Gay people often have older brothers. Why? And does it matter?

[ShortCutie7]

21 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Large nuclear families are queer today (not the norm) 

😉

I never thought of it, but that’s absolutely true!  I don’t think I know anyone around my age (mid-thirties) who has more than two kids.

[+ WilliamM]

On 4/16/2024 at 9:18 AM, marylander1940 said:

Most guys in the military put on weight right after leaving service

Perhaps men who served only in save places in the United States 

 

[Peter Eater]

21 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

homosexual since it clearly defines that I am (solely) sexually attracted to other men

Sure, but homosexuality isn’t only about sex.

[Peter Eater]

21 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

queer" indeed means strange or different and describes things that are not the norm.  The alphabet soup of groups included in the modern GBLT+ now represents the normal attitudes of society

Nah, American society remains heteronormative. If wishes were horses…

[ShortCutie7]

1 hour ago, Peter Eater said:

Sure, but homosexuality isn’t only about sex.

I see what you mean, but for me it is because I have never felt romantic love.

[caramelsub]

31 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I see what you mean, but for me it is because I have never felt romantic love.

Me neither. I’ve never felt what it’s like to truly be in love with someone intimately. I’ve had many sexual encounters, but never any romantic relationships. For a while I thought I was aromantic, (not to be confused with asexual). Just because I’m strictly into the physical act of having sex, and not the hand holding, cuddling, even kissing, and other acts of intimacy. I see a therapist to help work out these things. She doesn’t think I’m aromantic, but she thinks I have a sex addiction.

[ShortCutie7]

2 hours ago, caramelsub said:

Me neither. I’ve never felt what it’s like to truly be in love with someone intimately. I’ve had many sexual encounters, but never any romantic relationships. For a while I thought I was aromantic, (not to be confused with asexual). Just because I’m strictly into the physical act of having sex, and not the hand holding, cuddling, even kissing, and other acts of intimacy. I see a therapist to help work out these things. She doesn’t think I’m aromantic, but she thinks I have a sex addiction.

Funny thing is, for me kissing is the most important part of sex.  I’d define myself as homosexual/aromantic in that I don’t see myself getting married or spending the rest of my life with anyone.  I don’t look at a hot guy and have the desire to do anything with him other than make out and have sex… I have friends and family to spend time with and generally prefer being alone anyway.  But I also definitely don’t have a sex addiction, considering how infrequently I have sex 🤷‍♂️ 

[Rudynate]

On 4/16/2024 at 5:55 AM, caramelsub said:

I don’t believe there is any correlation. I’ve known too many gay men that are oldest, only children, have sisters, are twins, etc. 

I come from a very large family and I have 3 sisters and 5 brothers. I'm the third child.  First and second children are both brothers.

[Rudynate]

5 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I see what you mean, but for me it is because I have never felt romantic love.

Prior to meeting my husband, I had been in a few relationships that were all short-lived - the longest was a few months and I would characterize them all as flirtations or infatuations.  At some point, I diagnosed myself as having a classic gay man's fear of intimacy. Within 2 or 3 years after that I met my husband and we have been a couple for 32 years. 

Edited April 21 by Rudynate

[+ WilliamM]

On 4/16/2024 at 9:18 AM, marylander1940 said:

Most guys in the military put on weight right after leaving service

Perhaps men who served only in save places in the United States 

As a twin, probably doesn't apply to me 

[Becket]

In my neighborhood growing up, all the middle children in every family turned out gay, or at least bi. I've always been intrigued about that fact.

[Peter Eater]

On 4/21/2024 at 9:56 AM, caramelsub said:

y. I see a therapist to help work out these things. She doesn’t think I’m aromantic, but she thinks I have a sex addiction.

She could be right. Often, having promiscuous sex is a way to prevent having an intimate personal relationship. Kissing can enhance the illusion of intimacy with someone you know will not be around in the morning (or in 20 minutes). And frequency of the sex act isn’t what determines sex addiction; acting out takes many forms, including porn, masturbation, failing at relationships, app cruising, street cruising, daydreaming, etc. Hope she helps you out.

Edited April 22 by Peter Eater

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, Peter Eater said:

Often, having promiscuous sex is a way to prevent having an intimate personal relationship.

Is it a way to PREVENT from having an intimate relationship or a way of dealing with the impossible task of finding one ?🤔

 

[Peter Eater]

23 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Is it a way to PREVENT from having an intimate relationship or a way of dealing with the impossible task of finding one ?🤔

 

It’s a way to prevent it.

[marylander1940]

On 4/22/2024 at 7:05 PM, Peter Eater said:

 Often, having promiscuous sex is a way to prevent having an intimate personal relationship. 

Count your blessings, that's better than no (free) sex at all. 

 

[Rod Hagen]

On 4/15/2024 at 6:46 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

I have seen similar stories, and it has to do with the mother's built up resistance to a protein made by the Y chromosome from the previous sons.  Mothers build up antibodies with each male fetus.  The presence of those antibodies in later pregnancies affects the development of the male's brain to become homosexual.

We may know why younger brothers are more likely to be gay

WWW.NEWSCIENTIST.COM

---

An immune response in some pregnant women’s bodies may explain the “fraternal birth order...

