JB_Studio38

I was happy to come out to San Diego area to get a break from the dreary Midwest winter. Been able to stay in the area temporarily, so it’s been a bit longer than previous trips where I was in/out within a couple or so days. This time it’s been a couple weeks. I won’t say the area “sucks” or that I haven’t met some fun clients. However, I just find it very challenging to work out here. For one: inquiries here have been numerous, but irregular. Many replies go unresponsive. It’s not been “slow” but it’s been slow in the amount of serious people out here. I’ve also been doing mainly outcalls, because I’m staying “remotely” at a friend’s house, so I’m not just draining money on these expensive hotels everyday waiting for calls: but I have figured out which hotels/air bnbs in town I’d like to stay if I do get a booking to host: Except all my serious bookings have been Outcalls, and the ones trying to get me to host have not been reliable, so end up not meeting. At this point, I’m just feeling over it. I been eagerly needing to escape my horrid home area market which has almost put me out of commission. This is still better than that, because at least I’m getting calls…But the turnover has been high. Not to mention it’s so expensive here, I can’t even get into a decent hotel to host. Even with AAA, points, and 3rd party discount sites: I’ve not found a way to justify dropping a load of money on a room. In fact I did that last week for 2 nights: nobody showed up or followed directions. Just wasted money. Hopefully the weekend brings about better results. It seems most of my bookings have been then. But overall, it’s been a nice stay, though much more riff raff than desired.

In your defense, it sounds definitely like a bad batch…but I’ve seen first hand situations where clients have told me about getting burned, and then I see why. I had to tell one guy who kept having unfortunate luck with guys he was flying in: don’t be flying in escorts you haven’t met yet. I know people do it but, at the end of the day you don’t them and they don’t know you. The was pretty jaded but I’m like: RentMen isn’t as professional as one may think. They aren’t an employer and we don’t have bosses to report to so, each person is going to have their own definition of doing biz. I don’t let clients fly me in, I go on tour or will plan a visit to a city with a deposit…but providing my own transportation and accommodations. If it’s small market, they’ll be my only client but larger markets I’ll try to stick around and book others. Now earlier tonight I did see someone without a deposit: but it was an Outcall and the guy was pretty adamant he didn’t know how to do it (only God knows, right?) In which case, I made an exception. However…most times my intuition steers me in the right direction, and so many people want bookings but don’t want to confirm with deposits. I was watching a news segment earlier about employees and the changing workforce, and someone said, employees don’t want to work the way they used to (before Covid). They want work from home/this and that etc etc. And I’m feeling the same way. I don’t want to keep doing it like I did back in 2015. My face is there, my nudes is there, my reviews are there, everything is there. For some faceless, anonymous, can’t write in complete sentence fucking guy to tell me “he’s not comfortable” or “Doesn’t do Deposits” Is bullshit. Guys have to learn to approach each provider differently. Saying someone is a scam or thinking they are a scam because of a deposit, is like me saying a client is likely scam because they want me to host, or want late night, or ask my rates on RentMasseur despite it being displayed. I’m sure most wouldn’t think of that being very nice. So likewise, can’t say someone asking deposits is either.

Mine isn’t a sob story. It’s just a reinforcement bulletin for myself and to others about what usually happens when allowing people to get around deposits. Clients here have lots of stories, but no messages screenshot. I’m actually SHOWING what happens. Maybe he blocked you because you only sent $40 instead of $60? I mean…I wouldn’t do that personally but perhaps it just set the wrong tone. Now: going back to hotels. I disagree. I actually just sent a hotel an email because they wanted to charge me a $100 deposit to check in, when on their site it says nothing to the effect. So I walked away and they tried to charge me for a night. I explained that their site only showed deposit for pets or cash paying customers. I think it’s discrimination. Here’s a screenshot of the hotel details highlighting what their deposit was asked for. So why the fuck they want me to pay $100 deposit? I have no pets and was paying with card. It’s bullshit. But that’s also why I charge higher deposits to host. When I have to book a room when traveling, I have to ensure my hotel account has enough to cover room and possible deposit before I even get paid. And lately seems most clients can’t host and few if any are at hotels anymore. It was much easier not to ask for deposits when more clients hosted the booking! Like I said: the game is, anytime someone talks smack about a deposit…I’ll show an example of someone who reached out to me, and didn’t respond to my request to send a deposit: and then had a long list of warnings by other providers. It’s like, put 2 and 2 together. Am I more worried about offending guys with a deposit, or do I need to make sure I don’t end up broke because I’m spending my own $$$ upfront for guys who may have no intent of following thru? I’m not here to change the world. I’m just sharing my experience and observations. And FYI: just today I asked for $25 deposit, and guy sent my full donation. I didn’t ask for it, and since it was late at night: If I was a shitty person, I could have just blocked him, went to bed and put my phone on silent 😴 But with integrity, I got dressed and drove 25 minutes across the city at midnight. It was fun, but…it wasn’t quite the type of session I normally engage in, But I performed duty as to not ruin the world’s perception of sending a sex worker funds to confirm I’m legit.

