Companionship only?

[LaffingBear]

I'm guessing I'm thinking about something that doesn't exist.  Or, no longer exists.  Old movies would have us believe that there was a time a woman could hire an escort who was simply that... an escort because it was inappropriate for a lady to go out alone. 

I've hired guys.  I have no issue with that.  I can afford it.  I've simply become too old, skeptical, and burnt-out to be interested. When you look through hundreds of Rentmen profiles, and have a reason to judge every single one with some reason to be uninterested... the issue is you, not the available supply.

I travel solo.  I've become a frequent Vegas visitor.  My experiences were mostly solo for several years., I'm comfortable dining alone, seeing a show solo, etc.  However, more recently, I've been seeing and meeting other solo travelers; we coordinate our trips, dine together, etc.  Unfortunately, none of those people are available, and for the first time in a year, I'll be alone for an entire trip in a few weeks. And I find the prospect of not having a companion at even one meal a bit depressing. 

I know we pay for time, but it doesn't match my values to pay someone $300-$500 to buy them dinner.  I've thought of Seeking, I have a free profile, get some matches, but never one I'd be willing to pay $90/month to explore further .

Are there platonic escorts?  Someone who'd enjoy conversation and a nice dinner, reasonable compensation for their time?  An early dinner wouldn’t prohibit earning potential during peak hours.  Would that just trigger suspicions that the client undoubtedly wants more?

Or is this all just wishful thinking? 

[+ Jamie21]

I do that kind of session for a few guys. They’re not interested in sex as such although it sometimes happens but it isn’t the purpose of the session.

The purpose is companionship, for a short time such as a few hours (I don’t do overnight or days). Has been to meals, a walk, accompany to a sauna (some guys are scared to go alone), a theatre trip. You need to check the person is compatible, even more so than in a sex focused session. 

[56harrisond]

 

[+ Pensant]

I would expect that most providers would want their normal rate, and why wouldn’t they? It’s time they’re selling. 

[jackcali]

14 hours ago, LaffingBear said:

I know we pay for time, but it doesn't match my values to pay someone $300-$500 to buy them dinner.  I've thought of Seeking, I have a free profile, get some matches, but never one I'd be willing to pay $90/month to explore further .

 

I suggest you give Seeking a try.  It's a real mix of delusional kids who think some billionaire is going to adopt them and sex workers who are either on RM or who do it as a side gig and don't want to spend the money for RM membership, but there are also guys (some relatively educated and sophisticated) who are just looking for a taste of a nicer lifestyle.   One of those might respond positively to an offer of being your companion on a week's trip to Las Vegas or wherever.  All their expenses would be covered, of course, but the  money you pay them and the amount of sex is open to discussion.  They come with a different set of expectations than the professionals on RM, so my guess is the cost will be a lot less and so will the sex, but it sounds like that's fine with you. 

The fact that the trip is coming up means you can get on Seeking for only a month or two, reach out to anyone who seems suitable and to your taste and see if you find someone.  If not, you're no worse off other the cost of the membership. 

Good luck to you. 

Edited September 21, 2024 by jackcali
fixed typos

[+ DrownedBoy]

Yes. There are many guys who would love to provide companionship alone, and for a much fairer price. Or even people who would graciously accept a meal and make conversation.

But like the others said, you won't find them on RentMen. I recall a college guy in Chicago who bought an ad on RentMen and offered those services alone. His ad was gone after a month.

Edited September 21, 2024 by DrownedBoy

[LaffingBear]

Thanks.

I guess I have my own issues to get past.  I've been online since the early days of AOL, Prodigy, etc.  Early 90s.

In all that time, I've almost never paid for anything.  I tried an onlyfans once, and paid a dating site for a couple of months.  Both were money wasted.  I've never paid for an app.  Despite being a gambler, I've never paid to gamble online.

The likelihood that I'd spend $107 for a month of seeking is next-to-zero.  Particularly given the responses I've gotten to my current profile/ad, which says I'm available for casual meets, dinners, etc.

Edited September 21, 2024 by LaffingBear

[BonVivant]

There is a lot of gays who travel solo. For lots of reasons. There are apps that focus on it now. But they all seem to be targeting young ‘uns. Thoughts?

