Contacting Client for Repeat

[VersOral]

Hi everyone,

curious if I'm off base on this. Friday night I met up with a new guy for a massage that went WAY beyond massage. To say the least I got upsold multiple times, and it was well worth it in my opinion. The provider checks a lot of boxes that I find attractive. There was some dirty talk etc. implying he wanted to repeat, and "own" me so to speak. Fast forward to Saturday evening, I get a text from him saying he wants to go for it again. So here's where my question is. If you as a provider enjoyed your time with a client, and are horny for a repeat, do you expect them to pay if you reach out to them? This was not an offer of a discount that they were advertising, this was they wanted to meet for a full repeat, with full money. 

My responses to him started with that my wallet hadn't recovered from the night before, he responded saying he'd do it for $xxx. He kept pressing, and I finally had to tell him that if I had messaged him to meet it would be one thing, but the fact he was messaging me the day after for a hookup, I was not going to pay.

Am I wrong for turning him down in this manner?

[Jamie21]

Strict rule, never contact the client to initiate a meeting. I’ve never done it and never would. It’s intrusive. 

He’s really trying it on especially by proposing to charge and even more so by then offering a discount! I’d go back and say to him, ‘ok but this time you pay me’ and quote him the amount he charged you. That’s tongue in cheek of course, but it would be fun just to see his reaction. 

I bet if you did go back, on whatever arrangement, the session wouldn’t be as good because his proposal will have soured things. What a shame he reacted like he did because I guess you’d probably have booked another session sometime. 

[myophile]

Personally, I’m flattered when providers reach out to me after a session, to say hi, or to let me know when they’ll be back in my city, particularly if the meet-up has been fun for both parties and there’s been some sort of connection established. But timing is everything. It would freak me out a bit to get a message from a provider the next day requesting an immediate repeat with fee, and I would probably have responded as the OP did. My now-regular guy waited about 10 days after our first session to send me an unsolicited “Hi how u doin would love to see u soon” text, and not only did that not bother me, I sprained a finger responding with a date/time/place.

Edited October 2, 2022 by myophile

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

6 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Strict rule, never contact the client to initiate a meeting. I’ve never done it and never would. It’s intrusive. 

As a client, the one exception to this would be for a traveling provider that I've seen before contacting me once to notify me he will be returning to town, especially if that is ahead of his posting his ad so I can get a priority booking as a returning customer.  

[KeepItReal]

9 hours ago, VersOral said:

Hi everyone,

curious if I'm off base on this. Friday night I met up with a new guy for a massage that went WAY beyond massage. To say the least I got upsold multiple times, and it was well worth it in my opinion. The provider checks a lot of boxes that I find attractive. There was some dirty talk etc. implying he wanted to repeat, and "own" me so to speak. Fast forward to Saturday evening, I get a text from him saying he wants to go for it again. So here's where my question is. If you as a provider enjoyed your time with a client, and are horny for a repeat, do you expect them to pay if you reach out to them? This was not an offer of a discount that they were advertising, this was they wanted to meet for a full repeat, with full money. 

My responses to him started with that my wallet hadn't recovered from the night before, he responded saying he'd do it for $xxx. He kept pressing, and I finally had to tell him that if I had messaged him to meet it would be one thing, but the fact he was messaging me the day after for a hookup, I was not going to pay.

Am I wrong for turning him down in this manner?

I've had companions reach out to me before. I bet you a bottle of Macallan 15 that if you suggested meeting the next weekend he would say "sorry, but I will be in Miami/Vegas/LA/NYC"  In other words "I need you to help me fund my upcoming travels" Its happened to me quite a bit. Also happens towards the end of the month when he has to make rent. Don't take it personally - it's just the way things work. 🤷‍♂️

[VersOral]

I’ve definitely had providers reach our before but never the day after expecting essentially the full payment right away. Usually it’s when they’re offering a discount (namely slow)  

with this guy he lives very close and I think we both were on the same Page about repeating in future. A few things about the session lead me to believe he enjoyed it a little more than an average client but it’s hard to tell with these guys. 

[pubic_assistance]

I don't see anything wrong with a provider looking to secure a regular customer. If you're not interested in another session so soon...just say no and say when are ARE ready for round two.

As was stated above - this is a fairly normal business practice for out of town providers who will notify their regulars they will be around at such-n-such a date. 

 

[Guest]

Might be a bit obvious, but what has your experience been for a masseur to reach out to a client? What are the qualities of a client that prompt them to do that?

Edited October 2, 2022 by Guest

[Guest]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't see anything wrong with a provider looking to secure a regular customer. If you're not interested in another session so soon...just say no and say when are ARE ready for round two.

As was stated above - this is a fairly normal business practice for out of town providers who will notify their regulars they will be around at such-n-such a date. 

 

Agreed, but I think what you're describing is a pretty different way of framing it from what the OP experienced in this case.

