JB_Studio38

In quote to the 2 together: I think the possibilities are there. It can and does happen. I had a client the other day recently tell me he was once in a “legacy” relationship. If that can work, then so can probably a client/escort arrangement. I understand it shouldn’t be the goal to develop a traditional/conventional relationship going into things. But, I feel if there’s a connection that exists, why not. Even if it goes from hiring to friends with benefits to full on relationship. Maybe the situation can transition from a paid to a non-transactional arrangement. However: I feel the escort should have the initiation in doing that, not the client (because every escort knows the worst offer is a guy who alludes that he wants the service, but doesn’t FEEL a need to pay for it). I actually think there’s nothing wrong with being open to love and romance on the platforms. RentMen is a very “fluid” website. It’s bad in some ways, but in other ways: there’s no “rules” or “guidelines”. Hell, without rates you could make it a free thing (but which is also why I started charging consultation fees/deposits to engage, because I feel people have treated RentMen TOO MUCH like a chat line, versus an actual escort service: which is technically not even a word broadcast on the site). But point is, you want to date, date. There’s really nothing in the water to prevent romance from taking place, any less than using some crappy hookup app where most the users are ghosters or in open relationships. I have actually made good friends, clients and FWBs from RentMen. You may not get to “fall in love”, but you can appreciate a situation for what it is. Is the chemistry is mutual and there’s a desire to transition: by all means. At the end of the day, I think most will just appreciate having a reliable regular. If business falls out the equation, that may feel like a bad move.

I thrive in the summer, with the longer days and warmer temps. However, the bugs in general make it close to miserable 😖 Especially in the Midwest and South. But pretty much everywhere. Even in the mountain west, I’ve had to chase moths and stink bugs out during the summer. Where I live now, the house/stable flies are insanity. It’s hard to enjoy a BBQ at ground level. I can put out a fly trap that catches 10,000 flies supposedly, and it’ll be full within a week or 2. Friends who have Outdoor spaces on rooftops seem to avoid bugs. Not to mention the mosquitoes. For a couple days I was worried I may be coming down with monkey pox. But nope, just skeeter syndrome. It can certainly be a nuisance.

First paragraph spot on. Not to mention: the ones who were interested but couldn’t follow thru, some on multiple occasions. I like the hub idea, but it’s still a factor of herding the bookings at the right time. Like right now: I usually base out of St. Louis or Kansas City. There’s cities (albeit small market/conservative/or concentrated wealth) within 3-4 hours drive like you mentioned: but most of the time, I can’t catch people because they wait too late to confirm or expect me to just already be there the minute I move my ad to the area. Lately, I’ve just been going to cities where I can stay at a friend’s place for a couple nights and wait for bookings to line up. But to just go to a city, book a hotel, pay upfront (all the things captain @Kevin Slater told us not to do), it’s not been as busy to do that. Unless I have a client who’s confirmed and send deposit, then I can go and actually be there. I already had that twice this month: tried to go to the next town nearby, but wasn’t given enough notice or they waited hours to get to the point. I’m telling them: confirm now/send details. They don’t, and then when they finally do, half the day goes by, and they expect me to be ready and available. No. And posting cities as travel doesn’t work as well as actually moving the ad there because, RentMen only shows the list of guys in each city who have it set as their home location. You have to click on the City and scroll thru the list. So oftentimes I’ll just move it to the area I want to go to for half the day, and then back to where I am for the other half of the day. But even with that, idk if it’s just confusing people more or what. Unless I just say first thing: “I am in (city) currently now”. But then when I do that, people still don’t get it. End up with a lot of, “when are you going to be in…?” I’m not trying to do all that back and forth anymore either. Tired of that. I just want people to send me the deposit and then everything else can be worked and sorted out. I’m letting deposits be valid for up to a month so, they can figure out something within a month.

