Being taken advantage of...

[rainyday]

I recently visited a masseur who checked all my boxes - his website indicated that his sessions incorporated both therapeutic and erotic elements, and I appreciated the thorough description of the service offerings provided on his site. I asked for a 90min therapeutic/erotic massage and booked accordingly.

 

It all started out great - the perfect combination of caring, sensitive and strong touch. The appointment was at night, and the massage room (the guest bedroom in his apartment) was dark with mood lighting; I became comfortable on his massage table very quick as his touch was quite nurturing. After about 20mins, I could feel his penis touching my skin which I was okay with also as he asked if he could be nude upfront. It added to the eroticism of the massage. I noticed that he motioned his penis towards my face a few times, but I was not interested in oral so kept my mouth closed and turned my face in the other direction (I was on my stomach on the table). About 45-50 minutes into the session, he climbed on the massage table and started massaging my back with his entire body - it felt great. I could feel his penis rub against my ass, but it was a light touch so I did not think too much about it. Within a few seconds, however, he was inside me.

 

My eyes opened wide and I froze - I didn't know what to do. I was in a state of shock that he entered me, but also that he was not using a condom. My head started to fill with inner dialogue - what should I do? Is this really happening? Should I say something? Did I miss that intercourse is part of the session? Did I miss this essential factor in the written description on his website? Has he been tested? Should I just keep quiet until he finishes? He offered soft moans in my ear, and he commented on how tight I was and that it felt amazing.

 

He came a short-while later, and finished the session with a hot towel rub down. He offered to jerk me off, but I said I was okay. I showered once the session was over, and left his apartment in a state of nervousness and shame. As I walked to the parking lot, I wondered if I gave him the wrong impression. I was also in pain, like there had been some tearing or scaring of skin tissue around my ass. I just wanted to get home and go to bed.

 

It's been a few months now, and although I crave the intimacy of a non-intercourse erotic massage, I'm still a bit cautious to proceed. I've gone back to the masseur's website a few times now to re-read his session descriptions - there is talk of an 'intimate journey', but that's it. I imagine my reaction to the session was atypical, in that the majority of his clients perhaps want/expect intercourse as part of their 'journey'.

 

Anyway, thought I would share this experience. If anyone has anything similar they would like to share feel free to PM me.

[+ 7829V]

I could feel his penis rub against my ass, but it was a light touch so I did not think too much about it. Within a few seconds, however, he was inside me.

 

This is when you say STOP, then get off the table and leave.

 

Also, you should have taken PEP Post-exposure Prophylaxis and get tested ASAP.

 

If you feel he assaulted you sexually, you can call the police.

 

Seems like this is something I should say to a 18 year old person, but I'm sure you are much older.

[+ FrankR]

I recently visited a masseur who checked all my boxes - his website indicated that his sessions incorporated both therapeutic and erotic elements, and I appreciated the thorough description of the service offerings provided on his site. I asked for a 90min therapeutic/erotic massage and booked accordingly.

 

It all started out great - the perfect combination of caring, sensitive and strong touch. The appointment was at night, and the massage room (the guest bedroom in his apartment) was dark with mood lighting; I became comfortable on his massage table very quick as his touch was quite nurturing. After about 20mins, I could feel his penis touching my skin which I was okay with also as he asked if he could be nude upfront. It added to the eroticism of the massage. I noticed that he motioned his penis towards my face a few times, but I was not interested in oral so kept my mouth closed and turned my face in the other direction (I was on my stomach on the table). About 45-50 minutes into the session, he climbed on the massage table and started massaging my back with his entire body - it felt great. I could feel his penis rub against my ass, but it was a light touch so I did not think too much about it. Within a few seconds, however, he was inside me.

 

My eyes opened wide and I froze - I didn't know what to do. I was in a state of shock that he entered me, but also that he was not using a condom. My head started to fill with inner dialogue - what should I do? Is this really happening? Should I say something? Did I miss that intercourse is part of the session? Did I miss this essential factor in the written description on his website? Has he been tested? Should I just keep quiet until he finishes? He offered soft moans in my ear, and he commented on how tight I was and that it felt amazing.

 

He came a short-while later, and finished the session with a hot towel rub down. He offered to jerk me off, but I said I was okay. I showered once the session was over, and left his apartment in a state of nervousness and shame. As I walked to the parking lot, I wondered if I gave him the wrong impression. I was also in pain, like there had been some tearing or scaring of skin tissue around my ass. I just wanted to get home and go to bed.

