Payment

[roundel]

I'm a cash guy, pay in cash and tip in cash.  Today I had a provider refuse cash at tie of service and demand payment via PayPal in advance.  I was to take a screenshot of the payment as my receipt, and do this through the "family and friend" option on PayPal which would invalidate any claim against the transaction in the future.  I followed my instinct and walked away.  Any insight if this was a scam or if I should be good with a PayPal transaction in advance of service?

[Jamie21]

Never pay full charge in advance of the service if you don’t know the guy. I think you did the right thing. 

[TorontoDrew]

You definitely made the right decision.   I have never paid in advance.  I might pay a deposit on a regular but that's my limit.

[NJF]

I had a similar situation a while ago, and I walked away. Refusing cash is a good indicator of bad intentions.

[PrinceRN]

Good call.  I don’t pay for anything in advance unless I know I could get that money back.

[Stan14]

When you meet a new provider, which moment you should pay? right away in full, or after all the activity is completed?

[Colton]

44 minutes ago, Stan14 said:

When you meet a new provider, which moment you should pay? right away in full, or after all the activity is completed?

I’m sure practices vary but paying first reinforces the “I’m paying for time and whatever happens, happens.”  

[EastbayMike]

I always pay after. Doesn't matter if I'm seeing an escort for the first time or the fifth. 

 

If the escort wants payment up front  I don't book.  However I recognize everyone has their own comfort level. 

[GTMike]

On 11/8/2022 at 12:59 PM, roundel said:

I'm a cash guy, pay in cash and tip in cash.  Today I had a provider refuse cash at tie of service and demand payment via PayPal in advance.  I was to take a screenshot of the payment as my receipt, and do this through the "family and friend" option on PayPal which would invalidate any claim against the transaction in the future.  I followed my instinct and walked away.  Any insight if this was a scam or if I should be good with a PayPal transaction in advance of service?

First time i read this i thougt you meant you were literally with the provider and had cash and he refused and said use PayPal.

I assume now when you say "walked away" you didn't mean that literally hahaha.

If i get it now good instinct. If you were there and he saw cash and refused MAYBE could give leeway as it related to having sources of cash in his bank account and was triggering a tax thing and he wanted proof it wasn't business income. 

But if it was just prior to a meeting and you'd never met, good call in my opinion.

[GTMike]

10 minutes ago, GTMike said:

First time i read this i thougt you meant you were literally with the provider and had cash and he refused and said use PayPal.

I assume now when you say "walked away" you didn't mean that literally hahaha.

If i get it now good instinct. If you were there and he saw cash and refused MAYBE could give leeway as it related to having sources of cash in his bank account and was triggering a tax thing and he wanted proof it wasn't business income. 

But if it was just prior to a meeting and you'd never met, good call in my opinion.

Oh and apologies for comment. My bad this was ask a Provider section and I was giving perspective as a client. 

[jtwalker]

On 11/8/2022 at 4:10 PM, Jamie21 said:

Never pay full charge in advance of the service if you don’t know the guy. I think you did the right thing. 

Every time I have paid up front, I have regretted it.

[Rod Hagen]

1 hour ago, arnemgreeves said:

Best practice amongst escorts is payment up front. Too many times they get the “ I forgot” or “ let me go to my car to get my wallet” excuse my 

Disagree.  I've been escorting for (this coming March) 24 years.  Never have I asked for nor expected money up front.  I've had a problem only 2 or 3 times.

Edited November 11, 2022 by Rod Hagen

[Jamie21]

2 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

Best practice amongst escorts is payment up front. Too many times they get the “ I forgot” or “ let me go to my car to get my wallet” excuse my 

It’s very very rare. If you work in the bottom end of the market maybe that happens but in my experience of seeing hundreds of clients only once has someone pulled that trick, and I walked with him to the cash point and made sure I got paid. 
I’m very comfortable with payment afterwards. And the excuse of ‘I’ve no cash’ isn’t a problem because I accept cards. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 11/11/2022 at 10:40 AM, Rod Hagen said:

Disagree.  I've been escorting for (this coming March) 24 years.  Never have I asked for nor expected money up front.  I've had a problem only 2 or 3 times.

That’s understandable, but your preference shouldn’t define another’s truth. 
 

I’ve been in it for about half as long, but probably have just as much experiences. I’ve told a handful of situations here alone: The most recent where the guy has a wad of money equaling $27 when I was trying to settle upfront. In which he said he’d brb and never did. Which story would you prefer to hear? 
 

There was also a former forum member years ago, who said he’d just done an overnight and when he got to the airport to go home, he opened the envelope to a bunch of single…dollar bills. 
 