This hadn’t been mentioned but: perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to get a testosterone check, and/or look into test boosting supplements. Doesn’t have to be “steroids” but lots of accessible stuff at places like GNC and Vitamin Shoppe. Also everybody has different body types. Without a picture of you and height/weight proportions, I can’t tell what type of body type you are. However, it sounds like big frame/broad shoulders: you aren’t going to be a “ripped daddy” unless you’re willing to go on the show “naked and afraid” 😆 Also if you’re going to up your workouts, particularly the weight lifting type: don’t always rely on 2 meals a day. Workout days you can use more protein/calories. Add protein mixes if you have to. You can also switch up the mountains for the high school track. I have done mountain walking, and it is SUPER exhausting, but I feel it does more leg/back workout than actual fat burning unless you’re doing it daily.

I've had "clients" who have done something similar. Something like, "my regular guy who charges $60 for full f**k and massage is coming over, you're too expensive". Well knock yourself out... Bet if I offered it for free, you'd still not be able to afford it.

I also wanted to mention this, because this is important yet has a lot of variables. Some guys out here travel often, and I remember a time where I used to be confident enough to do it without any deposits. However, the way things are nowadays and having had enough “no shows” (which can be prolific in some cities moreso than others) I don’t like working without them. However, often times a client will say, “oh well don’t come all the way out here just for me” when asked for a deposit. Or they’ll say, “just let me know when you’re in the area”. As if, I’m supposed to just show up to another city for no reason at all. Some of these guys are so clueless. I wish there was a better understanding: I DO NOT GO TO YOUR CITY EXCEPT FOR APPOINTMENTS. And if I do go for other reasons, I like to still center around bookings. Like when I went to San Francisco earlier this year: I was meeting friends there, but the MAIN purpose was to tour and make some earnings. So I still collected deposits before and during the time I was there. It can sometimes be hard like the post I mentioned: outsourcing rent ads. In my case, I stay part time in a basically non-existent market where there’s usually no paying clients except within an hour or THREE hours drive. I still ask for deposits but I know that has probably cut like 50% of prospective clients. However, when I didn’t ask deposits, I was fronting money and getting stood up. However, who is comfortable with the fact that they are likely missing out on clients because they don’t want to book without a deposit? It’s a double edged sword. How do you address that? I know in your case: it sounds like you’re in a comfortable position to be in a big enough city and not have to do much outside travel. So, it bares mentioning that not all rules can apply to every circumstance.

+1,000 💥 to all of the above. I must be pretty good because I have been doing most of what you mentioned. Only thing to add to the above 🔝 I would say do that before arrival OR at least wait a few minutes in between time. Shower douche insert a lot of water that can make for more mess than if a person hadn’t.

Well in that case, sounds like a bad case of the flake. My misunderstanding. That said: apparently it is rocket science because I have to once again remove numbers from ads and make people send consultation payment upfront to book because people can’t seem to follow thru. And I get fed up wasting half a day chit texting with an inquiry, only to end up with no earning or appointment out of it.

What gets me are people who seem to be sooo busy and have all their other things planned but are so lousy when it comes to arranging a meet up. The past couple of weeks, I have been making appointment after appointment with non-escort things (doctor/car/barber etc.) and it’s hard to find anyone who offers same day appointments. So I know, that THEY know, it’s not something that’s widely done in the business world. Then when I try to arrange for the same day, they drag stuff on, wait hours to get to the point and book, and then if I can’t meet on the same day they contact, they’re just sooo busy to do it any other time. It can be hard if you aren’t limited to a small local radius in limited time windows. Most are just not reliable, especially when dealing with business travelers or locals who can’t host. Then people go on about others running late: well, there’s your answer and solution right there. How can we be on time for anyone, when people aren’t on time for us 🤷🏾‍♂️

So as mentioned: the part that I don’t like about trying to do this, is I try to post in a location within a couple hours away. Someone reaches out, but wants to meet “today” or tonight. It’s possible, but on short notice it could be a bit inconvenient or interfere with some other plans I have in mind. I’ve had instances where they just drag on the process of confirming, and I’m telling them: I don’t go anywhere until the booking is confirmed. And the longer they wait to confirm, the later I’m going to be for the appointment. When trying to schedule for the next day, they’re either leaving or going to be too busy. It’s like, how can I plan to go somewhere that involves some travel, if it’s going to be difficult or a pain in the ass to get a confirmation? Makes it hard to want to post in other cities outside of where you’re based.

