Provider is frequent visitor to sex parties at The Eagle, NYC?

[BaronArtz]

I have been working with a new provider in NYC.  He looks healthy, is athletic and offers an excellent service.  During our sessions, he is adamant about safe sex only, which I value and appreciate.  So far, all good.

In between sessions, he likes to keep in touch with me via text.  I don't know why, but he tells me how much he likes going to The Eagle in NYC on Friday and Saturday nights.  In his words, the 1st floor there is a real bacchanal.  Sexual acts going on between patrons all over the place, not just the rest rooms.  And all unprotected sex.  He says most men in the US are all on prep anyway.  It sounds like a bath house, which I didn't think still exist in NYC.

Home - The Eagle NYC (eagle-ny.com)

One time, he had to cancel a Saturday afternoon session with me because he had been at The Eagle until 5 a,m.   But overall he is reliable, courteous and professional about things.  A bit too honest maybe?  I am now confused how to proceed with him.  Having safe sex will protect me against HIV but not against other STDs.  

What would be your advice?

[pubic_assistance]

8 minutes ago, BaronArtz said:

What would be your advice?

Get yourself checked for STIs frequently and enjoy the good company.

Anyone who's sexually active is going to be at some risk of STI transmission.  At least this guy is being up front and honest with you. That's a keeper.

 

[Thomas_Belgium]

10 minutes ago, BaronArtz said:

...He says most men in the US are all on prep anyway...

 

According to the CDC only a few percent of the men in the US are on PrEP:

PrEP Coverage | HIV in the US | HIV Statistics Center | HIV | CDC

WWW.CDC.GOV

---

Information and data about PrEP coverage in the US.

 

[+ FrankR]

11 minutes ago, BaronArtz said:

I have been working with a new provider in NYC.  He looks healthy, is athletic and offers an excellent service.  During our sessions, he is adamant about safe sex only, which I value and appreciate.  So far, all good.

In between sessions, he likes to keep in touch with me via text.  I don't know why, but he tells me how much he likes going to The Eagle in NYC on Friday and Saturday nights.  In his words, the 1st floor there is a real bacchanal.  Sexual acts going on between patrons all over the place, not just the rest rooms.  And all unprotected sex.  He says most men in the US are all on prep anyway.  It sounds like a bath house, which I didn't think still exist in NYC.

Home - The Eagle NYC (eagle-ny.com)

One time, he had to cancel a Saturday afternoon session with me because he had been at The Eagle until 5 a,m.   But overall he is reliable, courteous and professional about things.  A bit too honest maybe?  I am now confused how to proceed with him.  Having safe sex will protect me against HIV but not against other STDs.  

What would be your advice?

You did say you are practicing safe sex, right? Safe sex (I assume that means condoms) should protect you to a large extent from other STDs also. So now you have to decide if that decreases the risk to the level you find acceptable. 

[+ nycman]

You can only really be responsible for your own health.

Regardless of what he tells you, proceed as if he (and everyone else) has every STD imaginable.

Dumb, but honest advice. 

[MaybeMaybeNot]

Does he participate? I love visiting The Eagle when in NYC but only to watch.  

[+ Charlie]

Thanks for providing that link to the Eagle homepage--it brought back interesting memories. I was at the opening party for the original Eagle on 21st St, as a result of a brief affair with the manager, so long ago that I can't even remember his name.

[BaronArtz]

54 minutes ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

 

According to the CDC only a few percent of the men in the US are on PrEP:

PrEP Coverage | HIV in the US | HIV Statistics Center | HIV | CDC

WWW.CDC.GOV

---

Information and data about PrEP coverage in the US.

 

I appreciate that, but not all men are sexually active with multiple partners.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

If you're going to be sexually active, you should probably look into adding PrEP into the mix.

As others have said, only YOU are responsible for you.  Use every tool at your disposal.

Otherwise, don't mess with a good thing.

 

 

 

[pubic_assistance]

4 minutes ago, BaronArtz said:

I appreciate that, but not all men are sexually active with multiple partners.

Absolutely.

Urban gay men do have a tendency to assume that all gay (and bi) men are hooking up constantly like they do in NYC, LA and Miami.