 

It's been a few months now, and although I crave the intimacy of a non-intercourse erotic massage, I'm still a bit cautious to proceed. I've gone back to the masseur's website a few times now to re-read his session descriptions - there is talk of an 'intimate journey', but that's it. I imagine my reaction to the session was atypical, in that the majority of his clients perhaps want/expect intercourse as part of their 'journey'.

 

Anyway, thought I would share this experience. If anyone has anything similar they would like to share feel free to PM me.

You always have the right to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’. This is not a typical massage experience. If you have not been tested for STDs recently, I recommend you do so. It does not sound like, nor should you feel like you did anything wrong. The fact that you refused to play when he offered his dick for oral should have been a clear sign to him that you have boundaries. There is a word for sex without conset: rape. The guy took advantage of you. Name him and shame him. Be well.

Edited August 11, 2018 by FrankR

[Chuckball]

The reaction by @rainyday conforms with the position of many who have been sexually assaulted. Did I do something wrong?

I can well understand why he may not want to report the situation but for his psychological well being he needs our support. He didn't do anything wrong. He was taken advantage of.

Hopefully he got tested and all results were negative. Any masseur that would do this is deplorable and should be made to know that others will find out.

Edited August 12, 2018 by Chuckball

[rainyday]

The reaction by @rainyday confirms with the position of many who have been sexually assaulted. Did I do something wrong?

I can well understand why he may not want to report the situation but for his psychological well being he needs our support. He didn't do anything wrong. He was taken advantage of.

Hopefully he got tested and all results were negative. Any masseur that would do this is deplorable and should be made to know that others will find out.

Thanks for your empathetic response @Chuckball. I get tested regularly, and went for testing the day after the incident also.

[+ 7829V]

Thanks for your empathetic response @Chuckball. I get tested regularly, and went for testing the day after the incident also.

No HIV test can detect HIV immediately after infection. ... A nucleic acid test (NAT) can usually tell you if you are infected with HIV 10 to 33 days after an exposure. An antigen/antibody test performed by a laboratory on blood from a vein can usually detect HIV infection 18 to 45 days after an exposure.

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/testing.html

[rainyday]

No HIV test can detect HIV immediately after infection. ... A nucleic acid test (NAT) can usually tell you if you are infected with HIV 10 to 33 days after an exposure. An antigen/antibody test performed by a laboratory on blood from a vein can usually detect HIV infection 18 to 45 days after an exposure.

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/testing.html

I'm sure this is not your intent, but your posts are really not sitting well with me as I'm finding them borderline offensive. I'm fully aware of HIV testing information, and do not require said information bolded. Additionally, your mention of age ('Seems like this is something I should say to a 18 year old person, but I'm sure you are much older...') in your initial post above is entirely irrelevant and comes across as quite judgmental to me. Once again, perhaps this was not your intent but this is the impact your comments are leaving with me, and is the exact reason why some people are reluctant to come forward to share these types of experiences. I posted this information in the forum to share my experience, and also let others who may have had similar experiences know they are not alone. I respectfully ask that you reflect on this information and think twice before you make similar posts in the future.

[+ 7829V]

I'm sure this is not your intent, but your posts are really not sitting well with me as I'm finding them borderline offensive. I'm fully aware of HIV testing information, and do not require said information bolded. Additionally, your mention of age ('Seems like this is something I should say to a 18 year old person, but I'm sure you are much older...') in your initial post above is entirely irrelevant and comes across as quite judgmental to me. Once again, perhaps this was not your intent but this is the impact your comments are leaving with me, and is the exact reason why some people are reluctant to come forward to share these types of experiences. I posted this information in the forum to share my experience, and also let others who may have had similar experiences know they are not alone. I respectfully ask that you reflect on this information and think twice before you make similar posts in the future.

 

1. I didn’t bold any info. It is how google presented the summary in the search results. I’m on mobile now. Just copied and pasted. I didn’t have the time to edit. Yes the bolding it’s weird and overused. Not my choice.

 

2. Thank you for expressing how you feel and letting me know that my comments do not make you feel comfortable. It’s always good to voice your opinion on how you feel so the other person knows that it’s making you uncomfortable. When you do this the other person usually apologizes and stops the behavior that you don’t like. It usually works. Look:

 

@rainyday I’m sorry my posts made you feel uncomfortable. It was not my intention. I’ll make sure it does not happen again. Hope you feel better and that you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

[Guest fm0322]

The reaction by @rainyday conforms with the position of many who have been sexually assaulted. Did I do something wrong?

