Can't trust a bisexual?

[pubic_assistance]

13 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Half the bi guys I've met exhibit deep-seated, perpetual wishy-washiness: they want your money, but can't bring themselves to put in the grunt work to earn it.

Most of the guys who have sex for money aren't actually into it.

Gay or bi.

I would suggest that 50% of your bisexual hires were gay4pay and not actually bisexual. ( I know it's a blurry line ).

[Danny-Darko]

On 5/12/2024 at 9:32 AM, urbanfetish said:

I'm always weary about bi guys when it comes to hiring. In my experience, it has been more "gay for pay" (bi for pay? lol) and I want someone who actually likes sex with guys. I would probably only hire a bi guy if he has good reviews over a lengthy time period (not just 3 reviews in 1 week).

Outside of hiring, wouldn't think twice. If we're going to hook up and no money is involved, there's no issue.

While I agree with you that ideally it would be nice to have sex with somebody that is attracted to guys, in reality at least in my case, it puts them in the same position as you mention the "bi" guys. Because most gay gays don't want to have sex with old out of shape men. So even if they are same sex attracted that doesn't help me any. So the bi/gay4pay thing is not an issue for me. 

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

Most of the guys who have sex for money aren't actually into it.

Gay or bi.

I would suggest that 50% of your bisexual hires were gay4pay and not actually bisexual. ( I know it's a blurry line ).

Agreed!

Besides some guys claim to be bi because some clients see that as more masculine.

[marylander1940]

28 minutes ago, Danny-Darko said:

While I agree with you that ideally it would be nice to have sex with somebody that is attracted to guys, in reality at least in my case, it puts them in the same position as you mention the "bi" guys. Because most gay gays don't want to have sex with old out of shape men. So even if they are same sex attracted that doesn't help me any. So the bi/gay4pay thing is not an issue for me. 

Especially when it comes to the BFE. 

Edited May 15 by marylander1940

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 5/11/2024 at 8:39 PM, Rick M said:

they want your money, but can't bring themselves to put in the grunt work to earn it

A lot of guys choose escorting because they don't want to do grunt work...

[urbanfetish]

21 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

No.

The way you worded your post did NOT make that clear.

You said you were tired of bisexuals because they are just gay for play and don't actually like sex with guys.

You seem to have a strange understanding of the word bisexual.

 

I'm so sorry that you seem to have trouble with reading comprehension. Or maybe you just get so triggered around the subject of bisexuality and you just jump into attack mode? I don't know.

This is what I said: "I'm always weary about bi guys when it comes to hiring. In my experience, it has been more "gay for pay" (bi for pay? lol) and I want someone who actually likes sex with guys."

Nowhere in that statement mentions anything about me being "tired of bisexuals" or that bisexuals are really gay4pay nor did I say that bisexuals "don't actually like sex with guys." I literally said the opposite - instead of getting bisexuals who do like sex with guys, most of the providers I have hired who claim to be bisexual are in fact gay4pay and don't like sex with guys; they are just doing the bare minimum (if even) to earn some money. 

Reading (comprehension) is fundamental! 

[urbanfetish]

7 hours ago, Danny-Darko said:

While I agree with you that ideally it would be nice to have sex with somebody that is attracted to guys, in reality at least in my case, it puts them in the same position as you mention the "bi" guys. Because most gay gays don't want to have sex with old out of shape men. So even if they are same sex attracted that doesn't help me any. So the bi/gay4pay thing is not an issue for me. 

Whether they are attracted to guys or not is not really the issue. Most providers are probably not attracted to many of their clients. However, there is still a basic interest in having sex with someone who is the same gender. Straight guys generally don't like to take a cock in the ass but a gay or bi bottom would pretty much always be able to do it regardless of attraction. I could advertise myself as a escort for women, but I would never be able to actually perform to any woman's satisfaction. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

9 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Most of the guys who have sex for money aren't actually into it.

disagree & who cares ?  

I get turned on by guys who have sex for money. I think most are into it for whatever reason.  For those that may not be into it - doesn’t matter if they deliver.

recently had a straight guy who had to watch straight porn in a session: super turn-on for me & I loved it.  his performance was exceptional & he wanted to keep going when I was ready to stop. 

worrying about whether or not someone is “into-it” defeats the entire point. it’s a financial transaction for a service. making it more is a sure way to disappointment 

Edited May 16 by SouthOfTheBorder

[Bokomaru]

8 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

worrying about whether or not someone is “into-it” defeats the entire point.