When I travel I will absolutely reach out to past clients and say "this is when I'm visiting, feel free to reach out if you're interested in making a booking". I know lots of female escorts also keep email lists which they use to advertise their availability en masse. But I think that's a pretty different vibe from saying something like "so are you interested in making a booking again?" or, heaven forbid, "so when would you like to book again?". I would never go there. 

[pubic_assistance]

59 minutes ago, Dante said:

I think that's a pretty different vibe from saying something like "so are you interested in making a booking again?" or, heaven forbid, "so when would you like to book again?".

Somewhat different in that it is a little more like dating.

"So when can I see you again?"

Still seems fine to me.

Just say no. ( If you're not interested)

Doesn't hurt to ask.

 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by pubic_assistance

[GTMike]

5 hours ago, VersOral said:

I’ve definitely had providers reach our before but never the day after expecting essentially the full payment right away. Usually it’s when they’re offering a discount (namely slow)  

with this guy he lives very close and I think we both were on the same Page about repeating in future. A few things about the session lead me to believe he enjoyed it a little more than an average client but it’s hard to tell with these guys. 

Interesting all around perspective. Based on what you've said ( as a client), i think it would really depend but for me generally i encourage gentlemen that it appears we mutually had a great time with to reach out to me whenever they want to. Interesting to hear providers perspective that they find it almost rude to.

I actually feel good that they would feel comfortable to be able to ask whenever they wanted to as long as there'd be no offense taken when told that scheduling or budgeting couldn't work then and we could make a future booking. I especially hate to say (but it's a reality) how my decision could be influenced by what the % discount was or wasn't.

Now with all that said I totally undersand it can get "iffy" as to what was considered genuine good mutual chemistry and what might be considered pushy, unprofessional behavior and/or inappropriately too salesy. So i get and respect the professional's experience and perspectives.

To me I just think of it as that at the end of the day it always comes down to what two consenting adults mutually decide to do and if it can work out or not in whatever the particular situation may or may not be at the time. To me no harm no foul for asking me.

Edited October 2, 2022 by GTMike
Grammar correction and additional information

[+ DrownedBoy]

Ditto to most of this.

Most "client contacts" I received were visitors from out of town, who I'd either seen before, or expressed interest in (but was unable to meet).

I can think of 2 times a local provider reached out to me (not counting the desperate - and ignored - RM messages I received during the pandemic).

1. A kid I stopped hiring because he was always very late. He needed money, but has yet to understand that people with money usually have to follow a strict schedule. He got so persistent that I blocked him.

2. A guy called me a few weeks after our first session. That was 6 years ago, and he's still my favorite regular.

Edited October 2, 2022 by DrownedBoy

[VersOral]

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't see anything wrong with a provider looking to secure a regular customer. If you're not interested in another session so soon...just say no and say when are ARE ready for round two.

As was stated above - this is a fairly normal business practice for out of town providers who will notify their regulars they will be around at such-n-such a date. 

 

This isn’t an out of town provider. His apartment is walking distance from my home. My point is he was expecting payment AGAIN with < 24 hours from the first session. I’m confident I made the right decision in my response, especially after sleeping on it and reading the responses here. 

[VersOral]

7 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't see anything wrong with a provider looking to secure a regular customer. If you're not interested in another session so soon...just say no and say when are ARE ready for round two.

As was stated above - this is a fairly normal business practice for out of town providers who will notify their regulars they will be around at such-n-such a date. 

 

Again, NOT out of town provider.

[VersOral]

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Somewhat different in that it is a little more like dating.

"So when can I see you again?"

Still seems fine to me.

Just say no. ( If you're not interested)

Doesn't hurt to ask.

 

 

Not the conversation I had with the provider, which I thought was clear in my original post...perhaps the reading comprehension is above your weight class?

[pubic_assistance]

24 minutes ago, VersOral said:

Again, NOT out of town provider.

Didn't say he was.

 

[pubic_assistance]

23 minutes ago, VersOral said:

Not the conversation I had with the provider, which I thought was clear in my original post...perhaps the reading comprehension is above your weight class?

Didn't say it was.

I think "reading comprehension" is indeed the problem here.

 

[Jamie21]

Just don’t do it. If a client wants to see me they’ll be in touch. I don’t need to go asking for business fortunately. I don’t travel either so there’s no need to let anyone know I’m in town. 

Many clients are in relationships, some are in high profile roles, they want discretion. If I contact them that could jeopardise their situation. I think discretion is of utmost importance. 
 

[+ DynamicUno]

7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Just don’t do it. If a client wants to see me they’ll be in touch. I don’t need to go asking for business fortunately. I don’t travel either so there’s no need to let anyone know I’m in town. 

Many clients are in relationships, some are in high profile roles, they want discretion. If I contact them that could jeopardise their situation. I think discretion is of utmost importance. 
 

I appreciate your policy on contacting clients, you've clearly given thought to how your market values discretion and have built your business accordingly.  Obviously in the OP's case, the provider did not put that thought into his strategy and lost a potential regular client.