I can well understand why he may not want to report the situation but for his psychological well being he needs our support. He didn't do anything wrong. He was taken advantage of.

 

@rainyday: Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope you will consider sharing the name of the masseur - if only to help others to avoid him. It has taken me time to decide to post because I found your report deeply disturbing.

 

I was sexually abused by a family member for a few years. I worked out the damage in therapy and mostly I'm fine. I'm sexually active and love having sex. But, I identify with the feeling of being penetrated and feeling helpless to get out of it. In the moment, escaping is impossible. Afterward, like you experienced, I had an overwhelming feeling of responsibility and shame. And - since it wasn't consensual - it hurts like hell. For me, it made me wary of sex with anyone for years. IMHO, even the most resilient person needs to tell someone and work it out. I am sorry for your experience but happy you shared it. I hope you are okay.

 

The truth is, in a massage situation, we are vulnerable. We get naked, lay on a table, and surrender ourself to a massage therapist. If that person lacks integrity, we could be harmed like you were. I love sensual/erotic massage but only when the ground rules are clear. Yet, even with clear rules, we cannot control the person we trusted like you described. There were ground rules in your description, you communicated clearly, and still got used. Your post brought back some memories and another reminder to be careful.

 

This forum is great for parsing out masseurs who are fakes, have poor technique, smell bad, and whatever - warning others about a masseur who has the capacity to harm others is important too.

Edited August 12, 2018 by fm0322

[BostonTom]

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience - but I would just like to add that the bottom line is that in the future you know what to do if a masseur gets too aggressive, right? I mean (let's be honest) plenty of masseurs charge extra for performing exactly what you're describing . . . just as an example, when I recently put up a sarcastic post about a masseur who seemed to think the massage I paid for was going to be centered around me sucking HIM, I got plenty of responses asking, "Who is he??? Do you think he'll do me the same favor???" So . . . this is the environment of gay massage. It just IS. So in future, if things are headed in a direction you're not comfortable with, you can't "freeze." You have to have a plan, and you have to take action - as in clearly say "No," and if the masseur persists, get off the massage table and put on your clothes and leave without paying. And if the behavior amounted to assault, go to the police.

[bnm73]

...and don't forget to leave a review on daddy's to warn others.

[Monarchy79]

I know I’m going to get scolded for this... so I’ll first say that I’m truly sorry for the poster’s experience.

 

I would like to emphasize the importance of clarity and saying “NO”.

 

This whole massage/masseur thing is complex, specifically because the MTs have to give and read queues from the client, especially with more sensual aspects of massage, when YMMV is involved.

 

With a single MT, he has a variety of clients, some who probably are begging for the massage to go into full on sex, others who want none at all, and others who want something in between.

 

I’ve had instances where the massage got erotic, we’re both oiled up, and he started “knocking at the door”, and as that door was opening up... I immediately locked that door up “kegels”, lifted my head out of that headrest and told him “no thanks”, and the massage continued and was a lot of fun.

 

I’m not at all blaming the victim, but I want to also make clear that there are two sides of this interaction... this MT may have been reading your queues as passive acceptance...

 

It’s easy to call someone a rapist because you didn’t want it... but how are they supposed to know you didn’t want it, if you didn’t tell them “No”?

 

Again, I want to reiterate that I am in no way shaming the poster.

[bnm73]

 

It’s easy to call someone a rapist because you didn’t want it...

 

That -- literally -- is what a rapist is.

[Redwine56]

That -- literally -- is what a rapist is.

Every poster here brings up excellent points that we could sit around and deliberate for hours and I believe that everyone is well intentioned with their comments. First off, I can truly sympathize with the position rainyday was in. It sounded as if for all intents and puposes, he was truly relaxed, the masseur provided the perfect setting, the message was nearing the hour mark, so he was totally unprepared for what was coming. What I find most troubling is that not only did the masseur take advantage of the situation to satisfy his own selfish desires but he had the audacity to do it unprotected. How many others has he done this to? It appears that rainyday is located in Canada. If this was not a traveling masseur, I would be so curious to know what other clients of this masseur have experienced. As we always say, YMMV but this is extreme.