… for YOU. 

[Danny-Darko]

50 minutes ago, urbanfetish said:

Whether they are attracted to guys or not is not really the issue. Most providers are probably not attracted to many of their clients. However, there is still a basic interest in having sex with someone who is the same gender. Straight guys generally don't like to take a cock in the ass but a gay or bi bottom would pretty much always be able to do it regardless of attraction. I could advertise myself as a escort for women, but I would never be able to actually perform to any woman's satisfaction. 

In general yes, I agree with you. I have had some straight guys give awesome head and get fucked but would not fuck because they "can't get it up with a man". They were usually the same guys that would give awesome head but not get head because of the same reason. All they cared about was my satisfaction and getting their money and a repeat client. They did it only for the money yes, but also knew the concept of "customer satisfaction" is always good for business. And they understood it far better than many gay guys who in general are interested in men, though not us seniors. I also agree with you in that I could never have escorted for women and perform truly satisfying them (nor for men either for that matter). It certainly isn't a profession for just anybody, and these days a lot of men are into it for a "hopefully lucrative" and "easy money" job but fail to realize that there is more to it than just getting naked and collecting the money. Others have commented on how there seems to be a lack of quality escorts and courtesans like in the "good old days". But that's a different conversation.     

[Danny-Darko]

1 hour ago, Bokomaru said:

… for YOU. 

Well, that is also a valid point. But different people want different experiences and have different expectation. I can see your point, but I tend to agree with SouthOfTheBorder because that is what I also like. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 5/12/2024 at 6:20 AM, DrownedBoy said:

Ditto.

Also - a question for providers - is it common to list yourself as bi even if you're almost completely gay? I've met a lot of people (both in the real world and RM) who seem to do that. I'm guessing it signals more masculinity,

I consider myself "bisexual" because I will have sex with BOTH gay men and straight men. 😁

[pubic_assistance]

On 5/15/2024 at 7:23 PM, urbanfetish said:

"I'm always weary about bi guys when it comes to hiring. In my experience, it has been more "gay for pay" (bi for pay? lol) and I want someone who actually likes sex with guys."

Nowhere in that statement mentions anything about me being "tired of bisexuals"

Perhaps you should check the dictionary and look up the meaning of the word "weary".

[urbanfetish]

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Perhaps you should check the dictionary and look up the meaning of the word "weary".

Mea culpa. I meant "wary," as in "feeling or showing caution."  If anything, you could have gotten that from the context clues in my post. 🙄

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, urbanfetish said:

If anything, you could have gotten that from the context clues in my post. 🙄

You seriously need to get over your narcissistic attitude.

Now I'm supposed to understand what you meant to say and not what you ACTUALLY typed? 🙄🙄🙄

The world doesn't revolve around you.

And just because YOU can't tell the difference between an actual bisexual and a gay4pay dude, doesn't mean they are the same.

[urbanfetish]

15 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

You seriously need to get over your narcissistic attitude.

Now I'm supposed to understand what you meant to say and not what you ACTUALLY typed? 🙄🙄🙄

The world doesn't revolve around you.

And just because YOU can't tell the difference between an actual bisexual and a gay4pay dude, doesn't mean they are the same.

Narcissistic? Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. lol 

How would I be able to tell if someone is actually bisexual or just gay4pay if I haven't met them???

I suppose you have trouble when someone accidentally types here/hear, their/they're/there or two/to/too? Life must be tough for you. Or is that "life must bee tough four ewe"? While weary and wary are not exactly homonyms like these examples, they are fairly close in spelling and pronunciation, and easy enough to figure out what was meant.

So, you have a couple of options - get over it or continue to be a dick. Your choice (You're choice?) Sew sorry two confuse U!

Buh-bye Bi!

Edited May 18 by urbanfetish

[+ APPLE1]

I automatically changed "weary" to "wary" in my mind, because "cautious" seems to fit much better than "tired" in that sentence.

Seems worth pointing out, that if there was any question of context or intent, the last paragraph of @urbanfetish post makes it fundamentaly obvious he has no problem having sex with bi guys.

"Outside of hiring, wouldn't think twice. If we're going to hook up and no money is involved, there's no issue."

The only logical observation after reading the last paragraph is to assume that his experience with guys stating "bi" in a profile, when the reality was "gay for pay, " hasn't worked well for him. I think most of us would agree that the potential for perceived dishonesty in a profile makes us cautious.

