How to bring up more with your masseur.

[GregWillingAble]

On 12/2/2022 at 12:20 PM, arnemgreeves said:

Prostitute has been used as a term for anybody exchanging money for sex. I don't think there should be a distinction between legal or illegal prostitution or sex work, in terms of the actual labelling of such.

There are very distinctive differences between Prostitutes, Sex Workers and Escorts. For as long as any of those are criminalised, the others need that difference in distinction in order to survive and not get tarred with the same brush. 

As said previously...

A prostitute is considered someone who solicits clients in public with a set rate for specific sex acts. In most western societies, this is illegal.  

An Escort is someone who charges for the time and companionship - any sex that happens is irrelevant and is effectively just private sex between two consenting adults. In most western societies, this is perfectly legal.

A sex worker is someone whose work is of a sexual nature, but is within the confides of legal parameters and not necessarily involving other people (such as porn performers / cam modes / Only Fans etc), and can include the likes of dominatrices and dungeon masters etc.

... and a "Masseur" is NONE OF THESE. 😠

[Jamie21]

There must be some mentality that insists people should fall into categories that they define: “a sex worker is… a prostitute is…” etc. Lawyers? People who can’t abide ambiguity? People who like control?

I’m a masseur, a sex worker, I have sex for money, I make porn. What category should I be in? 

[+ Lucky]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

There must be some mentality that insists people should fall into categories that they define: “a sex worker is… a prostitute is…” etc. Lawyers? People who can’t abide ambiguity? People who like control?

I’m a masseur, a sex worker, I have sex for money, I make porn. What category should I be in? 

A category of your own!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

And then there's the direct approach.

'Hey, would you mind pounding me out like a piece of chicken parm?'

[jeezifonly]

59 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

And then there's the direct approach.

'Hey, would you mind pounding me out like a piece of chicken parm?'

He’s gotta show me the peppermill first. In case he’s got a Rubirosa. 😂

 

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

On 11/7/2022 at 12:44 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I don't generally hire escorts because I can't know I want to have a physical engagement with someone until I've met them.

You're not alone...

[+ nycman]

On 2/9/2023 at 12:30 AM, BenjaminNicholas said:

'Hey, would you mind pounding me out like a piece of chicken parm?'

The exact reverse happened to me to today at the "end" of a massage.

Hunky massage therapist: "dude, I just need to get banged out. Is that cool with you?"

I couldn’t say "YES" fast enough. And he was right…he NEEDED it. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

13 hours ago, nycman said:

The exact reverse happened to me to today at the "end" of a massage.

Hunky massage therapist: "dude, I just need to get banged out. Is that cool with you?"

I couldn’t say "YES" fast enough. And he was right…he NEEDED it. 

I really needed you to keep the food-related puns going on this reply.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 2/6/2023 at 2:36 PM, Jamie21 said:

There must be some mentality that insists people should fall into categories that they define: “a sex worker is… a prostitute is…” etc. Lawyers? People who can’t abide ambiguity? People who like control?

I’m a masseur, a sex worker, I have sex for money, I make porn. What category should I be in? 

I still feel sex worker would still be the general umbrella term. 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 2/7/2023 at 1:32 AM, arnemgreeves said:

This applies mainly to the USA. Their sex laws don’t apply universally. A prostitute can be an escort. I’d argue a sex worker can be anybody who uses sex to make a living. There are most likely many escorts who would say they are prostitutes since it’s what they are. it’s not as black and white as one might think. 

there are plenty of erotic masseurs who only do only handjobs but are still sex workers. 

 

Hmm, not quite. Prostitute is an outdated word to be honest. Nobody says or calls themselves that much anymore. Prostitute has been stereotyped and stigmatized to death by Hollywood and the news media to imply a drug addicted, abuse fleeing, street soliciting person who needs “help”. 
 

Never claim that escorts are prostitutes. Words to describe people change and become defunct over time. It’s 2023. Not 1993. Similar to words like “Negro” to reference blacks which has been outdated (even though we still haven’t gotten to fix calling presidents, quarterbacks and TV stars who have 1 Black parent and 1 White parent: “Black”, but that’s another topic for another thread) 

Also nobody well intentioned beyond gays themselves in a catty, joking manner would call gays “homos” or “homosexuals” regardless of what the fuck the dictionary actually says it is. 
 

Trust me: it’s very Black and White. And victims of trafficking are not escorts or sex workers. So for lobbyists to throw the book and the baby out with the bath water, is partly why society in this country can’t get it right. Because people want to perpetuate some definition created by people from 100 years ago, versus asking people individually what they consider themselves.

Edited February 18, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[CuriousByNature]

7 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I still feel sex worker would still be the general umbrella term. 