You have to be able to decipher to difference. I have had some straight up (as in this message) say, “but I’m not going to go to your site and send anything”. You don’t walk into someone’s store and start saying what you’re not going to do. You’re bossing me around. Get out…Especially if it says it on the ad or profile. Like one guy said to me: If he was really serious, why would he go from messaging me on Adam where I have my number and sent my business card, to messaging me at the Thrift Store of hookup apps? (And anytime I find a client picking around in the bargain bin…I wonder if he’s serious or is he hoping to find it for free and just keeping me on standby). It’s all about respect. But sadly, I think too many people are bent on trying to win versus respecting another’s way of doing things. They allow fear and control to rule their approach, versus trying to be amicable and trust the person at hand.

Well, welcome to Man Diego (and many other cities that seem to have a steady influx of men/providers). This is how most “clients” (using that loosely) approach for now. Similar to how guys on apps say hello by sending 10 pictures of their dick and ass from various angles… I knew the above guy was full of it. But I just keep the conversation professional and automated: at the recommendation of other forum members: let someone handle my inquiries. And I am: it’s my handy pre-written iPhone templates. It’s free and nobody else has to be bothered. You’re viewing it from a general standpoint that is not directly related to sending a specific provider a deposit to confirm. There’s a reason why there’s RFID protection wallets, it could happen anywhere. Please don’t rely anecdotes as a reason against it. And as mentioned, since you’re defending not paying deposit: I win this round by showing what could happen when one doesn’t 😉 That’s one thing I can say good has come out of it all: not to be “that” customer. Not that I won’t speak up if I feel I was over charged or getting subpar treatment, but I’m not going to make a fuss unnecessarily. Sorry that you been scammed and had someone high on drugs. Like I often say, for every 1 time a client has been scammed, I could probably name 10. And unlike you and as @Jamie21 I can’t afford to be scammed because my overheads and expenses are high. This client showing up with no money, left me out of my room cost for the day and the money for the session. And after an already challenging week of inquiries, that put me in a very compromising position for the rest of the weekend, and I have begun to see how hard it is in this area of California to get clients to follow thru AND host. So since the hotel prices are high and I don’t have extra funds to gamble on a room again, just to sit around and wait for nobody to show up…so I’m only doing Outcalls. And the other day that I had a room, a client was asking to meet but then says, “I was hoping you were hosting at the casino (where in the Sandhill he came up with this assumption idk). Then he’s all like, “I can’t travel, I’m here with some friends I’ll let you know if I can meet” Meanwhile I’m trying to leave my fucking room so I can drive an hour to another town to get something accomplished by 6 p.m. That’s another reason I ask for deposit because when I’m about to go somewhere or do something, I need to know the person is worth me dropping or changing what I’m doing to entertain them. Otherwise I’m going to waste my whole day, week and LIFE waiting around for nothing. And I’ve heard stories of guys doing that: going to cities and waiting in the hotel day and night and getting nothing accomplished. When I’m out of town I have limited time at the hotel, and limited time to wait on them to make up their mind. In times I need to focus on other things and a client wants to text, I will send my deposit link and ask them to send within 10 minutes if they want to meet…otherwise I will not be available.

