Almost accidentally hired someone I grew up with long ago

[moonlight]

I'm shook.

Come across a RM profile and this guy is PERFECT. He checks ALL the boxes for me.  We're about the same age. I'm super excited.

Contacted him to plan a meeting in a few days. Very pleasant guy, and I could tell that's he's smart, too.

There's something about him that reminded me of someone I grew up with, in a very different part of the country. I hadn't thought about this guy for over 20 years.

And then I stopped cold. What if....

Googled the name. Yeah. That's him.

Of course I'm not going to go forward now. Even if he's cool with it (doubtful) I'm not cool with him knowing all about me.

It's really a shame. I'd honestly never been so sure of wanting to meet someone before.

Yeah, I had a crush on him long ago.

Sorry, not a question. Just had to vent.

WWYD?

[marylander1940]

13 minutes ago, moonlight said:

I'm shook.

Come across a RM profile and this guy is PERFECT. He checks ALL the boxes for me.  We're about the same age. I'm super excited.

Contacted him to plan a meeting in a few days. Very pleasant guy, and I could tell that's he's smart, too.

There's something about him that reminded me of someone I grew up with, in a very different part of the country. I hadn't thought about this guy for over 20 years.

And then I stopped cold. What if....

Googled the name. Yeah. That's him.

Of course I'm not going to go forward now. Even if he's cool with it (doubtful) I'm not cool with him knowing all about me.

It's really a shame. I'd honestly never been so sure of wanting to meet someone before.

Yeah, I had a crush on him long ago.

Sorry, not a question. Just had to vent.

WWYD?

What makes you think he will recognize you or remember you? 

 

[moonlight]

7 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

What makes you think he will recognize you or remember you? 

 

There's definitely a chance he might not. But just like he has a unique identifier, so do I. There's also my accent which might jog his memory.

Plus, I would feel too weird concealing from him that I knew him. I kind of feel like that should be divulged as part of full consent.

[marylander1940]

1 minute ago, moonlight said:

There's definitely a chance he might not. But just like he has a unique identifier, so do I. There's also my accent which might jog his memory.

Plus, I would feel too weird concealing from him that I knew him. I kind of feel like that should be divulged as part of full consent.

Give it a try!

You had a crush on him, make hit reality!

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

26 minutes ago, moonlight said:

WWYD?

I would hire him.

I have hired men I previously knew outside this profession.  I have hired men I previously slept with outside this profession.

Edited January 16 by Vegas_Millennial

[parkneedler]

I would def hire lol

[moonlight]

2 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I would hire him.

 

Just now, parkneedler said:

I would def hire lol

Would you two just not say anything to him about it?

Edited January 16 by moonlight

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

Just now, moonlight said:

 

Would you two just not say anything?

I don't mention it when I'm booking.  But I might mention it at the end of the first successful meeting.

[ShortCutie7]

51 minutes ago, moonlight said:

 

Would you two just not say anything to him about it?

You could easily pretend that you didn’t remember him until you met him.  If you want him, he’s for hire, and he consents, I don’t see anything wrong with that.  As others have implied, it’s likely he doesn’t remember or wouldn’t recognize you.

I recently saw a profile on RM who looked very familiar.  A couple weeks later, I happened to see him in person (from afar) and confirmed that he was indeed the guy I remembered from “around”, but his profile had been deactivated.  I would have totally hired him if the stars aligned.

[Km411]

I agree; go for it!

[moonlight]

I would appreciate a provider's perspective on this @BenjaminNicholas @Simon Suraci

I'm conflicted. I want his privacy to be respected, I want my privacy to be respected, and I don't want to deceive. But I feel like meeting could be mind-blowing.

Edited January 16 by moonlight

[+ nycman]

I’m gonna play the devils advocate here. I wouldn’t hire him unless you disclose ahead of time who you are and how you know him. He’s an adult. Let him make the decision. If he’s agreeable it could be really fun. If he’s not well, I think you know the answer.

[moonlight]

Just now, nycman said:

I’m gonna play the devils advocate here. I wouldn’t hire him unless you disclose ahead of time who you are and how you know him. He’s an adult. Let him make the decision. If he’s agreeable it could be really fun. If he’s not well, I think you know the answer.

Thanks. This is what my gut says.

[soloyo215]

2 hours ago, moonlight said:

I'm shook.

Come across a RM profile and this guy is PERFECT. He checks ALL the boxes for me.  We're about the same age. I'm super excited.

Contacted him to plan a meeting in a few days. Very pleasant guy, and I could tell that's he's smart, too.

There's something about him that reminded me of someone I grew up with, in a very different part of the country. I hadn't thought about this guy for over 20 years.

And then I stopped cold. What if....

Googled the name. Yeah. That's him.

