Deposits and when are they ok to ask for it?

[Guest]

My takeaway: you can ask for a deposit, or not. I can only add that I’ve just obtained “Explorer” level on this platform and am very excited.

[+ Jamie21]

17 minutes ago, Km411 said:

My takeaway: you can ask for a deposit, or not. I can only add that I’ve just obtained “Explorer” level on this platform and am very excited.

So many milestones 🙂 You’ve commented on a ‘Deposits’ thread (usually one regrets that decision…but I’ll let you decide that) and you have an ‘Explorer’ badge! Congratulations. 

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

So many milestones 🙂 You’ve commented on a ‘Deposits’ thread (usually one regrets that decision…but I’ll let you decide that) and you have an ‘Explorer’ badge! Congratulations. 

It can be like flirting with the Event Horizon ( the topic of deposits ) 😂

[JB_Studio38]

On 10/17/2023 at 2:12 AM, Phil Wagner said:

So I’ve been running into a lot of people clients trying to book me but they live a state or two away. I ask them for a simple donation of $50 to insure that the booking is legit and not a waste of time and fake. I’ve gotten replies like, “I don’t send deposits anymore because I’ve been burnt too many times by previous guys who never showed up and just took my money” or “ I don’t feel comfortable sending money to someone I haven’t met yet.” I get it, but why should I be punished for other people’s miscues and their issues with other people that doesn’t involve me? If they were in my position they would ask the same thing. I mean who would drive states away without some kind of instance policy to make the appointment secure. Not to mention the travel costs. Am I doing something wrong by asking a client to put up $50 to make it legit? Can someone help me understand this….

So far, have you gotten a chance to decide which decision you’d ultimately like to go with? 
 

By the way, this line you made:

“I don’t send deposits anymore because I’ve been burnt too many times by previous guys who never showed up and just took my money” or “ I don’t feel comfortable sending money to someone I haven’t met yet.”

When I was fresh out of high school in Florida, and got tired of working hectic restaurants and “retail” jobs that would try to fit an entire semi truck worth of items into 1 shelf (and I worked in “linens” department with all the fragile items): I switched to an “office” job that consisted of cold calling property owners who WERE NOT actually looking to sell their vacation properties, but our job was to convince them that they COULD sell it.

So for between $299 and $1299 DOWN/UPFRONT, we would sit and 8 hours a day call people all around the country. And similar to this thread, it was like pulling teeth trying to get people to pay upfront. But this was real money, with their credit card we were asking. However, they were assured they would get a big return. Needless to say, it was a big scam (I was young and didn’t realize it at the time). And, many of the customers would say, “I’ve been burnt before, somebody else said they would sell it and yadda yadda, etc etc.”

I finally got out of that industry after like a year or 2. It was too much. The constant trying to get a sale from someone, and upfront money was crazy. So I know…how hard it is. Eventually I switched to other type of customer service jobs, and then did banking and real estate assistance (yawn, I was so bored I struggled to show up to work…seeing all the executives arrive in their BMWs and Mercedes and me taking the bus which I eventually “upgraded” to a Toyota Camry).

Fast forward now, I have 3 vehicles…and once I switched to escorting I didn’t look back. But it’s ironic now that I’m seeing this same level of resistance with deposits among the community today. Granted at the time, and over the times since I started in 2008…I used to didn’t require deposits for a long time. Again, it was only recently in the last couple years (specifically during and after COVID) that I had decided enough was enough of the risks and pro-Bono travel and hotel bookings. 
 

Even if I had 100 great experiences, it only takes 1 flake to turn your whole day upside down. And without a deposit: that could mean anything from sleeping in the car, to sleeping in an empty hotel room for two days before you get your first client (which happened to me last weekend, even WITH deposits…1 client sent a deposit but I couldn’t make it because I ran out of gas trying to get to my hotel without getting out in the wicked rain (but I rescheduled him 3 days later and he just wrote my latest review on RM), and then another client who sent $100 but HE couldn’t make it). 
 

A deposit essentially makes everything alright, and much more comfortable for me. I never said this story before either but: two years ago just as Covid was starting: I was in the hospital for 5 days. Had an ailment (wasn’t Covid). Couldn’t take a client if I wanted to until I got better. Guess what? I was accepting deposits from my hospital bed, and once I got out: I was eventually able to meet with each client. One was in Naples Florida, the other in Orlando. Then I went to Sarasota. Biggest rebound in my escorting history. All 3 clients sent deposits, so I was able to gas up, book hotels, and everything else.
 

 

above is the list of states I’ve visited (in blue). I almost want to say New York because I have been in the Bronx region briefly on the way to Boston…but it doesn’t count. I’m looking to change that very soon, I have a trip coming up to New York.

So, my experience is very extensive. This is why, people have to understand when you see a lot of things and experience a lot of things: it changes how you do things in your life. Not everybody can please the popular opinion, the masses, or conform to what the next escort and the next escort is doing. 
 