[marylander1940]

I recently visited a masseur who checked all my boxes - his website indicated that his sessions incorporated both therapeutic and erotic elements, and I appreciated the thorough description of the service offerings provided on his site. I asked for a 90min therapeutic/erotic massage and booked accordingly.

 

It all started out great - the perfect combination of caring, sensitive and strong touch. The appointment was at night, and the massage room (the guest bedroom in his apartment) was dark with mood lighting; I became comfortable on his massage table very quick as his touch was quite nurturing. After about 20mins, I could feel his penis touching my skin which I was okay with also as he asked if he could be nude upfront. It added to the eroticism of the massage. I noticed that he motioned his penis towards my face a few times, but I was not interested in oral so kept my mouth closed and turned my face in the other direction (I was on my stomach on the table). About 45-50 minutes into the session, he climbed on the massage table and started massaging my back with his entire body - it felt great. I could feel his penis rub against my ass, but it was a light touch so I did not think too much about it. Within a few seconds, however, he was inside me.

 

My eyes opened wide and I froze - I didn't know what to do. I was in a state of shock that he entered me, but also that he was not using a condom. My head started to fill with inner dialogue - what should I do? Is this really happening? Should I say something? Did I miss that intercourse is part of the session? Did I miss this essential factor in the written description on his website? Has he been tested? Should I just keep quiet until he finishes? He offered soft moans in my ear, and he commented on how tight I was and that it felt amazing.

 

He came a short-while later, and finished the session with a hot towel rub down. He offered to jerk me off, but I said I was okay. I showered once the session was over, and left his apartment in a state of nervousness and shame. As I walked to the parking lot, I wondered if I gave him the wrong impression. I was also in pain, like there had been some tearing or scaring of skin tissue around my ass. I just wanted to get home and go to bed.

 

It's been a few months now, and although I crave the intimacy of a non-intercourse erotic massage, I'm still a bit cautious to proceed. I've gone back to the masseur's website a few times now to re-read his session descriptions - there is talk of an 'intimate journey', but that's it. I imagine my reaction to the session was atypical, in that the majority of his clients perhaps want/expect intercourse as part of their 'journey'.

 

Anyway, thought I would share this experience. If anyone has anything similar they would like to share feel free to PM me.

 

Dude, you got raped by him.

 

If you review him a lot of guys on here will hire him and expect the same, paying a masseur while getting the services of a BB escort.

 

(that ain't sarcasm)

[marylander1940]

...and don't forget to leave a review on daddy's to warn others.

 

Warn?

 

I'm sure he's been flooded by folks asking who is him... to hire him!

 

I don't know the stats of the OP/client, some might get disappointed the masseur (technically an escort) doesn't fuck them BB for the price of a massage and demand him to do it. Maybe he ain't tempted by all.

 

[bnm73]

Warn?

 

I'm sure he's been flooded by folks asking who is him... to hire him!

 

Meanwhile he goes on raping other people looking only for a massage? People not looking to get fucked and bred need to know not to hire someone who will do it without asking/discussing it and whether you want to or not.

 

I can see the point you're making, and there is some merit to it...but it's not the course of action that I would take. Rapists count on their victims keeping silent.

[Monarchy79]

That -- literally -- is what a rapist is.

Ummm please add

That -- literally -- is what a rapist is.

funny how you cleverly omitted the rest of my sentence.....

[bnm73]

Ummm please add

 

funny how you cleverly omitted the rest of my sentence.....

 

The rest of your sentence was irrelevant, to be perfectly honest. It's a rationalization that doesn't disguise the fact of fucking an unwilling person. It's the same kind of rationalization given by people who fuck the unconscious without their consent...."they didn't say no..."

 

The guy shoved his dick into someone who gave no indication that he wanted to do that. Why would anyone assume that it's o.k. to fuck someone who 1) doesn't want to be fucked, 2) isn't asked whether he wants to fuck, and 3) has paid for services that DON'T include fucking?

[Monarchy79]

That -- literally -- is what a rapist is.

 

That’s literally what is when the victim says “NO”.

 

Otherwise, is a person supposed to be psychic?

 

That -- literally -- is what a rapist is.

is

[marylander1940]

Meanwhile he goes on raping other people looking only for a massage? People not looking to get fucked and bred need to know not to hire someone who will do it without asking/discussing it and whether you want to or not.

 

I'm aware of folks keeping up kissing with an escort who has bad breath and I'm still taken aback by it... I understand good manners but c'mon take mouthwash or something and yet so many complained after it happened that a guy's breath wasn't clean... but taking a cock up your butt without saying NO. Gimme a break.