Of course I'm not going to go forward now. Even if he's cool with it (doubtful) I'm not cool with him knowing all about me.

It's really a shame. I'd honestly never been so sure of wanting to meet someone before.

Yeah, I had a crush on him long ago.

Sorry, not a question. Just had to vent.

WWYD?

The right thing to do is to not go ahead if you're in shock and not comfortable, or rather "not comfortable". If it was me, I'd let it go for now and revisit the possibility once the shock passes to see if I'd feel comfortable going with it.

I don't think that it could happen to me for a number of reasons. A few years ago I came across my forced best friend from childhood (long story as to why forced to be my friend), and he looks like he's had a hard life. The other friend from childhood that I really liked I already lost my virginity to him, so it wouldn't be a shock to me, but I wouldn't like to pay him.

[Km411]

To be clear I absolutely agree you should disclose beforehand.

[+ ApexNomad]

35 minutes ago, moonlight said:

I’m conflicted. I want his privacy to be respected, I want my privacy to be respected, and I don't want to deceive. But I feel like meeting could be mind-blowing.

This right here: you want privacy to be respected—there’s your answer. Walk away. No meeting is worth compromising boundaries, yours or his. 

2 hours ago, moonlight said:

Even if he's cool with it (doubtful) I'm not cool with him knowing all about me.

You already feel conflicted and uncomfortable. Transparency might help, but it doesn’t change the fact that privacy and personal feelings are at stake.

[marylander1940]

2 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I don't mention it when I'm booking.  But I might mention it at the end of the first successful meeting.

[+ friendofsheila]

I was agoing to ask if having siex with a guy you had a crush on is more exciting, or is the idea messing with your hardon. 

 It sounds like you decided it is the second.  and made the decision that made sense for you.

Edited January 17 by friendofsheila

[+ friendofsheila]

(one of my thoughts was "what if he had a crush on me, too"? then the sex mght have been even better.)

[moonlight]

Some additional context:

The image of his abs in the locker room has been seared into my brain for a while. It's an early gay memory for me. 

We did not interact much back then.

He's also local so could be a regular if the stars aligned.

But I'm inclined to agree with you, @ApexNomad. My brain is telling me not to do this even though my dick is leaking precum at the thought of meeting.

I think I'm just going to give this some time for my feelings to process.

[jeffla]

I think you should hire him, and then just as you guys are about to reach a climax, you blurt out, "We grew up with each other!"

[+ azdr0710]

We don't know all the details of how well you knew each other back then, of course. If you're concerned he'll be shocked/dismayed/embarrassed if you meet and disclose your connection, maybe it's a no go. Or are you concerned he'll "out" you to others?  If you won't be embarrassed when he finds out who you are, I'd go ahead, but tell him ahead and simply ask if that's too creepy for him. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

If you're really going to push this button, you need to first contact him and be honest about the history.

Lay it out...  Then ask him if he's cool with moving forward.

If you go into it not having done that, you're the asshole for not having been honest from the drop.

Personally, I'd walk away.  That's just how I'd handle it.

[moonlight]

1 hour ago, azdr0710 said:

f you're concerned he'll be shocked/dismayed/embarrassed if you meet and disclose your connection, maybe it's a no go. Or are you concerned he'll "out" you to others?  

It's both but mostly the latter (I realize the risk of that is small, but still a risk when money and feelings get involved). I'm careful to guard my identity and value privacy highly for professional reasons.

Typing that out, I realize it would be ridiculous to hire someone who could very well identify me from the start.

This is just painful for me because I've never seen a profile before that checks all of my boxes so completely. Damn. I don't think I could dream up a better fit.

C'est la vie.

[+ FrankR]

8 hours ago, moonlight said:

I'm shook.

Come across a RM profile and this guy is PERFECT. He checks ALL the boxes for me.  We're about the same age. I'm super excited.

Contacted him to plan a meeting in a few days. Very pleasant guy, and I could tell that's he's smart, too.

There's something about him that reminded me of someone I grew up with, in a very different part of the country. I hadn't thought about this guy for over 20 years.

And then I stopped cold. What if....

Googled the name. Yeah. That's him.

Of course I'm not going to go forward now. Even if he's cool with it (doubtful) I'm not cool with him knowing all about me.

It's really a shame. I'd honestly never been so sure of wanting to meet someone before.

Yeah, I had a crush on him long ago.

Sorry, not a question. Just had to vent.

WWYD?

Is he a professional or not?
If he is a professional (has reviews on rentmen for a year or two) - treat him like it. You wouldnt say “he went to the same high school as me so I cannot have him as my dentist” would you? As a professional he will act accordingly. 

If he isnt a professional, then I would steer clear.

Edited January 17 by FrankR