That’s the thing: I told him, go downstairs there’s an ATM there. He claims he already took the money out, but left it on the bed at home, and he didn’t have anymore to take out. I doubt his story added up. I think he came expecting to pull a fast one. Because he should have either come back in the morning or replied when I asked him for the cancellation fee payment. #1 yes #2 no #3 no Anyhow. I want to play a game. For each time someone argues against a deposit, I’m going to post an “anonymous” warning report from OTHER providers about a client who has actually contacted me. And include what happened when I asked for a deposit. If I run out of messages from guys who have multiple warnings, YOU WIN. (Hint, I have like a long list of them, so this game could be long 😆 Thankyou 💯 percent! I’ve come to the point where just having to realize the ones who can’t part with a deposit, are operating on control and fear and it’s not somebody I want to deal with. Or they are just using us for attention and entertainment. Unfortunately it seems the vast majority of people who contact are operating in this mindset. This is really pushing me to limit my interactions with most and start charging a rate that’s going to get me thru the week. Whether that be $500 or $1,000 per appointment. I’m not making any profit charging $250-300 when 90 % of calls are bullshitters. I’ve talked about this before, and now it’s time to start making it happen. I’m not just someone who’s in between jobs or needs extra money on the side. This is my LIFE (not yelling at you, just in general). I don’t have time to be playing childish games with dudes anymore. I’m over 1,500 miles from my home base, and dealing with a bunch of fucking idiots day in/day out. It has to stop. Case in point:

And that’s your personal choice to do. Listen: I’ve been counseling a friend of mine getting that same point across, you can’t make anyone do something they don’t want to do. Likewise, you can’t really expect some to do business the way you want it either. You may never pay a deposit, but 98% of my bookings are from seeing clients who do deposits. So, it’s all subjective. However, I decided instead of trying to squeeze blood from a bunch of turnips, it’s better I just once again only respond to clients who can follow instructions and don’t create reasons in their heads to argue over deposits. Because as I just described: non of that is EVER with good intent. Because you basically telling me: 1. You don’t trust me 2. You don’t want to pay me 3. I shouldn’t make plans for you That guy is lucky I found out from the start he didn’t have the money. I woulda fucking killed him right in this hotel room. It would have been a forensic files case in small town California 😆 I haven’t had that happen in years, something gut feeling told me: make sure you ask the money upfront. And sure enough: I was right. He was just weirdo all the way around. What makes it so bad is I moved a meet with a guy I really liked (off clock meet) who I had met last night thinking I was going to have a booking. Then when the idiot was kicked out, I couldn’t reach the other guy because I told him I was expecting a client and wouldn’t be available unless he flaked 😤 So that in itself is highly inconvenient. That’s exactly why I don’t deal without deposits because it has the potential to affect up my entire evening if they decide to play bi-polar and not go thru.

This is what it means when people take kindness for weakness. This person was scheduled to book for the evening since earlier today. He shows up, and before we get started I ask to settle up and he says he forgot the money at home. Like literally didn’t seem coherent to the fact that nothing is going to happen unless I receive the payment. He was “embarrassed” and apologetic, but couldn’t go to the atm to get more because that’s all he had. People want to keep giving these sob stories of being ripped off or not feeling comfortable, but yet do the very things that compel me to have to ask for it to begin with. They afraid of deposits, but then do moves to inconvenience and waste others time. But jokes on him because apparently he drove 45 minutes across the valley in California at night. I sent his ass right back out the door 🥾 People expect me to trust them more who only have 1 picture, or no picture at all: versus me with references and reviews. How does that work? It doesn’t… People have to understand: no matter how much another escort has ripped you off, or failed to deliver…Some of us still have to stand our ground regardless. I also think people may just be getting generally shittier in the country too because, most every hotel I go to also wants deposits as well. Even your run of the mill budget chains. $100 ON TOP of what I’m already paying. That’s like me asking a client to send $100 on top of my rate, and then say I’m going to give it back. And since I’m a full time traveling provider, that puts even more onus on me to collect deposits because it’s not just the cost of room I have to front and possibly lose, but the hotel deposit out of pocket as well. If I have to continue to fight this much, I’m just going to stop touring and hosting. They’re going to need to have everything set up, and it’s not going to be what I’m charging now.

