Having a hot live in "guest"

[The_Impeccable_G]

A few moths ago I met this young guy in the apps. Ultra hot, signed fashion model. No money exchanged just a few visits at Hermes... A month ago his parents find out he is gay and make his life miserable. He moves out from family and crushes in my flat for a night or two since June... He is at his final year at a University in my city, so I know he will need to stay for at least the next 9 months. I have mixed feelings about this cohabitation but generally it is ok.

 

I am sure other members are, or have been, in similar situations. I am not asking for advice, but I would love to hear other members experience.

[+ FrankR]

A few moths ago I met this young guy in the apps. Ultra hot, signed fashion model. No money exchanged just a few visits at Hermes... A month ago his parents find out he is gay and make his life miserable. He moves out from family and crushes in my flat for a night or two since June... He is at his final year at a University in my city, so I know he will need to stay for at least the next 9 months. I have mixed feelings about this cohabitation but generally it is ok.

 

I am sure other members are, or have been, in similar situations. I am not asking for advice, but I would love to hear other members experience.

The one time I did this it did not work out well. Mainly my fault as I did not outline clear expectations and I failed to communicate on an ongoing basis. ? Set up clear ground rules. Adjust or add to those ground rules as needed - he must be willing to work with you as long as you are being reasonable.

 

As an example, we agreed to split the chores around the house but we were not specific about what they were and who should take care of them and when. The kitchen floors should be mopped every other day or when you make a mess.

 

Then there were things that came to light as time progressed. It irritated me to walk into the kitchen in the morning to find dirty dishes on the counter - they should be in the dish washer!

 

Be very clear on how long he can stay and if you decide he has to go, what are the terms? Will you give him a week to find a new place?

 

Also make sure you understand the personal cost. Not just the expense of having him live with you, food can be expensive if he is bulking and utilities for two can also be more expensive - but also you will have far less privacy, he may want to have friends over when you need peace and quiet.

 

I don’t regret having the fella stay with me at all - I do regret not managing his stay better. There is a saying in the military: amateurs talk about strategy - professionals talk about logistics. I should have spent more time on logistics. ?

[MscleLovr]

I have had similar house-guests in the past @The_Impeccable_G I had great experiences with various young Brazilian models coming to Europe for the first time. Also, I’ve had young Australian, American, Italian, Slovak and Polish house-guests.

 

As @FrankR noted above, it pays to be clear (but not crass) about your expectations. And of course, it’s costly - young men eat lots of good food - and I’d have to buy 2 tickets for trips, concerts etc but I enjoyed their company.

 

I have no problem in being clear and open, but I always resist labels. I was surprised at first at just how readily - without my asking - fit young men (often with girlfriends back home) would join me in bed to express their gratitude for my hospitality in London and Spain.

 

The only times I had problems is when I hadn’t thought to institute a “house-rule” on certain behaviors. I spelled out “no drugs in my house” but I was relaxed about most things. I had to institute a rule of “no female guests overnight” after I encountered one at breakfast. She was the friend of the hot young Brazilian I had staying with me, and after she’d left, I said to him that her presence overnight made me uncomfortable and that he should go to her place for sex in future. He was a thoroughly nice guy and apologized immediately for not asking me first...and that evening as I was reading a book, he came into my room in just his briefs to make sure I was happy with him.

[The_Impeccable_G]

There is a saying in the military: amateurs talk about strategy - professionals talk about logistics.

This is an excellent quote, I never heard it before. I will use it in a business context. ?

Frankly I have no time or energy to setup rules. For the time, with the help of the cleaning lady, everything is fine. If this changes I will see what I'll do.

[The_Impeccable_G]

I have had similar house-guests in the past @The_Impeccable_G I had great experiences with various young Brazilian models coming to Europe for the first time. Also, I’ve had young Australian, American, Italian, Slovak and Polish house-guests.

 

As @FrankR noted above, it pays to be clear (but not crass) about your expectations. And of course, it’s costly - young men eat lots of good food - and I’d have to buy 2 tickets for trips, concerts etc but I enjoyed their company.

 

I have no problem in being clear and open, but I always resist labels. I was surprised at first at just how readily - without my asking - fit young men (often with girlfriends back home) would join me in bed to express their gratitude for my hospitality in London and Spain.

 

The only times I had problems is when I hadn’t thought to institute a “house-rule” on certain behaviors. I spelled out “no drugs in my house” but I was relaxed about most things. I had to institute a rule of “no female guests overnight” after I encountered one at breakfast. She was the friend of the hot young Brazilian I had staying with me, and after she’d left, I said to him that her presence overnight made me uncomfortable and that he should go to her place for sex in future. He was a thoroughly nice guy and apologized immediately for not asking me first...and that evening as I was reading a book, he came into my room in just his briefs to make sure I was happy with him.

