The terminology used to reference providers

[ICTJOCK]

While I had never heard the name  "provider"  until I came to this site,   there are a list of names that reference our work as a provider.

"Escort",  "whore" and "prostitute" among them.   I've been called a "hooker"  by a friend who was kidding around.     I think in the beginning I was a littlesensitive to it,  but now it all works.   "If you can't handle the heat,  probably shouldn't be in the kitchen"  as they say.   I think the terminology is the least of the concerns.   

I did have a client who liked to refer to "whore" as I spent time with him.  Not sure if it was a point of degradation or he was just enamored with the term.   The experience was fine,  however.    So for the providers  (or for clients for that matter),  do all these names mean the same thing to you and is  "escort"  the name you refer to us more than any other?

[BonVivant]

I prefer “escort” and “courtesan.”  Cause that’s the experience that I want and seek. I want both sides to be treated with respect. 

[ICTJOCK]

I

Quote

I would certainly agree.   I haven't heard the term,  "courtesan"  prior.    Thanks for the input!

 

 

[maninsoma]

I have always used escort or, if I want something more generic, provider.  Some people have embraced using the term "sex worker" but that doesn't roll off the tongue for me.

I wouldn't use whore or prostitute because I think both words have long-standing negative associations, but if a provider wants to embrace either of those terms that's up to them.

[Guest]

It's no shocker that one of the world's oldest professions has a long list of names for.......  😂 For me and my closest provider friend who's now retired in Nevada, self deprecation was and continues to be fun for us 😜

[+ José Soplanucas]

From now on, I am advocating for "geishas."

[Jamie21]

Rent boy gets used here quite widely. I describe myself as sex worker. I think whore or prostitute does have some unfortunate baggage but I don’t mind being called those names. What I have noticed though is that clients don’t like to be referred to as a client! If I’m referring to others then they’re ok with the term but if I’m with a guy and I refer to him as ‘my client’ then he doesn’t like it, so I avoid it now. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

1 minute ago, Jamie21 said:

Rent boy gets used here quite widely. I describe myself as sex worker. I think whore or prostitute does have some unfortunate baggage but I don’t mind being called those names. What I have noticed though is that clients don’t like to be referred to as a client! If I’m referring to others then they’re ok with the term but if I’m with a guy and I refer to him as ‘my client’ then he doesn’t like it, so I avoid it now. 

Perhaps we can try a subthread, as this topic is not disconnected from the OP's, and discuss the terminology used to refer to clients. I have some suggestions.

• personal financial provider
• personal investor
• provided
• friend with financial benefits
• prostituter
• solicitor
• requester
• frequent rider/ride
• whorer
• escorted
• personal corruptor
• supporter
• admirer
• member of my fanfuck club
• partner in whoring
• hookering ally
• time-payer
• adjective+John (favorite John, stinky John, significant John, etc.)
• Venmo/Cashapp/Paypal partner

[+ DrownedBoy]

I prefer "therapist."

There are already shrinks who get paid to hug their patients. Just a logical extrapolation. 

[ICTJOCK]

3 hours ago, maninsoma said:

I have always used escort or, if I want something more generic, provider.  Some people have embraced using the term "sex worker" but that doesn't roll off the tongue for me.

I wouldn't use whore or prostitute because I think both words have long-standing negative associations, but if a provider wants to embrace either of those terms that's up to them.

Very true,  thanks for the input.

[CuriousByNature]

A few suggested alternatives for the term 'provider'...

Gratification Engineer?

Copulation Technician?

Carnal Sherpa?

Fornication Doula?

Screwmonger?

Pleasure Purveyor?

😉

[Bargara Leatherboy]

I used to work for a taxi company (a big one 3000 cabs) and noticed that when brothels (which are legal where I live) when they would ring for a cab the passengers name was alway John ....

I think the work that our professional (and not so professional) men do is very honourable work.

So therapist or something positive is the best way to refer to them.

I think of my providers as - well thats a hard one - but rent boy or rent man - or gentleman of the night - in my own mind - courtesan is a good one - or gigolo works too 

Most terms have negative slurs attached to them as society as a whole thinks of the this profession as something sleazy and bad - whereas it one of the most beautiful things someone can do for someone else 

 

 

 

[ICTJOCK]

7 hours ago, Bargara Leatherboy said:

I used to work for a taxi company (a big one 3000 cabs) and noticed that when brothels (which are legal where I live) when they would ring for a cab the passengers name was alway John ....

I think the work that our professional (and not so professional) men do is very honourable work.

So therapist or something positive is the best way to refer to them.

