JB_Studio38

Well that’s a good start. At least you’re making the effort. I’m thinking of doing something like a cheap inquiry fee of $1.99, $2.99 etc. for what you mentioned: questions. But then people would have to be prepared to pay twice: because that would not be a deposit. Mainly because: I’ve had clients who sent deposits still ghost at some point. Plus that amount isn’t really conducive enough to make any real profit with. However, I would rather only serious ones reach out to me.

Okay and? So…because of that, I’m supposed to, not take deposits despite what I already posted? I find that surprising, considering it’s brought up often with women providers, especially reputable ones (There’s DOZENS of Reddit threads on that very subject) It could just depend on who you’re seeing. If you’re seeing new to the scene guys, or guys who are just doing this on the side as a “hobby” and can care less whether a client shows up or not, maybe so. I know when I was on the West Coast (Seattle/San Fran) I did ask for deposits as well. Majority didn’t seem to have an issue. The ones I let slide without one (even telling them, “I’ll make an exception”), were an issue. You’re right. Why? Why do I. I’m tired of sounding like a broken record. I’m changing things up again, this time I’m not playing games anymore. I don’t have an interest in “working” texts and inquiries that go nowhere. I need to be getting paid for the time I spend doing that. I just spent a week in Denver. I had 3 great clients over the weekend. But during the week, I was responding to texts after texts and nobody showed up. All the while, I’m booking hotel nights, draining my bank account in the process. If it weren’t for other matters I had to tend to outside of escorting, I would have beat myself up for not leaving on day 3. One thing I’m finding in some markets: I pretty much have to put on a timer and make sure not to stay much longer than that period of time. With everything going on, 1 to 3 days is enough. Then keep it moving. I’m tired of saying the same thing. I can’t sit around and listen to what so and so does or who doesn’t take/pay deposits. I have to do what works for me. I don’t really have all the answers. I can’t tell you why some guys take deposits and others don’t. They probably don’t want to commit much more than the other person does. Or they haven’t seen and been thru the things I have. So perhaps their prerogatives are different. I decided the best thing for me: Give specific instructions for my calls, and only deal with those who are okay with them. Or at the very least: manage to read my ad. If other clients can do it, every client can do it. I actually need to focus on other areas of my life, I simply don’t have time to keep answering “inquiries” that don’t go anywhere. I simply can’t do it. I’m even getting rid of having a “work line” and just having a very basic phone service for texts and calls only. Also I’m cutting the RentMasseur email function (because I have taken time to respond to guy’s emails, detailed: and they don’t respond back). Or they’ll message asking if I’m available at a certain time, but if I don’t read the email, they won’t even bother to text to verify if I received it. Then when I do get back to them, I never hear back. I’m also going to seriously this time, stop showing my number from both RM platforms. In addition: the spam texts are getting very regular and annoying. Another reason to do so. And even many of the people texting have spam reports on their number as well. It’s just fucking mess.

And for stuff like that, I try not to get too bent out of, just because it’s easy to hide behind a screen and some people just want attention or they may not even be as attractive as the pics (can’t name how many times I’ve come across people who look different from their pics from years of “partying”) What gets me are the guys who I’ve actually met before, and seemingly had a great time or seems like things are going “somewhere” (even if it’s just a casual friends with benefits situation, no expectations). I want to put the blame on Grindr, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s more sinister than that. I think the drugs, weed and alcohol in the gay community has turned so many into cowards. Because 99% of the people who do the ghosting game I often find: they’re either druggies or drunks. Even if it’s just pot. It never fails. And that’s not judging or putting down the community, but it seems to be a cycle. If I can put 2 and 2 together and weed out the ones who are shit faced drunk every weekend, or doing extra curricular: maybe that’s a start.

Exactly… The only exception I can really think of, is if a client is hosting in a hotel and is able to be verified. All 3 of the above weren’t. Then there’s a select few cities in the country where I would be okay not taking deposits, but even then I would only for existing clients I can rely on. Many areas that didn’t have a lot of providers now have a steady supply of local and visiting. Idk if that is creating indecisiveness which causes a lot of this. But it’s not even about the deposits being needed as a leverage of trust all the time either. Deposits are there for whatever extra money I may spend for the session, which can be pretty varied.