I’d want to hear from the other provider’s side, especially considering you said “back to back” nights. Maybe you weren’t giving enough notice and were expecting a miracle. I had someone like that today: They waited all day and into the night to confirm and get ready to send the deposit. When he finally was ready to do so, I was not going to arrive on the time requested. I can’t be on time, unless someone follows instructions on time. When I said what time I could arrive, he didn’t want to go that late. It’s like hello, I said multiple times that I needed to have everything arranged by a certain time. People want on time but they wait late to confirm.

Sometimes it’s hard to gauge just by what a client is doing. They may be traveling for work or with a spouse. Also, often times when people are doing such trips, they may not have money to spend later. I know one such client, went to Europe and all but tried to give me $30 less on our last session. I wasn’t mad at him because it was probably a short sighted mistake but: it just goes to show. I also know another client who travels to Europe, and he’s not doing “bad” by any means, but if I ask for more than our usually donation, he may be hesitant. He’s also super frugal and barely spends on anything not necessary: Also: guys on Grindr is just going to be a poor perception on many levels. People love to portray a persona on social media, including Grindr. I knew one such guy who would flaunt his “exquisite” lavish lifestyle of jewelry and “dates” which were nothing more than pushovers who took him out to fancy restaurants. However, my suspicion was he didn’t know how to cook, and was “bill poor”: giving the image but not really able to do what I do. Lot of these “grand” mother fuckers out here won’t even pack up and go on a vacation on their own like I do. Yet they flaunt designer bags and shit to look important. That $600/$1,000 they spend on a bag: I can take that and fund a trip somewhere that’s going to broaden my horizons, meet wonderful clients, and have extra to take care of fundamental things in my life. I mainly think the level of demand depends on a lot of things. There’s surplus of guys in cities where there previously weren’t. I also feel in some ways the “novelty” has been lost. You see so many profiles talking about how they “aren’t generous” and aren’t looking to pay. I made one (potential) client change his profile on Adam. I told him, I don’t feel comfortable meeting him, based on his profile referencing how not to contact him if you’re “looking for money” and that he’ll report to “friends who are in the FBI”. I’m like, I don’t care what the issue is: any clients who openly disparage someone who’s offering a service regardless of the level: I don’t want to meet. How I can trust someone who says, “get a job you worthless pieces of shit” as a client I want to meet? He changed his profile but has still yet to follow thru on the booking. I’m not holding my breath…

By this I mean: you live in an area but do not work there, either because you’ve met all the client pool over the months/years, it’s too many other guys posting and it’s slow, or for discretion purposes. Does anyone have experience with this? I’m considering myself. Even though I tour/travel often, I’m considering to eliminate myself from one of my local markets, and just work remotely from an area that’s nearby. I run my RentMen ad in the area and it’s almost a waste of advertising hours because nobody is hardly contacting anymore in my area. Then soon as I move it to a different state, it’s suddenly high demand again. The drawback I run into with this though, is conveying that I only go to the area for client appointments. And it can be hard to do so if there’s an assumption I’m already there. But when trying to arrange them for later in week or even next day, it’s usually they are going out of town tomorrow, etc, etc. I end up moving it back to local area to be more accessible to bookings.

Exactly. I actually cut a friend off because of that last paragraph. It gets on my last nerve when someone thinks of us as being risky, yet in any city you have guys on apps looking like 24/7 drive thru h**kers, “trading nudes”, and meeting a new guy everyday or multiple times a day. Anybody I meet from an app nowadays, has to be open to meeting on a date level basis. I don’t do hookups unless it’s paid or I’m just in a small town and feeling horny in a hotel and that’s the only way to find lol.

🔝 I try to be in booking mode on some Saturday nights. It can sometimes just be a good day to post up in a hotel, but it’s usually always after 8-9 o’clock if a client hasn’t booked by then…might as well pop a movie or go out. One misconception there seems to be is, that few would date a provider. But in reality, many of the guys out here posting ads are in relationships. I met one just the other day. I later seen an acquaintance’s BF has a pro ad on Adam. I was like, are you F-ing serious lol. 😂 So I can imagine that can play a part in the last minute cancel/difficulty rebooking.