I envy your collection of house guests.

 

I do not have any expectations apart from the very obvious for a civil cohabitation. And to clarify, there are no sexual expectations. This is over from my side and in any case I would not take advantage of him now that he needs a place to stay. He is a truly remarkable person and I see him as a friend.

 

As for the cost of food, he barely eats. He is so thin... And I will be really surprised if I see him with a woman. He is so gay, almost androgynous.

[+ poolboy48220]

I hosted a former dancer from the club for a few years, he was on the streets, seemed to have a lot of potential, and my goal was to give him a stable place while he found his bearings. I didn't ask for rent, I supplied food & paid our bar tab, and helped him out with various expenses. It was a good experience overall but we clashed on a handful of things: like others, guests in the house (first friends over to play video games, then girlfriends), and his general tendency to leave a job because it wasn't fulfilling without having something else lined up. Unlike some others, I got no reciprocation of joining me in bed or barely even hanging around in underwear.

[Luv2play]

In the last decade of my working life I got a dog and was living in the house I had bought twenty years earlier. For most of that time I had lived alone but on getting the dog I felt I needed a roommate to have someone around when I wasn’t there. So I offered a room to rent. This was shortly after I had given a room to a dancer I met at a strip club who said he knew my nephew and was looking for a temporary place to stay. This arrangement only lasted a couple of months as there was no sex after the first night and I started to feel like his uncle. One night he borrowed my best sweater without asking me, got something on it and washed in and then threw it in the dryer. This was a Shetland wool sweater from Harrod’s in London. Needless to say when I found it it would have fit a doll. I gave him bus money the next day to return to Toronto, his home town. The roommates I rented my spare room to turned out to be fine. One was an escort (he came in my room one night early on but I told him I didn’t want to alter our relationship) and the others were young guys with jobs (all gay). I on;y had sex with one of them (sort of a spontaneous thing) since he had a boyfriend. The last roommate was learning to be a masseur and would practice on me which was nice as he was the cutest of all. After I retired I sold the house and moved away so no more roommates.

[+ FrankR]

In the last decade of my working life I got a dog and was living in the house I had bought twenty years earlier. For most of that time I had lived alone but on getting the dog I felt I needed a roommate to have someone around when I wasn’t there. So I offered a room to rent. This was shortly after I had given a room to a dancer I met at a strip club who said he knew my nephew and was looking for a temporary place to stay. This arrangement only lasted a couple of months as there was no sex after the first night and I started to feel like his uncle. One night he borrowed my best sweater without asking me, got something on it and washed in and then threw it in the dryer. This was a Shetland wool sweater from Harrod’s in London. Needless to say when I found it it would have fit a doll. I gave him bus money the next day to return to Toronto, his home town. The roommates I rented my spare room to turned out to be fine. One was an escort (he came in my room one night early on but I told him I didn’t want to alter our relationship) and the others were young guys with jobs (all gay). I on;y had sex with one of them (sort of a spontaneous thing) since he had a boyfriend. The last roommate was learning to be a masseur and would practice on me which was nice as he was the cutest of all. After I retired I sold the house and moved away so no more roommates.

Men come and go... But what happened to the dog?? ?

 

[+ purplekow]

When I was younger and first bought my home, I had an adjustable mortgage, which actually worked out well for every year fur the first. After the first year, the mortgage went up $500 a month. The day I found this out, my rather handsome and built young landscaper told me he was looking for a place to stay. I offered him the room for $500 and he took it. He was the kind of young man who did walk around the house with only tight bikini underwear and that was a bonus. There was no intimacy and he was rather dull to have around the house. After one year, the mortgage went down considerably and since he did not go down, we decided mutually that our time together had come to an end. If we had come together, our time would not have ended.

[liubit]

Many years ago, when I was in my mid-to-late thirties and living in NYC, one of my regular escorts from Philly asked me if he could stay with me for a couple of weeks, so he could “work the town”. The boy, in his early twenties, was drop-dead gorgeous, and we had developed a nice friendship, so I agreed. We didn’t set any “sex ground rules”, except for the prohibition of his bringing tricks at home.

 

It turned out quite well: the boy is probably one of the best house guests I have ever had. He had his own bedroom, but almost every night, when he came back from his hustling, he would take a shower, quietly slip in my bed, naked -oh, that body of his-, generally with a raging hardon -his sexual stamina was overwhelming-, “to cuddle”. He was an awesome kisser and, of course, his night visits usually ended up with us having great sex and sleeping together. I must admit that it was amazing, but exhausting.