The smaller population of the town, or rural area - the more likely it is for gay men to have monogamous relationships.

[musclestuduws]

6 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

I have been working with a new provider in NYC.  He looks healthy, is athletic and offers an excellent service.  During our sessions, he is adamant about safe sex only, which I value and appreciate.  So far, all good.

In between sessions, he likes to keep in touch with me via text.  I don't know why, but he tells me how much he likes going to The Eagle in NYC on Friday and Saturday nights.  In his words, the 1st floor there is a real bacchanal.  Sexual acts going on between patrons all over the place, not just the rest rooms.  And all unprotected sex.  He says most men in the US are all on prep anyway.  It sounds like a bath house, which I didn't think still exist in NYC.

Home - The Eagle NYC (eagle-ny.com)

One time, he had to cancel a Saturday afternoon session with me because he had been at The Eagle until 5 a,m.   But overall he is reliable, courteous and professional about things.  A bit too honest maybe?  I am now confused how to proceed with him.  Having safe sex will protect me against HIV but not against other STDs.  

What would be your advice?

Interesting indeed that he shares all that with you and in so much detail. First, it’s good he’s so honest with you even though he risks losing a good client by doing so. I wonder if he secretly hopes you might take the bait and offer to go with or meet him at the Eagle to have some fun together. Perhaps he’d like to turn his relationship with you into something that occasionally goes beyond “strictly business”? Just a thought.

P.S.: Regardless, given you’re very active sexually in a city like NYC you should probably talk to your doctor and at least seriously consider being on Prep. 

Edited March 2 by musclestuduws

[NYXboy]

Even if he is NOT going to the Eagle, he is a sex worker and will be having sex with lots of people. 

For someone who has been indulging in providers as longs as you have and is such a prolific poster on these threads - I am surprised you would post such a naive post. I suspect you are having other feelings about him going to the eagle, perhaps a touch of jealousy/insecurity that he is giving it away to others for free, rather than a concern about him having an STD from sex with other people.  

In any case, all STD's can be transmitted even when using condoms-  esp if you are NOT using condoms for oral sex.  Anyone who is sexually active should practice safe sex (taking Prep is practicing safe sex)  and regularly tested. 

 

6 hours ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

According to the CDC only a few percent of the men in the US are on PrEP:

every single GAY man I know in nyc uses Prep, esp sex workers. 

[DWnyc]

3 hours ago, NYXboy said:

every single GAY man I know in nyc uses Prep,

I know a few that claim they do (online profiles) but don’t in reality (discussions in real life). Same with some people (including providers) representing their status one way online and disclosing something different in conversation. 

as others say, take care of of yourself and behave based on your own criteria and situation, not what someone tells you about themselves 

the provider using protection with you could be more about his wish to protect you than a comment on his behavior at other times 

 

[BaronArtz]

7 hours ago, musclestuduws said:

Interesting indeed that he shares all that with you and in so much detail. First, it’s good he’s so honest with you even though he risks losing a good client by doing so. I wonder if he secretly hopes you might take the bait and offer to go with or meet him at the Eagle to have some fun together. Perhaps he’d like to turn his relationship with you into something that occasionally goes beyond “strictly business”? Just a thought.

P.S.: Regardless, given you’re very active sexually in a city like NYC you should probably talk to your doctor and at least seriously consider being on Prep. 

Hi musclestuduws ... I didn't think about it at first but now that you wrote this - I think you are absolutely right.  I met with him this afternoon, at his apartment, not (yet) at The Eagle.  Not only did he give me 2 hours overtime off the clock - naked on his couch, sipping a few gin & tonics - and began to describe the various kinks that he is into.  He clearly wants more than a wham bam transactional experience,  Or maybe he is a great actor ...

In any event, I am enjoying the ride,

Edited March 3 by BaronArtz

[musclestuduws]

33 minutes ago, BaronArtz said:

Hi musclestuduws ... I didn't think about it at first but now that you wrote this - I think you are absolutely right.  I met with him this afternoon, at his apartment, not (yet) at The Eagle.  Not only did he give me 2 hours overtime off the clock and began to describe the various kinks that he is into.  He clearly wants more than a wham bam transactional experience,  Or maybe he is a great actor ...

