JB_Studio38

Read below 🙃 But see, that’s the thing my regular said when we were discussing the situation. He was like, “I thought we were friends” and something like he didn’t know I was on clock the whole time, something of that effect. I’m like, I wasn’t on clock the whole time…but I told him TECHNICALLY if I was being a by the book escort: I would be charging him for every hour that we spend together. Somehow, he had a definition that I was his “friend” that he could also pay for “the S word” when he wanted to. But in between, he was buying me birthday and Christmas gifts, and taking out to dinners: Sooo, I did acknowledge that there was a “relationship” going. But not one that involved a commitment. Of course any kind of regular interaction with another human, is a relationship technically. I think people call things “friends” a lot but that definition needs to not be used to describe sexual situations. You can’t be friends and have sex. Can we invent another word for it? People either use friends to mean “I can do whatever I want” or “we’re dating but not exclusive”. Which the latter is what I believe was being expected. That we were dating but not exclusive. This is also why I prefer to be in a relationship when escorting (surprise surprise, right?). If I was playing by the book, and was involved with someone: I may have said “thanks, but I can’t accept this”. But being single, I don’t mind accepting such gestures. Also I find married and previously divorced men tend to understand these things a bit more. They can do things with less expectations because they already know, unless you married or engaged…there’s no need to assume a situation beyond what it is. And the way many gay dudes behave in situations, where they just ghost at random with no closure: I’ve come to accept that realization as well. However I was “friends” (again, using the F word) with a married guy last year and decided to cut it off this year. He was a bit TOO open than what I felt comfortable with, and was just the proverbial “unavailable man”.

I always feel anytime someone talks about not wanting to date, is not something worth expecting “down the line”. I dealt with that from an old friend of mine. I was into him, he was into me but initially it was “if I stopped” he would consider it. But that never happened because he was too busy “getting around” himself. However, eventually we finally got around to him letting me fuck him, so that was a surprising turning point. Things might have progressed into a relationship, but by then I had already moved cities and we weren’t about to be living with each other. I’d say continue the service if you can accept the situation for what it is: an arrangement. But don’t put all your eggs there holding out for something to change.

In the past couple years I been moving towards building connections with clients beyond just the appointment part of things. I know everyone has differing philosophies surrounding it. By boyfriends I don’t necessarily mean “we’re in a relationship” scenario. Moreso just a situation where I spend time with a client off clock and then just have the “Time” occasionally. Call it friends with benefit$ so to speak. In the past few months I “seen” a couple clients. But it ends up they’re either playing around with the situation (one client I was seeing off clock every now and then, took 4 months to tell me that he’s in a dating situation with someone, which explained his often mysterious unavailabilities 🤦🏾‍♂️, or they tend to want a lot out of it. One recently I’ve known for a couple years, cut me off because I wanted to join an invite on the town, the night of our “appointment”. But I’ve spent plenty of extra off clock time (general hanging out before/after a session) with him, so not sure why he made a big stink out of it. We also live an hour apart so I usually end up devoting my whole night at his place (which is closer to the city). Especially Saturday nights, which are generally the most eventful night of the week. We used to go out together, but he had previous addiction issues that resurfaced, and had to stop. So most nights were just spent at home or going out to dinner. Which was fine sometimes, but not every single time I come up. It was becoming like he was trying to control and monopolize my time in the area. Plus I’d do it without even asking for the overnight rates many professionals would probably charge. This has me considering to scale back on doing extended “hangouts” with clients. It seems some start expecting me to “behave” or not discuss anything that involves conflicting “communication”. It’s not the first time I’ve had a situation where instead of working out a disagreement, the “client buddy” resorts to just burning the bridge and leaving resentment.

I’m the type who doesn’t mind talking on the phone, but my thing is taking phone calls unannounced. It’s like “catching me on the spot” kind of thing. I prefer to screen by text first and then proceed. I used to only want to do phone calls, but then I’ve changed to only want to do texts lol. If someone wants to talk on phone, I prefer some notice. Likely because so many especially outside the paid world tend to do everything from start to finish by text. And now, there’s guys out there who don’t even want to exchange numbers to meet. I told one guy, maybe he should consider getting 2 numbers like I do, one for play and one for personal. He blocked me. Like okay, that was petty 😆

