JB_Studio38

Anytime someone includes “real job” while referencing “escorting” in the same sentence, I just know they aren’t somebody to have a conversation with. I’ve even seen clients on Adam4Adam use that terminology in their profile, and expect me to respond to them. And since some posters want to be smart ass and ask fucking rhetorical questions, let me ask: how much would THEY charge to **** someone who wasn’t particularly their type? Because last time I checked: a dude during a hypothetical pool party conversation was like, “yeah for a $100,000, I’ll sleep with ANYBODY “ while adding adjectives such as fat and ugly behind it (not my words, his).So yah, $300/400 is a unprecedented discount lol. That’s where clients go wrong when they try to act like we owe them a certain price, especially regulars who get used to paying only so much. A average guy ” WITH A REAL JOB” my caliber, would charge them $1,000 or more. If money would even buy in the 1st place, because if they’re making money at a real job, why would they want to sleep with somebody who’s so far from the type, for less than their weekly paycheck? MoFos out here can be so entitled and ungrateful 😤 (not you, them).

Good questions, but all very easy to answer. And I’ll tell you exactly: #1: if I advertised in a city: I don’t even PLAN to go UNLESS I have appointment INTEREST set up. So me scheduling appointments in another city without PLANS to go, wouldn’t even exist in my reality. You’re making a hypothetical assumption that doesn’t necessarily apply to me, but rather a variable among other providers as a whole that you may have heard or experienced from other providers who have nothing to do with me. In addition: I always ask clients very basic info which includes an opening for them to share any details regarding if they’re visiting specifically for the session, what THEIR schedule is (which will also open the door to share or mention work plans which they 99% of the time will do because you can’t answer the question fully without including). In the rare case that I do have to cancel a visit that was SPECIFICALLY BOOKED for the client, I try to ensure I accommodate them in the future or give access to my content, which is technically a “cancellation fee”….because they aren’t contacting me for money, they’re contacting for the other thing. That’s where #2, you are getting it wrong from the jump. They’re in it for goods, I’m in it for money. Has a company ever actually paid a customer for something he didn’t actually buy? No. Does a company (e.g. custom bakery shop, wedding) actually charge a customer for some of the legwork that has to be done PRIOR to the actual event? Yes. Deposits don’t limit anything for me, except headache and bullshit fuckers. Which is, exactly the point. Instincts really don’t mean much when dealing with someone you’ve never met. Instincts can say no, no, no or yes, yes, yes…and the person can still do exactly opposite of what instinct would say to do. Also, I don’t even talk on the phone with clients anymore. Most clients who call me, get sent to voicemail. Today: I had 2 phone calls and NEITHER were any good. Case I. Point: Caller #1 (newbie) Never replied back. Of course, doesn’t sound like I’m the first: Then another call today, which I swiftly declined and sent to voicemail. Was a client I met previously. Thank Gawd I didn’t pick up 🤦🏽‍♂️ He had the wrong number, and apologized for the mistake. But still…it’s exact reason I don’t bother answering phone calls. I may answer a call once every few months, but with these 2 examples above: I will probably never answer an unexpected phone call on my client phone ever again. In this biz: lots of people have advice/suggestions/opinions/tidbits but yet few have actual experience day in/day out. I told one local guy few weeks ago: unless I ask you for advice, don’t tell me how to run my life. I don’t care if you’ve been an escort for 30 years: you and me are not the same person. Some people try to give advice to others from their perspective, which may come from a privileged/opportunity stance but not one that addresses the circumstances of a particular person.

Are you coming from an escort or client perspective? it is a biz but everyone has a right to do as they choose to run it. That’s the great thing about being an independent. You don’t HAVE to do anything that you don’t want. And you can set boundaries where there needs to be. People thought I was crazy to start asking deposits. I’ve been doing so exclusively for past few months. Even though I can’t stop everything, it’s helped avoid a lot of things. If nothing else, gives me and the client assurance. And as usual, you can’t compare what other providers do. Nobody is alike. We all come from different places, different outlooks on life, different priorities, different levels of tolerances, different experiences, different needs, different upbringing, different goals, different backgrounds, different finances… Need I say more? lol.