 

"My eyes opened wide and I froze - I didn't know what to do. I was in a state of shock that he entered me, but also that he was not using a condom. My head started to fill with inner dialogue - what should I do? Is this really happening? Should I say something? Did I miss that intercourse is part of the session? Did I miss this essential factor in the written description on his website? Has he been tested? Should I just keep quiet until he finishes? He offered soft moans in my ear, and he commented on how tight I was and that it felt amazing."

 

Plenty of time to say NO or move your body away to avoid the sex.

 

Typing this post by the PM took longer than that fuck, possibly took longer than the 45 minutes of massage.

 

I look forward to watching the lifetime movie: "Raped by a masseur", or "He almost said no".

 

Before some of yinz say I'm giving tough medicine, take a look at the many times I brought the subject of rape to this forum.

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/tags/rape/

 

I can see the point you're making, and there is some merit to it...but it's not the course of action that I would take. Rapists count on their victims keeping silent.

 

if the OP reviews him the guy will be flooded by requests but some (considering he cums so fast) might just ask him to blow him and be fed. I think this sounds mostly like a porno fantasy.

 

Folks who hire a masseur do it expecting a massage and a jerk off or oral, a cheap fuck. That's all!

[Monarchy79]

The rest of your sentence was irrelevant, to be perfectly honest. It's a rationalization that doesn't disguise the fact of fucking an unwilling person. It's the same kind of rationalization given by people who fuck the unconscious without their consent...."they didn't say no..."

 

The guy shoved his dick into someone who gave no indication that he wanted to do that. Why would anyone assume that it's o.k. to fuck someone who 1) doesn't want to be fucked, 2) isn't asked whether he wants to fuck, and 3) has paid for services that DON'T include fucking?

You’re comparing a totally coherent person (who can verbalize their wants), to a victim who is drunk, intoxicated, drugged , comatose!?!

 

Please!!!

 

My entire sentence was relevant, yet your purposefully omitted it to make your irrelevant point valid.

 

It’s quite easy to go around screaming “rape”, without knowing all of the details... the poster clearly stated that the guy was on top of him, and he was already near his butt, massaging him and prodding before putting it in....everyone who has sex, doesn’t make a person sign a permission slip to do it... just like in many Human interactions, nature takes its course and Moves into that.... (i.e. all of the foreplay that leads to sex)....

 

So don’t sit up here typing all of that self-righteous bulllshit, to validate your sarcastic, smug, obnoxious ass!!!!

[escortrod]

That’s literally what is when the victim says “NO”.

 

Otherwise, is a person supposed to be psychic?

 

 

is

 

The word 'no' does not have to be used for a rape to have occurred. For sex not to be rape the receptive partner must consent. That consent can be implied, but not simply assumed. The other person doesn't need to be psychic; he can ask!

[marylander1940]

That’s literally what is when the victim says “NO”.

 

Otherwise, is a person supposed to be psychic?

 

 

is

 

Unless intoxicated the OP could and should have said no to something unwanted, unrequested, painful and dangerous. I agree with you @Monarchy79 !

 

You'd be amazed how folks whine and bitch on here about an escort not being able to read their minds.

 

A well-known posted complained about an escort who instead of joining him in the shower in the morning, went to his kitchen and prepare coffee.

 

The word 'no' does not have to be used for a rape to have occurred. For sex not to be rape the receptive partner must consent. That consent can be implied, but not simply assumed. The other person doesn't need to be psychic; he can ask!

 

part of the idea of the massage is getting sex for less money, most masseurs expect a HE for the client and he did ask for that after he fucked the client who didn't say no.

 

I'm sure you here in the U.S.A. get calls for an erotic massage and they ask "how big is your cock?", "will you be naked during the whole massage session?". etc.

[Monarchy79]

The word 'no' does not have to be used for a rape to have occurred. For sex not to be rape the receptive partner must consent. That consent can be implied, but not simply assumed. The other person doesn't need to be psychic; he can ask!

 

 

I completely understand your point ... and although you are technically correct.... this whole dynamic of specifically requesting sex has ruined the innuendo, and metaphysical aspects of courting that used to make sexual interactions hot.... Now I’ve literally had a guy wanting me to confirm allowing him to fuck me via text... soon we’re going to start issuing permission slips to have sex.. and it’s such a mood killer