Barry Diller Comes Out Of Closet

[Luv2play]

I read Maureen Dowd’s column today in the NYT about Barry Diller’s autobiography titled Who Knew. In it he reveals he is bisexual but seemingly he really is gay despite his marriage to Diane von Furstenberg.

It’s a long column for Dowd and covers a lot of territory relating to Diller’s career. I knew parts of his life story since he became a well known figure in Hollywood and business. Having read her column I’m not inclined to buy the book. 
 

At 83  Diller is unlikely to have much of an influence on gay life as he could have had 40 years ago had he come out then. But if he had he likely wouldn’t have had the financial success he has enjoyed which he implies is what kept him in the closet for so long. 

Edited May 10 by Luv2play

[samhexum]

22 hours ago, Luv2play said:

I read Maureen Dowd’s column today in the NYT about Barry Diller’s autobiography titled Who Knew. In it he reveals he is bisexual but seemingly he really is gay despite his marriage to Diane Von Furstenburg.

"Barry" is actually his drag name.  His birth name is Phyllis.

 

 

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, Luv2play said:

Barry Diller’s autobiography titled Who Knew

Who knew ?

Well in NYC, EVERYONE knew.

It would be shocking to find somebody in society and/or the arts who didnt know.

Very disingenuous to claim "bisexuality" if that's what hes doing. Yes. Hes been married to Diane for decades but everyone knows that it was a marriage of convenience and friendship, not an intimate sexual attraction.

[Luv2play]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

Who knew ?

Well in NYC, EVERYONE knew.

It would be shocking to find somebody in society and/or the arts who didnt know.

Very disingenuous to claim "bisexuality" if that's what hes doing. Yes. Hes been married to Diane for decades but everyone knows that it was a marriage of convenience and friendship, not an intimate sexual attraction.

Diller explained he dropped the question mark for the title of his autobiography. Acknowledging that everybody knew. 😆 

[caliguy]

20 hours ago, samhexum said:

"Barry" is actually his drag name.  His birth name is Phyllis.

 

 

Not sure why that's relevant to the story but I like that better. 👍🤣

[caliguy]

6 hours ago, Luv2play said:

I read Maureen Dowd’s column today in the NYT about Barry Diller’s autobiography titled Who Knew. In it he reveals he is bisexual but seemingly he really is gay despite his marriage to Diane von Furstenberg.

It’s a long column for Dowd and covers a lot of territory relating to Diller’s career. I knew parts of his life story since he became a well known figure in Hollywood and business. Having read her column I’m not inclined to buy the book. 
 

At 83  Diller is unlikely to have much of an influence on gay life as he could have had 40 years ago had he come out then. But if he had he likely wouldn’t have had the financial success he has enjoyed which he implies is what kept him in the closet for so long. 

I met Barry 25 years ago at a party.  A party with mostly gay men. Interestingly the Will and Grace Actor was there too. He was still in the closet himself. 

Yes. At 83 no one gives a shit. I don't think many cared even back then. It would have the same impact as Barry Manilo coming out. 

[samhexum]

10 minutes ago, caliguy said:

It would have the same impact as Barry Manilo coming out. 

Wait... you don't mean... ?!?!?!

[AtticusBK]

What I don’t understand is — why now? What does he get from coming out this late in life? Just to try to control the narrative after he dies? Who cares at this point? 
I just missed his CBS Sunday Morning interview. Maybe he addresses it.

[d.anders]

Didn't he finance some floating park on the Hudson in the West Village? I guess that means all should be forgiven?

Lavender marriages. They've been around for centuries.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

53 minutes ago, d.anders said:

Didn't he finance some floating park on the Hudson in the West Village? I guess that means all should be forgiven?

Lavender marriages. They've been around for centuries.

LIttle Island.  It's beautiful and a great performance space.

It's a great example of what money, power and creativity can produce.

[samhexum]

2 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

It's a great example of what money, power and creativity can produce.

just like bitcoin.

 

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, AtticusBK said:

What I don’t understand is — why now? What does he get from coming out this late in life? Just to try to control the narrative after he dies? Who cares at this point? 
I just missed his CBS Sunday Morning interview. Maybe he addresses it.

Because it’s never too late to live in truth. Even at 83, shedding shame or secrecy can be liberating—not just for him, but for others who see it and feel less alone. Visibility always matters. Especially now!