[LaffingBear]

Just now, BonVivant said:

There is a lot of gays who travel solo. For lots of reasons. There are apps that focus on it now. But they all seem to be targeting young ‘uns. Thoughts?

I have no contemporary experience with those.   I can tell you that, from my 30s through my 50s, almost every effort I made to meet gays online for platonic friendship....  not long after we met, they sheepishly admitted it was their method to meet for a relationship.   Some hoped for FWB, the platonic element often because they had a relationship.   Some hoped it would become a relationship: friends first.  It was sorta depressing,  like gay men were incapable of thinking past their crotch when online.     Maybe things are better now.  

I'm certainly not opposed to gay travel companions.  I had a blast with a gay group on a cruise.  Met other solos when I stayed in gay resorts, key west or Wilton Manors.   But I'm at a point that I don't care what their sexual preference is... as long as it doesn't involve children or animals.  

[Danny-Darko]

23 hours ago, LaffingBear said:

I'm guessing I'm thinking about something that doesn't exist.  Or, no longer exists.  Old movies would have us believe that there was a time a woman could hire an escort who was simply that... an escort because it was inappropriate for a lady to go out alone. 

I've hired guys.  I have no issue with that.  I can afford it.  I've simply become too old, skeptical, and burnt-out to be interested. When you look through hundreds of Rentmen profiles, and have a reason to judge every single one with some reason to be uninterested... the issue is you, not the available supply.

I travel solo.  I've become a frequent Vegas visitor.  My experiences were mostly solo for several years., I'm comfortable dining alone, seeing a show solo, etc.  However, more recently, I've been seeing and meeting other solo travelers; we coordinate our trips, dine together, etc.  Unfortunately, none of those people are available, and for the first time in a year, I'll be alone for an entire trip in a few weeks. And I find the prospect of not having a companion at even one meal a bit depressing. 

I know we pay for time, but it doesn't match my values to pay someone $300-$500 to buy them dinner.  I've thought of Seeking, I have a free profile, get some matches, but never one I'd be willing to pay $90/month to explore further .

Are there platonic escorts?  Someone who'd enjoy conversation and a nice dinner, reasonable compensation for their time?  An early dinner wouldn’t prohibit earning potential during peak hours.  Would that just trigger suspicions that the client undoubtedly wants more?

Or is this all just wishful thinking? 

Yes, it's possible. I've done it before, mostly in other countries when traveling. And I've come across several profiles in RM that mention just spending time together, "hanging out" and worded in of ways. I've found that some men really welcome this and not have to have sex and still get paid for time spend and a nice meal too! I've enjoyed the company and time spent with a few guys while taking them shopping, get haircuts and enjoying the sights while stopping for drinks and meals. I felt they enjoyed it as much as I did, and I got to see and try and see new things while traveling and also helped somebody out with clothing and grooming that they have appreciated. It's not everybody's cup of tea, but it's nice when one bonds with the right person and establishes a certain rapport with them. 

Edited September 21, 2024 by Danny-Darko

[SoCalBaseball]

In the past, I hired for companionship, seeking out the flavor of a guy to fill the gaps of dialogs, or simply to have someone to share those moments you described with. It was more of an agreement, after spending more time with one particular person and having established a genuine connection with a regular companion, everything began to make those kind of trips easier but guys are busy sometimes. What started as a simple arrangement haha evolved into something more meaningful. The sense of comfort and familiarity gries, and it became less and less about the initial reason for hiring someone, hooking up, and more about the nice bond that had developed naturally over time. There’s something cool and dero about forming a deeper connection with a guy, where the need for companionship becomes second to the real relationship that emerges. It became clear as day that this connection was no longer just about filling time or sexy times but about truly valuing and enjoying each other's company and laughs in a way that went beyond the initial intent of fun

[SD_Exec]

Yes, sometimes it becomes more than a hookup. How many times did you guys hang before it started evolving?

[buckguy]

9 hours ago, BonVivant said:

There is a lot of gays who travel solo. For lots of reasons. There are apps that focus on it now. But they all seem to be targeting young ‘uns. Thoughts?

