Masseurs: what do you consider the difference between massages?

[acks0104]

What do you consider the difference between a "sensual" vs an "erotic" massage? I often see a number of masseurs list therapeutic and sensual massages, but not erotic. Obviously the answer will be different for everyone, but I would be interested in hearing your personal take. 

[Pd1_jap]

Bump

[Jamie21]

Erotic massage begins with E, whereas a Sensual massage begins with S. 

That’s the main difference…

[56harrisond]

 

[56harrisond]

 

[maninsoma]

As you can see from the replies above, this question gets asked a lot.  The best answer that is that there is no actual definition, so always keep that in mind when looking at someone's ad.  One man's sensual may be another's erotic and vice-versa.  And some guys might list under both categories but not really provide much beyond a therapeutic massage.  So if you are looking for a specific kind of experience, it's best to discuss that in advance with the person running the ad.

Since you are soliciting individual opinions, however, here's how I would differentiate sensual versus erotic: Erotic definitely includes a release at the end.  It probably includes mutual touch, but not necessarily -- particularly not the level that some people want from an erotic massage.  Then again I have had a few masseurs initiate sex with me without me asking, so it really is the truth that it's impossible to know in advance what any particular provider will offer.  I would not expect any sort of penetrative sex but that's certainly happened a number of times for me and, in fact, some of those guys became regulars in part because of the extras they offered me.  In my view, a sensual massage just means light touching or a basic body rub by someone who might not be trained to provide a truly therapeutic massage.  I know that some guys list therapeutic and sensual and, in fact, offer "erotic" massages and more to some clients so, again, this is where the "there is no definition" comes into play.

[jeezifonly]

In many cases, the difference is about $100…

[+ KensingtonHomo]

16 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Since you are soliciting individual opinions, however, here's how I would differentiate sensual versus erotic: Erotic definitely includes a release at the end.  It probably includes mutual touch, but not necessarily -- particularly not the level that some people want from an erotic massage.  Then again I have had a few masseurs initiate sex with me without me asking, so it really is the truth that it's impossible to know in advance what any particular provider will offer.

In keeping with @maninsoma I think the best way to approach this is to be direct. You can ask "what does your erotic massage include?" Or if they offer both "would you tell me the difference between your sensual and erotic massage?" 

When I am with a new provider, I will ask "what are your boundaries?" And then describe mine. 

[dbar123]

From a client point of view I think of a sensual massage as being more like a therapeutic massage but with mutual touching and more 2 way interaction. An erotic massage is a sensual massage performed on a bed rather than a table

[Simon Suraci]

There is no universal answer. It varies with every masseur.

I recommend asking for exactly what you want and see what the masseur says.

General inquiries like “what does your massage include?” puts the burden on the masseur to name everything under the sun -sexual or otherwise- that he will or will not include. It’s exhausting answering this question over and over and over. The client knows full well what they want. They just aren’t willing to ask for it and it wastes our time to respond to such general questions.

Here are a few examples of more specific questions to ask:

“Do you include a happy ending?”

”Do you allow mutual touch?”

”Do you offer body to body massage?”

FYI happy ending means a hand job only unless you specifically discuss other details. He may not offer more, and if he does, be clear on any uncharges for the extra service. Some may charge their full escort rate depending on your needs and expectations. All good things to know before booking.

[GTMike]

On 5/20/2023 at 9:53 AM, Simon Suraci said:

There is no universal answer. It varies with every masseur.

I recommend asking for exactly what you want and see what the masseur says.

General inquiries like “what does your massage include?” puts the burden on the masseur to name everything under the sun -sexual or otherwise- that he will or will not include. It’s exhausting answering this question over and over and over. The client knows full well what they want. They just aren’t willing to ask for it and it wastes our time to respond to such general questions.

Here are a few examples of more specific questions to ask:

“Do you include a happy ending?”

”Do you allow mutual touch?”

”Do you offer body to body massage?”

