How Does Provider Relationship Status Influence Your Hiring Decisions?

[viewing ownly]

Bottom line is it really is none of the client's business what your own relationship status is. Just like there's no need for you to know theirs, although if they bring up their personal life to you, that's their prerogative (true story - I had to type up the Bobby Brown song to see how that is spelled, ha ha).

Since you're in a committed relationship, that may put some people off, believing the level of sensuality will have it's limits. This is a natural assumption to make, even if it may not be true. I personally find it really hot when I see two men who are a couple offer erotic massage together, although I've never taken the plunge due to the high rates they tend to command.

[Jamie21]

16 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I guess what rubs me the wrong way is that the client is asking me something that presumably either a) requires me to lie in order to satisfy his fantasy, or b) costs me his business if I tell the truth.

I just say ‘I’m single’ if asked. I think you probably thought too much about his question. I mean isn’t a lot of what we do point a) in your post above? We create a fantasy and a fantasy is about suspending the truth or reality for a period. No harm in it. 

Perhaps by responding with “I’ll be whatever you want me to be” was a bit too much ‘letting of light in upon magic’? Maybe that’s why he got upset. I think you can be whoever he wants you to be to the limit of your willingness to do it (that is part of the job) but making it explicit like that ruins the fantasy. 

[Simon Suraci]

Good point @Jamie21. I agree.

[Guest]

On 11/29/2023 at 3:36 PM, Simon Suraci said:

Maybe. But then I once in a while I get conversations like this that turn south rather quickly:

<more disrespectful client drivel…>
<client blocked>

^ I agree with this. It takes an emotionally mature client to handle hiring with grace.

I’m wondering how best to answer the relationship status question. I just don’t like lying which is the easiest way out of having to answer the inevitable follow up questions about the details of my relationship and how it works. Those answers at best distract, and at worst put off the client. I’m wondering if lying is the best way to go about maintaining the fantasy illusion for the client…

…but then again my best clients are the ones who know me quite well and connect with me on a deeper level after hiring me at least a few times. They appreciate my honesty and it doesn’t put them off. In fact, they have more respect for what I do and why I do it. I have a family and a life outside work like anyone else. They get it. Just sucks having to backtrack and say, actually I lied about being single…blah blah blah.

I would've responded with " *you're " before blocking him 😜

[Simon Suraci]

5 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

I would've responded with " *you're " before blocking him 😜

lol. If I had a nickel for every one of those…I could quit the biz! Not that I’m perfect. I let it go.

[Guest]

On 11/29/2023 at 2:16 PM, Simon Suraci said:

I’m in a 10 year long relationship. 11 years next month. He knows exactly what I do for work and accepts it. He does not massage or escort or anything like that; he works in another professional field. We have our challenges at times like any couple, but overall we are happy and this world of hiring is just another normal part of our lives because of my work. I consider my personal life my business and not really my clients’ concern.

Sometimes clients ask me if I am single. I wonder why. I tell them that whether I am single or not that I am not open to any romantic relationships, which is true. Therefore, I find the question irrelevant to their hiring decisions. I share freely about my relationship with trusted regular clients when they ask, but it bothers me when a new contact asks me this as something they need to know before they decide to hire. I would never ask the client’s relationship status or decide not to see them based on their response. Why is it different when clients ask me the same?

Clients: Is this criteria important to you? If so, why?

I perform some aspects of the “boyfriend experience” for clients mature enough to handle the limitations and enjoy it for what it is. That’s it. Whether I have any casual or serious relationships outside work has nothing to do with the client or their experience with me, so I just don’t see why it is so important to some clients.

I interpret what is coded in the question is that the client has some sense that I am - or could be - totally theirs, available 24/7 for free and maybe that prospect, however slim, excites them. In reality, it’s just a fantasy. I could lie saying I’m single to humor them. I could tell the truth and by so doing either alienate them or else invite a host of follow up questions I don’t want or see the point in answering. I find the relationship status question irrelevant to them hiring me. What do you think is fair? Do your providers have to be single (or at least you think that they are single) for you to want to hire them?

Is there some relevance to the question I’m missing? 

Providers: How often do you get a question on your relationship status, and how do you handle your responses?

Your personal life is inconsequential and 100% immaterial to your professional life, to his fantasy life  and how good you are at it and I suspect you're pretty good at what you do 🙂 You handled that well...  you indeed saved yourself from meeting  what  seems to me to be very unpleasant person to put it mildly. 

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

lol. If I had a nickel for every one of those…I could quit the biz! Not that I’m perfect. I let it go.

Just to drive him nuts. I hope you blocked him and never give him an ounce of your energy ever again 😎

[dbar123]

Partners that escort together are  always my favorites for 3 somes. If I try a provider and really like him there is an excellent chance that I will also enjoy his partner if he escorts as well. I might conceivably ask about status for that reason but it usually comes up in conversation without asking.

[pubic_assistance]

8 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Partners that escort together are  always my favorites for 3 somes. If I try a provider and really like him there is an excellent chance that I will also enjoy his partner.

