underwear, and he noted how hard my cock was- it had been rock-hard since the moment I saw him.    He laid me down on my back, my legs shot up in the air, and he gave me some lube to rub in my ass.  He put on a condom and gently worked his way all the way up my ass.  It didn't hurt one bit (it was just uncomfortable for a few seconds), and before I knew it he was pounding me hard.  It felt unbelievably amazing, and the expressions on his face were so hot that it was worth my virginity just for that.  After a while, I started feeling sore so he pulled out and we kissed each other passionately.  He turned over and asked me if I wanted to see him cum, to which I responded "of course!"  He started stroking his cock and asked me to suck his nipples, except to this time be really aggressive.  He loved it when I ran my teeth over his nipples, so I did that until he shot a few loads of thick, creamy cum onto his stomach.  I was still rock-hard, and he wanted to see me cum but my cock has a mind of its own and decided not to cum- I think I was too turned on.  After a few minutes of mindless stroking, I kissed him again and decided to get dressed.  Before I left, he told me I was "born to be a bottom."  I left his apartment feeling like I had just turned a new chapter in my life- not only was I no longer a virgin, but I discovered just how much I love cock.  I can't wait till my next encounter with him... hopefully I'll be able to cum!

Sounds amazing!  If you don’t mind my asking, why don’t you bottom any more?  Seems like you really enjoyed it. 

[BradSmithson]

On 8/5/2026 at 1:27 AM, Charlington said:

I disagree. By that definition I would be a virgin 😝. I have pretty much always been an oral/rimming only or side type of guy. Never had the desire to fuck a guy anally, and have tried but been unsuccessful at bottoming. It doesn’t give me pleasure. Though I like watching other guys do it.

Not that I’m an expert on the subject area, but lesbians generally don’t have to penetrate to constitute having sex either. I would assume most of what they do is oral based.

The notion of virginity was entirely invented and controlled by heterosexual men for centuries, so that is just what people consider to be the threshold. But, sex is sex, regardless of its forms. If you are engaged in sharing physical sexual pleasure with another person you have lost your "virginity".

That's my opinion on it anyway. As there is no defined rule it depends on the individual.

[ShortCutie7]

6 hours ago, Nightowl said:

Sounds amazing!  If you don’t mind my asking, why don’t you bottom any more?  Seems like you really enjoyed it. 

Strangely enough, that was the only time I have ever enjoyed bottoming… for some reason my first time didn’t hurt, but every time I bottomed after that first time was painful and I was uncomfortable for hours if not days after.