That’s how I feel. Which is also why I throw out the Sharon Osborne “educate me” line, tongue in cheek of course. People criticize someone’s way of doing things, before being educated on why it’s that way to begin with. I wouldn’t even want that. Had a client who was wanting to see me all the time in Kansas City, and I told him: I’m not making what I need to support myself here. The more you want to see me, the more time I’m having to remain in the area.” Time that I can spend traveling and going to cities where I can actually be busy instead of sitting around wondering what’s wrong with me. He was supportive in helping with my bills, but then that started developing into a “I do this and that so I own your schedule” mentality. And when I let him know otherwise, things quickly fell off. Even though it was upsetting, I was able to focus back on travels and now I’m half way across the country in California, enjoying the beautiful Pacific Ocean air just walking distance away. Not sitting around dependent on 1 person’s visits to make ends. I don’t want to be reliant on 1 client or “sugar daddy”. I know that’s not what you meant, but I’m just further adding that I agree with you lol.

Well hopefully there will be better circumstances going forward… But all I’m trying to say is: the standard should be the same when a client scams off a provider as well. Without people saying, “you can’t do that!” Blah blah blah…

Well post the fucking messages then. I do it all the time. Educate us and show exactly how it went down….

That would be if you 100% without shadow of a doubt had evidence that they intentionally scammed you. Which based on what you stated, is not necessarily 100%. Everything could have happened as stated, with some variations of the facts. But it would be not much different than an escort outing or messing with a client…and we all know how much the board guys frown on those providers who do that. At least you got your refund and on your way. Not sure what point there is to further entice penalizing them? Seems like overkill..

This is an unfortunate situation but: I am a provider who asks partials upfront and most recently, pretty much for all bookings. I post on RentMasseur at well under https://rentmasseur.com/Jarrods_NudeRubs/ The difference with me is, I didn’t start off asking for them…I had built reviews over time. And that’s just the RentMasseur ones. I have more on RentMen. However it’s not just reviews. Do these people have website, business cards to show? These are all things I offer. Clients talk about being burned but, is there much effort into screening/research? I get texts by scammers WEEKLY. Either sugar daddy scams, and now portrait painting scams, and of course prospects who bail. I am currently on tour and even though I had a hard time getting clients to confirm with deposits on my previous tour, I’ve had several with no issues doing so. In fact been quite happily busy. I simply couldn’t keep spending hundreds on hotels and travel, going to cities and getting flaked or cancelled on. In fact, I had that on the first leg of my current trip I was going to, and the client actually sent a deposit. It was an area 90 miles from home. He had to cancel for the next day, due to an emergency. Which is understandable. But I went out of my way, moving my travels a day earlier: to accommodate what should have been a 2 hour session. Since it was too late to turn back around, I checked in to my suite anyway. Unfortunately I can’t tell the hotel staff to refund me, or take gas out of my tank and get a refund when client’s have such events happen. It sucks that people imitate those who genuinely stand by their deposits. But just have to be more vigilant. Don’t just look at pictures and contact info. Make sure 2 and 2 goes together. $175 deposit why? I would have a valid reason to give to the client.

Men4Rentnow I believe was where it began. Though I never understood Men4sex now? Was it supposed to be a free hookup app? That said: I noticed a situation not long ago where it seemed like 2 clients met each other on one of the sites. Not trying to say it’s the worst thing but: can anyone attest to “clients” having inadvertently finding and hooking up with each other instead of booking a provider? lol.

Sometimes even just superbowl day itself brings out the BS. I was in Milwaukee and had like 3-4 hits for people requesting bookings and nobody panned out. Threw me off so much, I took my number down the day after and right thru Valentine’s Day because I couldn’t be bothered. Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day two days apart was a double edge sword for biz. Some were feeling horny, others just lonely. Thankfully had a couple regulars that week and was out of Missouri because I know it woulda been disaster. Everybody else was just using RM for attention.

Yeah, I don’t necessarily keep up with such events…but sometimes I’ll be in a city, and the room goes up by 100. And I may ask the staff what’s going on in town. I know during the summer in many cities, weddings, graduations and concerts were especially problematic for booking weekend hotels. Most meverything would be sold out or higher. I’ve mostly stopped hosting in my local area because I don’t get the amount of bookings I want in a day anyway to justify the nightly hotel prices. And it’s always people wanting last minute, out the blue… so hard to book in advance.

