JB_Studio38

I’d want to hear from the other provider’s side, especially considering you said “back to back” nights. Maybe you weren’t giving enough notice and were expecting a miracle. I had someone like that today: They waited all day and into the night to confirm and get ready to send the deposit. When he finally was ready to do so, I was not going to arrive on the time requested. I can’t be on time, unless someone follows instructions on time. When I said what time I could arrive, he didn’t want to go that late. It’s like hello, I said multiple times that I needed to have everything arranged by a certain time. People want on time but they wait late to confirm.

Sometimes it’s hard to gauge just by what a client is doing. They may be traveling for work or with a spouse. Also, often times when people are doing such trips, they may not have money to spend later. I know one such client, went to Europe and all but tried to give me $30 less on our last session. I wasn’t mad at him because it was probably a short sighted mistake but: it just goes to show. I also know another client who travels to Europe, and he’s not doing “bad” by any means, but if I ask for more than our usually donation, he may be hesitant. He’s also super frugal and barely spends on anything not necessary: Also: guys on Grindr is just going to be a poor perception on many levels. People love to portray a persona on social media, including Grindr. I knew one such guy who would flaunt his “exquisite” lavish lifestyle of jewelry and “dates” which were nothing more than pushovers who took him out to fancy restaurants. However, my suspicion was he didn’t know how to cook, and was “bill poor”: giving the image but not really able to do what I do. Lot of these “grand” mother fuckers out here won’t even pack up and go on a vacation on their own like I do. Yet they flaunt designer bags and shit to look important. That $600/$1,000 they spend on a bag: I can take that and fund a trip somewhere that’s going to broaden my horizons, meet wonderful clients, and have extra to take care of fundamental things in my life. I mainly think the level of demand depends on a lot of things. There’s surplus of guys in cities where there previously weren’t. I also feel in some ways the “novelty” has been lost. You see so many profiles talking about how they “aren’t generous” and aren’t looking to pay. I made one (potential) client change his profile on Adam. I told him, I don’t feel comfortable meeting him, based on his profile referencing how not to contact him if you’re “looking for money” and that he’ll report to “friends who are in the FBI”. I’m like, I don’t care what the issue is: any clients who openly disparage someone who’s offering a service regardless of the level: I don’t want to meet. How I can trust someone who says, “get a job you worthless pieces of shit” as a client I want to meet? He changed his profile but has still yet to follow thru on the booking. I’m not holding my breath…

By this I mean: you live in an area but do not work there, either because you’ve met all the client pool over the months/years, it’s too many other guys posting and it’s slow, or for discretion purposes. Does anyone have experience with this? I’m considering myself. Even though I tour/travel often, I’m considering to eliminate myself from one of my local markets, and just work remotely from an area that’s nearby. I run my RentMen ad in the area and it’s almost a waste of advertising hours because nobody is hardly contacting anymore in my area. Then soon as I move it to a different state, it’s suddenly high demand again. The drawback I run into with this though, is conveying that I only go to the area for client appointments. And it can be hard to do so if there’s an assumption I’m already there. But when trying to arrange them for later in week or even next day, it’s usually they are going out of town tomorrow, etc, etc. I end up moving it back to local area to be more accessible to bookings.

Exactly. I actually cut a friend off because of that last paragraph. It gets on my last nerve when someone thinks of us as being risky, yet in any city you have guys on apps looking like 24/7 drive thru h**kers, “trading nudes”, and meeting a new guy everyday or multiple times a day. Anybody I meet from an app nowadays, has to be open to meeting on a date level basis. I don’t do hookups unless it’s paid or I’m just in a small town and feeling horny in a hotel and that’s the only way to find lol.

🔝 I try to be in booking mode on some Saturday nights. It can sometimes just be a good day to post up in a hotel, but it’s usually always after 8-9 o’clock if a client hasn’t booked by then…might as well pop a movie or go out. One misconception there seems to be is, that few would date a provider. But in reality, many of the guys out here posting ads are in relationships. I met one just the other day. I later seen an acquaintance’s BF has a pro ad on Adam. I was like, are you F-ing serious lol. 😂 So I can imagine that can play a part in the last minute cancel/difficulty rebooking.