 

How about 'coital engineer'...

[KrisParr]

 

This is an interesting thread. May I offer a slightly different viewpoint for the benefit of both providers and clients? Quite long ago I started going to a masseur who was openly gay but only offered therapeutic services. He allowed me to be nude and was very professional about ignoring my constant erection. We even joked about it. I teased him a little that a HE “would be our little secret” and he always had some smart-ass remark and then we’d laugh some more. But he never, ever did anything inappropriate- strictly legit. After a few months, his warmth, excellent skills and devilish grin started getting to me. He often talked about his partner and it was obvious that they indeed were in a committed relationship. But by then, the lust for the forbidden was getting to be too much. So late one evening, I was the last client and horny as hell. As I was attempting to get dressed with my boner still intact, I asked him “what it would take” for us to have a little fun. He made a joke and threw a towel at me.  I muttered something like, “dude, I would do about anything if you’d let me show you a good time - seriously, no one would ever know …” He didn’t say anything. And this is where I wish I’d stopped. But I continued on. I told him how hot he was (and he was damn cute) and all I wanted to do was have a little oral fun - with him as the receiver of my talents. He didn’t say anything. By now my brain was awash with crazy thoughts and I started telling him to just name his price. He didn’t say anything at first. I just wouldn’t stop. Then he walked over to me and took my hand. He told me that I wasn’t the first, and might not be the last. But his commitment to his partner was sincere. And while he no doubt would enjoy some fun, there was no way it was going to happen. He squeezed my hand, and gave me a little kiss on the cheek. As he walked out the door, he said that the last 5 minutes never happened.

 

My limp dick and I left, and I felt like shit. Or worse. I had a standing appointment and when I came back for the next massage, he greeted me truly as if nothing had occurred. Over the next few months I still felt terrible so one day I called him, apologized one more time, and ended our relationship. He couldn’t have been nicer.  So gentlemen, sometimes our libido can get the best of us. Just be sure you know what you’re doing when you “reach out” to touch your provider.

[CuriousByNature]

4 hours ago, KrisParr said:

 

This is an interesting thread. May I offer a slightly different viewpoint for the benefit of both providers and clients? Quite long ago I started going to a masseur who was openly gay but only offered therapeutic services. He allowed me to be nude and was very professional about ignoring my constant erection. We even joked about it. I teased him a little that a HE “would be our little secret” and he always had some smart-ass remark and then we’d laugh some more. But he never, ever did anything inappropriate- strictly legit. After a few months, his warmth, excellent skills and devilish grin started getting to me. He often talked about his partner and it was obvious that they indeed were in a committed relationship. But by then, the lust for the forbidden was getting to be too much. So late one evening, I was the last client and horny as hell. As I was attempting to get dressed with my boner still intact, I asked him “what it would take” for us to have a little fun. He made a joke and threw a towel at me.  I muttered something like, “dude, I would do about anything if you’d let me show you a good time - seriously, no one would ever know …” He didn’t say anything. And this is where I wish I’d stopped. But I continued on. I told him how hot he was (and he was damn cute) and all I wanted to do was have a little oral fun - with him as the receiver of my talents. He didn’t say anything. By now my brain was awash with crazy thoughts and I started telling him to just name his price. He didn’t say anything at first. I just wouldn’t stop. Then he walked over to me and took my hand. He told me that I wasn’t the first, and might not be the last. But his commitment to his partner was sincere. And while he no doubt would enjoy some fun, there was no way it was going to happen. He squeezed my hand, and gave me a little kiss on the cheek. As he walked out the door, he said that the last 5 minutes never happened.

 

My limp dick and I left, and I felt like shit. Or worse. I had a standing appointment and when I came back for the next massage, he greeted me truly as if nothing had occurred. Over the next few months I still felt terrible so one day I called him, apologized one more time, and ended our relationship. He couldn’t have been nicer.  So gentlemen, sometimes our libido can get the best of us. Just be sure you know what you’re doing when you “reach out” to touch your provider.

Thank you for sharing this - likely not the easiest memories to recall and express, even anonymously.

[GregWillingAble]

On 11/7/2022 at 5:08 PM, Rod Hagen said:

I've never understood why clients go through the work and frustration of hoping/searching for more with a masseur.  If you want more, hire an escort, problem solved. 

Simple. Cost. 

I mean, I appreciate times are hard financially for many people. But expecting an escort to charge the same as a masseur (which means basically losing about £60 per hour for the escort) is just insulting and does us no favours whatsoever... just because the client doesn't understand the difference between a masseur and an escort. 

In their defence though, that is usually the fault of the masseurs leading the client on to think they can have anything they want for £40 an hour. 🤦‍♂️