I don’t have much to prove, but this is in response to the idea that because of Covid, monkeypox, inflation etc etc, that we should be making it easier for clients to book us, not harder. And part of that includes: not taking partial deposits to confirm. Well, here’s the catch 22: Even if I do make it easier for clients to book, it’s going #1 make it harder for me and #2 easier for the jokers 🃏 to waste our time. Some of the time-wasters seem to have become extra crafty. There’s guys out there who will contact more than once requesting a session, which they never confirm or show up for. Then when I call them out on it and let them know my cancellation policy or get on the Blacklist, a couple have even tried to impersonate a cop. Example: And then this fuckery from a return client I actually have good times with, but he never wants to pay a deposit: And then this “gem” of a person: who also had a report from another provider the same day he reached out to me for the 2nd time, after he ghosted mid-Consultation on the previous one: This is exactly why as of 2022: I don’t see ANY clients without a deposit. That’s over with. That’s old school, pre-2022 way of doing things. That’s why I went ahead and put up my website last year December. Because I already knew I wasn’t going to stay in biz doing the same as I’ve done before. I just don’t see it changing any time soon. I just wanted to eliminate this philosophy out there that a REPUTABLE (someone with like multiple great reviews, verified pics, etc) provider taking deposits should stop doing so in order to make things easier for clients and get more business. IT WON’T HAPPEN.

I could see #1 being it. Though, even though I can see it being a great occasional feature, I can’t see the merit in having it multiple times a week/month unless you’re really able to be everywhere at once or in an area that really attracts a lot of traffic. I have not but could see doing it in the near future. Seems to run about $48 per 24 hours per region of the USA.

Not even just referring to client/escort interactions (though it definitely present in it as well). But just in general among the gay scene. I’ve read articles about it, but I want to bring it up here because I think some of it seems to be more particular to the gay/hookup scene culture. majority of this Behavior tends to happen around that. I’m also not just talking about random Timewasters or casual chat conversations (I have occasionally been guilty for not responding to messages on chats/email). I’m talking about people where there has been a fair amount of chat between. Like where you’ve actually met in person. Since when did men become such B*****s? Many don’t want to communicate. I understand texting and technology can get overwhelming, and I can usually tell the difference between someone who’s just busy, or if a chat just naturally fades. Versus someone just flat out blowing off for no reason. I think the straw that might affect my continuity in the business, is that type of behavior. Even when it’s not coming from clients directly, I don’t like having to work with people who don’t feel they have a moral responsibility to communicate their thoughts and feelings. I also wonder if a lot of this has to do with race. I know the “race card” is a sensitive topic, but as a gay person of color, I feel like some people do it out of spite or fear (and to be fair, some of it even comes from other people of color) Afraid to communicate, afraid to disagree, afraid of anything that “might” elicit a conflict. So they just don’t respond. I see it all the time. Meanwhile, they’ll happily chat and hash it out with their White friends like it’s nothing. As of now, I’ve had at least 5-6 people off the top of my head within the last 30 days, who has completely fell off the map and stopped responding to me for no reason. And everything seemed to be fine beforehand.

Well they aren’t far from each other…though I haven’t been to either in years.

He’s not making that statement up though: https://nbc-2.com/news/state/2020/12/10/local-republicans-support-florida-becoming-its-own-country/amp/ “A Texas lawmaker also plans to file a bill that will allow Texans to vote on becoming an independent nation” …That said, I still 🤨 at the idea that just because there’s lots of hot guys posting on RM in a certain area, that it means it’s better than or worth the trip specifically for that reason. How many times do we have to hear: “he wanted $400, he showed up 2 hours late, he did this, he didn’t do that”. C’mon. Don’t lose your head. Not saying they may not be great but, don’t buy into the illusion. You can find hot cowboys in other areas just as well. Ever been to Wyoming?