It seems very few people can survive off of any 1 job though. Lots of people are doing 2-3 jobs. Which is fine if they need to do so. But it just depends on what you want out of life. Some people want to finance homes and “new” cars, the latest this and that gadget. Others prefer a more simple, free spirited lifestyle that doesn’t involve early mornings, long hours, and fake smiles. The only time I find life stressful is when I’m working in a shitty, low budget market. But most times, I’m happy with just 1 or 2 clients a day. I never discuss how much I make with others, but technically I could qualify for a $1,000 a month apartment if I wanted to (which can be a lot or nothing depending on your market)… but I can’t really trust that I’ll want to be stuck in another city paying rent, waiting for the same dried up client pool to contact me. when I could be out traveling the country, and naming my own price on rent. If I feel like staying at the embassy suites, I can. If I want the Econo lodge, I can do that too. Sometimes I’ll switch between both depending on the city and my schedule. However I am considering “settling down” eventually but I need to have confidence I’m making the right decision. I been based in St. Louis and considering moving there, but it can go from busy to completely dead month by month. It’s hard for me to trust living there full time will be a smart move.

Established, repeat customers. That’s the key words. Remember my previous post about the 1 time regular? The ones who show up once, then make booking requests over a 2 year period that they can never seem to keep. That’s a 1 time regular. And in some markets, it’s hard to build and keep regulars because it’s lots of other providers all trying to get the same limited pool of clients. And that’s not taking San Francisco or New York. It’s the more limited markets where there seems to be lots of escorts, but the general population is either frugal, “don’t pay for s**, or only likes a certain type (e.g. the “all American (White) look). That can be hell to contend with. Not enough new clients, no frequent enough regulars. It’s no wonder one escort in Kansas City told me, “all the escorts he knows has regular jobs”. Of course they would. That doesn’t mean that’s a standard rule of being an escort. It just means some cities aren’t lucrative enough to sustain over an extended amount of time. Doesn’t mean I have to do something I don’t want to do, just to conform to what everybody else is doing. Most the escorts I know (who are serious and doing well) are always traveling. So, very different perspectives. And a lot of the clients in the shitty markets have multiple bad reports from other providers. So, one can make an observation about who needs to be doing what.

Although this sounds like a set of storybook criteria that would be ideal for you, fact is: one can be all the above and still run into issues. As for being on time: some people out there want that but don’t return the favor with a timely response. I’ve had that twice this week. I message them/return their message and then they don’t reply back all day or until the next day, and expect me to be on time. One guy (a regular I actually like), I messaged him Saturday night about trying to set up a visit that he asked about (4th of July weekend, things are already hectic). He didn’t get back with me until Monday. Then wanted to meet the next day. I wanted to accommodate, but then I had to cancel because his time frame was limited and I’d be rushing to travel, check into my hotel and do the appointment by 3-4 p.m. Another guy, I sent a text Monday afternoon letting him know I’m available for an appointment. No response until 10:30 p.m. TUESDAY asking to come over. And he lives far. I started to, but then I told him we need to meet during the day because I’m not driving an hour in the dark and back to accommodate some half assed, last minute request. It gives an impression someone is putting a person on hold while they keep their options open, and then expect me to do backflips and accommodate them at the last minute. Then this morning sends a text talking about he had to cancel because he’s feeling sick 🤦🏽‍♂️ If someone doesn’t want their provider to be late: don’t wait so late to get back to them.

