Discussing Providers with Other Providers

[FaustOust]

Is it considered inappropriate to discuss with a provider that I see regularly my experiences with another escort I may see or one I have met in the past? I would think the reverse of this — a provider revealing clients to other clients — would not be right (although I imagine it happens.)

Do providers share client identities with one another, perhaps as part of “shop talk?”

[+ Pensant]

It happens occasionally. I’ve never considered it unusual.

[+ poolboy48220]

I don't think I've ever done that, seems like it'd invite comparisons between the two escorts, which could dampen the mood. 

[soloyo215]

2 hours ago, FaustOust said:

Is it considered inappropriate to discuss with a provider that I see regularly my experiences with another escort I may see or one I have met in the past? I would think the reverse of this — a provider revealing clients to other clients — would not be right (although I imagine it happens.)

Do providers share client identities with one another, perhaps as part of “shop talk?”

I think it depends on who and the circumstances, as well as the intent. If you are mentioning another provider in a conversation, that's different from revealing details of the provider that might hurt him or his reputation.  I avoid talking about other providers, and when I do, I've never given names.

Providers, mostly in the massage business, sometimes make recommendations of other providers. I don't care for 4-hand massages, threesomes or things that involve more parties that the one person I hire, so imagine that other providers might be mentioned if there are suggestions or inquiries about those services.

In general, when I feel like I want to mention a person, I frame it by first asking questions (general, but related questions) to the provider, and I integrate what I want to say or ask as part of it. That way it doesn't look like there could be an intent.

Edited October 3, 2024 by soloyo215

[+ DrownedBoy]

9 hours ago, poolboy48220 said:

I don't think I've ever done that, seems like it'd invite comparisons between the two escorts, which could dampen the mood. 

Yeah that's the reaction I got once. A regular was like, "don't compare me with other providers!"

I didn't come out and tell him that I compare him to others whenever I hire, but I did say a few things so he'd stop with that attitude. He's competing with other escorts whether he wants to admit it or not, and he has lots of competition. A fact many providers forget.

[marylander1940]

Why not?

It happens!

No big deal!

Edited October 4, 2024 by marylander1940

[LaffingBear]

I did it occasionally when I was hiring.  Never shared names or ID info.

I'd recommend extreme discretion and caution.  I can remember two guys who, while it wasn't even remotely related to my thoughts, inferred that I was making comparisons to someone who i felt provided better service.  And get pissy very fast! 

There's also the potential to trigger the speculation that you're discussing them with others.

[big-n-tall]

Is it inappropriate? i'd say, not necessarily, depending on the details shared.

So when i first started this hobby, I never acknowledged to another provider i had hired another provider. As i got comfortable with guys who became my regulars, I might have discussed another provider, but in vague terms and never named names. I kind of made a rule to keep any discussions vague. Then i discovered providers had started to recommend me to other providers who visited my area. Talked about me at length even. This opened up a kind of a dialogue when one provider who knew or worked with another would ask about the other or share positive/negative info.

I broke my rule. I shouldn't have. This lead to negative miscommunication between one provider to another about someone I mentioned I was potentially going to hire. In a nutshell, one of the guys I had seen for more than 10 years broke off communication with me, I believe, partially over inaccurate information. Maybe not solely because of that miscommunication, but it didn't help. Even when I told the guy (multiple times) what was said was inaccurate, he seemed to take offense to me not being grateful he shared or warned me against the potential hire.

The morale of the story, if you feel you want to share info or have a discussion with a provider about another, keep it vague. The only time you need to maybe share more than vague info is if you plan a 3-way or something with more than one provider. Even then i would suggest keeping certain aspects out of the discussion. Lesson learned. I lost a solid provider who I'd know a very long time because of another I knew almost as long. I'm back to rarely speaking of a provider to another provider, even if I know they are friends or in some other type of relationship.

Edited October 5, 2024 by big-n-tall

[+ Jamie21]

I’m sure it happens because I know clients of mine who see other guys that I know, in some instances I have recommended them.

I’ve also had other providers I know contact me about a client to ask if they’re genuine (as in reliable to turn up) because the client had mentioned he’d seen me. In a couple of those it was because the client had seen us both together in videos. Other times it’s because I get enquiries about 4 hands so I send the client the details of the guys I do that with. 

There’s a line though that one doesn’t cross whether it’s discussing other providers with clients or clients with providers and that’s details about their identity or their performance. People’s confidentiality is sacrosanct, so is their self esteem. I only say positive things if asked “would x be good?”. I’m happy to share if a client was flaky or wanted to negotiate on price but that’s it. What someone likes doing etc is not for me to share because it’s up to each individual (provider or client) to decide whether the other person is good for them. 
 

Edited October 5, 2024 by Jamie21

[marylander1940]

13 hours ago, LaffingBear said:

I did it occasionally when I was hiring.  Never shared names or ID info.

I'd recommend extreme discretion and caution.  I can remember two guys who, while it wasn't even remotely related to my thoughts, inferred that I was making comparisons to someone who i felt provided better service.  And get pissy very fast! 

There's also the potential to trigger the speculation that you're discussing them with others.

In that case it wasn't you it was them. 

Getting pissy fast? They needed thicker skin for the business. 

If you mention others to them, I'm sure they know you are 100% likely to mention them to others. I see your point. 

[viewing ownly]

I do this all the time, although by no means with everybody. I feel this is especially important to do if I'm not liking how things are going. It's flustering when you're wanting to know how much more time there is left - that's a sign it isn't going well!

Here's what conclusion I'm coming to, and it's by no means a revelation. Younger guys with great bodies are asking far more than older guys with great bodies. I'm not finding the differential of youth to be at all financially worthwhile. I am grateful that I've worked hard enough on my own body for a younger person to at least give me the time of day and half the time a REALLY fun time, but when I can nearly be assured of that with someone closer to my age for substantially less, that's where my focus should be in the future. 

[HockeyMan]

I do. And some providers talk about their clients too. We don't name names though.

[Whippoorwill]

I had a regular provider who asked me for a recommendation for other providers I saw, so he could compare his services with the competition. They saw each other and I got a report back. He also mentioned a couple of other providers in the same demographic and wondered if I’d seen them. It’s called market research. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I've seen providers who try to disparage other escorts. And God knows how many have complained about refugees undercutting them in the market.

[marylander1940]

5 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

I've seen providers who try to disparage other escorts. And God knows how many have complained about refugees undercutting them in the market.

Asylum seekers have certainly disrupted the market

[+ Charlie]

I didn't make a habit of discussing other escorts with an escort, but I remember one fun afternoon, after having a good time in bed with an escort in New York, he pulled out the pink pages of The Advocate (yeah, this was before the invention of the Internet), and we started discussing which escorts each of us had had experience with. It hadn't occurred to me until then that some escorts had sex with other escorts, for fun as well as professional research. We compared notes about escorts that both of us had seen, or that one of us had seen but the other hadn't but was curious about. I think we spent more time discussing our experiences than we had spent having sex with one another.

[+ PhileasFogg]

Personally, I see discretion as a two way street.   I MAY discuss an experience, but I wouldn’t identify or get to specific about the actual guy

[ICTJOCK]

I don't talk about anybody... to anybody else.     Discussing and disclosing identities of one to another is  a breech of ethics.    And yes,  you can have  (and one should expect)  ethics in this business when it comes to privacy,  especially.    Without that,  reputations will suffer no doubt.

I never disclose someone's identity .