Couple looking to spice things up

[lvguy]

My husband and I are looking to spice things up.  We are thinking about going to one of the bath houses in Las Vegas which is where we live.  We do only want to play together and be watched or be in a group watching.  Our rule for now is his dick&load only goes in my mouth or ass.  And my mouth or ass only takes his dick and load.  

We are looking for any other suggestions you guys have.  The bath house is just an idea.  Willing to try anything else to spice things up.  

We are both in our mid 50s and in decent shape.  We just don't have our 20 yo bod anymore

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, lvguy said:

We are looking for any other suggestions you guys have. 

Seems that a public setting is the wrong place to be in such control of your environment. I've been a huge fan of public sex for many years and MY experience is that it's difficult to prevent people from joining in when they want to.

I would consider hiring a voyeur or two if that's your turn on. You have complete control of the scenario that way.

 

Edited December 27, 2024 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

3 hours ago, lvguy said:

My husband and I are looking to spice things up.  We are thinking about going to one of the bath houses in Las Vegas which is where we live.  We do only want to play together and be watched or be in a group watching.  Our rule for now is his dick&load only goes in my mouth or ass.  And my mouth or ass only takes his dick and load.  

We are looking for any other suggestions you guys have.  The bath house is just an idea.  Willing to try anything else to spice things up.  

We are both in our mid 50s and in decent shape.  We just don't have our 20 yo bod anymore

Do you guys have a pool at home?  If so, hosting a pool party in the summer is great away to socialize and meet new men, especially if you both set the example and forgo swimming costumes.  As the afternoon turns into evening, bring the party indoors for some voyeurism.

I live in Las Vegas, and I would attend such an event if invited 😉 😉 😉 

[BuffaloKyle]

3 hours ago, lvguy said:

My husband and I are looking to spice things up.  We are thinking about going to one of the bath houses in Las Vegas which is where we live.  We do only want to play together and be watched or be in a group watching.  Our rule for now is his dick&load only goes in my mouth or ass.  And my mouth or ass only takes his dick and load.  

We are looking for any other suggestions you guys have.  The bath house is just an idea.  Willing to try anything else to spice things up.  

We are both in our mid 50s and in decent shape.  We just don't have our 20 yo bod anymore

If you wanna be watched maybe join chaturbate and you can even make some money while being watched? If you need to be discreet wear masks.

[Simon Suraci]

A bathhouse is more fun when you’re open to other partners joining in some capacity, but you can still enjoy the exhibitionism aspect with whatever rules you have around your play.

Bathhouses are places for play, yes, but also for consensual play. I disagree with @pubic_assistance on this one. Maintain your boundaries and you will be fine. It’s ok to say no to someone’s advances verbally or nonverbally. You can be polite but firm about it too. “No, thank you” goes a long way. Swatting a hand/dick/whatever away is clear enough for most people when your mouth is occupied or you can’t see who it is or where it’s coming from.

I see no reason why you couldn’t go at it in front of an audience and leave the area if/when someone persists in violating whatever boundaries you set. It’s the perfect cheap thrill and you’re still 100% in control. Same goes for when you go alone. Maintain your boundaries and have fun!

[pubic_assistance]

13 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

I disagree with @pubic_assistance on this one. Maintain your boundaries and you will be fine. It’s ok to say no to someone’s advances verbally or nonverbally.

You may be correct. I haven't been to a bathhouse for years. But when I used to go regularly, there would be a LOT of pushing people away if I wanted a one-on-one (I rarely did). Maybe people are more shy and less eager to join than they used to be.

 

Edited December 27, 2024 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[Simon Suraci]

12 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

You may be correct. I haven't been to a bathhouse for years. But when I used to go regularly, there would be a LOT of pushing people away if I wanted a one-on-one (I rarely did). Maybe people are more shy and less eager to join than they used to be.

 

It varies. Different places, different nights of the week. There’s always that guy who, for whatever reason ignores or doesn’t understand boundaries. I can’t say one experience represents all, or that things are a lot different from years ago vs now. I don’t think much has changed. It varied then, it varies now.

Whatever the situation, each member has the power to establish and enforce his own boundaries. No means no. Nobody is beholden to another for sex, touch, or attention.

For 1:1 time with another visitor, it’s best to get a room. That’s what they’re for, although some clubs call them “changing rooms” …with TVs, and beds… 🤣

…maybe for legal reasons.

[pubic_assistance]

17 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

There’s always that guy who, for whatever reason ignores or doesn’t understand boundaries.