 

Our arrangement went from “a couple of weeks” to more than a month. He then went back home and we eventually lost touch. I haven’t heard from him in ages. Oh, the memories.

[The_Impeccable_G]

In the last decade of my working life I got a dog and was living in the house I had bought twenty years earlier. For most of that time I had lived alone but on getting the dog I felt I needed a roommate to have someone around when I wasn’t there. So I offered a room to rent. This was shortly after I had given a room to a dancer I met at a strip club who said he knew my nephew and was looking for a temporary place to stay. This arrangement only lasted a couple of months as there was no sex after the first night and I started to feel like his uncle. One night he borrowed my best sweater without asking me, got something on it and washed in and then threw it in the dryer. This was a Shetland wool sweater from Harrod’s in London. Needless to say when I found it it would have fit a doll. I gave him bus money the next day to return to Toronto, his home town. The roommates I rented my spare room to turned out to be fine. One was an escort (he came in my room one night early on but I told him I didn’t want to alter our relationship) and the others were young guys with jobs (all gay). I on;y had sex with one of them (sort of a spontaneous thing) since he had a boyfriend. The last roommate was learning to be a masseur and would practice on me which was nice as he was the cutest of all. After I retired I sold the house and moved away so no more roommates.

Talking about sweaters and boys, I have a couple from Loro Piana. The blue one is old and has an elbow hole and I don't wear it. He told me it is very nice, and I gave it to him. He got a nice leather patch and wears it happily.

[+ Lucky]

Okay, I once let an aspiring young athlete live with me. He was drop dead gorgeous and insatiable in bed. He would occasionally bring some teammates over for an orgy. Two days, two days!, after he moved in he received a zillion dollar signing bonus along with a huge contract. He has been supporting me ever since! Now that's impeccable!

[marylander1940]

Okay, I once let an aspiring young athlete live with me. He was drop dead gorgeous and insatiable in bed. He would occasionally bring some teammates over for an orgy. Two days, two days!, after he moved in he received a zillion dollar signing bonus along with a huge contract. He has been supporting me ever since! Now that's impeccable!

 

Stories like that (minus the zillion dollar contract and the support) have been posted on here in the SA thread.

[MscleLovr]

I know @Lucky was merely being satirical, and @marylander1940 mentioned the thread about Seeking, but I think there are all sorts of relationships among gay men.

 

Over the years, I’ve heard from friends and boyfriends of the very different arrangements that constitute a relationship. I’ve also learned from various guys at the gym that they have very different views to mine on what defines casual sex or having a fuckbuddy. After all, I was in my early 50s when I first visited Argentina and I was so surprised to find that as an ‘older man’ I was considered attractive. I realised, of course, that having a big thick wallet helped, but it was still shocking (and delightful) to be hit on by younger men in a variety of social situations in that country. Argentina simply has a different culture.

 

So I do certainly think that the range of meetings/dates available on Seeking may appeal to a range of gay men, and I wouldn't discount the experiences some men have related here.

[MikeBiDude]

I know @Lucky was merely being satirical, and @marylander1940 mentioned the thread about Seeking, but I think there are all sorts of relationships among gay men.

 

Over the years, I’ve heard from friends and boyfriends of the very different arrangements that constitute a relationship. I’ve also learned from various guys at the gym that they have very different views to mine on what defines casual sex or having a fuckbuddy. After all, I was in my early 50s when I first visited Argentina and I was so surprised to find that as an ‘older man’ I was considered attractive. I realised, of course, that having a big thick wallet helped, but it was still shocking (and delightful) to be hit on by younger men in a variety of social situations in that country. Argentina simply has a different culture.

 

So I do certainly think that the range of meetings/dates available on Seeking may appeal to a range of gay men, and I wouldn't discount the experiences some men have related here.

This is exactly it....there are a range of ways to meet friends/companions! It’s unfortunate some of us get mocked when we mention success in one area or another....or the veracity of our experiences get challenged!

 

No “pigeonholing” let’s enjoy the plethora of options!

[marylander1940]

This is exactly it....there are a range of ways to meet friends/companions! It’s unfortunate some of us get mocked when we mention success in one area or another....or the veracity of our experiences get challenged!

 

No “pigeonholing” let’s enjoy the plethora of options!

 

Do you think @Lucky was directly mocking you? You "liked" his post, right? Is not clear what you mean by "some of us".

 

I considered some posters like @Gar1eth to be very honest because they share stories about good and bad times and lately great suggestions about food! Others might just embellish what they share for our entertainment.