Is the deposit more inconvenient for the client than the cancellation is inconvenient for you? In that case: I would certainly advise to. Not all escorts work the same. Some out there don’t mind (or pretend they don’t) clients who cancel, but others may have more of a need to be certain the client will show up. Blocking a client is certainly a passive way of handling things, but I prefer to be more firm and stand up for yourself. Tell them you had an expectation for payment, and that you rely on appointments to follow thru because you paid your share upfront to make it happen, now they have to do their part. I feel the “blocking” culture has become so cliche. People just need to be upfront and communicate their expectations and desires. Blocking should be reserved for spam and safety purposes. However, if they refuse to reimburse, then block them. Because a few months later it could happen again (and they’ll act like it never happened either). Again, not everybody works the same so the level of importance of a session to go thru may differ. I hate using analogies sometimes to relate to sex work (because few are really relate-able enough to accurately portray the disappointment faced when a booking gets out right cancelled) but: think how air bnbs work versus cancelling a pizza. That freshly baked pizza can be consumed or taken home by an employee and probably costs $2-$4 to make. That $300 a night 2 bedroom villa can’t be rented out right away, and now has to possibly sit empty for a day or 2. Giving more than 1 chance is generous, however with the nature of the industry: I don’t feel someone should be given 2 chances to cancel (and 2 chances to NOT reimburse anything). However, it sometimes depends on how confirmed the booking was. Some cancellations can be so sly and clients may say, “well I didn’t confirm”. Whereas others are flat out cancelled.

I was in agreement with what was being said, until it turned into this: I didn’t say anything about refusal to pay or police. That’s not what I was referring to when I was talking about screening. He took it to a whole other level that wasn’t called for. I don’t mind varying input, but there’s no need to always turn the focus onto himself. On top of that, that’s misinformation and stigma.

Well, listen: you implied something and I responded to it. No need to minimize and make the discussion seem insignificant. If you’re going to tell me what I can’t do, you have to be open to hear the alternative. That’s all I’m trying to say.

I automatically include my number in my RM auto reply. I prefer to move to phone versus the platform. I will occasionally follow up with a regular reply in addition to my auto response, if I don’t hear back from the client. But overall, I don’t engage with back and forth conversations on there. If I did that regularly, I don’t think I would get much accomplished during my day. Not to mention, many of the messages I get on RM messenger are commentary, not informative. Therefore, it’s not much need for me to stay plugged in to it, responding round the clock. If I did that, I’d not get anything done throughout my week.

I have to disagree. The reason behind the situation is irrelevant. Abuse is abuse, and it’s no reason to believe someone shouldn’t be able to call the authorities in an abusive circumstance. That’s almost like saying, “someone overdosed on drugs, but since it’s illegal: don’t call 911”. Now if it’s a case of: “he didn’t pay me, I’m calling the police.”, that’s a whole other matter which would be considered civil and therefore non enforceable (but probably a good candidate for Judge Jerry).

By buffet, I meant “sampling tray”. And in that context I don’t specifically only mention clients (as I implied in this thread it extends broader than that, e.g. hookup etc). Like I said elsewhere, I met someone (non-client) without a number on a hookup site the other month (all the while my intuition was saying don’t do it, don’t do it, tell him to turn around and go home when he arrives if he can’t text me). He basically came over, did some lousy, rough foreply stuff and then got dressed after 10 minutes. Neither one of us getting off. It’s stuff like that which is the “red flag” of not wanting to exchange numbers. I think you’re taking things a little beyond the purpose of this post is discussing. All what you’re saying is +1 and great, but I’m talking moreso from a legitimate/safety aspect versus a client satisfaction point of view. Also I understand you’re coming from a different place, different country. Likely different attitudes towards the industry. Here in U.S., screening is just a common sense thing to do, AND… by not exchanging numbers, that lessens the chances of being able to screen them for reports.