What vibe does this night evoke for you? Saturday nights for me are usually my “off night” simply because it’s the least night of the week to expect a client. I find it can either be a good day for fun/out on the town: or it can be kinda boring. I just have immediate family locally in 1 city, but if I’m not visiting a city where I have connects already, it can be hit or miss. This was the case for me the past couple weekends. The prior Saturday I found something to get into, however this past Saturday I couldn’t find anything going. I had more than a couple people string me along all afternoon and into the evening, leaving me with possibilities but no set plans. I decided to just go out solo for a bit, but I was already feeling stood up, so being at a venue where everybody was already with others just wasn’t giving me what I was looking for. Within an hour, I just called it a night. It can be hard to find plans on Saturdays. Most clients/new flings usually have plans already. And it can be a waste trying to connect with “new” guys if wanting anything more than a hookup. I can spend a whole day trying to meet off an app, before I realize I will have better luck just going somewhere instead. One thing I can’t (but can) understand: is the hesitation among the gay scene to be seen out with somebody new. I spent my whole Saturday hearing about what “they” planned to do, but nothing that included “and you can come too”. It’s like, why do gay guys bother giving play by play details on what they’re doing, if not inviting. If they can’t meet, or it would make the interaction awkward, just convey it. Beating around the bush just makes the person look sketchy and unreliable. With that being said, I normally love Saturdays but it can also be one of the hardest nights if without plans visiting a city (hell, many times even in a local city) Every so often I’ll get a client on those days, but depends a lot on the city. Touristy or high traffic cities are usually good on Saturdays (I met a stylist in Chicago last year, on a late Saturday night), but small and medium sized markets (sizable cities, but have relatively closed in gay scenes: San Antonio, Milwaukee, St. Louis come to mind) can be a mission.

I was referring to just general off clock: more specifically pool parties, drinks, hanging out at home watching TV or dinner. Now off clock sex, as in freebies: I have done if I connect with a guy, but in general: I just find majority of clients are in a space where a relationship isn’t on their mind. Either they’ve “been there, done that” and are set in their ways, or they just aren’t actively trying to make that happen.

That last line is very much along the lines of what I’ve started doing, basically referring people to my private site to book. And from there they basically have to pick a session to book, and pay the initial deposit to get started. I haven’t found a “pay to chat” option yet regarding the phone number. But considering some people text and still don’t follow up when I return with booking instructions, I am open to consider that. I was hoping that, RentMen could do something like that since they already have it to where we can’t post phone number in our profiles, and they have it “rigged” somehow to where it’s not searchable on Google. So the only way to get our number to begin with is to click, so why not have it where we can just get paid that way 🤷🏾‍♂️

This And this… And this… I used to be hesitant of doing off clock time in my younger days. But now I have more than a few who I actually spend time with, as friends even. If and when the fun part comes off, then we go ahead and settle up. I spent my birthday night with a couple of client “buddies” and even 1 of his friends. My thing: It can be hard connecting with friends in the “community” when you live a transient, even alternative lifestyle. Clients seem to be more open and understanding to that. I am so tired and fatigued of the gay scene, especially in non-transient Midwest towns. It’s almost impenetrable to get into any circle and even when you meet some cool people: they are cool for a night or 2, and then just go back to their usual clique and routine. Ghosting, not returning messages. Think you found a good friend, and turns out to just be another scene queen. However, on a realistic level it’s important to recognize that “majority” of clients out there are doing so because a need to be discreet or because I’ve sometimes found some to be too “sex focused” to where it can make the interaction a bit too 1 track purposed. I appreciate and acknowledge the attraction and flirting, but if it becomes to where “off the clock” time requires some form of sex, thats where things can get a bit weird. Overall, many of my clients I can consider as my friend. It’s a bit harder to do that with straight married guys, but there is some gay partnered guys I’ve found to be pretty cool with connecting for off clock fun. But like someone said, there’s no guarantees and be sure to voice any concerns so that nobody feels played in the end.

Closest thing I know of is Mr. # You don’t really get to “talk”, but more just post.

I make sure to get all this info out the way within the first text, FYI. Very first thing: are you looking to host or travel? You can’t get 2 gay men having sex without being able to host or travel. Nobody going to parks like that these days, so I am well aware it’s a #1 question. My hosting location may vary AND it is not shared until the basic screening is taken care of. However, I will occasionally post whichever town/neighborhood on RentMen is the one I’m in, which RentMen has made easier. That way it still shows in the main metro area.