[+ APPLE1]

13 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I consider myself "bisexual" because I will have sex with BOTH gay men and straight men. 😁

I was very glad I read your ENTIRE post. After reading other posts of yours on here and learning your proclivities, I was taken aback by the first 4 words. They immediately made me wonder if there was a crisis, and you were using some secret code asking us to send HELP! 😉

[Becket]

On 5/11/2024 at 8:52 PM, Trick said:

My experience with those who advertise as bisexual is that most of them are hesitant with the kissing. Just an observation, not a generalization.

I sort of agree with the OP, but I must say that a wonderful fellow I see is both truly bisexual and a great kisser, among other things. I guess it's just who you find. Sexuality is really broader and more varied than we think. (Another fellow I know has a favorite saying: "Well fuck a duck!" And given the chance I think he just might!" 

Labels are just broad categories anyway. Again....quoting the hysterical Lewis Black: We are all......like snowflakes.

Edited May 19 by Becket
inspiration from God.

[DWnyc]

On 5/12/2024 at 1:08 PM, Rick M said:

Ok, y'all have focused on kissing, but kissing is a dicey proposition in all 3 categories. (My ex, who is as gay as they come, abhorred kissing and refused any lip proximity.) I'm talking about being "into" male-male sex in general, or at least play-acting the part so well it doesn't make a difference.

Hard to sustain one’s business in this field if they can’t fake it - no one would care what they called themselves if they left happy. 

[DWnyc]

I suspect many list bi as they think they won’t lose gay prospects but may get more closeted or other bi men who will feel safer, feel less judgement etc. 

The same way people adjust their ages / endowment / even race (mixed becoming white, Asian or black becoming mixed etc). Not just by providers but on online hookup apps.

You say there were repeated signs this wasn’t going to work - you should have cut him off at that point. The issue likely isn’t his sexuality but his commitment to doing the work for which you would pay him while still wanting the money. 

[DWnyc]

On 5/15/2024 at 7:33 PM, urbanfetish said:

Straight guys generally don't like to take a cock in the ass but a gay or bi bottom would pretty much always be able to do it regardless of attraction.

I wouldn’t be able to … 

Part of the rationale for providers is service on demand. If a straight or bi  provider claims they can deliver regardless of to whom, they’re as qualified as anyone else.

The question for me isn’t are you gay or not, but can you provide an experience I want once we confirm terms. Once a provider - gay bi or whatever - starts asking for photo, says “it depends” for some services, I strike them off any consideration as they aren’t hiding they likely can’t. Then we can avoid the runaround where they expect payment without delivering.

[carolus]

On 5/12/2024 at 2:39 AM, Rick M said:

I don't want to sound unfair or damning by categorization, but a recent experience leads me to revisit the subject of my sexual compatibility with guys who call themselves straight vs. bi vs. gay. First of all, my own encounters have forced me to conclude that straight men cannot pull off a convincing scene with gay men--it's a wasted effort when they try to emulate a level of intimacy greater than posing, looking pretty, or getting their cocks sucked. A real difficulty arises in judging bisexuals... Unless one has done the deed with a bi individual, one can't predict how rewarding a fuck will be.

The data I've accumulated suggests a flake rate of roughly 50%. Sure, there are gay providers who are flaky (unreliable, not in the moment), but I get the sense from them that they are having a bad day, or they are fried from drugs. Half the bi guys I've met exhibit deep-seated, perpetual wishy-washiness: they want your money, but can't bring themselves to put in the grunt work to earn it. Latest example: a simple request for phone sex. The provider set up a time, then canceled. Renegotiated, then postponed over and over. Came up with excuses involving his dog or muddling his massage appointments. I had to give up on him. There are hints in his RM profile and related media that he is more of a ladies' man, anyway. 

Therefore, in the future I will be scrutinizing and (if I can) screening any prospective escort, for either a physical or virtual engagement, who lists that nebulous middle ground as his orientation.

My sincere apologies to any dualists reading this who take pride in satisfying their own sex.

generalising isn't good or wise.

This doesn't mean that bi guys are inherently flaky due to merely being bi. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

One thing - I've seen a number of bi ads where they say they're into both men and women.

Now, they probably don't get many (if any) women as customers, but it does increase their market.

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

One thing - I've seen a number of bi ads where they say they're into both men and women.

Now, they probably don't get many (if any) women as customers, but it does increase their market.

My opinion about that: If you're advertising on Rent.men you're not actually marketing to women you're marketing to gay men who have str8-guy fantasies.