There’s long been websites and, before that, publications focusing on independent travelers. They’ve always skewed young because there is usually an emphasis on saving money and doing things that are a bit often the beaten path or at least not overwhelmed by package tourists. This backpacker type travel requires some degree of physical fitness, too. I’ve done lots of this kind of traveling and have been able to do it much longer than I expected. There also are lots of older, independent travelers, which I’ve noticed more as I get older (but noticed even ages ago; they tended more to be straight couples from Europe). There is probably more content now that addresses women and older travelers.

Gays might be too niche to generate a lot of content although I think you can find gay travel sites that include solo traveler hints, esp. for SE Asia. Gays always have been a part of the independent travel community, more so in certain destinations than others, particularly overseas. Personally, I find the thought of going to Vegas or Wilton Manors depressing, with or without company, and if typical gay destinations in the US are your thing, you won’t find much relating to solo travel to those places. They really don’t fit the ethos of what motivates most independent travelers, with the possible exceptions of Ptown or Key West, which in past times were the kind of places that attracted a wide variety of people who didn’t want to go to a typical “resort”.

To get back to thread topic…..if you primarily want companionship, I’d have to suggest getting a referral from someone here or your regular life. Otherwise, you’d want to go with someone whom you know already. As has been mentioned on the overnight and other long-term hire threads, you need someone who will trust you and whom you can trust and enjoy as company for long periods of time. I know there are people who, for geographic reasons, can’t do a trial run very often, but you still need to cover the trust and communication bases and a referral would enable you to do that.

Escorts often will give a better rate to a repeat client if they’re interested in the destination and depending on the expenses you’d need to cover, the whole thing may cost about the same as a multi day hire with an RM guy. 

Edited September 22, 2024 by buckguy

[+ ThroatCummer]

To echo some of the comments above, I took one of my escorts on an overseas trip because I needed a companion -- sex was not the primary focus at all.

I am the Founder of one of my companies.  The CEO that I hired and his son were planning a trip to a specific country they hadn't visited before that I really, really wanted to go and see myself. None of my friends were around to make the trip last minute and it was going to be an epic adventure and three is just an odd number so we needed a 4th person.  My regular escort who I had known for a while and done tons of overnights with was free so I asked him if he wanted to be the 4th in our group.  The CEO and his son had no idea, they just though he was a friend of mine., This escort is really, really good and can get along and manage in any situation and the trip was a complete and total success.  Comfortable all around, great times, a thousand pictures, it was freaking incredible.  Yes, the escort and I had sex a few times during the trip, but the main goal was literally just to have someone to run off and do things with with the CEO and son were doing their own thing. 

So yea, it does happen.  Also, this trip was to one of the last places on the planet where there is no modern stuff. Think: No Uber, no credit cards (Visa/MC don't work), no Google maps, nothing we all take for granted. You can probably guess it.

To your question: We negotiated a rate that was much lower than his hourly or overnight.  I was offering up the opportunity to see a country that hardly any Americans ever get to visit, and we had built a rapport over time where we were comfortable enough with each other that it wasn't "work, work, work, sex, sex, sex" all the time. It was legit a life adventure. Some people would spring at the chance and do it for free just having the flights/hotels/expenses paid. I did all that and gave him some on top. It was mutually beneficial to us both and a great business transaction with lasting memories.  It was very helpful that we liked the same things like going to the gym, having some similar interests, and common stuff to talk about. It was like having a best friend along for the ride... and CEO and son to this day still ask about him. LOL

Edited September 22, 2024 by ThroatCummer

[+ purplekow]

Laffing Bear, if you have not previously attended the Palm Springs get together, I suggest you come this April.  You will meet like minded men, many with discretionary income and a desire to travel.  Adding to you r stable of travel companions may solve your issue.  By the way, where are you going and for how long.  Perhaps there is a solo traveller on this forum who may consider joining you on you trip.  

[TMonti96]

@ThroatCummer this is an absolutely awesome experience, for both you and your escort. I only hope that your rentboy was clever enough to realize how lucky he was to have the opportunity to accompany you in your trip. If he managed to mingle so well, this is the proof that he is a true "escort" in the etymological meaning of the word, and not just a sex worker.