FYI happy ending means a hand job only unless you specifically discuss other details. He may not offer more, and if he does, be clear on any uncharges for the extra service. Some may charge their full escort rate depending on your needs and expectations. All good things to know before booking.

Thanks helpful info from client's perspective. I'm trying to figure out if I might hire a masseur. He lists therapeutic, sensual and erotic. Has said offers using most of his body as a part of his general technique and quoted escort pricing initially from just inquiring about rates (which are not publicly listed).

I don't want to appear to waste his time with further questions i'd like to better understand or offend with getting too detailed with more probing questions as we haven't met yet. If I saw the person also had an escort profile I wouldn't be shy to ask further and don't want to explicity say since you quoted escort prices should i assume that's basically your service? 

[Jamie21]

4 minutes ago, GTMike said:

Thanks helpful info from client's perspective. I'm trying to figure out if I might hire a masseur. He lists therapeutic, sensual and erotic. Has said offers using most of his body as a part of his general technique and quoted escort pricing initially from just inquiring about rates (which are not publicly listed).

I don't want to appear to waste his time with further questions i'd like to better understand or offend with getting too detailed with more probing questions as we haven't met yet. If I saw the person also had an escort profile I wouldn't be shy to ask further and don't want to explicity say since you quoted escort prices should i assume that's basically your service? 

You can’t offend him by asking what activities are included in his massage. If there’s legal reasons why he might be careful to explain what’s included then that might explain why he’s quoted escort prices and said he uses ‘most of his body’. So keep that in mind. But you can’t offend so don’t worry about that. 

[Simon Suraci]

I agree with @Jamie21. If he lists erotic and uses language like “most of my body”, or quotes escort rates, he should be prepared to answer specific questions about erotic services. You are not the first one to ask, so he should have plenty of experience navigating his responses.

Guys stating very clearly in their ads “therapeutic only” and have rates under $180/hr are signaling to you they are offering regular massage services. Anything “extra” is either not offered or perhaps varies from client to client. This kind of guy may say to you that he doesn’t offer erotic services. In that case, move on to the one who matches your needs/desires or be ok with a therapeutic only session.

His rates are also a clue. Over $200/hr indicates he is most likely offering more than massage. It’s perfectly fair to assume with this type of ad that he can answer yes/no questions about erotic services. If he prefers to not put his answers in writing, you can request a phone call to discuss. Most will text.

[GTMike]

53 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

You can’t offend him by asking what activities are included in his massage. If there’s legal reasons why he might be careful to explain what’s included then that might explain why he’s quoted escort prices and said he uses ‘most of his body’. So keep that in mind. But you can’t offend so don’t worry about that. 

Thank you for perspective.

And yes I am very conscientious about putting gents (and myself), into potentially awkward technical legal territory and don't want anything misconstrued. So I think i tend to come off vague or not as serious to others who are more used to the dialogue.

[GTMike]

24 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

I agree with @Jamie21. If he lists erotic and uses language like “most of my body”, or quotes escort rates, he should be prepared to answer specific questions about erotic services. You are not the first one to ask, so he should have plenty of experience navigating his responses.

Guys stating very clearly in their ads “therapeutic only” and have rates under $180/hr are signaling to you they are offering regular massage services. Anything “extra” is either not offered or perhaps varies from client to client. This kind of guy may say to you that he doesn’t offer erotic services. In that case, move on to the one who matches your needs/desires or be ok with a therapeutic only session.

His rates are also a clue. Over $200/hr indicates he is most likely offering more than massage. It’s perfectly fair to assume with this type of ad that he can answer yes/no questions about erotic services. If he prefers to not put his answers in writing, you can request a phone call to discuss. Most will text.

Yes thanks.

I think all "signs" point to erotic services and yeah I agree prolly will ultimately vary from client to client (unless just an intentional scammer to begin with).

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 5/18/2023 at 9:13 AM, maninsoma said:

Erotic definitely includes a release at the end. 