 

Thank you very much, I hadn't read about this study/finding.  Very interesting to me, and it was great that they quoted Dean Hammer at the end.  I loved his study, and I NEVER understood why gays were so opposed to him and his finding/hypothesis.  I have a hard time reconciling Bogaert's Y Chromosome finding/hypothesis, which makes sense, with  Dean Hammer's XQ28 ( I used to have that T-shirt!).  And so I asked Perplexity, which told me this (but I still don't see the connection):

In summary, Bogaert's and Hamer's studies complement each other by providing a more comprehensive understanding of the biological underpinnings of male homosexuality, involving both genetic and maternal immune factors. Their combined research supports the view that sexual orientation has a biological basis, rather than being solely a matter of choice or social/environmental influences. 

 

[Medin]

On 4/24/2024 at 6:52 PM, Rod Hagen said:

Thank you very much, I hadn't read about this study/finding.  Very interesting to me, and it was great that they quoted Dean Hammer at the end.  I loved his study, and I NEVER understood why gays were so opposed to him and his finding/hypothesis.  I have a hard time reconciling Bogaert's Y Chromosome finding/hypothesis, which makes sense, with  Dean Hammer's XQ28 ( I used to have that T-shirt!).  And so I asked Perplexity, which told me this (but I still don't see the connection):

In summary, Bogaert's and Hamer's studies complement each other by providing a more comprehensive understanding of the biological underpinnings of male homosexuality, involving both genetic and maternal immune factors. Their combined research supports the view that sexual orientation has a biological basis, rather than being solely a matter of choice or social/environmental influences. 

 

Thank you for bringing up Dean Hammer.  My ex-partner was part of his original study back in the early 90's because he had a gay brother.  I was asked to be part of the study because I too have an older gay brother but they had enough participants by the time I tried to sign up.  We are both middle children. In the case of my ex, he was the youngest of four brothers and his gay brother was the eldest so they were the opposite.  In regards to the potential maternal connection, my mom had three gay brothers so who knows, maybe there is something to that.   At this point, nobody knows the reason but the topic comes up on this forum every few months with the usual characters insisting they "chose" their sexual orientation vs. "choosing" their actions/reaction to it.  

Can someone also explain the so-called "gay lifestyle" to me?  I'm gay, my brother is gay..we both came out when we were in diapers.  Never had any issues with sexual orientation or identity.  Many or most of my friends and plenty of my family are gay.   None of us (as far as we know) live a "gay lifestyle" and not really sure what that means.  Does that mean we are in a gay relationship?  If yes, then I guess we all live a gay lifestyle.  Does that mean we use the word queer, watch Bravo, are only interested in going to the gym, walk around with our shirts off 90% of the time and call each other "Bitch"?  I've known thousands of gay men during my life but I've never met anyone into that stuff.   Every time I hear that term "gay lifestyle" I cringe-always wondering exactly what is meant by that.  

[Archangel]

I didn’t read any of the topic but I’m jumping in…in good internet form! 🤣 

I’m the oldest of three. I have a younger sister and we have a younger brother. Both my siblings are straight.

I’ve heard different postulations about birth order and sexuality over the years. Perhaps there’s a statistical correlation, but it well could be circumstantial. Just because something appears doesn’t mean it is.

[+ WilliamM]

I have  a ew young gay friend who  has four older straight brothers 

He is.  Probably not an escort 

I would pay to see his ass however 

[pubic_assistance]

On 4/29/2024 at 1:22 PM, Medin said:

Many or most of my friends and plenty of my family are gay.   None of us (as far as we know) live a "gay lifestyle" and not really sure what that means.

If most of your friends are gay, you're probably living the lifestyle of a gay person.

Both my wife and I dabbled in same sex relationships and decided it wasn't for us. Neither of us enjoyed that lifestyle habit where gays only socialize with other gays.

Thats where "gay lifestyle" starts: Isolating yourself from mainstream society.

 

 

[+ Charlie]

When I hear the term "gay lifestyle," I think of someone who is openly gay, has gay friends, is or has been sexually active with other men, and probably has a male partner or is searching for one. When many straight people hear the term, they probably assume that the person is also a drag queen, likes to wear make-up and clothing that stands out in a crowd, drinks too much, and loves to dance.

[+ nycman]

4 hours ago, Charlie said:

When I hear the term "gay lifestyle," I think of someone who is openly gay, has gay friends, is or has been sexually active with other men, and probably has a male partner or is searching for one. When many straight people hear the term, they probably assume that the person is also a drag queen, likes to wear make-up and clothing that stands out in a crowd, drinks too much, and loves to dance.

It sounds like you think those are two different groups of people?

grin

“Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)”

― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

[Medin]

8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

If most of your friends are gay, you're probably living the lifestyle of a gay person.

Both my wife and I dabbled in same sex relationships and decided it wasn't for us. Neither of us enjoyed that lifestyle habit where gays only socialize with other gays.

Thats where "gay lifestyle" starts: Isolating yourself from mainstream society.

 

 

That's definitely not me nor anyone else I know.   Maybe that's common in NYC or other cities with large gay populations?  

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, Medin said:

Maybe that's common in NYC or other cities with large gay populations?  

Yes. It's very common in places with large gay populations.

Their life starts to revolve around being gay. There's a couple who live on my block. The spend all summer on gay cruised. Oniy go to gay bars, only eat in gay owned restaurants and turn every conversation into a comment about how much better gay people are.