I have the opposite experience.

I have had a few hook ups with couples. In both instances I was turned OFF when they started making-out with each other.

When I hire I want to be the center of attention, not be witness to someone else's romantic connection.

 

 

[+ DrownedBoy]

4 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I have the opposite experience.

I have had a few hook ups with couples. In both instances I was turned OFF when they started making-out with each other.

When I hire I want to be the center of attention, not be witness to someone else's romantic connection.

 

 

That's why I ask couples to only play with each other after I orgasm the first time.  Watching them helps me build up for the second.

[Luv2play]

17 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I have the opposite experience.

I have had a few hook ups with couples. In both instances I was turned OFF when they started making-out with each other.

When I hire I want to be the center of attention, not be witness to someone else's romantic connection.

 

 

I’m open to having the two escorts in a threesome with me get it on together during the session as long as it doesn’t lead to me being excluded from the action or attention. 
In fact sometimes I will explicitly ask them to 69 or fuck one another so I can indulge my voyeuristic fantasies. It’s like being involved in a porn movie set. 
The one time it went sideways a bit was when one escort came in the ass of the other before he had fucked me. The other, who was versatile, stepped into the breach, so to speak, and  topped me.

It all ended ok when the top recovered enough to jack off in my mouth later. It helped that this was a multi hour session.

[Simon Suraci]

8 hours ago, Luv2play said:

two escorts in a threesome

I’ve organized successful threesomes for clients. I only work with guys who get it, who understand that the client is the focus and we take cues from the client to center the session around his pleasure and satisfaction. Some clients love the voyeuristic aspect, others not so much, and others a bit of both. I’m always working toward what the client wants and avoiding getting caught up in a moment with another provider.

[TorontoDrew]

I don't care about the relationship status of a provider and don't ask.  It's none of my business.  Just like mine isn't any of theirs.

If some divulges personal details thats okay but it doesn't matter.  I do like a provider who talks as it helps form a connection that can make asession better but it doesn't have to be personal.

[Guest]

On 11/29/2023 at 3:36 PM, Simon Suraci said:

Maybe. But then I once in a while I get conversations like this that turn south rather quickly:

 

 

 

[JamesB]

This post reminds me the one time I went to see a provider for the first time and within 5 minutes of arriving, he was showing me a picture of his husband. All I could think was: WTH is wrong with this guy. Do I know how to pick them or what LOL!!!

[pubic_assistance]

6 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Some clients love the voyeuristic aspect, others not so much.

 

I'm all-about the voyeurism aspect of a threeway, as long as it's about the S E X.

I really don't want to watch a couple kiss and get all romantic. Ruins the "naughty" vibe that I'm going for.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

a providers personal life is private - very rude to ask questions that aren’t relevant to the appointment.  
I’d say if a client asks an out-of-bounds question, then no obligation to be truthful 

[Jamie21]

On 12/3/2023 at 2:02 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I have the opposite experience.

I have had a few hook ups with couples. In both instances I was turned OFF when they started making-out with each other.

When I hire I want to be the center of attention, not be witness to someone else's romantic connection.

 

 

Some clients like to watch. I’ve done sessions where the client watches me with another provider. The client tends to join in after a while, then we make sure he’s the focus. I only do these type of sessions with providers I’m comfortable working with. 

I’ve also done sessions for clients who are partners and they enjoy watching me with their partner (although occasionally I can sense one partner is much more into it than the other one). 

These kind of scenarios appeal to people’s exhibitionist or voyeuristic tendencies. Nothing wrong with that. It’s not for everyone but if it’s your thing then go for it. Personally I love the exhibitionist opportunities my work brings. 
 

 

[pubic_assistance]

40 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Some clients like to watch

I like to watch two guys get down-n-dirty.

I do NOT enjoy watching a couple make-out. I feel like I am interrupting their private romantic moment. Instead i want to feel like I'm  getting ready to join in and cum in somebody's mouth, while the other dude licks my asshole.

So in this case I would prefer my playmates to NOT be linked romantically.

[Gandalf]

It doesn't matter to me, but for this:  I don't enjoy arriving on site and being aware of someone else's presence.  I just feel distracted by it.  Be as coupled as you like, just don't creak to floorboards during my visit.

[jeezifonly]

An old quote from some guy who regularly hired women:

”I’m not paying these women for sex. I’m paying for them to leave”

[Simon Suraci]

On 12/4/2023 at 7:20 PM, Gandalf said:

I don't enjoy arriving on site and being aware of someone else's presence.

I’m keenly aware of this sentiment. This is one of many reasons why I do not work out of the same place I live. That is why, for me at least, it makes no difference whether I am partnered because he is not present or involved in any way. 

[Gandalf]

1 hour ago, Simon Suraci said:

I’m keenly aware of this sentiment. This is one of many reasons why I do not work out of the same place I live. That is why, for me at least, it makes no difference whether I am partnered because he is not present or involved in any way. 

One of the great thrills of all time was walking past his roommate, who was gaming.