Well..THAT is exactly why I don't think a public setting is ideal if a couple doesn't want people joining in.

PAY for what you want..don't expect it to randomly happen as you wish, when you're subjected to the general public.

[Simon Suraci]

True, @pubic_assistance by not paying you’re leaving some of the dynamics to chance in a semi-public setting.

It’s not truly public as a bathhouse is limited to 18+ male presenting people specifically there to cruise and be cruised, and paying for the privilege. Anyone can walk up to you in a park for free, but only this specific group of people can do so in a bathhouse. Also, you can’t be naked or walk around in a towel in public, at least not safely. So I see this as a semi-public setting.

I agree paying is the one way to get exactly what the OP wants while maintaining 100% control. It gives you say over the boundaries. You can be picky, if you want to, about who is watching, for how long, what they do or don’t do, or if they participate in any way.

Not paying, you may have to deal with saying ‘no’ or swatting a hand away, or temporarily pausing while the guy not respecting your boundaries moves on. Then you can resume. Annoying, but that’s the trade off.

The downside to paying for this kind of scene is you lack the true spontaneity of people stumbling upon you and genuinely interested in watching what’s going on. Part of the fun is feeling like you’re doing something transgressive and that you’re holding the voyeurs’ interest by what you’re doing. Paying a voyeur doesn’t guarantee this dynamic, but it works if you can embrace the fantasy and suspend thoughts about whether the hired guy is truly into it or just indulging you.

Sometimes voyeur scenes are about being “discovered”, “caught in the act”, or being viewed secretly, like from a crack in a wall or a keyhole, or through one way glass. Sometimes proximity is arousing, like someone stroking their dick two feet away from your face as they enjoy you play with your partner. It looks different ways.

Pay if you want 100% complete control.

Or don’t pay, but be prepared to set and enforce boundaries.

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Sometimes voyeur scenes are about being “discovered”, “caught in the act”, or being viewed secretly, like from a crack in a wall or a keyhole, or through one way glass. Sometimes proximity is arousing, like someone stroking their dick two feet away from your face as they enjoy you play with your partner. It looks different ways.

All agreed.

But...

I never minded when (certain) people joined in. And I am not shy about swatting undesirables away. Like you said..there's always that ONE guy who can't read the room and appears out of nowhere wanting to kiss me mid-orgasm...thus ruining my whole vibe.

Obviously when I say "public" ..I meant a segment of the public in a bathhouse. I thought that was obvious and didn't need explaining.

Edited December 28, 2024 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

23 hours ago, lvguy said:

My husband and I are looking to spice things up.  We are thinking about going to one of the bath houses in Las Vegas which is where we live.  We do only want to play together and be watched or be in a group watching.  Our rule for now is his dick&load only goes in my mouth or ass.  And my mouth or ass only takes his dick and load.  

We are looking for any other suggestions you guys have.  The bath house is just an idea.  Willing to try anything else to spice things up.  

We are both in our mid 50s and in decent shape.  We just don't have our 20 yo bod anymore

These are a lot of rules to follow...  And break.

I wish you luck, but unless it's either OPEN or CLOSED, putting all of these caveats on sex tends to go wayward quickly when you're in the moment.

Hiring will give you the control of being very specific and having your needs met.

A bath has too many variables that can go wrong in this situation.

[nate_sf]

I think a bath house could work. If you guys are just wanting to play with each other in public and be watched, that takes out the issue of some guys being interested in one of you and not the other (or vice versa, one of you being interested in a particular guy but the other not so much).

Like @Simon Suraci says, my experience is most people are respective of boundaries. Having been to bath houses and sex clubs for many years now, I think people have indeed become more respectful of saying no. If you guys are just wanting to be watched, you can even say that to someone: "No thanks, we just like being watched, but you're welcome to watch!"

But like @pubic_assistance says, I too like others joining in. When my guy and I go out, I'm much more open to others joining than he is... and as a result, I get more action. If a guy wants to suck my dick, who am I to say no? 🤣

[nate_sf]

48 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

These are a lot of rules to follow...  And break.

I wish you luck, but unless it's either OPEN or CLOSED, putting all of these caveats on sex tends to go wayward quickly when you're in the moment.

That's a good point. One of you might see a hot guy and want to deviate from your rules in real time.

My suggestion would be to agree to stick to the rules first time out. Then when you get home, talk about it and discuss if you might want to try something a bit different next time. I know in my own instance, my comfort level with group scenes changed over time.