[Andy768]

17 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

Because it’s never too late to live in truth. Even at 83, shedding shame or secrecy can be liberating—not just for him, but for others who see it and feel less alone. Visibility always matters. Especially now!

It reminds me of Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, who came out in his obituary. 

Quote

"I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay," he wrote. "I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace."

Wishing Col. Ryan peace of mind in death and Barry Diller peace of mind in life. 

 

Veteran comes out as gay in moving obituary: ‘Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever rest in peace’

WWW.TODAY.COM

---

“I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life," he wrote in his obituary.

 

[caliguy]

16 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

Because it’s never too late to live in truth. Even at 83, shedding shame or secrecy can be liberating—not just for him, but for others who see it and feel less alone. Visibility always matters. Especially now!

I could see that with some blue collar dude that's locked up in a marriage with 3 kids and everyone around him clueless or even homophobic. 

Yes it's never too late but dudes been living the gay life already for eons. He works in Hollywood surrounded by gay people and he played with them every chance he got too.  He just didn't want to be identified as GAY with all the baggage that came with so ergo the marriage. 

I get it though. He's from a generation where you got married and played on the side.  This site is full of guys like that too. 

[caliguy]

1 hour ago, d.anders said:

Didn't he finance some floating park on the Hudson in the West Village? I guess that means all should be forgiven?

Lavender marriages. They've been around for centuries.

I gotta admit. That is so cool. I'd totally visit it.  Amazing what 200 million will buy. 

[Cooper]

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[d.anders]

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

It's beautiful and a great performance space.

I haven't seen it. I'm glad for performers.

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

It's a great example of what money, power and creativity can produce.

How many gay men has the island money saved from AIDS? How many gay men's lives were helped by this floating ego-island? I guess we should feel grateful he supported a political party that supports gay men. Maybe there is charity we don't know about.

All that money, and Barry Diller will mostly be remembered as a closeted gay man. He lived during a time when many gay men would have appreciated his help.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

11 hours ago, d.anders said:

I haven't seen it. I'm glad for performers.

How many gay men has the island money saved from AIDS? How many gay men's lives were helped by this floating ego-island? I guess we should feel grateful he supported a political party that supports gay men. Maybe there is charity we don't know about.

All that money, and Barry Diller will mostly be remembered as a closeted gay man. He lived during a time when many gay men would have appreciated his help.

I bet you're incredibly charming at parties.

[d.anders]

7 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I bet you're incredibly charming at parties.

LOL. I used to be charming. Sometimes incredibly. These days, if you want charm, show me the money.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

7 hours ago, d.anders said:

LOL. I used to be charming. Sometimes incredibly. These days, if you want charm, show me the money.

I definitely get that.  Charm can be quietly exhausting.

That said, I no longer fault people for what they didn't do in the past when they're trying to do something good in the present.

And more to the point, who knows how much Diller quietly contributed to various causes without the public knowing.

I'm just happy he's finding his own happiness.  You can be out and proud at any age.

[d.anders]

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I no longer fault people for what they didn't do in the past when they're trying to do something good in the present.

That's fair. I want to believe in redemption.

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

who knows how much Diller quietly contributed to various causes without the public knowing

I did say something similar. I'm not a fan of David Geffen, but I am so grateful for GMHC. Every little bit helps, given what gay men have been through in the last 40 years.

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'm just happy he's finding his own happiness.

You're a better man than I am.

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

You can be out and proud at any age.

For sure.

[+ Alabastrine]

Just about everyone who worked with Barry knew, even decades ago. Lavender marriage aside, Diane is an extremely sweet person and they have a great relationship. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 5/11/2025 at 9:15 AM, caliguy said:

He's from a generation where you got married and played on the side. 

Married people play on the side in every generation 😁 

[Ali Gator]

I'm sure his 'coming out' will have the same impact as Clive Davis' did when he was around the same age.

 

IIRC, didn't Joan Rivers hint at him being gay years after she was fired from FOX ? I could've sworn she was the one who said it publicly. 

[+ ApexNomad]

42 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

I'm sure his 'coming out' will have the same impact as Clive Davis' did when he was around the same age.

It helped him, and that’s enough. And if impacts only one other person, that’s a bonus.