Clients who play game

[+ DrownedBoy]

Well perhaps the hive mind can tell me if I'm contacting providers correctly.

1. I greet them with their preferred name, tell them where I saw their ad, and ask if they're interested in a session. Sometimes I also mention which Chicago neighborhood I live in, a general idea of what I'm into, or when I'm looking to hire.

2. Usually at this point, good providers ask what I'm into. If not, I tell them and ask if they're interested. I also try to confirm if we're close enough to meet.

3. If they're interested, then I'll go into the details, such as rates, date and time, payment method, etc. Either side can pull out at any time (pun intended). A good exchange ends with a deal and a scheduled session.

I'd like to get rates earlier, but I've read in this forum that RM often scope out the competition with rate queries as the first contact. If any providers have suggestions on how to ask earlier, let me know.

Of course, even with this method, I still constantly don't receive any response (or I get a response a day later). And if an escort reacts to my initial text with only a "hey," I'm not going to answer them until they answer my initial question.

Edited July 11, 2022 by DrownedBoy

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Well perhaps the hive mind can tell me if I'm contacting providers correctly.

1. I greet them with their preferred name, tell them where I saw their ad, and ask if they're interested in a session. Sometimes I also mention which Chicago neighborhood I live in, a general idea of what I'm into, or when I'm looking to hire.

2. Usually at this point, good providers ask what I'm into. If not, I tell them and ask if they're interested. I also try to confirm if we're close enough to meet.

3. If they're interested, then I'll go into the details, such as rates, date and time, payment method, etc. Either side can pull out at any time (pun intended). A good exchange ends with a deal and a scheduled session.

I'd like to get rates earlier, but I've read in this forum that RM often scope out the competition with rate queries as the first contact. If any providers have suggestions on how to ask earlier, let me know.

Of course, even with this method, I still constantly don't receive any response (or I get a response a day later). And if an escort reacts to my initial text with only a "hey," I'm not going to answer them until they answer my initial question.

Sounds pretty solid to me, good of you to check in about it. I support the interests-before-rates flow. I think the time you (and they) may lose chatting to someone outside your price range is worth the positive tone you'll set with the one you end up meeting, that tone being that compatibility was your primary concern. 

[Storm4U]

The truth is that they do it because they don’t respect you, your time, or what you do, and they get off on interacting with you.  They take advantage of any time and attention you’ll give away to them because they  have no intention of booking  you, and they will not be able to interact with you outside of any time and attention you’ll give to them for free. It’s  the reality and one of the worst, if not the worst parts of this business. What you’ll learn though is that there are patterns, and it is pretty easy to identify  people who are serious about booking and people who are not serious. Learn how to Identify those people who are clearly going to try and waste your time, and stop engaging with them.  They can only waste a lot of your time if you let them.

Edited July 11, 2022 by Storm4U

[+ KensingtonHomo]

20 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Questions are fine, most can be answered by saying “see my website”. There’s a difference between genuine questions and sex chat. 

I generally love your posts but in my experience, less than 5% of escorts have websites. I suspect it's because I'm in the US where those website would have to be full of euphemisms. But I do generally check out any links a provider has even if it's just to Instagram or Twitter. It gives a fuller picture and sometimes answers questions I may have. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

15 hours ago, Dante said:

Come on, you're being very un-dude. Nothing is fucked here. 

 

(I'm really hoping your username is the movie reference I think it is.) 

I'm cackling a bit at the OP who literally said "the ad doesn't have an address" and then acted like we were all stupid when we pointed out why a provider wouldn't do that. 

[TT3690]

Sometimes I don't ask questions about preferences because I just don't get responses a lot of the time. For example, positions when topping/bottoming- it's actually pretty useful information to know, but I could see how that could be interpreted as trying to 'get off' on the conversation.

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I generally love your posts but in my experience, less than 5% of escorts have websites. I suspect it's because I'm in the US where those website would have to be full of euphemisms. But I do generally check out any links a provider has even if it's just to Instagram or Twitter. It gives a fuller picture and sometimes answers questions I may have. 

Yes I agree a website is unusual for an escort, I was coming at it from the perspective of a masseur, and a European based one too. It’s much easier to be clear about what’s on offer where the service is legal.

[SamSpring]

On 7/10/2022 at 12:20 PM, Kevin Slater said:

Good point.  I'll be sure to alter my ad to include 399 West 48th Street #12B.