Not necessarily.  I had a great masseur years ago that I saw several time and gave a really good deep massage  He advertised therapeutic, sensual, and erotic massage.  When I asked for erotic massage, he massaged thighs and glutes and really close to private areas, but no happy ending.  When I eventually flat out asked him for more on a later visit, he said "erotic" does not mean happy ending.

[marylander1940]

On 5/18/2023 at 5:51 PM, jeezifonly said:

In many cases, the difference is about $100…

Unless the client is hot and gets the extras for free? 

[maninsoma]

2 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Not necessarily.  I had a great masseur years ago that I saw several time and gave a really good deep massage  He advertised therapeutic, sensual, and erotic massage.  When I asked for erotic massage, he massaged thighs and glutes and really close to private areas, but no happy ending.  When I eventually flat out asked him for more on a later visit, he said "erotic" does not mean happy ending.

And if you re-read my post, you will see that the part you quoted is from the paragraph where I was stating what my definition is.  I clearly stated in the previous paragraph that there really isn't an agreed upon definition so it's pointless to make assumptions about what a provider's service will entail unless you communicate directly with him.

[Jamie21]

10 hours ago, GTMike said:

Thank you for perspective.

And yes I am very conscientious about putting gents (and myself), into potentially awkward technical legal territory and don't want anything misconstrued. So I think i tend to come off vague or not as serious to others who are more used to the dialogue.

Hire in the UK! No difficulties here about asking for sexual services. His phrase “Most of my body” can be replaced by “my cock is used in the massage” here so that no one; client, masseur or police officer (who in some instances is the client) shall be in any doubt about it being that kind of massage. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I do have a question for masseurs in general.

It sounds like you don't want to be contacted for intercourse. What about things such as kissing and fetishes? (thinking of BDSM in the latter category, which masseurs have good skills for, IMHO).

[Jamie21]

3 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I do have a question for masseurs in general.

It sounds like you don't want to be contacted for intercourse. What about things such as kissing and fetishes? (thinking of BDSM in the latter category, which masseurs have good skills for, IMHO).

I don’t mind clients asking for intercourse and I wouldn’t say it never happens (as in sometimes someone gets fucked) but for me there’s two issues with that. The first is most masseurs aren’t charging rates that are high enough to include intercourse and the second is that some clients only want intercourse. If you want a sex session book an escort. A masseur will focus the session on massage.

As for including kissing and fetishes I would say it varies by masseur. I like to include kissing because I think it’s a natural part of a sensual massage but only if my client wants it. For some it’s just too intimate. Fetishes are also fine; I’ve had clients who like a bit of role play, being restrained, use of toys (dildos etc), having their ass smacked or their balls squeezed etc. All of these can be incorporated into massage. The key is that they are all set around a massage and not just a sex or bdsm session in isolation. 

[Scott Summers]

It does vary based on each of. Personally, I think it’s okay to say something like “what is your definition of sensual and erotic?”. For the most part is fairly obvious what clients are looking for. If I can tell they don’t know the difference, I just say, “Definitions vary and everyone has different  expectations. What are your expectations? Here are my definitions: 

Sensual- focus on you and your experiencing of the five senses through massage. The attention is all on you from beginning to end.

Dress code is you naked, and me in something of your choosing.  

Erotic- both nude, mutual touching permitted 

The main focus of an erotic massage is the massage. It’s all about the importance, excitement, and intensity of human touch. We’re both nude for the massage, and mutual touching is permitted  (of course respecting the comfort levels of one another).

*Penetration is not traditionally a part of this massage style. Though it does happen on occasion. Those occasions are always based on timing, comfortability, mutual consent, discretion and trust

[JSchorr]

I have always had good luck with just being upfront, in respectful terms, with what you are looking for. I ignore only therapeutic ads altogether. My init8al contact is jus5 to say hello and maybe find out where the session would take place, etc.  Then I state what I would be interested in or not interested in and if that’s OK with them. Seems to work for me.