I keep seeing the same Russian guy week after week. Like wtf lol. Switch it up.

Well this is where communication is key on both sides. Do you “sell yourself” or just ask questions? I know that sounds silly considering you’re the client, but sometimes it’s more than just asking questions. Maybe, send a picture. Some of my best connections are with clients who send pictures. I can picture and prepare myself for what is supposed to take place. I answered questions for someone last week, but it was non stop. And even after he said: one last question, he asked me ANOTHER question. But when I said send deposit and address, no follow up.

Yeah because once again I notice the other day and today it’s similiar RM of day who’s been on there every week. Not being a hater but, but it’s like…come on. I remember RentBoy was completely random. When it’s always just the same guys, it just makes me 🤔

Does anyone else notice this? Not to name drop anyone but, I see the same 2 guys who are RentMen of the day what seems at least twice a week. When I have considered doing it, it’s usually sold out as late as it can go. It almost seems like one would need to have some sort of regular arrangement to be RM of the day that often. On top of that, is there really a whole lot of merit to it? Even if you are advertised in half the country, considering majority of bookings lately are booked no more than a day or 2 ahead, I’d be curious as to whether the repeat exposure would equate to a surplus of additional bookings.

Are you suggesting that the ones who do are police? I’m still wondering how TF they pulled all those people in Florida in that sting. It’s one thing reporting bad clients, but they had to display the business of every attempted client they had. Perhaps the only bright side about the hurricane, is refocusing attention on things that actually matter.

This is why I strive to keep my expenses low (despite the difficulty in even that). Spot on here. And I was thinking to myself tonight, I think it’s time to start doing things differently. Being an escort at 35, I really feel the inclination to let go a lot of “standards”, and step outside the box and do things differently. I notice how companies constantly market to clients (like me lol). They aren’t waiting for clients to come to them, they are actively out there reaching out/responding/contacting potential clients. I’m not insinuating escorting should turn into high pressured sales pitching (and unfortunately with the level of unscrupulous time wasting clients who will love the attention, and have NO INTENT to book, I would advise against that system), but…I believe if done properly, the escort can initiate things sometimes. Hell, biz is SLOW. Few on the forum really want to admit it, but the industry is going thru a drought. Business is in the doldrums in multiple cities, and the only way I’m still making it is because I travel every other week/post in other cities weekly even when I’m not there yet, to keep my schedule busy. However: my rules would be, no contacting the next day for a session…unless the client may have hinted. I would give at least a couple weeks to a month and generally on a “I’m back in town again” basis. Also, I’m contacting clients who look at my RentMen Ad…but mainly the ones who I see looked at me more than once, and who are in a city I plan or currently in. I just booked a date with a client who I haven’t seen in a couple/few years. He looked at my profile, and his name/body looked familiar. I reached out to him, and he replied back and now we have something arranged. That would be the least of our issues. This country needs some divine intervention.

This discussion has come up before. I personally think it all depends on HOW you relate to clients. I’m not trying to imply that you or them only see each other as a transaction, but it depends how you go about it. I can sense a client who is likely to be very discreet, married/playing on the side. I probably won’t contact them out the blue. Versus a client who’s free and single and doesn’t mind a bit of connection. Long story short: I recently found out a client was mutual friends with a couple I met last year. Why? Because we have been keeping in touch and decided to link up at an event last weekend. I text him, he texts me. We text each other and ask to meet whenever we have the inclination. Idk how things are in Europe but, it’s 2022. It’s not the 2002 newspaper ads of yesteryear. Escorting has “technically” in my opinion, evolved into “hookup” culture, with benefits lol. Many/most of the hiring clients today, are in open relationships and many escorts ads have come a long way from a few words and a picture. It’s been a great way to meet higher quality men, who actually don’t mind spending, versus cheap guys who just expect you to go out of your way, and use up your gas to fuck them. There’s a guy who lives 80 miles from me. At first he offered me gas money, but flaked. Then couple weeks later talking about I can come, but he’s not going to give me gas money. I’m like bro, do you really think you’re going to make or break me by giving/not giving me gas money? Do you know how much I spend on gas per month, in a year? Goodbye 🚮 That’s one reason I try to develop good relationships with clients. I don’t want to meet dudes who devalue my time, effort and expense. For some reason, this comes off a bit condescending. It’s more like saying, “because I have more money than you, I’m busier and my time is more important than yours”. I remember years ago I was in DC unloading my luggage, and some bitch and her husband had an attitude because the hotel only had enough space for one car to enter/exit. They start getting an attitude trying to rush me, as if they are more important. He started blowing his horn, I started blowing my horn. She starting yelling, I started yelling. Then I left my car there and handed the keys to the valet 🚮 Obviously, they were running late to wherever they needed to be…but wanted me to bust my ass in the process to accommodate. And sometimes I feel clients do the same. They have limited schedules or don’t really contact with much room for planning, then fault us for being “late”. That’s not to excuse lateness, just that “people with money” didn’t exactly sit right.