In any event, I am enjoying the ride,

Glad my input help @BaronArtz  Sounds like you’re both having a hot fun time together. And I sense you’re already thinking about having your way with him at The Eagle 😉👏🏻. Keep enjoying the ride! 

[NYXboy]

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

 

as others say, take care of of yourself and behave based on your own criteria and situation, not what someone tells you about themselves 

 

That is the beauty of Prep - if you take it you don't have to worry about whether your partner does. Which is why the whole discussion is null and void.  

[soloyo215]

22 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

What would be your advice?

None. Let him be. Especially since he has safer sex with you. The only difference between him and many others is that he lets you know. Providers are in a high-risk line of work, that's no secret. Having first-hand knowledge and details about it might cause concern, but the way I see it, it's just awareness.

I've herad of The Eagle in NYC. Seems to be the one of that type of establishment that has survivied. In my experience, the sex party scene in NYC is almost exclusively unprotected sex. Rarely have I seen a person using protection. And that's since way before PreP.

22 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

Having safe sex will protect me against HIV but not against other STDs. 

That's not exactly that cut and dry. It depends of what you do and through which orifice. This is best thought of as levels of risk, rather than in absolute terms. Doing something increases or decreases the risk of transmission. That's why health educators (like I was once upon a time) use the term "safer sex" instead of "safe sex".

[HoseMaster]

11 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

Hi musclestuduws ... I didn't think about it at first but now that you wrote this - I think you are absolutely right.  I met with him this afternoon, at his apartment, not (yet) at The Eagle.  Not only did he give me 2 hours overtime off the clock - naked on his couch, sipping a few gin & tonics - and began to describe the various kinks that he is into.  He clearly wants more than a wham bam transactional experience,  Or maybe he is a great actor ...

In any event, I am enjoying the ride,

Please don’t take this in a negative way, as I think we all hoped with one of our encounters that it might lead to more than just a client/escort relationship.  What’s the age difference between you two?  Do you have a lot in common?  Do you think this might go somewhere?

I only asked, as I’ve been duped before and it seemed so real for awhile.  I also have been on a couple trips with a Colombian escort who knows another Colombian kid from his home town that came here to escort in the Mew York/Washington D.C. area and found a client here in the U.S. up near Washington D.C. who became his client, then sugar daddy.  I follow this other kid too on social media, as I remember when he was escorting too.  I saw his new “sugar daddy” bought him a BMW, as he showed it off on social media.  When I asked the Colombian guy I hired about him, his friend (now no longer an escort) is getting married to this “sugar daddy” to get his U.S. citizenship.  He says there is like a 30-40 year age difference between them.  Several months ago, I saw the kid getting new keys to a pretty nice new house in the Miami area.  Soon after he’s posting pictures of his family from Colombia visiting.   When I asked my friend (the Colombian escort I’ve seen a few times) about this, he says they got married, and his sugar daddy bought him this multi-million dollar house.  My friend further went on to say that once this former escort gets his citizenship, he is divorcing him (the sugar daddy).

Now I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here with you, but just keep your eyes open, watch out for red flags, and think with you big head over the little one.  Enjoy the ride while you can.

[jackcali]

20 hours ago, HoseMaster said:

I also have been on a couple trips with a Colombian escort who knows another Colombian kid from his home town that came here to escort in the Mew York/Washington D.C. area and found a client here in the U.S. up near Washington D.C. who became his client, then sugar daddy.  I follow this other kid too on social media, as I remember when he was escorting too.  I saw his new “sugar daddy” bought him a BMW, as he showed it off on social media.  When I asked the Colombian guy I hired about him, his friend (now no longer an escort) is getting married to this “sugar daddy” to get his U.S. citizenship.  He says there is like a 30-40 year age difference between them.  Several months ago, I saw the kid getting new keys to a pretty nice new house in the Miami area.  Soon after he’s posting pictures of his family from Colombia visiting.   When I asked my friend (the Colombian escort I’ve seen a few times) about this, he says they got married, and his sugar daddy bought him this multi-million dollar house.  My friend further went on to say that once this former escort gets his citizenship, he is divorcing him (the sugar daddy).