You assume RentMen would have that information, but having my own website: RentMen is not a “payment processor”. It’s likely a 3rd party processor that handles that info. You’ve taken what I said far too literal, I was merely talking about the concept, not the actual billing process.

I’m happy you’re able to understand. However, anonymous is for bathhouses and forensic files/murdered mystery shows. I’m not trying to go that route, so I respectfully ask all clients for name, age and pic (which I say is optional OR). The last time I tried to meet someone somewhat anonymously (last week from A4A, going just by his number and screenname) from a website, he showed up and counted $26 in front of me (fortunately I asked for the fee upfront before anything started). When he offered to go to the ATM to get more, he never came back. Exactly why, I need to ask for deposits, name and basic details. It weeds out the bozos who are likely to try something devious or sneaky. They usually go silent and say nothing. At the end of the day, I realize the only fault I accept is keep allowing myself to engage with deadwoods. I’m not doing it anymore. I’m giving ONE CHANCE to follow directions, if they can’t be bothered: I can’t be bothered to exchange more than 1 message with them. This is why there needs to be an “Uber/Lyft” for providers. My own website is the closest I been able to get, but it would be great if RentMen made this happen. Nobody sits around and has long text chats with Uber drivers before they receive payment. Pay first, then you get all the details about car/driver/time of arrival etc etc.

Matter of fact: I will go ahead and do exactly that. Let me post some texts. Because apparently, I’m the one with the attitude. So let’s just see (I’m the person either in blue or green on all messages). ⬆️ This person didn’t return the reply despite him sounding like he’d be serious after I answered a few questions earlier. Like really? You tell me this now: and he says out of price range, but I’d be spending at least $150 myself to accommodate the session because it’s 2 hours away and he wants me to host. Obviously is clueless. ⬆️ Contact me over an hour later only to tell me, “thanks for trying?” He contacted me for a session and I asked for what I needed to accommodate. Why bother getting in touch if you not willing to confirm or be prepared to do what’s necessary? Interrupting my morning with no intent. Goodbye 🚮 ⬆️ It’s a Saturday night at 12:30 a.m. Who said I’m even working? And then when I reply back later that afternoon, no response. ⬆️ Would require driving an hour to his hotel, in the middle of Illinois, which I didn’t have the info for. Why would I do that without a deposit? And he has a couple of bad reports too, which is why I was even more pressed to ask for a deposit. ⬆️ Just more back and forth stuff. Didn’t end up meeting because he didn’t confirm and follow up as directed. Wasted his and my time bullshitting.

You’re making an assumption based on what someone else “thinks” they know. And they’re only getting that based on how I’m describing it here. My attitude when talking about certain patterns in the initial stages of booking, doesn’t mean I have an attitude with clients in person or over phone. Neither of you seem be able to decipher the difference. Don’t assume. All my reviews on RentMen and RentMasseur prove the type of person I actually am. It’s when people refuse to apply consideration and respect, is where the connection deteriorates. The only time I do have “an attitude” is when a potential client doesn’t read my ad, or says or does things that make arranging the appointment inefficient or difficult for me. If I’m asking someone details or to confirm a session, and they don’t respond, blow me off for hours/days: and then later call me trying to push me around to meet without having any notice, and assuming I can see them right away: Do you expect me not to feel any different? I mean, if you really want to go there: I will post tidbits of text messages where I have been polite and without an attitude, and you can see where they said something that wasn’t reciprocal. You give respect, you get respect. It’s not just give, give, give with nothing in return.

In my experience, usually not. Back when I was younger and had more patience with craigslist: I used to be okay dealing with people like that, with the exception that at least I was getting a steady stream of clients. But even if they do come around eventually: it's usually just 1 time, and then they fall right back into that flaky cycle. One client found out the hard way last year. I used to just tolerate it, but I told him off and turned down his lousy "discount". They go 5, even 10 YEARS without seeing you, and want to bring up "that's more than what I used to see you for". You think?