What vibe does this night evoke for you? Saturday nights for me are usually my “off night” simply because it’s the least night of the week to expect a client. I find it can either be a good day for fun/out on the town: or it can be kinda boring. I just have immediate family locally in 1 city, but if I’m not visiting a city where I have connects already, it can be hit or miss. This was the case for me the past couple weekends. The prior Saturday I found something to get into, however this past Saturday I couldn’t find anything going. I had more than a couple people string me along all afternoon and into the evening, leaving me with possibilities but no set plans. I decided to just go out solo for a bit, but I was already feeling stood up, so being at a venue where everybody was already with others just wasn’t giving me what I was looking for. Within an hour, I just called it a night. It can be hard to find plans on Saturdays. Most clients/new flings usually have plans already. And it can be a waste trying to connect with “new” guys if wanting anything more than a hookup. I can spend a whole day trying to meet off an app, before I realize I will have better luck just going somewhere instead. One thing I can’t (but can) understand: is the hesitation among the gay scene to be seen out with somebody new. I spent my whole Saturday hearing about what “they” planned to do, but nothing that included “and you can come too”. It’s like, why do gay guys bother giving play by play details on what they’re doing, if not inviting. If they can’t meet, or it would make the interaction awkward, just convey it. Beating around the bush just makes the person look sketchy and unreliable. With that being said, I normally love Saturdays but it can also be one of the hardest nights if without plans visiting a city (hell, many times even in a local city) Every so often I’ll get a client on those days, but depends a lot on the city. Touristy or high traffic cities are usually good on Saturdays (I met a stylist in Chicago last year, on a late Saturday night), but small and medium sized markets (sizable cities, but have relatively closed in gay scenes: San Antonio, Milwaukee, St. Louis come to mind) can be a mission.

I was referring to just general off clock: more specifically pool parties, drinks, hanging out at home watching TV or dinner. Now off clock sex, as in freebies: I have done if I connect with a guy, but in general: I just find majority of clients are in a space where a relationship isn’t on their mind. Either they’ve “been there, done that” and are set in their ways, or they just aren’t actively trying to make that happen.

That last line is very much along the lines of what I’ve started doing, basically referring people to my private site to book. And from there they basically have to pick a session to book, and pay the initial deposit to get started. I haven’t found a “pay to chat” option yet regarding the phone number. But considering some people text and still don’t follow up when I return with booking instructions, I am open to consider that. I was hoping that, RentMen could do something like that since they already have it to where we can’t post phone number in our profiles, and they have it “rigged” somehow to where it’s not searchable on Google. So the only way to get our number to begin with is to click, so why not have it where we can just get paid that way 🤷🏾‍♂️

This And this… And this… I used to be hesitant of doing off clock time in my younger days. But now I have more than a few who I actually spend time with, as friends even. If and when the fun part comes off, then we go ahead and settle up. I spent my birthday night with a couple of client “buddies” and even 1 of his friends. My thing: It can be hard connecting with friends in the “community” when you live a transient, even alternative lifestyle. Clients seem to be more open and understanding to that. I am so tired and fatigued of the gay scene, especially in non-transient Midwest towns. It’s almost impenetrable to get into any circle and even when you meet some cool people: they are cool for a night or 2, and then just go back to their usual clique and routine. Ghosting, not returning messages. Think you found a good friend, and turns out to just be another scene queen. However, on a realistic level it’s important to recognize that “majority” of clients out there are doing so because a need to be discreet or because I’ve sometimes found some to be too “sex focused” to where it can make the interaction a bit too 1 track purposed. I appreciate and acknowledge the attraction and flirting, but if it becomes to where “off the clock” time requires some form of sex, thats where things can get a bit weird. Overall, many of my clients I can consider as my friend. It’s a bit harder to do that with straight married guys, but there is some gay partnered guys I’ve found to be pretty cool with connecting for off clock fun. But like someone said, there’s no guarantees and be sure to voice any concerns so that nobody feels played in the end.