Sometimes it’s not about putting people in boxes though. For me it’s moreso about experience. Nothing good has come from a person who doesn’t give a number before meeting. Either the sex sucks and they approach like it’s a buffet, or lousy communicators, or they don’t show up, or they do a “look and go”. Even if it’s nothing “bad”, I may just not like their approach. By not giving a number, it shows upfront a bit of unbalance (you have my number number and pics, but I don’t have yours). That’s not even how I want to start a meet. That’s also why I’m not huge on bathhouse sex because, I’m not big on the idea of fucking someone; often bareback…with no way of contacting at a later time. Atleast with a number someone can contact me and say, “hey I’ve tested positive for…”

Well that's the thing: if someone wants to play the "not interested/not serious" card once, I won't be willing to give them a 2nd chance to pull it again. When I have: I will usually bring it up the next time they contact me, if they don't get blocked. I wouldn't refer to it as self-inflicted stress. After all: it's them who's initiating the contact, and them playing childish, duck duck goose games at 67 years old (as one “client” who ghosted mentioned). I think anyone would feel a bit annoyed about that. Who wouldn't? If someone reaches out to contact about a booking, at-least have the decency to respond back when the other provider replies. I do all the above and guess what? Some still don't follow back up. Or they aren't consistent about it. It's all good though. It just continues to give me more reason and incentive to stick with a firm upfront policy when discussing any bookings. It does result in fewer texts, but at this rate: it's better to have 1 serious client who actually reads and goes thru the booking process, versus dealing with numerous back to back fakers who act like they want to make an appointment. This is once again a by product I believe, of there being more escorts than some markets can handle. Seems the more escorts in an area, the higher the number of fallout too. Even if it’s just a handful: that handful could give more room for people to “do the rounds”. Seems like if you’re not engaging them right away, when they contact, the booking is gone before it’s even confirmed. Sometimes people like that may not be bad clients, but they aren’t consistent clients and even if a good session comes out of it, those types often tend to go months before reaching out for another booking.

Should these types be blocked or followed up on? When it’s the latter, then I feel like I’m having to chase after people and that’s very annoying especially when it happens after only a message or 2. Like how many messages do I have to send to get someone to reply back? I’ve had like 2-3 people in the past couple days contact me (once again leads to the “should I take my number down” post), and then when I reply back a time or 2 with a informative worded follow up, they don’t reply back. The other ones are those who respond back initially, but when they don’t get a response back within a 10 minute time frame or so, they start sending “??” Or “are you there”, and when finally return their text and let them know you’re busy at the moment: they don’t respond. I’m about to start not responding to them, because it seems most don’t pay attention to my ad that instructs people to send consultation deposit when requesting a session. This is exactly why I can’t do it any other way too long, because most don’t seem to want or act like they can’t read 🤦🏽‍♂️

The usual excuses: “I’m partnered, married, etc.” in a case like that then yeah, by all means use a burner number versus non at all. Just be prepared to come with additional verification.

I find it better to have prerecorded vids if they want to see. A client of mine tried doing a FaceTime show the other month and it was a bit much trying to position the camera and do all the other stuff. Also some want to do it at a time that I’m not in the position to do so. If I did do so, I’d want to know whatever donation was sorted ahead. Pricing could be a tough one. I wouldn’t want to be getting off for $50, when an in person booking would be much more.

I’m in agreement. It seems if anything, there’s probably better luck on the apps than A4A. I wish the apps would let people advertise on them legit. Get verified, pay a fee and post. Not sure what’s holding ‘em back.

Good info. I had someone else try to arrange a session without a number or pics on A4A. I was open to do so considering he seemed to have a valid reason, but when he wanted to ask for a dick pic: I responded: “since you want to meet without a number or pics yourself, you’ll have to see once arrived” Sure enough, didn’t show up at 1 the next day. And didn’t show up the day of when he made like he could come at 3:30. Definitely no booking inquiries who won’t provide a phone number…