I used to be an escort when I was a student (and now, 15 years later, I have become a client), and the most outstanding thing that has happened to me was to have a regular client of mine flying me from Europe over to the Middle East. I was not accompanying my client because he was already in his mansion in the UAE but he was longing for the presence of a few young familiar boys next to him to enlighten his mood. He owned and ran a business in several countries, was married with kids, but the only relaxing moments for him was the company of young men.

This experience has remained one of the greatest moments in my life. I got to meet "peers" from Russia, Germany & Turkey, this was really cool. I think I was intelligent enough back then to understand that his gesture was one-of-a-kind.

[ReynST]

20 hours ago, LaffingBear said:

... It was sorta depressing,  like gay men were incapable of thinking past their crotch when online.     Maybe things are better now.  

Nothing at all has changed. You can find a platonic relationship online, but it's is highly unlikely unless you're doing so under a shared interest and provided your plans to meet (at shared interest event) don't require the other for a satisfactory outcome. This lowers sexual/intimacy expectations and gives a general focus for conversation.

I.e If you enjoy hiking and want a platonic friend who does as well, meet at a hiking trail. You can have conversation and get to know each other and if your personalities conflict, you can take a break and tell him to keep walking. You can both still enjoy the experience even if you don't jive so well the first time with or without the other. For this main reason someone who also likes hiking will be more willing to take you up on it.

This applies to a lot of leisurely activities, exercise, board games, NOT drinking 😂. One thing to keep in mind though is do not pick something that either of you are new to. The situation will lose the vital liberty aspect and often the focus along with it.

[aiseeya]

Putting aside the economics, I reckon companionship focused service might be harder lane (compared to sex focused one) - one both client and provider. Great at sex does not equal to great conversationalist. I have met many providers who are amazing in bed but only couple that I geniunely would enjoy spending hours just to converse.

[+ DrownedBoy]

A small note - people here should realize that not only gay men have finding "companionship" lately. It's a societal thing.

So watch out for people who might take advantage of this situation.

https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/03/new-surgeon-general-advisory-raises-alarm-about-devastating-impact-epidemic-loneliness-isolation-united-states.html

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, TMonti96 said:

If he managed to mingle so well, this is the proof that he is a true "escort" in the etymological meaning of the word, and not just a sex worker.

Some escorts don’t really seem to get this point. Sex is an important client need to meet, but it may not be the primary or only need. Sometimes you don’t even need to offer sex for the client to realize a great value from hiring an “escort”. Traditionally, escorting was exactly that - accompanying a client for the purposes of companionship. The guys who can’t or won’t provide these services aren’t truly ‘escorts’, just sex workers. Nothing wrong with being a sex worker, by the way. There’s often some level of overlap.

One of my clients likes to hire me for platonic time together swimming in his apartment complex pool, having conversation, checking out other guys together, and general hanging out time. He loves it and I charge him less than my full escort rate but not by a lot, because my time is my biggest asset, regardless of what I am doing with it or the level of effort involved. He’s happy to pay it because he values the service as much as I value my time. I don’t care if someone is spoon feeding me caviar on a yacht. It’s time I am spending making money no matter how much or how little I am enjoying myself, no matter how fancy or humble the scenario. My job is to be good company to those who hire me. That’s priority #1.

The value I am getting and the reason I am there with a client in any scenario is to make money. I can lift my own spoon and buy my own drinks at my own preferred destination with my own money on my own time, without being beholden to anyone for anything. I wouldn’t take off on a paid for vacation with a client if all I was getting was the “experience”. I still have to pay my bills and I can’t do that when I’m not spending time earning my typical rates. I think it’s important for clients to keep this in mind when they hire for fancy trips thinking some or most of the value they are providing to the escort is the things they are paying for besides his fee. The fee is still very important. All of those extra things may be nice, but they are ultimately to facilitate an experience for the benefit of the client himself.

