Questions about initial contact

[jeezifonly]

1 client's perspective:

Specifying day, time, duration and location first eliminates the doubt of initial "available?" Also if provider has more than one ad (masseur v escort) include the site so he knows which svc you want. Read the profile. If it includes 'same day only' and you like to plan ahead, just move on. I personally like 24-48hr planning, which he may reject 1st time. Fine. just Let him offer rate after availability sorted. And remember, a response is neither guaranteed, nor a guarantee of it lining up. Because humans. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

I frequently receive feedback about the thoughtfulness of my initial inquiry.  It says who I am, physical/health characteristics, what I’m inquiring about, what I like, etc.   I hear story after story of providers receiving inquiries like it’s a dating app

Often the response is a reflection of the effort put in to the inquiry.  

[NYXboy]

My first message is always 'hey is this xxxx?' I don't know why but I always get paranoid I put a number wrong or something as I view rentmen on my laptop not my phone. When they confirm I send a who/what/when/where message - stating a bit about me, what I am looking for, when I was looking to schedule, and where my hotel is.  

I have always received pretty good replies and not just one word answers. I think it shows I am legit and perhaps that leads to the responses. I pretty much only hire when I travel so I always reach out a few days earlier.  If I get no reply I would move on another provider the next day or later that evening. 

I must confess I have never sent messages to 3 providers and then decided to rate the replies like the OP has. Surprised me to read people do that. 

[Wings246]

On 11/16/2025 at 6:26 AM, soloyo215 said:

Questions to clients: do you care about how the provider replies, or does it impact your decision of going further (of course, based on the premise that it's not rejection or unavailability).

Absolutely!  I may be old-school, but that initial reply builds the foundation of first impression.  You probably won't be rude to the hiring manager or recruiter who contacts you to set up an appointment for a job interview, or will you?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 11/17/2025 at 6:54 AM, PhileasFogg said:

hear story after story of providers receiving inquiries like it’s a dating app

What does that mean? I’ve been with my husbands for 24 years so I’ve never been on a dating app. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

21 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

What does that mean? I’ve been with my husbands for 24 years so I’ve never been on a dating app. 

They get an inquiry saying just “hey” or “I wanna fuck!”  Or “Can you come over now”

[+ PhileasFogg]

27 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

What does that mean? I’ve been with my husbands for 24 years so I’ve never been on a dating app. 

I corresponded with a provider the other day that didn’t renew RM.  he basically said it was because of the complete lack of respect from clients who treated him like crap and acted as though they owned his time and his body

Edited Wednesday at 03:59 AM by PhileasFogg

[DMonDude]

On 11/16/2025 at 6:26 AM, soloyo215 said:

Their initial responses were quite different.

• Provider number 1: "Aww thanks!! I'm just not available this weekend. How long are you in town?"
• Provider number 2: "$XXX for one hour $XXX per hour for 2 or more".
• Provider number 3: "Hey there, thanks for checking out my profile. I can be available. What part of town are staying in? Typically my rate is $XXX for the hour. I'm located in the xxxx area."

I went with provider 3 because provider 1 wasn't available, and provider 2 didn't entice me much to further the communication. I dissed provider 2 because it didn't show much people skills.

Me personally, both replies from provider 2 and 3 would be totally acceptable to me and all else being equal I'd just book both on different nights. This kind of thing isn't a big deal to me at all. Providers aren't "on the clock" with me till we're in a room together. So how they communicate with me in messages prior to the meet isn't something i judge them on as part of the service.

I kind of see it like calling a restaurant to book a table. If they can make the booking quickly and answer a question i have efficiently then that's all that's truly needed for me cause i know they're busy and juggling other people who also are trying to book them. If they want to be extra polite or make jokes that's cool, i'll joke back or whatever, but I'm not really handing out bonus points for doing it, nor knocking them for not doing it. I'll judge the chef's cooking and how the wait staff treat me when I'm actually there at the restaurant.

The only time a providers initial communications put me off was when one guy was (i learned after the fact) likely so high as a kite that he couldn't even carry a conversation. He couldn't respond to requests/questions i had, tell me his rate, or where he was hosting. He only responded in emojis, jokes and GIFs. He actively made the booking process difficult/impossible, and that's what i don't like.