The screening that’s involved with women SWs tends to be way moreso than with us. It seems many bi-clients might be used to it. But they often ask for ID, more commonly ask for deposits, and maybe other info. Most of the game players out here barely want to do any of that to get past.

And the other thing I’ll drop: People on here love to talk about asking the escort questions, but yet when the table is turned and clients get asked 2 or 3 simple pertinent questions, they either don’t respond or cut the conversation. So…I have all my info on display but yet, I can’t ask 1 question? How does that work? You can’t be all in the know, but not be willing to reciprocate the favor.

Must quote all 3 of you at once: I have to mention: sometimes an “unfriendly” or “not good vibe” is stuff that some clients make up in their minds, as an excuse. I just had this the other day. And I’ll detail how it went: For one: the client sent me a text a 6:58 a.m. on a Sunday MORNING and then when I didn’t respond, sends another again at 8 a.m. Fortunately my phone was on do not disturb because I was sleep in bed next to my “Fuck Buddy” that morning. That is far too invasive and early in the morning to be contacting someone for the 1st time, to begin with. Once I did get back to him later in the morning, around 11 (I make clear on my profile that I don’t start until noon for Outcalls and 3 p.m. when hosting) we exchange texts. But I kid you not: he took from 11 all the way until 5:30 pm to give me a time, which was for 3 hours later. All the while asking questions. When I told him I had already agreed to different plan and I would need a different time (because I asked him TWICE for time/address/deposit), I get no response. That’s not asking questions about a product. That’s just being a irritating pest. He already contacted me early in the morning, practically trying to wake me up, 1st offense. Wouldn’t give me specific time or location despite hours going by, 2nd offense. And then wouldn’t even respond when I said what time I COULD arrive, 3rd offense. It’s things like this why I have a strict deposit policy in place. I have to constantly explain on my ads about this and that thing because people assume when I move my ad to a different city, that I magically “left” the area, not understanding that if I wasn’t in the area, I would say so. But fortunately, I found out that person has 5 bad reports on blacklist app along with the 6th I posted. I made sure to include “tweaker” and “ timewaster” together, considering he asked if I can party so I can stay hard for him and his BF. Give me a break. And he probably sent me fake pictures of them too. That’s the type of time wasting stuff that gets on our nerves. Not just asking questions. All the above is true if you’re referring to DL/closeted clients. However, there’s also plenty of openly gay clients who play these games just as much. If anything, it’s often the closeted married guys who are more serious than the openly gays. I find the “gay couples” to be a bit more hesitant to book, hence the situation above. I’m just going to limit taking gay couples if I have to keep dealing with BS like that. I find the single, not active in the “nightlife” gay clients tend to be the more reliable ones. However, the other week I picked up a super discrete married client in a hotel bar 😆 He was just so involved in the conversation me and my gay friend were having, despite being married. So I had to whip out my phone and show him my website 😉 Makes me think: I need to do that more often, except I don’t live close enough to upscale boutique hotels downtown where that type of action is accessible.