Yeah that’s a good strategy too. I been doing that in one of my cities, St. Louis. I have kept a handful of regulars there, so I’m usually able to run up without much more than a day or 2 notice. But St. Louis has become rapidly unprofitable to the point I have decided I’ll need to pull out of there this year. I just can’t stay anymore, it’s been so dead lately and been that way since summer ended. And most of the clients who have contacted me there get blocked and blacklisted for being dicks. I just can’t. However, I’m finding it tricky to hit any city too often. I seen this last year in one of the towns I went. First week, I was riding on a red carpet. I then went about 2-3 weeks later and I couldn’t get anyone. That particular area is good to go only once or twice a year, but I haven’t experienced living there. The RentM “market” is just bananas 🍌 (no pun intended). So many cities that didn’t have escorts years ago, are just being flooded. I was open to go to 2 different cities over the weekend, then noticed each one had a guy visiting who either a client hired us for a 3 way, or I know from conversations that the client contacted us both, and went with either me or the other guy. I know some people don’t like to view it as “competition”, but when clients start dropping lines like, “I’ll call someone else” just because I’m not available at the snap of a finger, waiting in briefs at the Hilton, sipping on hot toddies and watching porn: that’s not an encouraging sign. Problem is, many of the smaller cities (e.g. Amarillo in Texas, Springfield/Branson in Missouri, Places like South and North Dakota I used to visit) nowadays have fell off and aren’t worth visiting as much because many sites like Craigslist and MenRent that were familiar to smaller cities are gone. RentMen can’t win them back because they DON’T POST RATES. And because of that, it’s allowed free hookup apps to run those markets and make it where it’s harder to find clients. It’s a jungle out here.

Thanks, it’s always good to have a different position on the matter. I understand some of the error lies in the RM system and how they list our ads. I wish it was more transparent, and lot of times people either don’t read our ads or don’t know how to click “ABOUT ME” section on RentMasseur. This is why I periodically hide my number and don’t accept emails (there’s a button to click for that also). But then I concern clients are running in circles trying to figure out how to contact me (even though simply reading my ad will conveniently take them to my website with contact info). But, sometimes I have to do that to prevent clients from contacting me in other cities asking to meet “today”. However: I slept on it and have come up with 3 possible solutions. Those being: #1: Post in other cities, but don’t respond to anyone who texts in those areas until I have actually arrived to my hotel. So I have a list of “callbacks”. So that means not replying to anyone who says, “hey are you in XXX this afternoon and available to meet today?” Even though this sounds mean, it might be the best move to avoid conflict. #2: Don’t post in any cities in advance. Which means only going on my own dime and ensuring I have enough funds to get/stay there in the event I have 0 clients (not a great option considering I have done that before with only occasional success) #3: Continue the standard plan that has worked for me: advertise in advance (not talking a year, but just 2 to 4 days or a week…but of course that’s too long for the “now client”), make sure I get at least 1 deposit before taking off, and then just working last minute bookings when I’m there (and of course still making sure they pay deposits because that’s just fair and also it’s no secret that some clients will still flake and make excuses not to show up even when I am already in town). #4: Stop traveling all together (not an option in my area) so I can’t even consider that unless I move to a different area that’s busier or take on full time work.