Edited Wednesday at 05:15 AM by DMonDude

[soloyo215]

On 11/16/2025 at 11:09 AM, SecretProvider said:

Clients that do this are really fucking annoying and it's a BIG reason why you get labeled with the 'time waster' tag.

Thanks for your perspective, but it seems full of assumptions, probably based on many past bad experiences. Sorry that you seem to have been burned many times.

I just realized that I didn't add that after each reply I actually replied back with the purpose of (a) not wasting their/my time and (b) keeping the lines of communication and possibilities open. I made sure that all three knew where I was standing. To provider 2 I used money as an excuse to dismiss him, but I was polite ("I'm sorry, you are out of my pay range. Maybe at a different time. Thanks for replying"). I'm not sure how that's being a "time waster" or "fucking annoying". With provider 1, I had a little bit of an exchange, and I appreciated his rather caring tone. Wasting his time was not what I got from that text exchange, even after he said he's not available to meet (and no, I was not looking to get off with him via text). With provider 3, I definitely didn't waste his time since I actually extended my time with him (and paid accordingly).

I'd strongly recommend not to jump to conclusions, though I see how your past experiences might have influenced your reply.

Thanks for your reply.

Is there anything that you recommend prospective clients to do differently?

Edited Wednesday at 01:58 PM by soloyo215

[soloyo215]

I have learned so much here. Thank you for your responses. Some things that I got:

It's not well perceived that I reach at multiple providers at the same time. In my case it worked out well, but apparently it's not recommended.

To some the reply, for as long as it's a reply and it's not a rejection, is OK even if it's "to-the-point".

The side discussions are entertaining and educational.

Thank you all.

[SecretProvider]

7 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

Is there anything that you recommend prospective clients to do differently?

I would follow the foot steps of @Vegas_Millennial 

7 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

I'm not sure how that's being a "time waster" or "fucking annoying"

A good rule to think of is this: if you are reaching out to a provider without an intention to hire, you are being a tire kicker.

 

A "tire kicker" is someone who shows interest in buying a product or service but has no genuine intent to purchase, wasting the seller's time. The term originates from people who would "kick the tires" of a car at a dealership without ever planning to buy it. In sales, tire kickers often ask many questions and request demos but are hesitant to commit, hide their budget, or are not the final decision-maker. 

 

 

[soloyo215]

On 11/19/2025 at 4:51 PM, SecretProvider said:

A good rule to think of is this: if you are reaching out to a provider without an intention to hire, you are being a tire kicker.

I had the intention to hire, and I did. Not sure why I'm reading "rules" that (a) I don't need, and (b) seem to accommodate more your personal style/taste. This is business and last time I check, I am entitled to shop around and decide what/who to go with, and explore, research the service provider before making a decision.

I am quite sure that providers do the same with clients.

Again, seems like you are basing this on your experiences, which seem to be unpleasant but not remotely close to mine.

In any event, thanks for your feedback.

Edited Friday at 12:00 AM by soloyo215

[DunwoodyGuy]

I reach out to multiple providers when I travel and after they respond, I reply with what I'm looking for. I try to be respectful of their time and attention, and sometimes I get accused of wasting their time. I have also been accused of "just jerking off," which is never true. (Well...at least not while I'm attempting to book a session...) 

If the provider takes offense at my communication, then we're not a match. But if the provider matches my attempt at respectful directness with a similar energy, then we're already ahead of the game. A comfort level has been established. 

And after the session I (almost) ALWAYS leave a review.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

3 minutes ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

I reach out to multiple providers...  and sometimes I get accused of wasting their time.  I have also been accused of "just jerking off...

And that's just from the working men who have told you that they do not appreciate this tactic.  Imagine how many more think the same thing but haven't told you.

[DunwoodyGuy]

51 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

And that's just from the working men who have told you that they do not appreciate this tactic.  Imagine how many more think the same thing but haven't told you.

No, I'm not concerned with imaginary judgments. I have had so many more positive experiences in my years hiring than negative ones, for which I have left dozens of 5-star reviews. And I have had return experiences with a dozen or so of those guys, 2nd and 3rd sessions that were deeper and even more satisfying than the initial encounter. After a while (in life), you get to know that not everyone will like you--and you won't like everyone. But if I conduct myself respectfully toward everyone--even if they take offense at what I consider respectful--in the end, it's all good. 

Edited Friday at 07:52 PM by DunwoodyGuy

[+ azdr0710]