This is a good topic, I was going to ask the same thing! I know some guys sound very optimistic and practical about our prices: but unfortunately I think we’ll find out otherwise. I’m already debating dropping my rates a little, even though I just put them up the other month. Things are very slow, in a lot of markets. There is a place about 2.5 hours north of me that is usually always good: I went 2 times this past month, and got 0 clients. And there’s barely any competition except 2 or 3 providers. It sucked so much that I cancelled going to their Pride and catching Todrick Hall performing in the drag show. On the flip side: I think there’s more factors: I think the news relies too heavily on “struggling families” as the ones dealing with inflation, but never says much about single gay or coupled gays with no kids. Why not? Sometimes I feel things are over sensationalized. Even with gas prices: if a client lives a few miles from work, or doesn’t have a car: that’s a non factor. In addition, many clients make the money that can suppprt a family, and it’s just them. So even if things go up a couple bucks here and there, they still won’t be so out of pocket to afford $250/300. The cost of a kid is MUCH MORE than $300 every so often 😆 However, on a larger scale there’s other demons to contend with. As I’ve said before, the hookup apps. Let’s face it: there’s many clients out there who aren’t bad at all in the looks department. However, I understand the main reason is not wanting to deal with the riff raft of apps. I’m almost considering staying away from the apps for the pure fact that I don’t want to contribute to the industry’s demise. But, it’s almost not much choice because nightclubs in the Midwest outside of Chicago are lame, it’s hard to make hookups and friends unless you’re connected to a big social net (which is usually centered around drugs and foolishness). What I’m not going to do though, is be hooking up at random. I treat it as a social app and if I do like the person and see they’re putting effort into doing more than sex, then I will.

Catch 22: that’s already been happening though. For awhile. Look at Denver, look at Nashville, look at Phoenix and Dallas and other “medium” markets. All those places have doubled or tripled the amount of providers over the years, and especially since the re-openings/vaccines. Depends… Sex sells lol. That’s partly why I haven’t rented in a number of years. I just base myself with a couple of trusted ”sponsors” who lend me their space when I’m not traveling or staying at my family’s ranch. But just as I was starting to go house hunting again, it seems once again I’m going to have to hold off. But…if rents plan to go down in a deeper recession, that “might” be a good time to make a move. The concept of apartment renting in itself sucks. I put in over $35k over a course of a few years for a condo that I eventually had to leave. Then those same places sold from $65k in 2010 to $150k in 2021 and I’m pretty sure the LL cashed in. Some of the larger cities tend to be a bit overrated and run thru. Sure you get to be around more people/restaurants/nightlife, but that’s also more ads for clients to choose from and more spending money to be there. Even in Washington DC. It’s great and fun, but there’s also a steady stream of new/established providers for the same clientele.

Right… But just one thing: I would vouch it’s not an issue if a provider has a pre-written template though, right?

That’s the best way to go about it… I try to make my ad more informative versus just talking about myself like I’ve noticed in many ads. I can sell you the world, but basic things like advanced/same day notice, who can host, etc. are all things that need to be sorted. Much easier to discuss prior to the session…

As much as I agree, this is a fantasy too far gone at the moment lol. When you have shitty, bottom of the barrel, good for nothing, piece of crap disguised as a “place to meet other men” apps like Grindr; which actively ban/flag anyone even discussing escort services, and then have the same bottom-feeding leeches as members (it’s not allowed to mention escorting, but it’s allowed to say how you DON’T want one): how can anyone ever expect a world where more people can get by as escorts AND, do more than just get by? If anything: I think we have TOO MANY escorts right about now. Many cities in America can’t handle the volume that’s currently in progress. We can’t have more escorts, until it’s as acceptable as hiring an Uber/Lyft. It should be, because majority gay guys out here are just looking for NSA sex anyway. There should be a app service for that… Unfortunately, I feel if hypothetically there was a huge amount of escorts, prices would be driven down a lot. But whether it could produce revenue and success like marijuana dispensaries? I couldn’t tell you…

Are you suggesting that having escorting to make a living is, sad? I mean, I thought at the end of the day it’s everybody individual choice what they choose to want to escort for. I know this has been talked about before but, not everybody is in it part time. Some people may be okay juggling escorting with other jobs, but in a (lucrative) market, I think one can get by just fine. I think that’s why some American clients don’t take us seriously. You got everybody here just “part timing” it, not really invested. And people wonder why everybody is a flake. See it as a job, TREAT it…as one. All the fucking, “people on RM are just guys looking for extra money shit”, is very outdone. I’ve put the work in, I’ve paid for the ads/the pics/the accommodations. Now level up, and stop messing around (not you, referring to the overall scene).