[+ JamesB]

I highly recommend hiring someone. The process of searching and selecting a provider together can be a refreshing change of pace in itself. Plus, you'll likely feel more comfortable and able to fully enjoy the experience knowing you have control over what will and won’t happen. A good provider can also offer valuable advice based on his experience, introducing ideas you might not have considered but may be open to exploring.

[+ purplekow]

My first thought would have been to invite an acquaintance over who may be amenable to watching.  If this is to much of a reveal, then hiring a couple who work massage together and tell them what you have in mind.  This way you both can have a massage, and as things get a bit more intimate, you and your partner can do what you like and invite the other couple to watch and then watch as they do it.  If there are other activities that do not break you bargain, as stated  your fucking someone or his being fucked for example,  then you can open up the play to include that.   

Lots of luck, but once Pandora's box is open, you can never close it again.  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

2 hours ago, nate_sf said:

That's a good point. One of you might see a hot guy and want to deviate from your rules in real time.

This reminds me of when a couple goes into IKEA with a plan.

And that plan goes to shit as soon as they hit the showroom.

Witnessing couples fighting in IKEA should be an Olympic event.

[+ Jamie21]

On 12/27/2024 at 6:02 PM, lvguy said:

Our rule for now is his dick&load only goes in my mouth or ass.  And my mouth or ass only takes his dick and load. 

The two words that jump out at me in this sentence is ‘for now’. I expect in a bath house / sauna situation where you’re performing for an audience the ‘for now’ thing won’t last long. Have you discussed that together? If not, do  so before you take your plans to a bath house. Maybe hire a pro first, see what happens. 
 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 12/27/2024 at 10:02 AM, lvguy said:

And my mouth or ass only takes his dick and load.  

So... No fingers, tongues, toys, etc.?  If toys are acceptable, then does it matter if your husband his holding the toy or if he passes it off to a stranger?  Can you be spit roasted with your husband's penis in one orifice, and someone using a toy, finger, tongue on the other?

[+ azdr0710]

gee, all this talk of what can and can't go where and when and friends watching and butts and hands and......has me thinking only of a game of Twister.....

[Boaxxx]

20 hours ago, purplekow said:

My first thought would have been to invite an acquaintance over who may be amenable to watching.  If this is to much of a reveal, then hiring a couple who work massage together and tell them what you have in mind.  This way you both can have a massage, and as things get a bit more intimate, you and your partner can do what you like and invite the other couple to watch and then watch as they do it.  If there are other activities that do not break you bargain, as stated  your fucking someone or his being fucked for example,  then you can open up the play to include that.   

Lots of luck, but once Pandora's box is open, you can never close it again.  

For your first time I think the couple massage is a great way to go that would also have a natural progression. If you want that bath house/sex club environment you can create that in your own home by keeping the lights low and putting some red lights in your lamps. You could also add techno music to play in the background and even have some porn playing on the TV and computer monitors. Make it clear to the providers that this is what you are looking for/trying to create and I'm sure they would be up for it. You could also decide up front what would be acceptable interaction with the providers. 

This is now giving me some possible roleplay ideas for my next "massage" session. 😈

 

Edited December 29, 2024 by Boaxxx

[caliguy]

 

[Guest]

I’m a huge fan of cast a wide net. There’s a couple I hook up with. The first time they invited me over was to watch them have sex and jerk off if I was in the mood. I said yes. While I was jerking off, they had a fight about where I should put my load. It was very funny, but clear to me they hadn’t fully fleshed out the idea. 
 

My advice is be sooooooooooper understanding with each other and check your jealousy at the door. Try to be turned on by your partners excitement instead of afraid of it. 

[Boaxxx]

9 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I’m a huge fan of cast a wide net. There’s a couple I hook up with. The first time they invited me over was to watch them have sex and jerk off if I was in the mood. I said yes. While I was jerking off, they had a fight about where I should put my load. It was very funny, but clear to me they hadn’t fully fleshed out the idea. 
 

My advice is be sooooooooooper understanding with each other and check your jealousy at the door. Try to be turned on by your partners excitement instead of afraid of it. 

Sounds like a cockfight to me!

Edited January 2 by Boaxxx

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

Sounds to me it was a cockfight!

Put it on my face!

dont you dare. Put it on his back. 

I wanna see it, put it on my face. 

don’t go near his face with your cum.

while I am edging. While the top was pumping. I put it in the bottom’s hair, or as I called it, face adjacent. 
 

 

Edited January 2 by Coolwave35