This is a common story, and not only in the gay world.  Through my work, I've known several older men who married much younger women who started as sugar babies and then graduated to wives.  A BMW is one thing, but hopefully the sugar daddy in your story still has or shares title to the house and put a good pre-nup in place before the marriage. 

[BaronArtz]

20 hours ago, HoseMaster said:

Please don’t take this in a negative way, as I think we all hoped with one of our encounters that it might lead to more than just a client/escort relationship.  What’s the age difference between you two?  Do you have a lot in common?  Do you think this might go somewhere?

I only asked, as I’ve been duped before and it seemed so real for awhile.  I also have been on a couple trips with a Colombian escort who knows another Colombian kid from his home town that came here to escort in the Mew York/Washington D.C. area and found a client here in the U.S. up near Washington D.C. who became his client, then sugar daddy.  I follow this other kid too on social media, as I remember when he was escorting too.  I saw his new “sugar daddy” bought him a BMW, as he showed it off on social media.  When I asked the Colombian guy I hired about him, his friend (now no longer an escort) is getting married to this “sugar daddy” to get his U.S. citizenship.  He says there is like a 30-40 year age difference between them.  Several months ago, I saw the kid getting new keys to a pretty nice new house in the Miami area.  Soon after he’s posting pictures of his family from Colombia visiting.   When I asked my friend (the Colombian escort I’ve seen a few times) about this, he says they got married, and his sugar daddy bought him this multi-million dollar house.  My friend further went on to say that once this former escort gets his citizenship, he is divorcing him (the sugar daddy).

Now I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here with you, but just keep your eyes open, watch out for red flags, and think with you big head over the little one.  Enjoy the ride while you can.

Thank you for your message and for expressing your concern,  

A few years ago, I was almost lured into a relationship like that with (now retired) Muscle Stud Boy.  Thankfully, I didn't go through with it - long story.  With this guy, the age difference is not extreme, but it is there - 20 years.  I am not going to be a sugar daddy to anybody,  Those relationships have a limited chance of succeeding,  No, thanks.

[marylander1940]

On 3/2/2024 at 10:19 AM, BaronArtz said:

Having safe sex will protect me against HIV but not against other STDs.  

What would be your advice?

yes it will from HIV like it did during decades when the only way to prevent it was using a condom.

Unfortunately there are other things you could catch just by giving or receiving oral but the risk is minumum.

Where is The Eagle and how early precisely the fun starts? 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This thread remains a good reminder that no matter what age you are, if you're sexually active, you should find a way to access PrEP.

If you're having a lot of sex, I'd ask a doctor about on-demand doxyPrEP. 

Condoms, sure, but for a lot of guys, that's just not realistic anymore.  They're not using them.  They won't use them.

 

[Zimby]

As a client, if you are not having frequent sex, (and maybe doesn't merit being on PREP on a daily basis) but are concerned with being with a provider because of their sexual activity you can talk to your doctor about taking PREP ON DEMAND.  The dosing is different, but you only take it around the window of sexual activity.

I am not a medical professional so I am hesitant to get into the dosing, but it is an option for gay men that don't have sex on a regular basis but still want to make sure they are taking care of themselves when they do.

[Xavitv]

The Eagle is not a bathhouse. I think it’s probably the only (at least profitable) leather bar left in nyc. It expanded during lockdown to include a decent sized dance floor. Saturdays get pretty packed but I always have a fun time. I usually get there around midnight and it’s already on the raunchy side. 

 

 he is at least being honest with you about his eagle nights. That’s pretty good.

[BaronArtz]

11 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

yes it will from HIV like it did during decades when the only way to prevent it was using a condom.

Unfortunately there are other things you could catch just by giving or receiving oral but the risk is minumum.

Where is The Eagle and how early precisely the fun starts? 

Google is your friend:

Home - The Eagle NYC (eagle-ny.com)

Based on third party information, my understanding is that the sex fest on the first floor is happening on Friday and Saturday night.  And is not limited to in-bathroom only.