My recently widowed neighbor brings her masseuse on several extravagant vacations with her throughout the year, all expenses paid. The masseuse is not doing massage on these trips either. It’s platonic companionship only and they share a room. I think my neighbor is a lesbian but hasn’t come out after decades of straight marriage. Just my take. Anyway, I wonder how her masseuse manages to keep up with her finances because those trips may be lovely and fun and enjoyable for her, but she still has to pay for her regular monthly expenses that aren’t accounted for on the trips, like insurance, medical care, rent/mortgage, etc which don’t pause when you go on vacation. When she’s not working, she’s not earning. She may enjoy staying in 5-star hotels, but she’s sacrificing her income for the sake of her client’s pleasure by attending and providing companionship for free. In my opinion, she really should be paid something.

All said, rates for companionship tend to be negotiable much moreso than sex work rates. Propose something to an escort you like and trust. Lay out your expectations and wants. Maybe he will accept, maybe he will counter. You should be able to find a mutually agreeable arrangement. The seasoned professional will be able to hold his own, maintain appropriate boundaries, and show you an amazing time, with or without any sex.

One of my clients here on CoM proposed we go out to dinner this summer after a romp in the sheets. I told him he can hire me for my time for the dinner if he likes (I quoted him a much lower rate for that part than the romp), and that I would oblige him for free if I had nobody booking me after him. He would need to hire me though if he wanted me to reserve the time for him. He agreed to play it by ear in case my evening ended up remaining free after him. Lo and behold, as the date approached, another client booked a time with me right after the first client’s time. It makes more financial sense for me to take the second client at my full rate, so I told the first client that I was booked and wouldn’t be able to accompany him to dinner after our paid time. I like the first client and would have enjoyed the dinner with him unpaid, but it makes no sense for me to turn down a full rate client in favor of a freebie or reduced rate dinner date. So that’s what I did: I took the second client and declined the dinner.

[marylander1940]

I can't remember his name but there was an ad from a guy who offered nothing but unlimited hugging.

It didn't last long in RM!

[BuffaloKyle]

@LaffingBear I would still reach out to guys on RM if you are just looking for someone to take out to dinner. If a provider has nothing going on and you asked if they wanted to meet at a restaurant for a fully paid meal and a little cash to cover any transportation or gas I don't know why they wouldn't want to take you up on your offer. Groceries are expensive!

[Thelatin]

There really are no set in stone rules.  I’ve met with providers who decline dinner.  I’ve also met with providers who have come looking for me the following day to have lunch.   I’ve ended up going out to unplanned dinners with providers and their travel companions.  
 

It’s really just best to be friendly and see what happens. 

Edited September 23, 2024 by Thelatin

[rojjodc]

I thought "boyfriend" experience would cover what you are asking for.  I would still be a little concerned with some of the guys offering that service, as I have seen escorts in places or events, who may have seemed to hire for that service, and the escort did not seem to be paying the guy as much attention as cruising someone else or doing other things like partying excessively.  One ocean cruise I went to a few years ago, one guy paid for a young cute man and the young seemed to get drunk every day and flirt up a storm, mostly ignoring his companion.  In another instance, another cute young guy entered in a strip bar with an older guy and his eyes and conversation wandered everywhere except with the older guy he was with.   So if you expect them to only focus your attention on you if you go out to dinner, a bar, or an event, you may be disappointed!

[misterhumphries]

20 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

...He loves it and I charge him less than my full escort rate but not by a lot, because my time is my biggest asset, regardless of what I am doing with it or the level of effort involved. He’s happy to pay it because he values the service as much as I value my time. I don’t care if someone is spoon feeding me caviar on a yacht. It’s time I am spending making money no matter how much or how little I am enjoying myself, no matter how fancy or humble the scenario. My job is to be good company to those who hire me. That’s priority #1.

...All said, rates for companionship tend to be negotiable much moreso than sex work rates. ...

So true! I hired one competitive bodybuilder and I made it clear I did not want sex. He had his spiel prepped that he wasn't gay ...blah.. blah. I made it clear that all he had to do was to be present, be naked, and be his hunky, rock-hard self.  Once sex was off the table it was like a weight had been lifted. The elephant in the room had been tranquilized. Conversation flowed. He knocked about 1/3 off his usual hourly rate. A good time was had by all.