% of clients who are straight

[Nightowl]

38 minutes ago, Just Chuck said:

I was listening to the Butt Honestly Podcast recently and the guest was a gay man recently released from prison.  He described some other inmates as “gay-for-the-stay”.  Men who live as straight men when they are free, but are flexible enough in attraction to have sex with other men when that’s the only game in town.

This makes sense, though I wonder whether attraction has anything to do with it.  Faced with years behind bars with no access to sexual partners of their own choosing, a lot of men would probably end up in sexual relationships with whatever is available.

[Nightowl]

2 hours ago, Scott Carroll said:

Not to change the subject, but you have a very beautiful ass!

This is what I love about CoM.  You can compliment another man on his attributes after actually having seen them.

[MikeBiDude]

Aren’t sexual identity “labels” so last century?

[LookingAround]

16 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

Aren’t sexual identity “labels” so last century?

Says the man with bi in his moniker. 

[+ Just Chuck]

43 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

Aren’t sexual identity “labels” so last century?

I’ve struggled with labels.  At the same time, I’ve found some relief when I found a label that brought me closer to accurately saying who I am.  I grew up struggling with a an idea that I had to label myself as either gay or straight.  When I adopted the label bisexual, it was a HUGE relief.

Later, I’ve learned a lot more about my orientation and attractions. I am actually super attracted to people who blur gender lines.  (If any of you can line up a threesome for me with Lux Pascal and Elliot Page, I will forever be grateful.)

[mike carey]

It's disappointing to me that there appears to be a tendency for people to take a hard line view that if someone even thinks about anything sexual that paints them as anything other than an absolute zero or six on the Kinsey scale that they are admitting that they are 100% at the other end of the scale. You can't have it both ways, if one BJ or dick in the arse makes someone NOT STRAIGHT, then one PIV experience would make them NOT GAY. 

Could it be that there are no people who are by absolute definition either gay or straight, but there are actions that can be so described? Could it be that the critical point is that orientation is self-identification, not objective fact? Or that as @MikeBiDude suggested, labels are so last century, or perhaps just not helpful?

I can understand people wanting to apply labels or deny them, either from pride or from fear, or from wanting to magnify or diminish the number of people who 'are' straight or gay.

To suggest that one act defines you, reminds me of darker times in history when one drop of the blood of a denigrated group could condemn you to servitude or worse.

[Gilfson]

So I never said one act defines you. I said paying a member of your own sex to have sex with you clearly identifies you have an attraction to them. Straight people are not attracted to people of the same sex. And i mentioned they may be bi or heteroflexible. And while I do understand people can be closeted for whatever their reasons are. I do think there is danger to people identifying as something to benefit from the privilege instead of being comfortable with there actual sexuality. And if you want to take dick on the weekends and tell me you’re straight go ahead but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with it.

[LookingAround]

1 hour ago, mike carey said:

Or that as @MikeBiDude suggested, labels are so last century, or perhaps just not helpful?

Not to beat a dead horse but has it escaped you that citing MikeBIDude (emphasis on BI) to make your point kinda undermines your very point LMAO. Sorry couldn't resist. Carry on. 

[mike carey]

4 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

Not to beat a dead horse but has it escaped you that citing MikeBIDude (emphasis on BI) to make your point kinda undermines your very point LMAO. Sorry couldn't resist. Carry on. 

No, it hadn't, and no I don't think it does. The fact that someone might use a label in a screen name they chose in the past does not detract from the argument that such labels may not serve as much a purpose as is often assumed they do. But, as you say, carry on!

[LookingAround]

1 minute ago, mike carey said:

No, it hadn't, and no I don't think it does. The fact that someone might use a label in a screen name they chose in the past does not detract from the argument that such labels may not serve as much a purpose as is often assumed they do. But, as you say, carry on!

I agree. Just couldn't resist. 😂

[JTtorretto]

To answer your question:  

 

“how many clients state that they are straight?”

 

it varies dramatically depending upon what city, blue/red state, midwest vs coast 

[+ Just Chuck]

Before a person “comes out” to anyone else, they have to “come out” to themselves. I wonder how many “straight” clients are just somewhere in the process of getting around to admitting to themselves that they have some degree of sexual attraction to their own sex.