I hope so… Sometimes the by-product of “health scares” is people may be cautious. But instead of going about things sensibly, they ask for appointments which they know they have no real intent on keeping. Or they are very lazy about it: don’t want to follow instructions, directions, or requests. Or too stingy to want to come out of pocket. Expect the world on a platter (a hot, horny escort with a big dick who can host them TODAY and give them a massage), but gives a hard time doing what the provider asks. But this is great because it just means I need to stick with what I was doing all along, and not stray from it. Auto-replies and deposits. Rinse and repeat. It gets boring but, better than wasting time and hope on imbeciles who half ass go thru with things, which frustrates me and then I have to talk about it here 😆 .

I’m actually relieved you said that, so we can get it out of the way. I was “waiting” for a nasty reply to come out the woodwork. And congrats, you’re the first. Thank you. Because that simply deciphers those who really understand versus those like you (pigheaded) who instead of looking at solutions, rather ignore the facts and simply blame the provider. And FYI, low booking rate? What is YOUR booking rate? How many clients did you get this year and how much you made? Tell me that…and we can talk about my low booking rate.

In that case, no. I don’t think that would have been reasonable. Unless you didn’t mention you’d be driving 2 hours. But overall no.

i think the biggest issue is the money. As I mentioned, some of these guys are flaking because they don’t have an idea how much an escort/Nude masseur charges. They probably know a guy at a gym or spa who charged them $70/80 and then expects the same from someone who’s paying to be on a site and traveling to cities full time. I’m going to have to write to RentMen next because they’re not doing enough to educated clients as it is. For me to have to make my own website and pay an additional amount each month, to educate clients proves right there that some of it lies on the fault of the advertising platform. Then again, some of it probably just the quality of these guys. They’re probably already coming from a low quality state of mind. The fact that most can’t host, goes to show they’re in the position to only be able to have sex if they can go to another man’s place versus their own. Then, they don’t even have the decency to give any sort of notice, which goes to show additionally they have 0 respect for the other persons space or schedule. Which likely proves they go a long time before actually getting any. Because how many people out here can really host on super short notice? Not many I know. Even people with their own place aren’t keen on having unexpected company round the clock. That’s why no more same day hosting appointments will be allowed in my home base cities.

Because these type of things tend to come and go. Couple weeks ago I was counting over $1,000 over a course of a couple or so days. It’s not a constant state of struggle. It’s periodic times dealing in markets that are lacking the sustainability needed. And since I can’t just pick up and move across the country at ease with everything going on that could spell “lockdown” “monkey pox pandemic” or “recession”, I am limited in my options of immediate solutions. In the meantime, the business is still paying my bills, and other miscellaneous spending. It's also an enjoyable replacement to my sex life, because I can't stand being on "hookup apps" trolling for endless sex and "dates" for free with people who I stand little chance of making a relationship, let alone a friend. So I do enjoy the intimacy part of the biz, but it's the muck involved with setting things up that has gotten a bit more difficult. That’s not necessarily a problem with me or the business, it’s moreso having to deal with particular people like that. That’s why I say pigheaded men, not pigheaded escort business. It’s like if I worked in a store: I may do fine any other time and day, but if it’s “just” the Monday window shopper crowd that makes it miserable, that doesn’t mean I need to get out of that particular business. It’s just that time of week and day that I find is a struggle to work in the store. I also mentioned somewhere in another thread the reasons why. As many people are who “work”, even other industries, it’s not always easy to just say “I’ll quit” when you have to handle things week to week. It’s not a matter of whether I should leave or continue, it’s a more so a factor of making sure there’s respect and understanding going on.

Well couldn’t you have asked for the hotel information instead of canceling? That’s probably would have been a bit more courteous. However, I can understand the hesitation. It’s like one client the other week who wouldn’t send a deposit nor the address of the hotel. And this was a same day booking. I reported him, but he also has 2 other warnings from other escorts claiming he sent them on a wasted drive:

I feel some of it can be controlled. I just wrote a stern email to one site (not rentmen) about how I feel it’s very unfair and pointless to advertise on the site and not be able to post our rates. Some of these clients are not following thru because they have no idea how much we are charging. One “client” (who is now blacklisted on the “number”) had the nerve to tell me my rate was too expensive. Yet he expected me to drive 2 hours to a city that I advertise “nearby travel” in (and not for a lousy $100) get a hotel to host (because he wasn’t). The nerve, to call me expensive? Really. These people have no clue or idea what kind of service they are contacting and asking for, and don’t even have regard for the amount of work and money on our part, that is required to do it. It is highly frustrating. Those people have to be dealt with accordingly, but as someone said: one teaches the other. When people call at the last minute, no sort of notice: can you even expect to get clean sheets? Should a person want to cum for a client who called 30 minutes ago, same day notice…or should they cum for the client who booked more in advance for the longer session? There’s a saying: you get what you ask for. Lot of these clients ask for shit on a stick, so they get shit on a stick. You call me late: I’m going to show up late. You don’t want to give me time to get prepared, then I won’t be prepared. If the client shows up unprepared, in areas where they “should” be prepared: I’m not going to stay longer than necessary.

I wouldn’t go for that myself. That is why I have started consultation fees for new clients, to avoid things like this. It’s always when I back off and don’t follow my own protocols, that one thing leads to the next. I’m supposed to not even be allowing contact at all with these people, until they have sent me money to discuss. Because I can’t trust them to do things EVER without receiving money upfront. You can’t. I have trusted them over and over and over. All it happens is, you get a booking request for a session from such clients, THAT NEVER HAPPENS. I try to be nice and work with people and not be so tough, but it never works. Now I have to go right back to the usual routine.

Yeah, it’s me again. I know it’s getting old. But, I just don’t know what more do I need to say or do, to get people to do things sensibly. What kind of era are we living in right now? I don’t understand any of these clients these days. Its the same thing I’ve rehearsed 150,00,000 times. People don’t book in advance, they don’t give me any sort of notice that a session is going to be taking place. I can literally sit around all day and all night with no appointments planned, and the minute I decide to do something like: EAT, or see a friend, someone wants to reach out to me to meet. Then we I try to plan it for any further than NOW, it’s always, “oh I can’t. I leave tomorrow.” Or some other lame overused response. Well then you should of not waited until the last minute. Do these people think we live to squeeze in their bad planning 🤷🏾‍♂️ I am so angry right now that I have only had 1 client last week: yet several texts up and down on my phone, and all the rest didn’t follow thru. It’s very irritating and annoying. Now I have to argue and run people down for payment because I have proof on several messages, clients NAMING times for a booking, and then falling through on it (similar to how Elon Musk fell thru on Twitter..and notice how they aren’t backing down). It’s like every week I have to add another and another note to my profile: this week is, I AM NOT HOSTING SAME DAY APPOINTMENTS. People has no consideration or respect for my time or place if they think they can just call out the blue, and ask to come over when just moments ago, I didn’t even know they existed. Or, the clients who do contact once…vanish, and then come around again months later like it never happened. Then suddenly out the blue with extreme eager to meet right?? Like this one guy I told him off: Do they seriously think I’m not going to notice their text from last year showing where they explicitly ignored a detailed message about specific details/questions? Like what the fuck? Where are clients learning this behavior from? I want to know that, today. Who? Who the fuck is teaching them that you set up stuff with professionals like this? Is this Midwest ignorance or is this all of America? I’m just so ready to leave my region and just go to a completely different state already. I’ve never dealt with so many stupid fucking people in such a span of time. I’ve noticed some areas seem a bit better than others, but I notice this across the board in many areas. Even some of the travelers do the same thing. They come to town, no plans or previous outreach and just expect me to be available. I digress…it’s really sad. Then they don’t read ads so despite all the work I put in there, it don’t matter. Maybe I’m going to change my working name to: BESUREYOUHAVEREADMYADBEFOREYOUCONTACTMESOIDONTHAVETOSPENDTIMEONEXPLAININGEXACTLYWHATIEXPECTFROMYOU. Then I can advertise that I’m Russian or Ukrainian, that’s why my name is so long 🤦🏽‍♂️ Then when I talk to my outside friends about it, they’re no support. All they do is bad mouth the business (ironic huh, but no that’s not what I’m doing. I’m bad mouthing the lack of common sense, not the business) and give me no alternative except the usual. Yet, when it comes time for me to spend my money with them, they don’t stop and think about how I made it in the first place 🤔