I think of my providers as - well thats a hard one - but rent boy or rent man - or gentleman of the night - in my own mind - courtesan is a good one - or gigolo works too 

Most terms have negative slurs attached to them as society as a whole thinks of the this profession as something sleazy and bad - whereas it one of the most beautiful things someone can do for someone else 

 

 

 

A  "gentleman of the night".... interesting indeed!

[+ Charlie]

For those of us old enough to remember the ads in the pink pages of The Advocate, the category used for those ads at one time was "Models." When I lived in England a half century ago, the commonly used term there was "rentboy." "Hustler" now seems to be used only for the amateurs who work the streets.

[MikeBiDude]

18 minutes ago, Charlie said:

For those of us old enough to remember the ads in the pink pages of The Advocate, the category used for those ads at one time was "Models." When I lived in England a half century ago, the commonly used term there was "rentboy." "Hustler" now seems to be used only for the amateurs who work the streets.

Old enough😉 and Frontiers.

[BonVivant]

I like “models” too. Very elegant and respectful. 

[Simon Suraci]

The US government knows me as a “model”. I pay taxes through my LLC as a “model”. I don’t hate the term “sex worker” because that describes exactly what the job is without the unnecessary negativity surrounding the term.

Keep in mind especially for masseurs, sex work may not be any part of what they do, or maybe only a small part. Most of my work is massage. It seems unfair to me that terms like “sex worker” and all the other less savory ones define their jobs —unless— they are simply advertising as a “masseur” without actually offering legitimate massage services and it’s then simply sex acts for money but calling it something else.

I suppose you could call me any of the aforementioned names and I can handle the derogatory terms, although internally I wouldn’t be thrilled with being called “whore”, “hooker”, and related names because:

1) baggage around those terms

2) it reflects poorly on the client making him seem more like a close-minded jerk in my eyes

3) more often than not these terms are used as a put-down, and that weighs on us, even subconsciously

4) professionalism is what you want from your provider/sex worker. If you use terms that minimize them or put them down, you’re basically encouraging them to exhibit less professional behavior.

5) we want and expect to be taken seriously. Using the right terms shows us that you are treating us with respect

6) these old crass terms are tired and less creative

7) the terms are too gendered. Men do this work too. Historically the general terms refer almost exclusively to women, although that has changed a lot over the past century or so, and continues to evolve. See my other rants on “masseuse” vs “masseur”. Oy vey

One big exception of course is when a client wants some kind of dirty talk experience either giving and/or receiving. This is best discussed before starting a session, and it’s best to use neutral, non-derogatory terms when referring to a provider outside the context of a session.

[+ Ace]

Online entrepeneur,

Intimacy consultant.

 

[edinbrooklyn]

On 9/5/2023 at 12:14 PM, ICTJOCK said:

While I had never heard the name  "provider"  until I came to this site,   there are a list of names that reference our work as a provider.

"Escort",  "whore" and "prostitute" among them.   I've been called a "hooker"  by a friend who was kidding around.     I think in the beginning I was a littlesensitive to it,  but now it all works.   "If you can't handle the heat,  probably shouldn't be in the kitchen"  as they say.   I think the terminology is the least of the concerns.   

I did have a client who liked to refer to "whore" as I spent time with him.  Not sure if it was a point of degradation or he was just enamored with the term.   The experience was fine,  however.    So for the providers  (or for clients for that matter),  do all these names mean the same thing to you and is  "escort"  the name you refer to us more than any other?

Human? I “whore” myself for a big company.

[ICTJOCK]

Good enough!

[+ azdr0710]

A friend once said we're all prostitutes if we work for somebody else. 

The word "escort" has become pretty generic in mainstream use, but I don't like that word because it really smacks of a wink-wink term coined decades ago to disguise the fact your date is a hooker. "Provider ", though very bland, is comfortably discreet and has no nudge-nudge hint of hiding what may be going on. More respectful-sounding, too. 

[Marc in Calif]

On 9/5/2023 at 2:23 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I prefer "therapist."

There are already shrinks who get paid to hug their patients. Just a logical extrapolation. 

The professional manscaper I visit every couple of months now refers to himself as a hair therapist. It's therapy for us, and it's also therapy for him. 

[+ BobPS]

Life Enhancement Facilitator 

[Jamie21]

I’ve a friend who is also in the industry, he describes himself as a ‘sex engineer’. It’s descriptive of the work: working with clients body and mind to improve their sex life. However it feels a bit mechanical for me. 

As a masseur I consider the work to be as much on the client’s mind as it is on their body. A therapeutic masseur is just working the muscles but a sensual or erotic masseur is working the body and working on what’s going on in the client’s head. Therefore sex therapist sounds good. I genuinely think that the work should be valued more by society. Terms like whore and prostitute have been imbued with too much negative baggage for them to be used in a benign way unfortunately. 
 

[solacesoul]

Working guys.