Is this a community?

[+ Coolwave35]

I read this and disagreed which is unusual because I tend to agree with most of Jose’s posts. I feel like it may be an interesting discussion. 

what do you think? 

4 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

Some less experienced posters do not understand that this is not a community but a public forum.

[+ keroscenefire]

Interesting question. I would agree with Jose generally that I don't think an internet forum is a community per se. Definitely not like a random Reddit. 

But since many of us have met IRL and have a shared experience among these men we hire, I think that is a bit different. 

Let's go to Merriam-Webster: "A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals."

I think one thing the M4M transition taught us is that we really do value this space. I certainly feel a sense of fellowship with many of you on here and I think certainly we have a common interest and goal to have a successful forum where we can openly talk about this shared hobby. That sounds like a community to me. Though I agree that it probably isn't for all of us on here. I almost think the opposite of Jose. It's more of a community for us experienced posters and less so for someone just on here maybe for a quick question and that's it.

Edited June 26, 2023 by keroscenefire

[+ José Soplanucas]

You are doing the trick here, probably driven by your emotional attachment to the forum. Or we all are a community, or we all are not. You cannot trace a line, leave out the homophobes and those who look down on sex workers, and then say we are a community.

Indeed, I do feel a sense of community with many friends here (you two would be in), but that feeling does not make the entire forum a community.

[pubic_assistance]

I'm going to guess that @José Soplanucasdefines a "community" as a bunch of people who  tend to always agree with one another, where C.o.M.org is indeed an open forum where people do disagree about numerous issues. Personally, I think a community CAN have a common bond while still disagreeing about the various matters within their common interest. After all if everyone just posted happy agreement with everything that everyone said, it wouldn't be much of a learning experience.

 

[+ José Soplanucas]

11 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I'm going to guess that @José Soplanucasdefines a "community" as a bunch of people who  tend to always agree with one another, where C.o.M.org is indeed an open forum where people do disagree about numerous issues. Personally, I think a community CAN have a common bond while still disagreeing about the various matters within their common interest. After all if everyone just posted happy agreement with everything that everyone said, it wouldn't be much of a learning experience.

 

As usual, you are guessing wrong. Surprise: I would count you inside the "community" despite our strong disagreements.

I will not mention who I count out because part of our (not only you and me but we all) disagreements may perfectly be who is in and who is out.

But the problem remains: how do you include inside the community the many lurkers who we do not know and often show up with attitudes towards sex workers that are absolutely unacceptable?

[SirBillybob]

Male Scouts of America in the Everything Everywhere All At Once Metaverse, with merit badges et al, if you accept all the cookie boxes, and some scouts strangling each other non-autoasphyxiated one minute, braiding each others ear hair by a camp fire the next. 😏

Edited June 26, 2023 by SirBillybob

[+ keroscenefire]

2 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

 Or we all are a community, or we all are not. You cannot trace a line, leave out the homophobes and those who look down on sex workers, and then say we are a community.

So the other definition of community is "A group of people living in the same place."

Thinking of my own community, I know my neighbor loves Jordan Peterson and is sort of a douchey bro guy. He's also nice and has helped me out when I've needed him and I've done the same for him.  I still called him out on Peterson, saying that as a gay man, I cannot accept Peterson's rampant homophobia and transphobia. He acknowledged though I am sure he still likes Peterson. 

My neighbor is still part of my community despite my disagreement with his views. Going on NextDoor, I'd say quite a few of my neighbors have some views and opinions I disagree with. They're still a part of my community. I can try to debate and educate my neighbor, but they're still part of my physical community. 

A community is never going to be perfectly aligned

[+ José Soplanucas]

2 minutes ago, keroscenefire said:

A community is never going to be perfectly aligned

Indeed. And we can disagree on this. For me, sharing space is not enough to be part of a community. An essential requirement is knowing each other, which cannot happen here.

I never thought about this, so I appreciate the discussion. @pubic_assistance is correct. My initial definition was too intolerant. 

[pubic_assistance]

34 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

As usual, you are guessing wrong

Well...I tried.

yes....you're an outlier to my own life and philosophical view points...so no surprise you'd be coming from a different tangent.

I think this penchant of progressive social thinkers to KEEP OUT opinions they don't like creates a dangerous echo chamber. So I don't think silencing people is ever productive.

 

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I'm going to guess that @José Soplanucasdefines a "community" as a bunch of people who  tend to always agree with one another, where C.o.M.org is indeed an open forum where people do disagree about numerous issues. Personally, I think a community CAN have a common bond while still disagreeing about the various matters within their common interest. After all if everyone just posted happy agreement with everything that everyone said, it wouldn't be much of a learning experience.

 

Are you saying that because @José Soplanucas is one of "the gays".

[marylander1940]

7 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Well...I tried.

yes....you're an outlier to my own life and philosophical view points...so no surprise you'd be coming from a different tangent.

I think this penchant of progressive social thinkers to KEEP OUT opinions they don't like creates a dangerous echo chamber. So I don't think silencing people is ever productive.

 

If it wasn't for many of the programs implemented to lift people into the middle class where would you be?

 

[+ José Soplanucas]

8 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Well...I tried.

yes....you're an outlier to my own life and philosophical view points...so no surprise you'd be coming from a different tangent.

I think this penchant of progressive social thinkers to KEEP OUT opinions they don't like creates a dangerous echo chamber. So I don't think silencing people is ever productive.

