How to ask about teeth

[Aedo]

I have found someone whom I would be excited to bring to Chile with me for the more rural, nature-driven part of my trip. However, in our two videocalls, I have noticed that he has some significant need of dental work (his upper canines are vampirically prominent yet out of place). I haven't been able to tell if this would be a dealbreaker for me, but I feel like I need to figure this out because we would be together for a week or more. He's cute, nice, likes me, and is excited to leave his native country of Brazil for the first time to see a new place. 

My current plan is to tell him, "Hey. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I just want to see your teeth and your smile and make sure that I will be attracted to you. Could we do a video call and just make sure that this will be fine?". But that is awfully blunt, so I'm hoping that someone else will have a better solution. 

[DMonDude]

I'm fairly particular about teeth/dental hygiene too. Have never figured out a good way to ask about this either, because it's definitely blunt, arguably rude. But it can be especially make or break for me. Both for RM and even just dating or hook up apps in general, most guys don't post photos on their profile of them smiling. I just have been rolling the dice every time and have been lucky so far. I personally don't think i could bring myself to ask about it directly cause it's so specific and something many can be very insecure about.

If it was me in your position, i personally would maybe still request to do a video call with him as a verification or last compatibility check and make him smile/laugh big and you'll be able to see. Then decide internally. He doesn't necessarily need to know the teeth check is the main reason for the video call.

This method also would work for basically any other thing you'd want to get a feel for that isn't present in photos but that you also don't want to specifically ask about. Like maybe wanting to hear the guys voice/accent if that was something you were particular about for example.

[+ PhileasFogg]

4 hours ago, Aedo said:

I feel like I need to figure this out because we would be together for a week or more.

To the extent that you had enough reservation to make this post, it sounds like you’ve already answered your own question.

If @DMonDude’s indirect approach doesn’t work, I’d just be blunt. “My eye keeps getting drawn to your interesting upper canines, would you humor me and give me your biggest smile?” If he laughs, tell him it’s your unofficial “Interview with a Vampire” audition

Edited July 23 by PhileasFogg

[jackcali]

2 hours ago, DMonDude said:

This method also would work for basically any other thing you'd want to get a feel for that isn't present in photos but that you also don't want to specifically ask about. Like maybe wanting to hear the guys voice/accent if that was something you were particular about for example.

I completely agree with DMonDude's advice.  I have used video calls to figure out where on the masculine/feminine balance a binary person is and also to get a sense of how good an escort's English skills are.  These days, with Google translate it's less of an issue, but while I'd be happy to spend an hour with an escort communicating just with gestures (hand or otherwise), at my age a longer session has to include some conversation, however stilted.  

To the OP, I'd be wary of hiring for a week someone you haven't met before.  There are many, many more ways other than bad teeth that you and he could be incompatible.  If you're determined to go ahead, then try the video call and, if you don't get a good enough look, just ask him.  It's direct and maybe a little embarrassing, but better than a bad one-week hiring decision.

Edited July 23 by jackcali

[+ SirBillybob]

Why do you need to view a more expansive smile or have him inadvertently recede his gums for enhanced scrutiny? Is it because the upper cuspids are crowded/ positioned labially high, and lower cuspids labially low, so the full chopper presentation is obscured? I take it that is the case based on your observations so far.

The basis of his coming to your attention as a candidate is also unclear. A more random social platform or one in which physical characteristics explicitly figure as a substantial part of the hook. Those distinctions may be somewhat relevant in terms of risk of appearing shallow in your screening. 

I had my four premolars extracted, then fixed orthodontic therapy 2-3 years of braces followed by retainers in adolescence for that type of malocclusion.

Orthodontic braces are ubiquitous in Brazil. You may be able to casually bring it up as it is a widespread goal within more lowkey normative aspects of “looksmaxxing” culture.

If he satisfied all other upfront criteria (other than the indiscernible that others referenced as playing out over time) it probably wouldn’t bother me as I would mentally envision the potential correction, probably offer some ‘pro bono’ sponsorship for the expense.

Perhaps match his own related goal-specific nut. If he is getting trip compensation, that might in fact be one of the incentives for his choice of labour. I believe the dental professional fees are considerably lower in Brazil.