I’m sure this has been discussed before, but it’s a New Year and most topics have to be rehashed again since things are always changing. But I’m starting to wonder because, the solution seems to be so elusive. I like to post in cities in advance, but there’s a difference between having travel dates and then having the ad itself in the area. Like on RM and A4A it’s quite simple, and only takes a click of button to move the “home” city (which actually does not mean someone LIVES in that home city, but means it’s simply a base city where one chooses to post in). So: if I’m planning to go to Washington, D.C.: I can move my ad to the area before actually going there, and then add up to 6 travel cities for whatever places I plan to go (requires inputting dates) or am nearby willing to go (if it’s within 250 miles of whatever home city the system sees where I’m in). The issue with this: I don’t want to post travel dates, if I haven’t planned a trip yet. And I can’t plan a trip if I don’t have any clients ready when I arrive. Otherwise, I risk spending money to travel to an area, but then not having anyone booked. In some cities, I may get a client on my first day, in other cities I’ve seen it take 3-4 days to get my first client. And that’s 3-4 days of hotel costs I may have to eat before I get any bookings. So, it’s easier to just home base the city first, gather responses and then get back in touch when I sort out when I’d like to arrive. Problem is: this is losing effectiveness because most clients who see my ad in a city, automatically assume I’m already HERE. I’ll move my ad to a city, and within a couple hours I get someone asking to meet TONIGHT or NOW. Then they get attitude or start being disrespectful when I tell them I’m not available yet, but can see them either the next day or a couple days out. Other times I have to lie to people, and say yes I’m in town…But I’m booked today, can I schedule you tomorrow? No response. Next day or couple days later, they ask the same question…And tell them the same thing. No response. It’s like: we can play this game or we can be responsible and plan something for once. And just in the last couple days, I’ve had to argue or listen to disrespect from 3 different clients just because I told them I am not in the area TODAY, but that if they can confirm and coordinate a day of availability, we can make it happen. Instead they go into impatient mode and get an attitude. It’s like dude: I placed my ad in the area minutes ago, you created this assumption in your mind that I just landed 🛬 and checked into a hotel like a genie 🧞 This all just makes me not want to advertise in cities ahead much. Maybe the only advance advertising I’ll do, is posting my ad in the city between the time I’m parked and walking from my car to the hotel lobby. That’s the most advance notice people seem to be able to handle. Problem with that is: I’m then gambling out of pocket going places and paying for things upfront before ever getting my first client. And personally my cushion has been obliterated from living in a bad market…So I rarely have the funds to do that. Like, I want to get out of my current economically challenged city and travel to a more profitable region: but I don’t have “disposable” funds to do the trip sight unseen, if there isn’t clients to rely on. I have done that numerous times in the past, and had to live with the regret. Even BEFORE I took deposits (in case anyone tries to use that excuse). I’ve gone to places like Las Vegas, Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, Portland: with no advanced clients and then didn’t get any during the time, which proved to be a waste of time and resources. And couple times I’ve almost ended up stranded and stuck in cities like that, because all it takes is a couple back out clients, combined with some rogue hotel tying up $100-$200 in deposits. And that could equate to being left without anticipated money to continue traveling or go home with. That’s why I tell people here all the time: I DO NOT CARE IF YOU DON’T LIKE THAT I ASK FOR DEPOSITS. BECAUSE I HAVE TO SPEND MY MONEY UPFRONT FOR THEM ALSO. GAS/HOTEL/ESSENTIALS AREN’T FREE. Most all of the times I’ve traveled last year, have only been because clients have confirmed with a deposit in said city, and it’s given me confidence enough to travel there and then take on other clients. This has often been dubbed the “anchor client” policy. But it seems anchor clients seem less and less because nobody wants to listen and learn about an escort’s actual travel plans. They just want to see an ad, assume assume assume, but not willing to really plan much.

Ha. Right about the same as me. 250-300 used to be quite hard to get for 1 hr few years ago. However it wasn’t really necessary because one could stay pretty steady at $150. At the same time, that was an exhausting price to have to work at. The type of clients who came by at that rate, weren’t necessarily bad but…seemed more into the last minute thrill versus a planned experienced. They also never wanted to pay more than $150, which would eventually annoy me. $150 is okay when seeing 1-2 clients a day (which is not a sensible way of working over the long run, plus it just doesn’t happen much anyway because the lack of decent public escort sites), but not when it’s the only booking of the week. But I have noticed a lot of former local Denver clients have “dropped out” of the hobby, vanished. I’ve gone back to charging $150 for certain sessions, but I still prefer the $450-500 visits at least a couple times a month. That’s why I can’t go back to having just 1 price.

I’m mostly Top occasionally Vers so I’m not out taking Uber dicks for hours or anything like that (no shade to anyone who is), but on the occasional times I do offer it: I just find a summer’s eve disposable with just plain water works fine. To me it’s more sanitary when traveling than carrying around a reuse-able something. I once experimented with the shower douche, it was not comfortable and it had way too much water I couldn’t tell how much went in, and I never got clean. I just kept feeling like I had to sh*t again and again. The key also is to do everything gently. Don’t douche too aggressively or use too much water, as that can make a mess during the action. Also don’t do it too many times or it can make it uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s just not a good day to get fucked, and you have to douche at night and the next day to really get where you want to be. Also the Imodium tip is always an extra peace of mind, but might have to see whether it’s best before or after cleaning. I just know all this because I know douching isn’t just for bottoms, it’s good for anybody every so often. Helps keep the system clean, which is good for overall health.