Closest thing I know of is Mr. # You don’t really get to “talk”, but more just post.

I make sure to get all this info out the way within the first text, FYI. Very first thing: are you looking to host or travel? You can’t get 2 gay men having sex without being able to host or travel. Nobody going to parks like that these days, so I am well aware it’s a #1 question. My hosting location may vary AND it is not shared until the basic screening is taken care of. However, I will occasionally post whichever town/neighborhood on RentMen is the one I’m in, which RentMen has made easier. That way it still shows in the main metro area.

You assume RentMen would have that information, but having my own website: RentMen is not a “payment processor”. It’s likely a 3rd party processor that handles that info. You’ve taken what I said far too literal, I was merely talking about the concept, not the actual billing process.

I’m happy you’re able to understand. However, anonymous is for bathhouses and forensic files/murdered mystery shows. I’m not trying to go that route, so I respectfully ask all clients for name, age and pic (which I say is optional OR). The last time I tried to meet someone somewhat anonymously (last week from A4A, going just by his number and screenname) from a website, he showed up and counted $26 in front of me (fortunately I asked for the fee upfront before anything started). When he offered to go to the ATM to get more, he never came back. Exactly why, I need to ask for deposits, name and basic details. It weeds out the bozos who are likely to try something devious or sneaky. They usually go silent and say nothing. At the end of the day, I realize the only fault I accept is keep allowing myself to engage with deadwoods. I’m not doing it anymore. I’m giving ONE CHANCE to follow directions, if they can’t be bothered: I can’t be bothered to exchange more than 1 message with them. This is why there needs to be an “Uber/Lyft” for providers. My own website is the closest I been able to get, but it would be great if RentMen made this happen. Nobody sits around and has long text chats with Uber drivers before they receive payment. Pay first, then you get all the details about car/driver/time of arrival etc etc.

Matter of fact: I will go ahead and do exactly that. Let me post some texts. Because apparently, I’m the one with the attitude. So let’s just see (I’m the person either in blue or green on all messages). ⬆️ This person didn’t return the reply despite him sounding like he’d be serious after I answered a few questions earlier. Like really? You tell me this now: and he says out of price range, but I’d be spending at least $150 myself to accommodate the session because it’s 2 hours away and he wants me to host. Obviously is clueless. ⬆️ Contact me over an hour later only to tell me, “thanks for trying?” He contacted me for a session and I asked for what I needed to accommodate. Why bother getting in touch if you not willing to confirm or be prepared to do what’s necessary? Interrupting my morning with no intent. Goodbye 🚮 ⬆️ It’s a Saturday night at 12:30 a.m. Who said I’m even working? And then when I reply back later that afternoon, no response. ⬆️ Would require driving an hour to his hotel, in the middle of Illinois, which I didn’t have the info for. Why would I do that without a deposit? And he has a couple of bad reports too, which is why I was even more pressed to ask for a deposit. ⬆️ Just more back and forth stuff. Didn’t end up meeting because he didn’t confirm and follow up as directed. Wasted his and my time bullshitting.

You’re making an assumption based on what someone else “thinks” they know. And they’re only getting that based on how I’m describing it here. My attitude when talking about certain patterns in the initial stages of booking, doesn’t mean I have an attitude with clients in person or over phone. Neither of you seem be able to decipher the difference. Don’t assume. All my reviews on RentMen and RentMasseur prove the type of person I actually am. It’s when people refuse to apply consideration and respect, is where the connection deteriorates. The only time I do have “an attitude” is when a potential client doesn’t read my ad, or says or does things that make arranging the appointment inefficient or difficult for me. If I’m asking someone details or to confirm a session, and they don’t respond, blow me off for hours/days: and then later call me trying to push me around to meet without having any notice, and assuming I can see them right away: Do you expect me not to feel any different? I mean, if you really want to go there: I will post tidbits of text messages where I have been polite and without an attitude, and you can see where they said something that wasn’t reciprocal. You give respect, you get respect. It’s not just give, give, give with nothing in return.