Anything could happen. It doesn’t have to be a lot, only once. You may get lucky and not have to deal with that issue. I know I’ve done both with varying results. But I prefer to go with the one I feel most comfortable with. 
 

Granted: I will say, the PayPal situation in the above post does sound a bit suspect. At the very least, forward. But, from experience I understand some like to push chargebacks, and you have to fight like hell to get it back. Even when it isn’t chargebacks, PayPal randomly freezes up transactions for no known reason. 

[Jamie21]

2 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

PayPal randomly freezes up transactions for no known reason. 

I hate PayPal. I used to accept it and will do so in extremis but I generally avoid it. I leave a zero balance in my account. I used to have a PayPal card reader, to take credit cards. The money would be credited to my PayPal account. The card reader was rubbish and would regularly freeze mid transaction.

One time a client got debited twice because the card reader didn’t seem to accept the first transaction. However I only received the first transaction as a credit (less their exorbitant fees). My client complained to me he’s been charged twice, so I tried to speak to PayPal but it was impossible to get to a human. So I asked my client to raise it with his credit card company but they passed the buck to PayPal. Eventually I refunded my client so he wasn’t out of pocket ( he’s a regular) but that put me out of pocket. Eventually it got resolved but only after lots of calls to PayPal. 

After that I changed my card processing company. I also heard PayPal will freeze your account if they think you’re doing sex work, so that was another reason to dump them. The new card reader is fantastic, and cheaper. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Question - how common is Zelle usage among you gentlemen? And do you consider it as secure?

(from what I've read, it is the most secure, and my preferred app for regular fees)

[DMICS]

On 11/8/2022 at 3:59 PM, roundel said:

I'm a cash guy, pay in cash and tip in cash.  Today I had a provider refuse cash at tie of service and demand payment via PayPal in advance.  I was to take a screenshot of the payment as my receipt, and do this through the "family and friend" option on PayPal which would invalidate any claim against the transaction in the future.  I followed my instinct and walked away.  Any insight if this was a scam or if I should be good with a PayPal transaction in advance of service?

You did the right thing. 

I never pay in advance. It's always at the end of the session. And the rare occasion I may pay half at the start of the session and the rest after. In my personal encounters, providers that ask for upfront payment were guys I wasn't 100% confident I would get what I hired for. 

I'd also never use PayPal, cash only. Too easy for scammers to get away with stuff, especially with the "family and friend" option, which is hard to get your money back because you can't file a dispute. Only chance to maybe get your money back is filing a chargeback via your CC if you used that for your "family and friend" payment. 

[Rod Hagen]

On 11/12/2022 at 12:00 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

That’s understandable, but your preference shouldn’t define another’s truth. 

It's not preference, it's nearly a quarter-century experience. 

Additionally, and not your fault, I can't begin to express how deaf people my age are to anything preceding or proceeding "another's truth".

If a provider feels uncomfortable waiting for payment until the end of the session, that may impact the session, so on the timing-of-payment front, providers should do what makes them comfortable.  That will help the session go better.

Edited November 14, 2022 by Rod Hagen

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, Rod Hagen said:

It's not preference, it's nearly a quarter-century experience. 

Additionally, and not your fault, I can't begin to express how deaf people my age are to anything preceding or proceeding "another's truth".

If a provider feels uncomfortable waiting for payment until the end of the session, that may impact the session, so on the timing-of-payment front, providers should do what makes them comfortable.  That will help the session go better.

Likewise, experienced as well. 

That said, I’m not opposed to payment after the session. However when you say never but then mention “only having a problem 2 or 3 times”: I think a little clarity is needed. 

Surely you’ve had clients walk in and pay upfront without waiting until after the session? So…though it’s not a mandatory requirement, it’s still a preference.

Having a problem 2 or 3 times in 25 years may seem small, but what level was the problem? 2 or 3 times could be a dozen times for someone who travels often, and is a bit lenient on screening and deposits. 

[Jamie21]

Anxious or inexperienced clients, without me prompting or asking, tend to pay before the session. I am handed an envelope or it is put on the side with an embarrassed “that’s for you” mumbled as they avoid eye contact. 

Some clients forget during the post session chat whilst they get dressed…and are almost at the door when I have to ask “how would you like to pay?”.

Others just hand cash or card over at the end once they’re dressed. It’s all very perfunctory. 

On one occasion a client had his card declined, so he tried a second card. That also didn’t work. I think he just forgot the pin because of anxiety about the whole situation. He’d been quite anxious at the start and was one of those guys who once he’s cum he kind of ‘just has to get out of here’. Like a big guilt trip comes over them.