Edited July 23 by SirBillybob

[+ SirBillybob]

Immeasurable courtship inflation these days. First world postmodern problem. A few Patagonia days based on face time recruitment stacked against sailing pen pals across vast ocean spans for permanent nuptials. 😏

[+ PhileasFogg]

@Aedo, what’s the latest?

[ACluelessGent]

Dental condition is one of the many reasons I do screen meetings. I doubt that directly asking works, most people with dental issues/bad breadth are unaware of the problem. 

[Nue2thegame]

I usually start my sessions with the line, “I’m here to fill a cavity “. It opens the door to several possibilities. 

[Aedo]

15 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

@Aedo, what’s the latest?

I’m still mulling it over. Been visiting my parents too, so have been a bit preoccupied. Ive read and appreciate all the replies. Will update when I do something 

[soloyo215]

On 7/23/2026 at 1:54 AM, Aedo said:

I have found someone whom I would be excited to bring to Chile with me for the more rural, nature-driven part of my trip. However, in our two videocalls, I have noticed that he has some significant need of dental work (his upper canines are vampirically prominent yet out of place). I haven't been able to tell if this would be a dealbreaker for me, but I feel like I need to figure this out because we would be together for a week or more. He's cute, nice, likes me, and is excited to leave his native country of Brazil for the first time to see a new place. 

My current plan is to tell him, "Hey. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I just want to see your teeth and your smile and make sure that I will be attracted to you. Could we do a video call and just make sure that this will be fine?". But that is awfully blunt, so I'm hoping that someone else will have a better solution. 

Seems like you already noticed his dental situation. Why the need to examine it further? Don't waste his time or mislead him. If you don't like him, you don't like him, a deal breaker is a deal breaker, for whatever reason.

[BeHappy]

You could always pay for his dental work!

[Spikeguy]

Kerchief over the mouth and cowboy roleplay.

[+ jeezopete]

On 7/23/2026 at 3:25 AM, DMonDude said:

If it was me in your position, i personally would maybe still request to do a video call with him as a verification or last compatibility check and make him smile/laugh big and you'll be able to see. Then decide internally. He doesn't necessarily need to know the teeth check is the main reason for the video call.

This method also would work for basically any other thing you'd want to get a feel for that isn't present in photos but that you also don't want to specifically ask about. Like maybe wanting to hear the guys voice/accent if that was something you were particular about for example.

 

On 7/23/2026 at 6:03 AM, jackcali said:

I completely agree with DMonDude's advice.  I have used video calls to figure out where on the masculine/feminine balance a binary person is and also to get a sense of how good an escort's English skills are.

Sorry, but did you guys maybe not read the sentence in the original post where Aedo said:

On 7/23/2026 at 1:54 AM, Aedo said:

However, in our two videocalls, I have noticed that he has some significant need of dental work (his upper canines are vampirically prominent yet out of place).

 

[+ jeezopete]

Aedo, this part of your post makes it sound like you've already made plans with him. So, are you thinking about cancelling the plans after you've already got the young man "excited to leave his native country of Brazil for the first time"? Or have you just brought up the idea of a trip? I'm just wondering, because I'd feel really bad getting someone excited about something that major and then suddenly cancelling. That's just me, though.

(I just realized that has nothing to do with your original question so feel free to ignore me.)  🙂

 

On 7/23/2026 at 1:54 AM, Aedo said:

He's cute, nice, likes me, and is excited to leave his native country of Brazil for the first time to see a new place. 

 

Edited 12 hours ago by jeezopete

[DMonDude]

18 minutes ago, jeezopete said:

 

Sorry, but did you guys maybe not read the sentence in the original post where Aedo said:

 

I guess i misread. I took OP saying "I haven't been able to tell if this would be a dealbreaker for me" and also saying that his current plan was to say "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I just want to see your teeth and your smile and make sure that I will be attracted to you. Could we do a video call and just make sure that this will be fine?". (also implying he needed a better look still) initially as him implying he saw a glimpse of maybe not great teeth but needed to see more to confirm. Which is why i suggested what i did. Maybe OP didn't explain properly?

If he knows he's not into the smile then this is much simpler, he should just say he's not interested anymore or make up some other excuse like a financial related one 🤷‍♂️.

Edited 12 hours ago by DMonDude