 

Sir, I have never been for silencing people. Consistently, I have encouraged everyone to speak up. Which does not mean I will not call them out. I firmly believe the best thing we can do with the crazies is to let them talk.

But this thread is not about you and me. 

Despite my horrible memory, I still remember my Sociology 101 lessons. Durkheim was one of the first social thinkers to systematically reflect on the differences between close communities and broad society. Knowing each other was at the core of his definition of a community. Following that lead, I dare say this forum is not a community. 

Of course, I may be wrong. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

4 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Are you saying that because @José Soplanucas is one of "the gays".

 

3 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

If it wasn't for many of the programs implemented to lift people into the middle class where would you be?

 

Can we keep this conversation on track?

[marylander1940]

Just now, José Soplanucas said:

 

Can we keep this conversation on track?

the first post WAS on track!

[pubic_assistance]

14 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Are you saying that because @José Soplanucas is one of "the gays".

Well.. I don't think ALL gays fall for the manipulation of social progressivism but there might be a degree of truth in that.

I think it's about the philosophical viewpoint differences that many gays do subscribe to.

[pubic_assistance]

16 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

If it wasn't for many of the programs implemented to lift people into the middle class where would you be?

The programs implemented to lift people into the middle class were from the 50's and 60's.

In the 2020's the middle class is collapsing faster than it was built.

Edited June 26, 2023 by pubic_assistance

[SouthOfTheBorder]

community is word that seems to have evolved in last several years.  it has always meant subsets of people with shared interests.  in contemporary use, it seems to imply that the group has positive common goals/interests although it doesn’t mean 100% alignment.

this group has some members that get off on divisive topics which is usually politics or adjacent subject matter. So, they’re seeking to disrupt & cause friction - not exactly community.  and community probably doesn’t include members who use aliases to appear as several different people.  
given this is an anonymous forum & the specific subject matter - it shouldn’t be any surprise there are dozens of users with personal agendas that have nothing to do with positive common shared interests. 

anonymous online forum - yes 

community - no 

[Rudynate]

I don't think it is a community, mostly for technical reasons.  Im sure there is a sociology textbook out there that contains a definition of "community," but I don't know what it is.  My idea of a community is that is an ad hoc assortment of people who have something in common - they live in the same neighborhood, they have a common interest, etc. I also think that an essential feature of a community is that community members identify with the community.   

I don't think this forum is a community because it lacks the ad hoc feature that I think communities have.  The group has an announced purpose.   People join this group by opening an account and establishing login credentials.  They are provided with an orientation to the group's purpose and standards of conduct.  The group has moderators that are tasked with enforcing the standards of conduct.  Group members can be disciplined or even banished for failing to conform to the group standards.  This is more like a club than a community, even though it may resemble a community on the surface. 

[pubic_assistance]

13 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

members who use aliases to appear as several different people

Is that a thing here ? I had no idea.

I know some people have left and returned under a new screen name...but are people here using multiple screen names ?

[+ Coolwave35]

1 hour ago, José Soplanucas said:

An essential requirement is knowing each other, which cannot happen here.

I have at least one meal with 13 members here. I stay in regular text communication with 6. We discuss more than escorts though it does seem to dominate the texts lol. 
 

I feel like I know them. 

[+ Coolwave35]

37 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

and community probably doesn’t include members who use aliases to appear as several different people.  

@RadioRob is this a thing here?  Are you able to tell the multiple persona posters by IP address?  Another forum I belong to has that capability. Is this a common thing here worth you spotlighting to make us aware of such treachery? 

[+ José Soplanucas]

5 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

I have at least one meal with 13 members here. I stay in regular text communication with 6. We discuss more than escorts though it does seem to dominate the texts lol. 
 

I feel like I know them. 

I have probably met more members than that and shared more than a meal, like a couple of trips abroad. But that is a tiny part of the forum membership. 

 

[+ Charlie]

I consider this conversation site a club, which all of the members have voluntarily joined and introduced themselves to others through their posts. They are also free to leave the club, and the management is able to discipline or eject those who it believes have demonstrated in some way that they do not have the good of the club in mind. Of course, the existing members of a club can usually block the entrance of a new member, while the only requirement for entrance to this club is an expressed interest in some subject that is discussed by the members. Most of the members come from larger communities of interests, and join to discuss one or many of those interests. There are also communities of identities (e.g., gay men), which are helpful in gaining legitimacy for membership, but admission to the club is not not automatically guaranteed or restricted because of real or expressed identity.

[Rudynate]

1 minute ago, Charlie said:

I consider this conversation site a club, which all of the members have voluntarily joined and introduced themselves to others through their posts. They are also free to leave the club, and the management is able to discipline or eject those who it believes have demonstrated in some way that they do not have the good of the club in mind. Of course, the existing members of a club can usually block the entrance of a new member, while the only requirement for entrance to this club is an expressed interest in some subject that is discussed by the members. Most of the members come from larger communities of interests, and join to discuss one or many of those interests. There are also communities of identities (e.g., gay men), which are helpful in gaining legitimacy for membership, but admission to the club is not not automatically guaranteed or restricted because of real or expressed identity.

Bingo!!  This. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

2 minutes ago, Charlie said:

all of the members have voluntarily joined

Yes

2 minutes ago, Charlie said:

and introduced themselves to others through their posts.

I do not think so. I bet you many members have never posted.