With the recent sporting games going on lately (Super Bowl in Phoenix and NBA all stars in Salt Lake City), does anyone have a preference for chasing such events? I sure wish I was able to be in either city, however I just wasn’t in the position to travel that far this month. I often hear about such events bringing in a surplus of visitors to a city, but the drawback is the search for hotels amid the inflated prices. In SLC I was seeing downtown hotels going for $500-$600 a night, with the surrounding burbs in the $200-$300 range. Hotels are like the #1 arch nemesis of trying to be in a city during a major event. They don’t want to check anyone in early or late, and sometimes I’ve had to change rooms because the one I was in was booked the next day. Anytime there’s a “group” of guests coming to a hotel, staff seem to get pretty nasty and inflexible. It would be great in a perfect world if they only raise the prices for people who actually wanted to attend such events, because why should someone who’s just passing thru town be subject to such rate hikes 🤷🏾‍♂️ (goes back to what I was saying about escorts also changing our rates to compensate such things) But otherwise, they sound like such great propositions for mass amounts of revenue. I just don’t really get the memo for these things at the right times. A friend of mine suggested staying somewhere budget and just doing Outcalls. But it’s no secret that sometimes one ends up with everyone wanting the provider to host. And I know staying in a dingy hotel (though if I go that route, it’ll be something with a name brand is usually safer than the “20th street motel” or like places in Florida do: “The Shady Palm motel, just 10 minutes from the beach 😷. Yeah right) in a sketchy area isn’t really the greatest impression to give. At the same time, many clients seem fine with just a bed and shower at the end of the day. However it’s not necessarily ideal for me.

This is kind of the conundrum with Missouri. St. Louis lost their Rams, and now Kansas City is the only pro football team in the state. Kansas City and St. Louis have this weird rivalry against each other. Similar to Miami and Tampa when I lived in Florida. But both cities have their own team. Even Jacksonville had to get the Jaguars. They could just rename them “Missouri Chiefs” But Kansas City would protect that name forever, plus it would alienate the Kansas market (the stadium is in Missouri). The chiefs will not be branded as a universal St. Louis/KC team. Also St. Louis folk seem more into the cardinals baseball, at least now. But they did make headlines being the 1st team with openly gay player, Sam what’s his name. But they failed the city by moving it to Los Angeles. It would be nice if the revenue generated by the Kansas City brings in more business, but lately it’s been void and hasn’t brought in any extra prospects. Perhaps it’ll come after the fact.

Hmm, not quite. Prostitute is an outdated word to be honest. Nobody says or calls themselves that much anymore. Prostitute has been stereotyped and stigmatized to death by Hollywood and the news media to imply a drug addicted, abuse fleeing, street soliciting person who needs “help”. Never claim that escorts are prostitutes. Words to describe people change and become defunct over time. It’s 2023. Not 1993. Similar to words like “Negro” to reference blacks which has been outdated (even though we still haven’t gotten to fix calling presidents, quarterbacks and TV stars who have 1 Black parent and 1 White parent: “Black”, but that’s another topic for another thread) Also nobody well intentioned beyond gays themselves in a catty, joking manner would call gays “homos” or “homosexuals” regardless of what the fuck the dictionary actually says it is. Trust me: it’s very Black and White. And victims of trafficking are not escorts or sex workers. So for lobbyists to throw the book and the baby out with the bath water, is partly why society in this country can’t get it right. Because people want to perpetuate some definition created by people from 100 years ago, versus asking people individually what they consider themselves.

I still feel sex worker would still be the general umbrella term.

Great interpretation… The only alternative I can think of, is perhaps if it’s an out of town client. I’ve hung out with a few even from the forum who meet off clock: and it can be helpful because sometimes I don’t have time to find people to do things with. So in that case I don’t mind. And some regulars have offered extra rooms in their place as well, which can be helpful in between days I have bookings. I still know a couple I know who would let me stay in their bed&breakfast for 2-3 nights off clock. But they were pretty easy, paid for a visit, go to dinner, and by 9 they’d be in bed lol. Made for great photo shoots and overall meditative deep thinking since it was in the mountains. It’s just when it comes to local meets and then it starts becoming a regular thing. That’s where things tend to get a bit dicey. In this particular case, since I’m local, the guy was wanting to see me very often which I think created this “idea” of something. If I’m just visiting 2-3 days, they may not see me again until 2 years later.