Kevin Slater

Kevin Slater I love your comments!

[italianboyph]

I always wonder if it's a kink for some people to hit you up and leave you hanging. Like a form of phone sex talking about it happening but knowing it won't 

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, italianboyph said:

I always wonder if it's a kink for some people to hit you up and leave you hanging. Like a form of phone sex talking about it happening but knowing it won't 

Agree, it’s a way guys can take part in hiring but vicariously so as to protect their sense of self. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 9/28/2022 at 3:11 AM, italianboyph said:

I always wonder if it's a kink for some people to hit you up and leave you hanging. Like a form of phone sex talking about it happening but knowing it won't 

Of course.

Even on Grindr, I've been contacted by people who, unsolicited, tell me they're into something really different (like scat), right before blocking me immediately.

(one day, I'm sure that guy will block someone who really is into scat - poor him  )

[Boink]

On 9/28/2022 at 1:11 AM, italianboyph said:

I always wonder if it's a kink for some people to hit you up and leave you hanging. Like a form of phone sex talking about it happening but knowing it won't 

As a client, I've wondered this about some escorts I've reached out to.

[coriolis888]

On 7/10/2022 at 12:47 PM, Jamie21 said:

There’s a difference between genuine questions and sex chat. 

That is so very true. 

Unfortunately, some providers cannot tell the difference between the two.

Many providers feel that they should not have to answer questions prior to the hire.  They feel their ad and photos should be sufficient data for a client to make an immediate decision to hire.  

Let us not forget, MANY ads are fake and contain exaggerated/false information and stolen photos. 

Over the years, how many threads in this forum were started by forum members asking about ads that appeared to be fake and were later proven to be fake? 

Countless ads were discovered as fake simply because other forum members asked the question and various other forum members responded with proof.  

In view of the above facts, some chat by a client is an attempt to make less, the chance of being scammed with a fake and false ad.  

Of course, there are true "time-wasters" but too many legitimate clients are falsely branded as wasting the time of an escort. 

As an analogy, if I went to a store to purchase a product and if I asked the sales agent questions about the product before I made the commitment to buy, would the sales person tell me to read the advertisement about the product and call me  a "time waster"?   

 

[pubic_assistance]

On 7/9/2022 at 2:56 PM, Yoyotonodo said:

Why are some clients play game and chat for several days, promise to meet then disappear and block providers. This is disgusting behavior and emotional wrecking for providers but seems like these faked clients love it as a form of torturing providers! 

I think a lot of gay men (although not exclusively )...have a bad habit of working out their sexual fantasies online at the expense of the person with whom they are communicating. You see this odd behavior on Grindr and I am not surprised to hear that escorts/masseurs suffer the effects of this mental illness too. 

I have myself engaged in MANY MANY conversations on Grindr with men who may spend over an hour discussing the possibility of a sexual encounter only to disappear, never to be heard from again.

My take on this weird, but common phenomenon is that lots of people ( men ) get off on the mere hunt for sex and not necessarily the consummation. Mostly likely jacking it at home, while the poor escort/masseur is left wondering where their next meal is coming from. Very sad. But sadly common.

[Jamie21]

7 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I think a lot of gay men (although not exclusively )...have a bad habit of working out their sexual fantasies online at the expense of the person with whom they are communicating. You see this odd behavior on Grindr and I am not surprised to hear that escorts/masseurs suffer the effects of this mental illness too. 

I have myself engaged in MANY MANY conversations on Grindr with men who may spend over an hour discussing the possibility of a sexual encounter only to disappear, never to be heard from again.

My take on this weird, but common phenomenon is that lots of people ( men ) get off on the mere hunt for sex and not necessarily the consummation. Mostly likely jacking it at home, while the poor escort/masseur is left wondering where their next meal is coming from. Very sad. But sadly common.

Yes it’s quite common. Mostly though I think it comes from their inhibitions about gay sex. Those who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to know what they want and ask for it, it’s a straight forward request and booking. However there’s men of all ages who for a variety of reasons are inhibited about their sexuality. These guys tend to ask naive questions. They   are strongly conflicted between their desire for man to man action and their self image and identity which is outwardly heterosexual. It tends to result in them seeking out opportunities to explore their gay side in ways that protects their straight identity, hence the ‘playing the client’ role. Eventually their desire overcomes the inhibitions holding them back and they start to actually act on their desires. So I see it as helping these guys to accept that same sex attraction is totally normal, healthy and something to be enjoyed. Massage offers them a safe way to do that….much better than a Grindr hookup. 