I do think there is room for a provider to reach out to certain clients.  I do appreciate a message after meeting a provider saying he enjoyed the session and would be happy to see me again when I'm ready.  I'm not in a position where I have to be extremely guarded about my phone contacts, however I wouldn't appreciate frequent or pushy messaging from a provider.  But clients who absolutely need strict discretion should also take some responsiblity and never use their personal phone to initiate contact ever and let their providers know not to contact unless contacted first.

The possible alternative is using the internal Rentmen/Rentmassuer site messaging, since that is not likely to compromise a client since other people would have to know they have an account and can access it.

[Jamie21]

The trouble is ‘certain clients’ is not very easy to manage. Easier to just apply the rule to everyone. I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea; some clients would take it as an opening to negotiate a discount, or even think there’s an opportunity for a different kind of relationship.

You get some guys who mistake intimacy during a session as an indication that there’s more to it than a transaction. That’s the challenge, if you’re good the client can easily get the wrong impression.

For example I’m happy to kiss during a massage, I think it’s an important part of the intimacy of a sensual massage (if the client wants that of course). Kissing can get very passionate. But that kind of thing can be misinterpreted which has occasionally happened. Then I’ve had to let him down gently which was really difficult. As well as being respectful of confidentiality I’m also trying to avoid messages that some clients might easily misinterpret. 

[+ keroscenefire]

I actually think it's fairly common for providers to reach out to me as a client. Don't know if it's great policy or not but it does seem to happen quite often.

 

 

[TorontoDrew]

I don't mind when a provider contacts me for a repeat.  Except if it's on Grindr - then it's a freebie.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 10/3/2022 at 2:57 AM, Jamie21 said:

Just don’t do it. If a client wants to see me they’ll be in touch. I don’t need to go asking for business fortunately. I don’t travel either so there’s no need to let anyone know I’m in town. 

Many clients are in relationships, some are in high profile roles, they want discretion. If I contact them that could jeopardise their situation. I think discretion is of utmost importance. 
 

This discussion has come up before. I personally think it all depends on HOW you relate to clients. I’m not trying to imply that you or them only see each other as a transaction, but it depends how you go about it. 

I can sense a client who is likely to be very discreet, married/playing on the side. I probably won’t contact them out the blue. Versus a client who’s free and single and doesn’t mind a bit of connection.

Long story short: I recently found out a client was mutual friends with a couple I met last year. Why? Because we have been keeping in touch and decided to link up at an event last weekend. I text him, he texts me. We text each other and ask to meet whenever we have the inclination.

Idk how things are in Europe but, it’s 2022. It’s not the 2002 newspaper ads of yesteryear. Escorting has “technically” in my opinion, evolved into “hookup” culture, with benefits lol. Many/most of the hiring clients today, are in open relationships and many escorts ads have come a long way from a few words and a picture. It’s been a great way to meet higher quality men, who actually don’t mind spending, versus cheap guys who just expect you to go out of your way, and use up your gas to fuck them. 
 

There’s a guy who lives 80 miles from me. At first he offered me gas money, but flaked. Then couple weeks later talking about I can come, but he’s not going to give me gas money. I’m like bro, do you really think you’re going to make or break me by giving/not giving me gas money? Do you know how much I spend on gas per month, in a year? Goodbye 🚮
 

That’s one reason I try to develop good relationships with clients. I don’t want to meet dudes who devalue my time, effort and expense.
 

 

On 10/2/2022 at 5:04 PM, DrownedBoy said:

1. A kid I stopped hiring because he was always very late. He needed money, but has yet to understand that people with money usually have to follow a strict schedule. He got so persistent that I blocked him.

For some reason, this comes off a bit condescending. It’s more like saying, “because I have more money than you, I’m busier and my time is more important than yours”.

I remember years ago I was in DC unloading my luggage, and some bitch and her husband had an attitude because the hotel only had enough space for one car to enter/exit. They start getting an attitude trying to rush me, as if they are more important. He started blowing his horn, I started blowing my horn. She starting yelling, I started yelling. Then I left my car there and handed the keys to the valet 🚮
 

Obviously, they were running late to wherever they needed to be…but wanted me to bust my ass in the process to accommodate. And sometimes I feel clients do the same. They have limited schedules or don’t really contact with much room for planning, then fault us for being “late”. 

That’s not to excuse lateness, just that “people with money” didn’t exactly sit right. 

Edited October 6, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ DrownedBoy]

13 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

For some reason, this comes off a bit condescending. It’s more like saying, “because I have more money than you, I’m busier and my time is more important than yours”.

Until the Great Socialist Revolution sweeps the U.S., this is not condescending. It's reality....the same reality I got taught when I was that kid's age.

[+ Coolwave35]

I live in an escort desert. If I have a good time with an escort passing through or willing to make the trek I specifically ask them to let me know when they’re back in my area. Other guys who ask for a repeat without that express permission to contact me first turn me off big time and I won’t hire them again.