However, cheap hotels have their place. Some of the best action goes down in such places lol. I recall last month, I got a simple budget type place and had 3 come thru in 1 night. The next couple nights I wanted to be fancy and did the Marriott. Nobody showed up 🫤 Summer’s Eve $1.50 versus room with handheld shower: $150+. I’ll be cheap 😆 No complaints 😜

Well there’s always the case of, just when I thought I seen it all…I haven’t. And I still say that at 35 😆

What actually is the donation more common in Denver? When I first started out there, $150 was a comfortable number. But with the cost to do biz there being higher and the market being flooded, I haven’t been able to go under 200-250. Had a client see me on RM who I previously met from CL. He was like, I want etc etc can you still do 125? I’m like ummm…Last time we met had to been like 2012. It’s been 10 years. This is why I was glad to have been fortunate to get entry level into the biz. I had known a guy who paid dudes on South Beach. I didn’t really know until he seemed to be such good “friends” with a couple super muscled dudes in the area. Then it dawned on me. I also worked on the side for a time before I actually started full scale. However, I felt my first couple experiences on RentBoy were very intimidating, despite me having been 7 months into the game. First client hosted me in a house like a castle, I had never been around such wealth. The 2nd client wanted me to watch me fuck another super hot escort, and I had never done that before. But now: there’s not much I’ve not seen or done so it’s def more an adventure than anything.

Similar to Pup 🐶 masks too

Well the novelty of this compared to just regular being illegal, is the level offense that it is being considered (similar to like MJ: here it’s mostly a misdemeanor only in the non-rec states but a big difference if it was a felony). Even with it being a public stunt, it could still obliterate the biz in that area if it continues to be touted as such. And if they are only talking about pimps trafficking multiple workers, they need to be more specific. But it’s not like they have sex worker’s best interest in mind when they wrote it. They pretty much threw the escort out, with the bath water.

That’s why all current sites for such things are outsourced. RM is in Amsterdam. Technically that could be the case, but who’s opening up escort sites in Texas nowadays?

Thanks for the clarification. It sounds like they are trying to scare people with the same rehearsed broad language, but in reality it’s just the typical going after guys trying to turn women into hoes and profiting off of it. If they really wanted to make a difference. Just say: dudes (or women), you can’t sell women (or boys) for prostitution and make a gain off it. Its a felony. Of course the media tends to overstate the better by saying buying any sex is a felony.

It isn’t…but I figured you would try to turn that around to support your opinion. But since you insist, I’ll give some opinions that are not just made by me:

It is working great for me. If you make a statement addressing me about something, I do have the right to respond with my take on it as well. If you can’t handle a discussion, get the fuck off the thread. It shouldn’t be just you telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing, and making like it’s facts when I just told you my take on it. If you only want to hear and agree with yourself, don’t even talk to me. Period. If you actually paid more attention, you would see I often refer to my LOCAL area cities where I’ve been in St. Louis and Kansas City. I had to start implement deposits in these areas because the high number of last minute bookings/cancellations I was getting. Not taking deposits didn’t do me any good, I was just getting a bunch of bookings that never panned out. Elsewhere I do well. In December I did a circuit thru 4 cities within close range and exceeded my goals. So yeah, please don’t relay incorrect information here. But, since I often have to travel it makes sense to go ahead and still maintain it because most sensible escorts would agree it’s good practice to do deposits in situations that require travel. In some cases I do waive deposits but only if the booking involves minimal confirmation e.g. I’m already hosting at a hotel or the client has agreed to send a deposit but has a valid reason for not being able to send one (and getting burned before is not one of them).

Most clients on the message center don’t have my level of experience. I am full comfortable doing things this way. And it is not a once in a lifetime rare event either. At one point I was dealing with this every week at least. I’ve been as little as 5 minutes away from clients and they still flaked, citing: “My wife came home, my son just walked in, my business call got moved”. This after me texting and stopping my whole life to accommodate them. They should have figured that out before they called me. Don’t fucking 2nd place me. That’s partly why I had to start taking deposits. I don’t have time to be de-prioritized, chasing cancellation fees, etc etc. I also got tired of being given false hopes of an appointment and earning, only to be let down. Nobody gets thru the gate without a deposit unless they have some other proof that I can rely on. But even then, if I’m not in the position to spend the money (gas/hotel/etc), they need to come up with some of it. Even when I had my own convenient apartment in the city, people would still often not show up. I wish I would have done more deposits back then. Now as far YOU: you are convincing me 0% to stop taking deposits. I’m not about to go back to the way I was working, when it wasn’t working. Few years ago, I used to live in Orlando and didn’t take deposits as much. There were still periods where I went 2-3 weeks with no appointments. Lack of business isn’t always a single factor issue. There’s not only competitive options in the business, there’s competitive options on Grindr, Bath houses. There’s logistical issues as well. There’s also cities where there aren’t enough paying clients, some clients are racist and don’t trust ethnic business men, some cities and states are just full of cheap gay guys or super closeted married men who want to call blocked, not give a name, and hell: pay you after the session. Why the fuck do I need to live my life working like that? When I was in San Francisco last year, I only seen 3 clients and all 3 paid deposits. The ones who didn’t weren’t reliable. You need to think more expansive and not look at $25-$100 being the nuclear explosion to business. It’s not. You make like I’m asking for $50,000 upfront. People spend more than my deposit, on lottery tickets with horrible odds. If somebody can’t spend $25-$75 upfront, they’re either cheap or insecure, or they hire too many escorts without much discernment. Non of which I need to do business with.