There does need to be more escort input, but over the eons, people have come and gone or concerned posting could hurt their business if they say the wrong thing. There’s been a few good players, but people and priorities change I guess. Some escorts too just like to “play” very private. They only want to exude 1 type of image, the untouchable RentMan. Any sort of platform that blurs that, is best to be avoided. It doesn’t do anything to promote acceptance, change or opinions. But some people really just about themselves, and there’s just nothing you can do about it. When I do come here, admittedly it’s often during a time I’m going thru patches in the biz and need to consult. When things are smooth sailing, I just don’t always have the capacity to give input. When business is going good, I almost have to keep the momentum going on a subconscious level lol. And that could mean not really concerning what’s going on elsewhere. That said, when I am here: I’m willing to share and learn.

That should never happen. This goes back to the other thread I posted in. That’s exactly why I have an initial questionnaire, and I meant to say: Always ask what city they are in because majority of time I realize their area code could be from anywhere. It should be something like this: Hi and welcome, I’m (name). For your 1st contact, please include some more details so I can best accommodate your desire: Name/Age: City You’re In: Website Seen On: Yours or My place: This here atleast covers the bases. You shouldn’t be trekking to any hotel until first confirming they are actually in the same city. A “Westin downtown” isn’t even enough info to leave the house for. I need a specific address. It is exhausting to answer these questions, but I’ll ask them all day long versus finding out en route that they are inquiring about a travel city. As for clients not reading ads to know what city you’re in, that is frustrating and I find it to be most common on RentMasseur versus RentMen because the way it shows ads in the homepage “grid” versus RentMen, where you have to physically move your location to get visibility on whatever cities home page grid. This is sometimes where removing my number or saying “not available” comes in hand. I already know my home market is usually dead, so at times I’ll run my ad in a future or inspiring city with “not available” or no phone number. Sometimes I just want people to look at the ad, and get to know me. Some clients see an ad and get so eager, they assume I am in 5 cities at once. I think RM needs to give every client a tutorial about how to use the site. It’s harder to advertise in travel cities these days because everybody thinks just because my ad is there, that I’m also there. No. Ask me, don’t assume. And be willing to plan.

Well… I think clients input is okay to an extent, as you want to have both sides to a story and it does help having some feedback from clients in between replies. Some clients may even agree with providers on some subjects, which can often help others understand that it doesn’t always have to be differing opinions. Also I’ll add: when it comes to asking about client background/age, I’m finding I need to stay true to that. Before anybody says anything about it. The other week I had someone come thru, who I would have normally turned away before even meeting. I should have because he turned out to be a pain in the ass in more ways than one (no pun/reference intended). I won’t be doing that again. And I knew something wasn’t right because I was trying to get him to give more info about his looks, and he was being evasive.

Looking back at the text and response, even my view has somewhat changed since this thread came up lol. I don’t think there was even any “fault” in the exchanges. I see it was just bad communication on both sides, and unfortunately in todays gay hookup world: I’m learning bad communication is the #1 cause of most missed connections. I actually noticed that the escort’s responses were actually more time wasting than the clients. The client asked questions, the escort responded like a Grindr chat. This is why I have long time ago created Pre-written templates for every client, to get the conversation where it needs to go. For example: Hi and welcome, I’m (name). For your 1st contact, please include some more details so I can best accommodate your desire: Name/Age: Self Describe: Top/Btm: Website Seen On: Yours or My place: This right here answers 99% of questions I need to know. What does get me is some clients who immediately freak out and either don’t reply or say something like, “never mind”. I have to make clear to people, you aren’t texting your football buddy or Aunt Melissa. Be prepared that I’m going to respond professionally. If I was the client in this situation, I would have wanted to have my own Pre-template. Sounds like the OP did, but it wasn’t really pertinent questions. So, the provider got annoyed. But the provider was waiting for the client to do all the work, and that’s where he could have done better.

Actually , it’s even MORE of a mental toll NOT fucking three or four or more clients a day 😆 I’m nearing a week since my last in person client. I wish I had 3-4 friendly, respectful clients right now. That I can handle. But having ads up and no real bookings for days: I can’t.