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Being taken advantage of...

rainyday

By rainyday
in Spas & Masseurs

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escortrod Mentor

escortrod

Posted
Posted
I completely understand your point ... and although you are technically correct.... this whole dynamic of specifically requesting sex has ruined the innuendo, and metaphysical aspects of courting that used to make sexual interactions hot.... Now I’ve literally had a guy wanting me to confirm allowing him to fuck me via text... soon we’re going to start issuing permission slips to have sex.. and it’s such a mood killer

I don't think that whispering "want to get fucked?" in the guy's ear needs to ruin the mood. It can be done sexily.

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
Posted

A well-known posted complained about an escort who instead of joining him in the shower in the morning, went to his kitchen and prepare coffee.

 

I believe, the actual complaint was that he made coffee and never came back. At least that was the intent of the post, I have no desire to try and find my post regarding that. However, there really does not seem to be an equivalence in the issues in either case.

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HornyRetiree Mentor

+ HornyRetiree

Posted
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Sounds to me waaay better than a happy ending by hand or oral, but maybe that's my preference.

 

I have had several masseurs fuck me during a session but I signaled willingness:) or had discussed before hand. One was a regular who unfortunately moved and one was an awesome session while I was traveling BUT I had been recommended/introduced by one of his regular clients so he knew I was okay.

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

Posted
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I have had several masseurs fuck me during a session but I signaled willingness:) or had discussed before hand. One was a regular who unfortunately moved and one was an awesome session while I was traveling BUT I had been recommended/introduced by one of his regular clients so he knew I was okay.

 

did you ever say no to any of them because you weren't attracted or they didn't feel like using a condom?

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starman05 Experienced

starman05

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RainyDay, this sounds horrific for you; I"m sorry you went through it. Did the therapist wear a condom at least?

 

A similar thing happened to, I'm going to say, 'a friend of mine' -- when on his back, the therapist hopped up on the table and sat on my friend's condom-less erect dick. "Get OFF; that's not safe!" He got off immediately.

 

This was back in the late 90s or early 2000s and my friend is still healthy so nothing happened, but it was an unnerving experience. Sometimes all somebody wants is a massage and a HE; not full out sex.

 

Can you say whether or not this was in Los Angeles?

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

Posted
Posted
RainyDay, this sounds horrific for you; I"m sorry you went through it. Did the therapist wear a condom at least?

 

A similar thing happened to, I'm going to say, 'a friend of mine' -- when on his back, the therapist hopped up on the table and sat on my friend's condom-less erect dick. "Get OFF; that's not safe!" He got off immediately.

 

This was back in the late 90s or early 2000s and my friend is still healthy so nothing happened, but it was an unnerving experience. Sometimes all somebody wants is a massage and a HE; not full out sex.

 

Can you say whether or not this was in Los Angeles?

 

BB sex at that time was an act of insanity! If folks had kept using condoms till PrEP was around HIV would be almost gone by now.

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starman05 Experienced

starman05

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BB sex at that time was an act of insanity! If folks had kept using condoms till PrEP was around HIV would be almost gone by now.

 

Marylander, I KNOW; I freaked out; the whole thing must have lasted mere seconds, but I couldn't believe he was being so careless; he didn't know my history and I could only guess his. They say it's less risky for the 'top' (though I didn't feel in charge) I couldn't get the guy off me fast enough. (Yeah, it wasn't a friend; it was me).

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

Posted
Posted (edited)
Marylander, I KNOW; I freaked out; the whole thing must have lasted mere seconds, but I couldn't believe he was being so careless; he didn't know my history and I could only guess his. They say it's less risky for the 'top' (though I didn't feel in charge) I couldn't get the guy off me fast enough. (Yeah, it wasn't a friend; it was me).

 

Are you sure he came? Maybe he just faked it.

 

Is it me that all my life I’ve been able to have sex for a long time before coming. How many minute men out there who Cum in 50 seconds?