[italianboyph]

On 9/30/2022 at 10:56 AM, Boink said:

As a client, I've wondered this about some escorts I've reached out to.

I don't know, I wouldn't waste anyones time. I always try to make accommodations the best way I can, but if I couldn't meet I'd just say I can't or we could pick another time. I do think it's just odd for a client to hit providers up, ask them to meet and then when it comes time to meet you get ghosted, in my experience. Or if clients will hit me up and ask for nudes and then once I do, you don't hear a thing. 

[Boink]

4 hours ago, italianboyph said:

I don't know, I wouldn't waste anyones time. I always try to make accommodations the best way I can, but if I couldn't meet I'd just say I can't or we could pick another time. I do think it's just odd for a client to hit providers up, ask them to meet and then when it comes time to meet you get ghosted, in my experience. Or if clients will hit me up and ask for nudes and then once I do, you don't hear a thing. 

On the flip side, I, as a client, wouldn't waste anyone's time. But I find it odd when a provider advertises his services continuously, and yet when I reach out multiple times with the utmost sincerity and respect in hopes of arranging a meeting, I am not granted the dignity of a response of any kind.

Two sides to every scenario.

[coriolis888]

53 minutes ago, Boink said:

On the flip side, I, as a client, wouldn't waste anyone's time. But I find it odd when a provider advertises his services continuously, and yet when I reach out multiple times with the utmost sincerity and respect in hopes of arranging a meeting, I am not granted the dignity of a response of any kind.

Two sides to every scenario.

 

Precisely!

Some, not all, providers feel that many clients are time wasters. 

If a client does not immediately accept the information posted in the providers advertisements or has a few questions for the provider, many times, a client gets ghosted by the provider.

As the above poster said, there are two sides to every scenario.  

 

[coriolis888]

18 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

some guys are just dicks.

others are probably high or drunk and doing it for kicks.

sometimes, some guys get nervous or don't get a good vibe off the phone call. 

A very good point.  

Not all providers are friendly or inviting when they are called.  

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 10/1/2022 at 4:12 AM, arnemgreeves said:

some guys are just dicks.

others are probably high or drunk and doing it for kicks.

sometimes, some guys get nervous or don't get a good vibe off the phone call. 

 

On 10/1/2022 at 10:49 PM, coriolis888 said:

A very good point.  

Not all providers are friendly or inviting when they are called.  

 

On 9/30/2022 at 6:03 PM, coriolis888 said:

That is so very true. 

Unfortunately, some providers cannot tell the difference between the two.

Many providers feel that they should not have to answer questions prior to the hire.  They feel their ad and photos should be sufficient data for a client to make an immediate decision to hire.  

Let us not forget, MANY ads are fake and contain exaggerated/false information and stolen photos. 

Over the years, how many threads in this forum were started by forum members asking about ads that appeared to be fake and were later proven to be fake? 

Countless ads were discovered as fake simply because other forum members asked the question and various other forum members responded with proof.  

In view of the above facts, some chat by a client is an attempt to make less, the chance of being scammed with a fake and false ad.  

Of course, there are true "time-wasters" but too many legitimate clients are falsely branded as wasting the time of an escort. 

As an analogy, if I went to a store to purchase a product and if I asked the sales agent questions about the product before I made the commitment to buy, would the sales person tell me to read the advertisement about the product and call me  a "time waster"?   

 

 Must quote all 3 of you at once:

I have to mention: sometimes an “unfriendly” or “not good vibe” is stuff that some clients make up in their minds, as an excuse.

I just had this the other day. And I’ll detail  how it went: For one: the client sent me a text a 6:58 a.m. on a Sunday MORNING and then when I didn’t respond, sends another again at 8 a.m. Fortunately my phone was on do not disturb because I was sleep in bed next to my “Fuck Buddy” that morning. That is far too invasive and early in the morning to be contacting someone for the 1st time, to begin with. 

Once I did get back to him later in the morning, around 11 (I make clear on my profile that I don’t start until noon for Outcalls and 3 p.m. when hosting) we exchange texts. But I kid you not: he took from 11 all the way until 5:30 pm to give me a time, which was for 3 hours later. All the while asking questions. When I told him I had already agreed to different plan and I would need a different time (because I asked him TWICE for time/address/deposit), I get no response.