Hopefully you can choose the way that works best for you…

Edited November 22, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[SouthOfTheBorder]

4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

My question to you Vin specifically: because I know you’ve said it somewhere and I quote: “I don’t stay in hotels much these days” And from what it sounds like (correct me if I’m wrong), you are doing a lot of Outcalls, right? So…how would you feel if instead, you had to host clients in hotels…in addition to traveling to San Diego, Los Angeles, Palm Springs etc.

I have no idea what this means.  
I see alot of providers in various places.  Most providers I see are either in my home (known people), their home, or a hotel I happen to be in.  Very very few hotel meetings where the provider has the room - almost none.  There has never been a conversation about the need for a hotel room between a provider and me.  If I do meet a provider in their hotel room, there should be no guilt trip on me because a provider has chosen to get a hotel room in whatever city for whatever reason.  if they have a hotel room, then my assumption is they’ve done an analysis to make sure it pays off.  But, the room & cost is not my problem or concern - I’m booking an hour or two only.

The discussions about hotel room goes to the business model the provider has chosen & where they actually live.  If attempting to “tour” for whatever reason and visit multiple cities in short periods of time, that has its own set of issues baked in. Seems a risky business model unless the provider has figured out how to screen & book effectively in short periods of time.

just my opinion - a big travel commitment on either end isn’t worth it given the effort required and potential to be disappointed.  I’m always going make the best choice among a set of options that just doesn’t require that much work. I want to reduce my investment of time & travel in every situation where the outcome is unknown. That equation may change with known providers where the outcome is more certain. 

I feel like the entire discussion is unnecessarily complicated.  If i was a provider, I’d choose to locate in an area target rich with potential clients to use my service. These are always going to be big metropolitan areas with people making more money, more disposable income & more gay men/bi men and tourists/executives.  Not complicated. Hint - they’re not in Sioux Falls SD or similar 

 

 

Edited November 22, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I feel like the entire discussion is unnecessarily complicated.  I

💯 spot on! It's just part of the cost of doing business... in that thread  I'm gonna start, about a code of ethics among us and  unwritten rules it will include  hotels and hosting 😂 At the end of your hotel stay ( a provider ) the cost of the ensconcing your self should be a drop in the bucket compared to the profit. If the profit margins aren't big enough 🤔 maybe the provider needs to stick to local outcalls, be able to host in their home or to give the unvarnished truth, find a different method of putting food on his table. 

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

 If I do meet a provider in their hotel room, there should be no guilt trip on me because a provider has chosen to get a hotel room in whatever city for whatever reason.  if they have a hotel room, then my assumption is they’ve done an analysis to make sure it pays off.  But, the room & cost is not my problem or concern - I’m booking an hour or two only.

Absolutely 💯 agree!  

[+ BobPS]

Time for all of us to move on!

[Marc in Calif]

11 minutes ago, BobPS said:

Time for all of us to move on!

When one particular poster can never move on? Fat chance! 😒

[JB_Studio38]

1 hour ago, Marc in Calif said:

When one particular poster can never move on? Fat chance! 😒

 

Meanwhile the conversation is continuing so…don’t pin that on 1 poster, whoever you may be referring to.
 

2 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I’d choose to locate in an area target rich with potential clients to use my service. These are always going to be big metropolitan areas with people making more money, more disposable income & more gay men/bi men and tourists/executives.  Not complicated. Hint - they’re not in Sioux Falls SD or similar 

 

 

Well, those big metro areas with higher income also means: higher cost of living, more competition and higher rates. I’ve been to all the big cities. Everything from Seattle to Miami, San Diego to Boston. They are great, they’re fun and I made good coin in all of them: but when it comes to making a move there: all of those factors are going to play a part. 
 

The bigger cities aren’t always the better deal, I’ve said it before. Some are great to travel to. I love traveling to San Francisco, but I don’t love paying $1,500 a month for a (wait for it) box 📦 lol. It takes money to live in those cities. I’ve often contemplated making a move to certain cities during my travels. But living there versus visiting are very different. It takes money to jump on a place, then you have to figure out how to move your life there. Years ago, I moved to San Antonio for only $199. It was a move in special. I jumped on it immediately, but those bigger cities want more like: $1,999 upfront. And it’s a box in a sketchy area of town, limited parking and not much amenities. 
 

No guarantee that business will be steady in those expensive markets either. I’ve been in DC and San Francisco and been busy one day, dead the next. This is even before I started deposits. I was in San Francisco when Trump got elected and people were running up the steep avenues with 🪧 signs. I had only 1 client the 4 days I was there. Wasn’t asking for deposits either. 