Let’s assume the escort only sees a couple clients a week on some weeks. Even seeing 1 $300 client a day hypothetically is actually $300/24 hours a day of texting/RM messages = $12.50/hr. Now if someone is very low volume or in a market where majority of the gay life is on hookup apps, or there isn’t much demand in the area: That $300/168 hours a week would actually equate to: $1.78/hour. Remember: $300/hr isn’t x 40 hours a week.

And the other thing: every time you order Uber, Amazon, Carvana etc etc to be delivered to you…whatever it is, to be delivered to you, you pay partial or upfront in full. Instead of talking about how providers shouldn’t be getting deposits, talk about how to find reputable providers who will stand by their deposits, or ask why they require one in the first place. Educate yourself. It’s easier to make assumptions, than to just respect someone’s individual ways of working.

Let’s not start making things up. This has already been discussed before. Don’t say what most clients won’t do, when I already have seen for myself the difference in business between taking deposits and not taking deposits, which is certainly not “seriously” limiting it. A client getting burned by sending a deposit, is often a result of not doing their research ahead of time. There’s a whole community of 200,000+ members on Reddit that discuss these very things. Yes, sex work discussion does expand beyond this forum. Not to mention, for every client that has 1 story of getting burned, an escort can give 10 stories. So, that doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things. How about this story: The last time I went on an Outcall without a deposit, it was a regular I’ve known for years. I was on my way to his hotel in another city. I had a flat tire, thanks to some idiot who allowed a piece of bungee cord (the metal hook end, not particularly sharp but at 80 mph…) fall from their truck or whoever. I waited 2 hours for AAA to arrive, at night. Meanwhile, the client was uncompromising, complaining, saying how he didn’t want to be up late, that he can’t wait until I arrive tomorrow (one can only go a limited distance on a spare, and since it was night I had to wait til following day). He couldn’t even wait the next day. Yet he’s known me for 4 years. Next day wouldn’t even return my messages. I got paid nothing. I had to call another regular client back home just to borrow funds to get a hotel room for the weekend so I could take other calls, because the client who was supposed to be booking me, left me high and dry. Even though it wasn’t specifically planned to meet him, he was still supposed to be the first client. And the day I left, was because that was the day he said he was available. If he wasn’t booked that day, I would have not gone that day, I would have waited til the next day or day after. So don’t try to convince me that I shouldn’t take deposits to cater to someone’s comfort zone. Absolutely NOT. I refuse to do biz without a deposit anymore, and unless a client can agree to a deposit but simply can’t make it happen for GOOD reason, I will not work with that person PERIOD. That’s my choice. That’s why I keep 50+ reviews and go out of my way to build a website, because I want clients to believe in me. Now, if someone goes and sends a deposit to some random headless guy on RentMen and gets ripped off, just because he’s “hot”, and says everything you want to hear in the ad and didn’t bother to research further, that’s not my issue. Take the issue up with that person who the problem was with. Not every provider who asks for a deposit.

Texas, Florida and Russia just need to become all one big federation. The first to come up with the wildest unnecessary laws for the sake of punishing people for the shock value of it. Perhaps, Texaflorissia shore 😂 …Ok nuff said. I don’t want to get this moved to politics. I do think this is a genuine provider issue. Even though it’s not pleasant to discuss, it’s always good to be on the up and up.

Well fortunately, long time ago RM deemed us as porn stars, with no rates. So they really wouldn’t have much to go by.

Well, I know when I was posting to go last week, I did have a handful of inquiries. But I had to unfortunately postpone halfway there because the timing and schedule didn’t allow me to continue. I would probably guess most of the knowledgeable clients may be ignoring that. But again: just because something is a felony in one place, doesn’t make it Ian “actual” crime. As we’ve seen with Britney Griner. If a client ever got in trouble in Texas, I would advise using the Kamala video as defense. It was consensual! The VP said it lol.