Edited by marylander1940
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starman05 Experienced

starman05

Posted
Posted

my quote might not have been clear -- I was on my back on the table (at full mast) and HE rode me; slid on so fast I didn't know what was happening until he was ...I guess until I was in him, but I immediately told him to get off and he did. I know it was 'less' risky for me, but I still didn't want it.

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LivingnLA Veteran

LivingnLA

Posted
Posted (edited)

@rainyday, I'm sorry this situation happened. I hope you have someone you can speak with about it or some way to express your thoughts and feelings about it. Don't bottle it up and don't be too hard on yourself. You trusted this guy and he went way too far.

 

To all of you who complain rainy should've just "said no" or "stopped it," please stop. It sounds and feels like victim blaming and shaming.

 

Rainy just had an incredible massage from someone he thought he could trust. He was fully relaxed and had "massage brain." It's completely likely he was mentally "slowed" enough to not be fully engaged and he was also in a very vulnerable position with someone who was "in control" and possibly bigger and stronger. The masseur raped him. Period. Unless there was prior conversation about being topped and Rainy expressed consent, then the masseur raped him. There's no gray area here. The masseur failed in the most fundamental professional way: he assumed he knew what the client wanted and didn't confirm with the client before proceeding. There are many ways to easily & sexily gain consent. The masseur failed to communicate and also engaged in activity that was unsafe and dangerous. That's a clear violation of the power dynamic of the interaction.

 

Rainy, I hope you continue to be completely clean of all STDs and STIs. Given your prior comments, I'm sure you know the testing schedules and when "all clear signs" will happen for the potential infectious agents.

 

Lastly, as some of you may recall, I was drugged and essentially raped during my very first escort hiring experience. I had expressly said no to all drugs and insisted on condoms for safety while also clearly communicating that I was nervous and needed a slow and careful experience. The escort slipped a drug into my beer that resulted in my blacking out for 7 hours, during which time he fucked me at least once. I have no memories from the blacked out time and only know I was fucked because there was blood and pain when I regained consciousness. I bring all of this up, only to say, @rainyday, if you want someone to talk to that may have a similar cluster of thoughts and feelings, then please know you're welcome to privately message me.

Edited by LivingnLA
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MDinNY Enthusiast

MDinNY

Posted
Posted

I’m sorry this happened to you. I sent you a PM. I went into a massage recently and had a similar experience. A lot of folks are commenting on what you should’ve done to prevent it from getting this far... I won’t share my experience since I don’t want the criticism but wanted to at least mention that I was in a similar situation... hopefully this isn’t weighing down on you a lot.

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LivingnLA Veteran

LivingnLA

Posted
Posted
Reading some of these posts just makes me think . . . if you really can't handle this situation, then maybe you shouldn't be seeking a nude massage . . .

 

More victim blaming. Maybe so called "nude massage" providers should respect boundaries and not assault/rape people "because they want it" even though the client never once asked for it.

 

A good massage is very relaxing. People frequently fall asleep during a very good massage. Even if it's nude, that in no way gives the provider permission to penetrate the client in any way with anything without prior clear consent. Any provider who violates a client in that way is committing at least sexual assault and possibly rape.

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BostonTom Rising Star

BostonTom

Posted
Posted

"Victim blaming" . . . is that all you got? Because I think you're selling it in the wrong shop. We're not talking about someone falling asleep. (Although you'd have to be sleeping pretty deeply to not be awakened by anal penetration.) But actually, that's irrelevant, isn't it - it's just troll bait. My advice is that if you're unable to defend yourself from an aroused man, then it's not a good idea to lie down naked in front of one. I'll completely grant you that the masseur was an evil rapist who should be, I don't know, roasted on a spit and then eaten by social justice warriors. But it's still a bad idea to step into a nude massage if you can't handle yourself. I know Blanche Dubois depended on the kindness of strangers. But Blanche Dubois ended up in the nuthouse.

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