[JB_Studio38]

2 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

💯 spot on! It's just part of the cost of doing business... in that thread  I'm gonna start, about a code of ethics among us and  unwritten rules it will include  hotels and hosting 😂 At the end of your hotel stay ( a provider ) the cost of the ensconcing your self should be a drop in the bucket compared to the profit. If the profit margins aren't big enough 🤔 maybe the provider needs to stick to local outcalls, be able to host in their home or to give the unvarnished truth, find a different method of putting food on his table. 

Well: part of “privilege” is understanding and accepting that, there is a chance that some clients may be more open to inviting a certain type of provider into their home…And less inclined to invite another type of provider, even if that client can host.

Now…I’m not specifically speaking for me because, I’ve gone to all kinds of upscale outcalls. I also know though that, there’s people out there I may never meet at their place because they feel a certain way towards certain types. This CAN vary City to city. Even though you referenced guys who apparently do well in any bum fuck town, that’s still not enough to confirm that me or someone else specifically can do well in a specific area. You only gave anecdotal information. 
 

And I’ve said before in a different topic: I’m getting away from the numbers game model of incalls. I’m not about to be: 4 clients x $300 = $1,200. Because experience has taught that two of those clients likely won’t show. Maybe 1 will…then I have to figure out another way to fill that $900, hopefully before the checkout day of the hotel I’m at. I rather just start asking for more time/funds when I host. That’s why I now started doing 75/90 minutes minimum for incalls. 

Edited November 22, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, BobPS said:

Time for all of us to move on!

Fat chance of that ever happening ! When someone brings up the subject of deposits...it's always a constant stream of chatter from the world's biggest fan of deposits. It never moves on and neither side of this discussion learns anything from the other .

 

[Marc in Calif]

41 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Meanwhile the conversation is continuing so…don’t pin that on 1 poster, whoever you may be referring to.

If you took all the hours you spend posting and responding with thousands of words a day, and you applied them to growing and maintaining a successful business, well --- you wouldn't be such a complainer, would you?

Why not try it for a month? 💡

[pubic_assistance]

6 minutes ago, Marc in Calif said:

Why not try it for a month? 💡

Can't even get two minutes of focus.

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Fat chance of that ever happening ! When someone brings up the subject of deposits...it's always a constant stream of chatter from the world's biggest fan of deposits. It never moves on and neither side of this discussion learns anything from the other .

 

More like a cacophony...... let's "deposit" a fork in this thread and call it done! 

[MikeBiDude]

[+ nycman]

6 hours ago, Marc in Calif said:

When one particular poster can never move on? Fat chance! 😒

[SouthOfTheBorder]

There is no easy road to success in any profession.  It’s all about hard work, dedication, adapting to change, a positive mindset - and being able to overcome challenges without getting stuck in why it can’t happen. 

The simplest way to be successful is to identify the people who are successful and do what they do.  And if those same successful people are offering specific ideas, advise & help on how to do it - even better & an invaluable resource.

In my professional life, I had to coach lots of people on how to do better in a super competitive work environment.  It was a 50/50 chance that the employees could survive, “get it” and eventually thrive in their work.  The ones who failed could not take direction & were always making excuses about why something couldn’t happen or that they had unique circumstances - they got stuck in a negative mindset.

I think being a successful provider is difficult because it requires an extensive sexual repertoire & being very good at all those things to appeal to broad range of client interest.  In addition, they need to excel in the business end (advertising, screening, booking, & analysis) which requires a completely different skill set.  
How many providers can do all those things & do them well ?  
A very few who are the real pros.


 

 

Edited November 22, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[+ JamesB]

We could all try saying that deposits are the best idea ever and maybe, just maybe this post will die. LOL!!

[pubic_assistance]

21 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

You want the hiring world to conform to your business model and to your preferences. That ain’t gonna happen. Never. Years of promotion on these forums has not changed hearts and minds, even those most sympathetic to you. If anything, you’ve alienated many potential clients

[Guest]

Can we please talk about pizza 🍕 now?  I saw the theme going towards pizza in this thread.... Bill's pizza in Palm Springs is excellent so is Grimaldi's limelight in New York City and neither one of them charge your credit card before you order your pizza 🙂 you pay after you've  enjoyed your pizza 🍕 😂😜🤪

[+ Just966]

1 hour ago, Vin_Marco said:

Can we please talk about pizza 🍕 now?  I saw the theme going towards pizza in this thread.... Bill's pizza in Palm Springs is excellent so is Grimaldi's limelight in New York City and neither one of them charge your credit card before you order your pizza 🙂 you pay after you've  enjoyed your pizza 🍕 😂😜🤪

Subtle oh so subtle😊. Not lol

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Just966 said:

Subtle oh so subtle😊. Not lol

But it's the truth and a truth that upsets literally no one 🙂 

[+ Just966]

2 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

But it's the truth and a truth that upsets literally no one 🙂 

We shall see lol

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Just966 said:

We shall see lol

So subtle.... fingers crossed 🤞🏽 😅😂