During the session he’d eventually relaxed sufficiently on the table to become aroused and I was working his cock to bring him to climax. Trying to time it so he’d shoot 5 minutes before times up so he can chill a bit on the table afterwards. He liked his ass played with so I tried a finger at the entrance (lubed up of course). No resistance from him, indeed he pushed on it…so in it went. This seemed to do the trick and he got closer. My finger hit his prostate and he was now very close but the anxiety seemed to be still holding him back a little, so I slid a second finger in and started to alternate pressure on his prostate… which did the trick and he shot his load. However as soon as the last spurt came out of his cock he sat up on the table and asked to use the shower. I said “relax, how about a head massage to bring you back down?” as I cleaned up his cum but he’d already swung his legs over the side of the table and was ready to stand up. I managed to stop him for a few seconds while I wiped him clean. I really don’t want someone getting a head rush from standing so soon, but his mind was made up to ‘get out of here!’

Anyway after a rapid shower and dressing he’s now standing there next to a still naked me (which probably added to the anxiety) fumbling over his PIN number and trying various cards in my card reader. To lighten the mood I said “stick another one in, it worked for me” but I don’t think he got the joke. Fortunately one of the cards worked and he managed to get away. 

[Jamie21]

58 minutes ago, arnemgreeves said:

Doesn’t it get risky if guys just run out?

They leave their shoes outside the door. They put shoes on as they leave, after having paid. I mean…it’s highly unlikely they’ll run away, I don’t work in that part of the market but if they did try to they’re not going to get far without their shoes are they? 🙂

[Luv2play]

On 11/11/2022 at 10:11 AM, arnemgreeves said:

Best practice amongst escorts is payment up front. Too many times they get the “ I forgot” or “ let me go to my car to get my wallet” excuse my 

I don't think that's true. It happens but most experienced providers knowhow to screen potential clients.

[Luv2play]

3 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

I guess it's just different experiences then. I mainly use standard rentmen/sleepboy escorts who charge standard rates (standard in my country is £100-250 an hour). And the norm is payment upfront, for the reasons I've stated. A few people i've seen have asked for payment at the end, but that's rare. I guess also individual providers may differ in how they want payment, and the safeguards they take if clients abscond. 

Interesting info on standard rates in your country, which I assume is Britain since you quote pounds. That is quite a wide range for standard providers.

In Canada the standard rates these days in the large centres seem to be beteeen $250 to $350. It often depends on incalls and outcalls where the difference is usually $50. Some may charge less or more but are not quoting those rates on Rentmen. 

Unlike the US, escorts in Canada  can show their rates on RM but many say "Ask". Also RM reviews can be read in full with comments, including any responses from escorts to negative (or positive) reviews.

There is no way of knowing but my impression is that most clients using RM in Canada pay after the session. But then Canadians are world famous for being "nice". It usually  pays to be nice!

[+ DynamicUno]

On 11/15/2022 at 6:33 PM, Luv2play said:

Interesting info on standard rates in your country, which I assume is Britain since you quote pounds. That is quite a wide range for standard providers.

In Canada the standard rates these days in the large centres seem to be beteeen $250 to $350. It often depends on incalls and outcalls where the difference is usually $50. Some may charge less or more but are not quoting those rates on Rentmen. 

Unlike the US, escorts in Canada  can show their rates on RM but many say "Ask". Also RM reviews can be read in full with comments, including any responses from escorts to negative (or positive) reviews.

There is no way of knowing but my impression is that most clients using RM in Canada pay after the session. But then Canadians are world famous for being "nice". It usually  pays to be nice!

I think they send all the mean Canadians to work the Blue Water checkpoint. 

Anyways, the custom in both the US and Canada had been payment at the end of the session in my experience, with a few rare exceptions.  I haven't lived in the big cities like NY or LA, however.  Maybe working in the bigger cities leads to guys having issues with settling up at the end, but sending payment up front usually feels like starting off on the wrong foot.

I've also never had anyone refuse cash before.  The only reason I can think of a guy refusing to do that is if they are traveling and don't want to carry large amounts of cash through airport (or border) security.  In the US cash can be seized by law enforcement without a warrant or charges filed under civil forfeiture, and TSA has been known to coordinate with local LE to seize cash.

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by DynamicUno

[RadioRob]

For me personally, if I’m hosting (a majority of the cases for me lately)… the fee is set aside in a public place in plain site when they come in. If it’s left to the end of the session and I had a great time, there’s a few extra bills slightly out of sight that make their way to the collection. Otherwise if it’s taken up front, those extra bills never are seen.