Read below 🙃 But see, that’s the thing my regular said when we were discussing the situation. He was like, “I thought we were friends” and something like he didn’t know I was on clock the whole time, something of that effect. I’m like, I wasn’t on clock the whole time…but I told him TECHNICALLY if I was being a by the book escort: I would be charging him for every hour that we spend together. Somehow, he had a definition that I was his “friend” that he could also pay for “the S word” when he wanted to. But in between, he was buying me birthday and Christmas gifts, and taking out to dinners: Sooo, I did acknowledge that there was a “relationship” going. But not one that involved a commitment. Of course any kind of regular interaction with another human, is a relationship technically. I think people call things “friends” a lot but that definition needs to not be used to describe sexual situations. You can’t be friends and have sex. Can we invent another word for it? People either use friends to mean “I can do whatever I want” or “we’re dating but not exclusive”. Which the latter is what I believe was being expected. That we were dating but not exclusive. This is also why I prefer to be in a relationship when escorting (surprise surprise, right?). If I was playing by the book, and was involved with someone: I may have said “thanks, but I can’t accept this”. But being single, I don’t mind accepting such gestures. Also I find married and previously divorced men tend to understand these things a bit more. They can do things with less expectations because they already know, unless you married or engaged…there’s no need to assume a situation beyond what it is. And the way many gay dudes behave in situations, where they just ghost at random with no closure: I’ve come to accept that realization as well. However I was “friends” (again, using the F word) with a married guy last year and decided to cut it off this year. He was a bit TOO open than what I felt comfortable with, and was just the proverbial “unavailable man”.

I always feel anytime someone talks about not wanting to date, is not something worth expecting “down the line”. I dealt with that from an old friend of mine. I was into him, he was into me but initially it was “if I stopped” he would consider it. But that never happened because he was too busy “getting around” himself. However, eventually we finally got around to him letting me fuck him, so that was a surprising turning point. Things might have progressed into a relationship, but by then I had already moved cities and we weren’t about to be living with each other. I’d say continue the service if you can accept the situation for what it is: an arrangement. But don’t put all your eggs there holding out for something to change.

In the past couple years I been moving towards building connections with clients beyond just the appointment part of things. I know everyone has differing philosophies surrounding it. By boyfriends I don’t necessarily mean “we’re in a relationship” scenario. Moreso just a situation where I spend time with a client off clock and then just have the “Time” occasionally. Call it friends with benefit$ so to speak. In the past few months I “seen” a couple clients. But it ends up they’re either playing around with the situation (one client I was seeing off clock every now and then, took 4 months to tell me that he’s in a dating situation with someone, which explained his often mysterious unavailabilities 🤦🏾‍♂️, or they tend to want a lot out of it. One recently I’ve known for a couple years, cut me off because I wanted to join an invite on the town, the night of our “appointment”. But I’ve spent plenty of extra off clock time (general hanging out before/after a session) with him, so not sure why he made a big stink out of it. We also live an hour apart so I usually end up devoting my whole night at his place (which is closer to the city). Especially Saturday nights, which are generally the most eventful night of the week. We used to go out together, but he had previous addiction issues that resurfaced, and had to stop. So most nights were just spent at home or going out to dinner. Which was fine sometimes, but not every single time I come up. It was becoming like he was trying to control and monopolize my time in the area. Plus I’d do it without even asking for the overnight rates many professionals would probably charge. This has me considering to scale back on doing extended “hangouts” with clients. It seems some start expecting me to “behave” or not discuss anything that involves conflicting “communication”. It’s not the first time I’ve had a situation where instead of working out a disagreement, the “client buddy” resorts to just burning the bridge and leaving resentment.

I’m the type who doesn’t mind talking on the phone, but my thing is taking phone calls unannounced. It’s like “catching me on the spot” kind of thing. I prefer to screen by text first and then proceed. I used to only want to do phone calls, but then I’ve changed to only want to do texts lol. If someone wants to talk on phone, I prefer some notice. Likely because so many especially outside the paid world tend to do everything from start to finish by text. And now, there’s guys out there who don’t even want to exchange numbers to meet. I told one guy, maybe he should consider getting 2 numbers like I do, one for play and one for personal. He blocked me. Like okay, that was petty 😆