[DMonDude]

9 hours ago, Just Chuck said:

I was listening to the Butt Honestly Podcast recently and the guest was a gay man recently released from prison.  He described some other inmates as “gay-for-the-stay”.  Men who live as straight men when they are free, but are flexible enough in attraction to have sex with other men when that’s the only game in town.

From my understanding, the youth call this "Heteroflexible" and it's basically just situational horniness ("a hole is a hole" scenario) and not based on any actual attraction.

13 hours ago, Scott Carroll said:

The notion that if a man gets serviced by another man means that they are absolutely not "straight" is as absurd as saying that a gay man having sex with a woman means that he is heterosexual, in my opinion.   

Those notions aren't absurd, but they just lack nuance/detail. In my opinion. With all the orientation/labels talk in general. I think examples like you gave here is where the sexual orientation labels we currently have have become out dated. I generally was of the mind that if you as a man do anything with guys more than your one time "experiment" free pass everyone gets then you're at the very least, not able to claim being totally straight because if you like it enough to do it again...

Doesn't necessarily mean you get flung to the polar opposite end of the spectrum and are suddenly homosexual, but you can't still stick to "i'm 100% straight, bro, i only like women (even though i get serviced by men regularly)" either. Just because it's "service" doesn't negate that it's still sexual interactions with other men. Straight means being exclusively into women, so... Yeah there's just no way around that. However, those guys do fall somewhere in the middle, and i think the real answer is that the middle is a lot bigger than just "bisexual". In more recent years i've met guys who've explained their sexual and romantic feelings and there's definitely some guys who have more going on than just being bi.

I've noticed some young people differentiate between sexual attraction/activity and romantic attraction. To some those are two different things that aren't always tied to each other. So when you do that, certain kinds of people suddenly make more sense. A lot of these "straight" guys are effectively heteroflexible or bisexual but are romantically hetero-romantic (are only romantically attracted/exclusively date the opposite gender), which is basically what the Romans were doing back in the day where they'd all be banging each other on the battle field for convenience and social dominance amongst each other and then come home to their wives and that was just normal. I've known guys who are homoflexible as well and known people who are bisexual but homo-romantic too.

There are even people who identify as Asexual (which in the human perspective just means they aren't into sex at all), but those people obviously usually still have romantic attraction that can be to the same, opposite, or all genders (homo-romantic, hetero-romantic, or bi-romantic respectively) as well. I recently learned of a term for people who are physically attracted specifically to gender presentation (as in which gender the person they're attracted to LOOKS like and not which gender they are anatomically). Which would apply to all those men who litter my Grindr grid who identify as straight but are only on the app for fem-boys and trans women for example.

One friend of mine is like this, he likes cis-gender women but also trans women, and with trans women he's ok with if they haven't had the bottom surgery yet if they otherwise can pass as a woman. What's down there isn't relevant to his attraction to them, it's just about the overall presentation being "woman". Gay/bi men attracted to trans men who haven't had bottom surgery yet are in that same boat.

I can already feel a lot of people here who are old school collectively rolling their eyes and going "ugh that's a bunch of young people B.S., let's just have no labels!" but i personally don't like the idea of having no labels and i also think it's a lazy notion. Trying to find something in a grocery store where the aisles and the products all have no labels is an objectively terrible experience if you're trying to find something specific, or even just browsing.

Having no labels beyond gay/bi/straight is like if zoologists stopped at categorizing Mammals with just Primates, and then didn't go further to differentiate between Humans, Chimpanzees, Gorillas, and Orangutans cause they didn't feel like having to learn more. The only reason why labeling things is annoying and makes us feel put in a box is because the labels we do have aren't appropriate and are too general, but the concept of labels overall isn't actually the problem.

When things are identified thoroughly and correctly, it doesn't feel like a box you're being incorrectly stuffed into. Which then negates any confusion and anxiety that comes from feeling like you're in the wrong box. But we as a society aren't ready for that. Lot of people to this day can barely acknowledge the bi in the gay/bi/straight trichotomy as is 🤣

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, DMonDude said:

From my understanding, the youth call this "Heteroflexible" and it's basically just situational horniness ("a hole is a hole" scenario) and not based on any actual attraction.

☝️ This

[+ SirBillybob]