[+ Reisr30]

I have had similar house-guests in the past @The_Impeccable_G I had great experiences with various young Brazilian models coming to Europe for the first time. Also, I’ve had young Australian, American, Italian, Slovak and Polish house-guests.

 

As @FrankR noted above, it pays to be clear (but not crass) about your expectations. And of course, it’s costly - young men eat lots of good food - and I’d have to buy 2 tickets for trips, concerts etc but I enjoyed their company.

 

I have no problem in being clear and open, but I always resist labels. I was surprised at first at just how readily - without my asking - fit young men (often with girlfriends back home) would join me in bed to express their gratitude for my hospitality in London and Spain.

 

The only times I had problems is when I hadn’t thought to institute a “house-rule” on certain behaviors. I spelled out “no drugs in my house” but I was relaxed about most things. I had to institute a rule of “no female guests overnight” after I encountered one at breakfast. She was the friend of the hot young Brazilian I had staying with me, and after she’d left, I said to him that her presence overnight made me uncomfortable and that he should go to her place for sex in future. He was a thoroughly nice guy and apologized immediately for not asking me first...and that evening as I was reading a book, he came into my room in just his briefs to make sure I was happy with him.

OMG a bit envious. These sorts of things never happen to me...

[Studsearcher]

Over the years I have had a handful of guys express such interest, and I've never taken any up on such an offer, though the ones I’ve had always felt to me like physical intimacy would not be part of the arrangement. One of them reasoned that ‘you’ll get to see me in my speedo all the time.’ Maybe they assumed that because I hired them for a couple hours at a time I must be lonely? (I’m horny not lonely) No thanks!

 

Honestly I just don’t get some of the posts I see about paying guys to party at your mansion, be a guest on a 5 diamond life changing vacation, or covering their room and board when nothing physical is explicitly expected. I guess we all have our own reasons for doing what we do.

[NikoLeto]

Also make sure you understand the personal cost. Not just the expense of having him live with you, food can be expensive if he is bulking and utilities for two can also be more expensive - but also you will have far less privacy, he may want to have friends over when you need peace and quiet.

 

Currently bulking. Can't get out of the grocery store for less than $100. Having to make a trip every 3-5 days. This is the gospel truth.

 

Edit: Healthy calories are expensive.

[The_Impeccable_G]

I know @Lucky was merely being satirical, and @marylander1940 mentioned the thread about Seeking, but I think there are all sorts of relationships among gay men.

 

Over the years, I’ve heard from friends and boyfriends of the very different arrangements that constitute a relationship. I’ve also learned from various guys at the gym that they have very different views to mine on what defines casual sex or having a fuckbuddy. After all, I was in my early 50s when I first visited Argentina and I was so surprised to find that as an ‘older man’ I was considered attractive. I realised, of course, that having a big thick wallet helped, but it was still shocking (and delightful) to be hit on by younger men in a variety of social situations in that country. Argentina simply has a different culture.

 

So I do certainly think that the range of meetings/dates available on Seeking may appeal to a range of gay men, and I wouldn't discount the experiences some men have related here.

As a forty something year old man I walked in a gay bar in South Africa and stared at a gorgeous model (as I learned later). He came straight to me and asked for my phone. I have it to him thinking that he would take it and run away. The boy just entered his name and number in my contacts.

[+ WilliamM]

Do you think @Lucky was directly mocking you? You "liked" his post, right? Is not clear what you mean by "some of us".

 

I considered some posters like @Gar1eth to be very honest because they share stories about good and bad times and lately great suggestions about food! Others might just embellish what they share for our entertainment.

 

Occasionally @Gar1eth even depresses me.

 

Come on, @marylander1940. He isn't a good example

[+ Italiano]

A few moths ago I met this young guy in the apps. Ultra hot, signed fashion model. No money exchanged just a few visits at Hermes... A month ago his parents find out he is gay and make his life miserable. He moves out from family and crushes in my flat for a night or two since June... He is at his final year at a University in my city, so I know he will need to stay for at least the next 9 months. I have mixed feelings about this cohabitation but generally it is ok.

 

I am sure other members are, or have been, in similar situations. I am not asking for advice, but I would love to hear other members experience.

Is he still living with you?

[The_Impeccable_G]

Is he still living with you?

Yes he does.

[+ FrankR]

Yes he does.

Did you learn anything from the experience?? ?

[The_Impeccable_G]

Did you learn anything from the experience?? ?

He became one of my best friends and I will miss him next year when he ll continue his studies at one of the best US universities.