That’s not asking questions about a product.  That’s just being a irritating pest. He already contacted me early in the morning, practically trying to wake me up, 1st offense. Wouldn’t give me specific time or location despite hours going by, 2nd offense. And then wouldn’t even respond when I said what time I COULD arrive, 3rd offense.

It’s things like this why I have a strict deposit policy in place. I have to constantly explain on my ads about this and that thing because people assume when I move my ad to a different city, that I magically “left” the area, not understanding that if I wasn’t in the area, I would say so.

But fortunately, I found out that person has 5 bad reports on blacklist app along with the 6th I posted. I made sure to include “tweaker” and “ timewaster” together, considering he asked if I can party so I can stay hard for him and his BF. Give me a break. And he probably sent me fake pictures of them too. 
 

That’s the type of time wasting stuff that gets on our nerves. Not just asking questions.

On 10/1/2022 at 2:58 AM, Jamie21 said:

Yes it’s quite common. Mostly though I think it comes from their inhibitions about gay sex. Those who are comfortable with their sexuality tend to know what they want and ask for it, it’s a straight forward request and booking. However there’s men of all ages who for a variety of reasons are inhibited about their sexuality. These guys tend to ask naive questions. They   are strongly conflicted between their desire for man to man action and their self image and identity which is outwardly heterosexual. It tends to result in them seeking out opportunities to explore their gay side in ways that protects their straight identity, hence the ‘playing the client’ role. Eventually their desire overcomes the inhibitions holding them back and they start to actually act on their desires. So I see it as helping these guys to accept that same sex attraction is totally normal, healthy and something to be enjoyed. Massage offers them a safe way to do that….much better than a Grindr hookup. 

All the above is true if you’re referring to DL/closeted clients. However, there’s also plenty of openly gay clients who play these games just as much. If anything, it’s often the closeted married guys who are more serious than the openly gays. I find the “gay couples” to be a bit more hesitant to book, hence the situation above. I’m just going to limit taking gay couples if I have to keep dealing with BS like that. 
 

I find the single, not active in the “nightlife” gay clients tend to be the more reliable ones. However, the other week I picked up a super discrete married client in a hotel bar 😆 He was just so involved in the conversation me and my gay friend were having, despite being married. So I had to whip out my phone and show him my website 😉 

Makes me think: I need to do that more often, except I don’t live close enough to upscale boutique hotels downtown where that type of action is accessible.

Edited October 5, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

And the other thing I’ll drop:

People on here love to talk about asking the escort questions, but yet when the table is turned and clients get asked 2 or 3 simple pertinent questions, they either don’t respond or cut the conversation.

So…I have all my info on display but yet, I can’t ask 1 question? How does that work? You can’t be all in the know, but not be willing to reciprocate the favor. 

[italianboyph]

On 10/1/2022 at 10:34 PM, Boink said:

On the flip side, I, as a client, wouldn't waste anyone's time. But I find it odd when a provider advertises his services continuously, and yet when I reach out multiple times with the utmost sincerity and respect in hopes of arranging a meeting, I am not granted the dignity of a response of any kind.

Two sides to every scenario.

I agree, but also providers aren't always free. If I'm not free I still eventually get back to the client, that's just common courtesy.  I just think hitting someone up with the no intention of meeting, or just to see dick pics is messed up. This obviously is talking about clients who play games, 

[+ DERRIK]

Doing business today is tough for both sides (seller/buyer)

it seems the best practice is to make it easy to buy/sell

20 questions on either side make it NOT easy

For the most part - I reach out to providers on here - its easy for me to vet them and vise versa

I do business on the web - it's my sole source of income - while my service is complicated to complete - I try to make things as simple as possible up front - I quote a price upfront and don't invoice until I've completed the service

[+ DrownedBoy]

23 minutes ago, DERRIK said:

Doing business today is tough for both sides (seller/buyer)

it seems the best practice is to make it easy to buy/sell

20 questions on either side make it NOT easy

For the most part - I reach out to providers on here - its easy for me to vet them and vise versa

I do business on the web - it's my sole source of income - while my service is complicated to complete - I try to make things as simple as possible up front - I quote a price upfront and don't invoice until I've completed the service

Here's an idea - when you make a website, put a "Q&A" section with all the questions you've gotten.

[+ DERRIK]

Back in the ‘old days’

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

Here's an idea - when you make a website, put a "Q&A" section with all the questions you've gotten.

back in the old days - web sites had FAQ.